37. Finn
Finn
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 9TH
L ex has me under strict instruction to stay in the gym office until she gets back from giving Callie the sweatsuit I chose for her.
As if I want to be anywhere else. When she didn’t pick up her phone on Saturday, I lost all my nerve, and I haven’t tried to talk to her since.
“Coach Finn?” Liam’s timid voice is a welcome distraction while I wait for Lexie to come back. He’s one of my sophomore students. Nice enough kid, although he never really says much, so I don’t know him very well.
“Hey, Liam, what’s up?”
“Do you, uh…can I talk to you for a second?”
Uh-oh.
“Yeah. Of course. Come on in, what can I do for you?”
He shuffles in and sits across from me, then he just stares at his thumbs in silence.
“Liam?”
His eyes peer up at me from behind his shaggy bangs.
“What can I help you with?”
He continues to shift around in his seat, pulling at the tops of his pant legs and running his hands through his hair. Good god, teenagers are frustrating.
“I, um, I think I might want to try out for basketball this season.”
“Oh! Hey, yeah, that’s great. We’d love to have you.”
He snorts. “I mean, I’m not very good. But I like it a lot.”
I haven’t actually seen Liam on the court, so I can’t really say whether he’s any good. But it saddens me to hear him say it. “Well, that’s why we practice, right? And if you like playing, then that makes the practice go a lot better. Did you try out last year?”
He shakes his head. “No way. No. I wasn’t good enough to try.”
I pause. “What makes you say that?”
“Well…I didn’t think I was good enough to try. But…now, maybe.”
If Lex was talking like this, I’d probably tell her we’re all good enough to at least try. And that even if she gets cut, that doesn’t mean she’s not good enough. She’s still valuable. And she could ask the coach what to do so she could work on those skills in the off-season for try-outs the next year.
But she’s my daughter. And I don’t know this kid well enough to dispense that kind of advice.
“So how can I help?” I ask him.
“Well, you used to play when you went to school here, right?”
“Yeah,” I grin. “That was one of the sports I played. It was a lot of fun.” My parents may or may not have asked me to play some variation of a sport every season to keep me out of trouble. It didn’t work, but I had a blast.
“Do you think you could meet with me after school sometime for practice drills?”
The question surprises me. “Of course. Yeah, absolutely. You have time Monday after school?”
For the first time, he smiles. “Totally. Thank you. My dad says you’re a legend.”
I chuckle. “I don’t know about that. It was a team effort, I played with a lot of great guys.”
“No, not back then. Like, recently. For the War with Miss Callie. You didn’t care how dumb you looked, you just did your best.”
“You know what a backhanded compliment is, Liam?”
His cheeks go red, confirming he knows. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just…I never wanted to try out for anything because I didn’t want to get made fun of. But you and Miss Callie did a ton of shit—stuff—and had fun. So I guess even if I’m not good enough for the team, maybe it’ll still be fun.” He stands and walks to the doorway. “See you Monday.”
“Looking forward to it. And hey, Liam?”
He pauses and steps back to look at me through the doorway.
“Don’t think of it in terms of being ‘good enough’ or ‘not good enough.’ Sometimes there are people with more experience or skills that will make it before you. And maybe that means you try harder for next time or maybe that means you move on to try something different. But you’re always enough, okay?”
He nods. “Thanks.”
Holy shit, was this that feeling Callie was talking about? Being able to be a role model and someone who can actually help? No wonder she likes teaching, that was amazing!
And all I want to do is run over to her classroom and tell her about it.
I guess I still could…it’s not like we’re not speaking to each other. But we haven’t actually spoken, either.
My phone starts squeaking like a ferret because I got a text (yes, I did spend over an hour trying to figure out how to make a squeaky ferret text alert, mind your own business).
Callie:
*photo*
Callie:
Touché, Coach. You win…for now, anyway.
Seeing her standing there, wearing a tiara and holding up the sweatsuit…she seems like she’s happy. She seems like she’s okay. And that’s what I want for her.
So go talk to her, dummy!
I’ve made up my mind. I do a double check on the locker rooms, then turn the lights off in the office and lock the door behind me. Throwing the keys in my pocket, I jog down the hall.
“Hey, Dad, you ready to go? Why are you running?”
Lex says the word “running” with such disdain that it wouldn’t be possible for me to convey it here. But trust me, there’s judgment.
“Oh, that was fast. You gave her the outfit already?”
I know she did, but I’m hoping the question is enough to get her to move on from her question. We walk back towards the front of the school and the main doors.
“Yeah, she hates you.”
“She doesn’t hate me,” I grumble.
I get a voiceless scoff in response, and the rest of our journey to the parking lot is in silence.
“By the way, Hazel is coming over for dinner,” she announces.
I stop. “Tonight?”
She turns around and looks at me like I’m an idiot. “Yeah, tonight. When else would she be coming over?”
“You know,” I scold, pulling out my car keys. “A little more of a heads up would be stellar.”
Lex rolls her eyes. “Whatever, Dad, you always make too many burgers, anyway.”
At least Liam thinks I’m cool. He said I’m a legend. I just repeat that in my head for most of the drive home, and I realize that it’s another plus to teaching that I’d never accounted for. A nice little reminder that just because one kid thinks you’re the worst doesn’t mean they all do.
I’ll take that as a win.
I’m genuinely concerned something is wrong with my daughter.
Not because her bad attitude around me completely vanished when Hazel showed up for dinner (although the emotional whiplash was real), but because I’m watching her put her cheeseburger together, and I can’t trust what I’m seeing.
“Did you seriously just put lettuce and tomato on your burger?” I ask.
Lex and Hazel both stop mid-fixing and stare at me. “Is that weird or something?” Hazel asks.
“No,” is my veggie-hating offspring’s immediate response.
It is weird. It is definitely weird.
“What’s the big deal?” Jonah asks from his seat at the table.
He and Delilah are here because Lex is right; I always make too many burgers.
I shoot him an incredulous look. “Lettuce!” I declare, as if that answers his question. “ And tomato! ”
Lex ignores my skepticism and turns to her friend. “Have you tried pickles on your burger before?”
Hazel wrinkles her nose. “What kind of pickles?”
“Well, I like dill, I think we have some in the fridge. Miss Callie told me about them, they’re fire!”
Excuse me, what the fuck is going on?
First of all, I would like the record to show that I have been eating dill pickles in alarming quantities since before that child was born. She’s turned up her nose at me every time she’s taken a bite of one.
Every.
Single.
Time.
Second of all, she’s now putting a third vegetable on her burger?
I try to keep my mouth shut as I watch Lexie nod eagerly in agreement when Hazel concedes the pickles are a fantastic addition. I try not to say anything when they both talk to Delilah about how much fun they’re all going to have at the salon with Callie while Lily does her hair for the dance tomorrow. But when they giggle about trying to get Aaron Hillmore into the gym to be Callie’s surprise date, I can’t keep my composure.
“Are you kidding me right now?”
“Wow, Dad. Jealous much?”
I narrow my eyes at her. Of course I’m jealous. But that’s not the point.
Jonah clears his throat. “I think maybe your dad just means that it’s not really appropriate for students to get involved with their teachers’ dating.”
“Yeah!” I agree. “Also, considering I’m still her boyfriend, I’d appreciate it if you left the parent trapping to Lindsay Lohan.”
Hazel looks confused. “Wait, you guys are still dating? I thought you broke up because Miss Callie is moving to Arizona.”
Lexie’s jaw drops, and my heart bottoms out. Jonah and Delilah both freeze mid-bite. “What?” I ask.
“Hazel, you weren’t supposed to say anything,” Lex scolds.
Hazel slaps her hand over her mouth and gasps. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”
“Wait, Lex, you knew about this, too? Why am I always the last one to know these things?!”
“Dad, we found out by accident when we dropped off the sweatsuit, okay? She was on the phone talking to someone named Toshi about flying out for an interview when we walked in. She told us she wanted to tell you in person and begged us not to say anything.”
No. No, no, no.
I stand up so fast, my chair topples backwards. “I need some air,” I announce.
I realize it’s kind of a dick move to just up and ditch everyone, but that’s who I am now, apparently. Just a dick, all the time.
I traipse down to the bottom of the stairs, and I don’t stop walking until I’m on the sidewalk. The roaring in my ears kept me from hearing Jonah’s heavy footsteps, but I know he’s standing next to me now.
Just like I know he’ll stand there in silence with me for the next twenty minutes if that’s what I need to do.
“Well, that was news,” I finally say.
“Sucks when they leave,” is all he says back.
“I knew there was a chance she’d go. But having it confirmed feels like a kick in the dick.”
“Yep. I understand that.”
“How did you deal with it?”
“I don’t know that I’d go asking Jay for advice on that one,” Delilah walks out to us from the stairs. “The girls are upset, they feel bad.”
“It was an honest mistake,” I shrug.
“What are you going to do?” she asks.
I shrug again. “I have no idea. I mean, just let her go, right? I can’t make her stay.”
Delilah shakes her head. “I swear, is everything black and white for the two of you?”
“Hey!” I say at the same time Jonah exclaims, “What did I do?”
“Finn, have you ever thought about, I don’t know, just telling Callie that you’ll support her?”
“What are you talking about? No one’s more supportive of her than I am!”
“Oh, okay, that’s interesting. So, if I call Callie right now and ask about it, she’ll tell me she never felt like you were pushing your own selfish motivations on to her?”
“I mean…not in so many words, but…”
“When Lex grows up and starts dating, would you be comfortable if a man talked to her about her future the way you’ve talked to Callie?”
I stop short and let that horrific image play out in my head.
“Callie thinks you’ll only support her if she does what you want her to, Finn. That’s not how relationships work. Even the town has done more to back her up than you have.”
Ouch.
I rub the back of my neck. “You’re right.”
“Yes, I know.”
Something Delilah said gives me an idea. But I’ll need some help to pull it off.
“Oh no,” she shakes her head. “I know that look.”
Jonah nods in approval. “I do, too. We’re in.”
“Jay!”
He throws both arms in the air. “ We’re in! ”