Chapter 40
FORTY
HALLIE
“A little more to the left.”
He moves to the right. “This good?”
I sigh. “No, Gabriel, your other left. It’s not centered at all.”
He looks over his shoulder at me, still holding the painting against the wall. “Baby, I don’t even know which way is up anymore, we’ve been doing this so long.”
I roll my eyes, crossing my arms from where I stand on the couch, facing the wall behind it. “Don’t be so dramatic. What good are those muscles of yours if we can’t put them to good use?”
Gabe grins. “Man, you’re bossy today.”
“And you said you knew what you were doing!” I counter. “Do I need to text your dad?”
His grin falters, turning into a frown. “No.”
I suppress my laugh as he turns back to the wall. Thankfully, when he shifts the painting slightly to the left, it’s perfect. I tell him so, and he carefully removes his hands.
Gabe spins to face me. “Damn, my girl knows how to paint.”
I shake my head. “It’s not my best work. I’m still a little rusty.”
“If this is rusty, then you’ll be hanging in some fancy European museum before long.”
This elicits a loud laugh from me. “I’m hardly Louvre material, but I appreciate the confidence.”
His eyes bore into me, and once upon a time, the intensity would have sent me running. Not now. “You’ve always had faith in me,” he says. “Let me have faith in you.”
Warmth spreads over me, from my head to my toes. “I love you.” The novelty of saying it still hasn’t worn off, and I hope it never does.
“Love you, too.”
He crosses the distance between us, wrapping his arms around the backs of my thighs and throwing me over his shoulder. I shriek as I’m lifted off the couch, my head swimming as the blood rushes there.
“Gabriel!”
He smacks a hand to my ass. “I upheld my end of the bargain. Now I want my reward.”
We both know he would have put the painting up for me regardless. In fact, he’s the one who wanted me to start making art for the house. Our house, he says. Part of me wonders if we’re moving too fast, but the bigger part of me has been waiting too damn long for this to tap on the brakes now.
As soon as his foot hits the bottom step, the doorbell rings. We both freeze. The chime sounds again, and Gabe pivots and deposits me back on the floor. I blink as I reorient myself.
Gabe heads for the door, peeking out the side panel. “It’s Kevin,” he says to me.
If the mood wasn’t dead before, it certainly is now.
I haven’t heard from any of the Landells since I stormed out of their house. That was two weeks ago now. I’ve been trying to move on, to forget about them, but that has proven to be more difficult than I thought. I evidently have issues with letting things go.
My palms grow clammy as I walk toward him. Gabe waits until I nod before he opens the door.
Sure enough, my father stands on the porch, hands tucked into the pockets of his wool coat. He gives us a sheepish smile.
I stare at him like a fool.
“Hi,” he says. “Sorry to drop in unannounced. Do you have a minute, Hallie? I’d like to talk, if that’s alright.”
Gabe looks down at me. He sets a hand on my back, and I lean into him. “Foster?”
The unspoken question hangs in the air. He wouldn’t hesitate to shut the door in Kevin’s face if that’s what I needed. What I wanted. But…I find myself nodding.
“I’ll be upstairs if you need me,” he says.
Gabe drops a kiss to my forehead and then walks away, and I’m left alone with my father.
I clear my throat. “Come in,” I say. “We can sit in the living room.”
My limbs feel stiff, like a wooden toy soldier’s, as I lead him from the front hallway. Part of me wishes Gabe would have stayed, if only so I had something steady to lean on. But the other part of me knows I need to do this on my own.
These demons—the scars my parents, inadvertently or not, left behind—are mine to vanquish alone.
I turn to offer Kevin a seat on the couch, but I find him looking at the freshly hung painting.
It’s a rendering of the guesthouse, with its green siding and all the fallen leaves around it.
Gabe told me to fill this house with my art—I figured something that represents the newest chapter of our story was a good place to start.
He gestures to it, walking closer. “That’s beautiful.”
I blush, looking down at my feet. “Thank you. I… I painted it.”
He smiles warmly. “You have remarkable talent, Hallie. Though I suppose you should take what I say with a grain of salt, given I’m just a layman when it comes to fine art.” He laughs softly at that, and I manage a smile. “I mean it. You’re incredible.”
Though I’ve made progress, I still don’t know how to properly receive compliments. So I awkwardly clear my throat, shuffling toward the chair perpendicular to the couch. Kevin takes the hint and rounds the couch, settling onto the cushions.
For a moment, we simply look at one another. I wonder if he’s thinking the same things as me. If he’s replaying our last encounter on a loop, trying to pick apart all the ways he went wrong.
He sighs. “About the other day?—”
“I’m sorry,” I blurt, then cringe. “And I’m sorry I interrupted you. Before you go any further, though, I just want to say that I know I shouldn’t have lashed out at Dana like I did. I?—”
“You were right.” The words stun me enough to dry up my voice. Kevin gives me a sad smile. “Everything you said was right, and I’m glad you were able to stand up for yourself…when I didn’t.”
I shift in my seat, even more uncomfortable now. When I imagined speaking with Kevin again, I wasn’t expecting the conversation to go like…this.
“When I set out to get to know you, to have you in my life, I never meant for anyone to get hurt,” he says. “Perhaps it was na?ve of me, but I figured all our lives would be better for it. Now I can’t help feeling as if I’ve made yours worse in the process.”
I shake my head. “This was never going to be easy,” I say. “But…I’m glad you reached out. I needed to know. To know you. Please know I am grateful for that.”
Kevin sets his hands on his knees. “I shouldn’t have pushed so hard, so fast. Dana and I…
We haven’t ever properly sorted through what my affair did to our relationship.
That hurt has been ignored for far too long, by us both, and you bore the consequences of that.
For that, I am sorry. I put you in an impossible situation. ”
I can see the sincerity shining in his eyes. Gabe said he had been skeptical of Kevin’s intentions in the beginning, and I can’t blame him, but it’s clear to see that Kevin means what he says now.
“To be honest, I’m not really sure where we go from here,” I admit.
“It’s long overdue, but Dana and I are going to counselling.
Regardless of the outcome of my marriage, though, I want to have a relationship with you.
If you’re willing.” He inhales shakily. “I’m not the best man, I know, but I want to do better.
To do right by those I love. I don’t want to live any longer with regrets, and my biggest is letting you down. ”
I swallow down the wave of emotion threatening to sweep me away. “I want that, too,” I admit. For the longest time, it was all that I had wanted. “But I think maybe we should start slow.” I offer him a smile. “You weren’t the only one who got carried away.”
I was so excited about the prospect of being wanted, I didn’t stop to think about how diving in headfirst might end poorly. There are so many feelings involved here, and not only mine.
“For what it’s worth, there isn’t some kind of standard I expect you to meet,” Kevin says. “I want to know you simply because you exist. That’s enough for me. Hearing about all the wonderful facets of your life is an added bonus.”
Something inside me shifts then. It’s slight, but it’s like some small fissure in the deepest part of me is being mended.
Tears line my lashes, and I nod. “Thank you. I… Thank you.”
Kevin pushes to his feet, and I stand, too. “I should get going. I don’t want to take up too much of your time,” he says. “Maybe we could meet at Dockside for lunch next week? Just you and me.”
“I’d like that.”
“Oh.” He slips a hand into his pocket. “I almost forgot.”
When he extends his palm toward me, the purple bracelet Caitlyn got me is sitting there. I take it, smoothing my thumb over the beads.
“She wanted me to make sure you got it,” he explains. “And when you’re ready, she’d like to spend some time with you. Bryan, too.”
“They don’t hate me?”
Kevin shakes his head. “Not at all. They understand why you did what you did, and they regret how things went with their mother.”
I walk my father to the exit, and then I wave when he stops beside his car. Only once he’s backing down the driveway do I shut the door.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I send a quick text.
Kevin gave me the bracelet. Thank you again. I think I need a little time, but I’d like to get to know you and Bryan too.
I barely make it halfway up the stairs when a reply comes through.
Caitlyn
Take all the time you need! We’re not going anywhere.
And I’m glad you like the bracelet. Purple is my favourite colour too.
Upstairs, I find Gabe sitting in bed, watching TV. Wordlessly, I crawl across the mattress and settle into his waiting arms.
He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “How did it go?”
“Good. It was…really good.” I shift against him so I can better see his face. “I’m sorry I asked you to lie for me. I don’t think I’ve properly apologized for that.”
He shakes his head. “I knew what I was doing. Besides, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you, Foster.”
“Because you love me?”
“Because I love you.”
“Good,” I say. “Because I love you, too.”