BEANS
As things finally settled down and people were eating, I couldn’t keep my mind off Paige.
The idea of her truly walking away from me stung.
Everything I feared about love was coming to fruition.
It was if the beast in me simmered down to allow Braylen to be able to feel and a nigga felt everything.
I watched as she fell in so beautifully with the Zoo, like she was meant to be in this space.
Every time she pushed her braids out of her face or laughed, I broke a little more inside.
To see all my niggas happy while I sat like a lost fucking puppy made me sick.
The shit was bothering me so much that the longer I sat at this table, the more I cracked.
I wanted to stand up and shout, “I want you to love me,” but I couldn’t because if I did, it would be me admitting that I had fallen so hard a nigga couldn’t get up.
Me staring at her must have been obvious because suddenly I felt a tap to my shoulder. When I pulled my eyes away from her, I turned toward Scooter. “Nigga, go talk to her,” he whispered.
“I tried. She keeps saying later. I fucked up. She knows about it all,” I told him.
Dio turned toward us. “She knows how you feel. Sometimes we can’t wait around because if we do, we might lose that chance.
Shit, I chased Samara,” he paused. “No offense, twin, but I had to yap her from your brother. Shit just didn’t sit right with me knowing the girl I love was with another nigga.
Now, I got to find a way to get her away from her Charles Mason cult ass momma. ”
I gave a dry laugh, but I understood. I turned to look back at her. This time, her eyes landed on mine. I was trying my best to read them, but she pulled them away so fast that the shit pissed me off, and I got up from the table. “I’m out,” I said as I walked out of the house. “Fuck!” I shouted.
I didn’t ask for much, but this was the one thing I wanted the most, and a nigga couldn’t even get that. I headed toward my car when I heard a voice, and that made me melt inside. “Braylen!”
I turned to see that short stature and pretty ass face. She let out a short breath. “Let’s talk.”
I didn’t know what our conversation would lead to, but I prayed it ended with her forgiving me because if she canceled me like the X on a controller, I didn’t know what I would do.