BEANS
“Fuck!” I shouted as I glanced around. “Stupid fucking niggas,” I grumbled.
I stood in the middle of my studio, my baby, my pride and fucking joy that Dio and Scooter had destroyed.
I wasn’t expecting Dio to show up, but when he did, I knew something was about to go down.
Now I regretted chasing after Piggy. I was hoping those niggas took that shit outside, but I guess the universe had other fucking plans.
Scooter seemed to hold his own against Dio, but I knew if I had let those niggas keep going, Scooter would've been dead. Dio showed no mercy for niggas, and that’s what I liked about him.
The boy was intelligent, loyal, and determined, but he needed a little more discipline.
So, when he asked me what I thought about Chi Kappa Chi, I knew where his head was at.
Scooter, on the other hand, the lyrics were nasty, straight, raw shit you didn’t get often, but the nigga was a loose cannon.
He was a grimy nigga looking for the come-up and not caring how he got there.
The shit was too familiar. Tomorrow, his ass was headed to a battle rap session that paid big money.
If he wanted to get back in my good graces, he’d need to deliver the same bars he spat before getting his ass beat.
If he did that, winning that thirty grand would be nothing.
I didn’t even bother to clean up the place as I left the studio.
I knew if I stayed there any longer, I was going to blow a fucking lid, so I decided to head across town to see Mali.
Although he faced struggles, he seemed like he was finally on the right track, but God felt like that wasn’t enough.
That entire night replayed in my mind, and the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that those niggas from NTR were the ones who caused it. The shit wasn’t just a hit-and-run.
Chev wanted us to unite and figure out what happened.
The last thing any of us wanted was for him to relapse.
We all knew he only had his brothers and now Symphony to lean on.
The nigga had no parents to check on him, and to me, that was a big part of his downfall.
I would much rather have parents who weren’t there than active parents whose only goal was to lie, torture, and control every part of your life like mine. I hated them, especially my Fiona.
When I reached Mali’s floor, I saw Chevy entering his room from the other end of the hall.
I wish I had known he would be here; I would have waited.
The last thing I wanted was to deal with this nigga.
Since being part of the Zoo shit was cool, I enjoyed it, but mainly stayed to myself.
Chevy was a different breed. He was the one nigga that wouldn’t just let you walk away.
He wouldn’t just shut the fuck up and mind his own business.
He was the one guy you had to face every time, and when you did, you better come correct or not show up at all.
I didn’t like how he talked to people. I didn’t like that he came from money but acted like my background was a problem. The nigga’s family history went back a long way and had been stained by evil. So, to me, that nigga Chev couldn’t tell me a muhfuckin’ thing.
When I entered the room, Mali gave a weak smile. “Saved by the Black Educated Ass Nigga we call Beans.”
Chevy looked at me curiously, “So that’s where your name came from. Where does the S come in at?”
I moved closer. “It’s added for a little razzle fucking dazzle.”
“Humph,” he said.
I glanced back at Mali, who snickered. “What’s good, Black Man?” Mali asked.
I stood by his bedside, “Shit, checking on you. Seeing where your head’s at.”
He tossed his hands up. “I mean, who wants to be in this position? I’ve been thinking about what the doctors said, and no matter how many times I try to rationalize it, the truth remains that I can’t walk.”
I could see the hurt in his eyes. The entire thing was tearing him apart. “What about—”
Chevy stood. “Don’t bring it up. That’s the last thing a nigga wants to think about while trying to figure out what things are going to be like when he leaves this place.”
I turned to Chevy. “Respectfully, I wasn’t talking to you.”
Chevy nodded. “Respectfully, huh? Well, Mr. Educated Black Man, so you call yourself. Next time you want to help your fellow brother who’s going through sobriety, don’t bring up anything that’s going to give him a reason to relapse.
For a nigga with the word educated in his name, you sure are a simple muhfucka.
Mali, call if you need something. I’m out before I allow my inner ignorant nigga to unleash on the, what you call yourself?
” He paused as he stepped up to me, tapping my chest with the back of his hand.
“Black Educated Ass Nigga and trust I’ll add the S for spice.
You know, to add a little razzle fucking dazzle. ”
I sucked my teeth as my lip curled up when Chevy turned his back on me to walk out the door.
Once he disappeared, I focused my attention back on Mali, whose brows raised.
“The nigga can be tough, but he's a soldier.
I can tell he's been through some things, like all of us. Ease up, Beans, we all have to learn to listen to someone.”
“Nah, y’all got to do that. I cannot be controlled.”
Mali laughed. “Yeah, nigga, your parents fucked you up just like the rest of ours did; yours just have money,” he paused. “You need to relax, go find some pussy. You're uptight. It’s almost your birthday and the holidays, go find you a Hoe-Hoe-Hoe,” he joked.
With all the jokes he tried to crack, I knew beyond that smile, my nigga Mali was broken.
All of it was too familiar. After leaving the hospital, I thought about what he said.
It was possible I needed some pussy to exert my energy and frustration.
However, I was a different kind of nigga in that element and in my life outside of TSU and the Zoo.
It was a part of me that no one could tame or even imagine, including Piggy.
So, if I decided to play that game and really get involved, she needed to be an expert at her fucking craft of taming a beast like me.