CHAPTER 4 #2
“Oh shit,” Jordan couldn’t help the laugh that erupted. Tristan hated Jake. Everything about him was the opposite of what Tristan was, and though they played different sports, they still ran in the same circles and had to use the same campus gym specifically for players.
“Don’t fucking laugh bro,” Tristan let out an aggravated sigh. “The amount of self-control it took for me to walk away and not lay him out...”
Jordan nodded in understanding. His brother had a reputation for being a bit of a hot head, and he also stood a sturdy 5 inches taller than Jake with significantly more combat experience. He would without a doubt ‘lay him out’ as Tristan put it.
“Don’t you dare do that, you’ll get kicked off the team.”
“Yeah, no shit, that’s why I walked away. Fuck man, seeing her with him was like a knife to my heart.”
“When did they start dating?”
“They’re not. She said they’re lab partners or whatever, but it was obvious that he’s interested in her.”
“Trist, I think you’re overreacting,” Jordan leaned forward to place his beer on the very small and beat up coffee table.
“It’s not like they’re together or anything.
She’s single. You spend a lot of time with her.
What exactly did she say when she turned you down?
Because you have a tendency to be dramatic. ”
Tristan rolled his eyes at his older brother’s annoying words.
“She said that she thinks I’ll break her heart and that’s why she doesn’t want to get involved with me.”
“Ah,” Jordan said as the real issue became clearer. “Well can you blame her, Trist?”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Yours and that’s why I’m trying to help you see clearly. She didn’t say that she doesn’t like you, she said she’s scared. You’re going to have to show her with your actions, not just words, that you’re not going to do that.”
“But how am I supposed to do that?” Tristan asked.
It seemed like such a simple thing – but although Tristan had a multitude of experience having fun with girls, he didn’t have a lot being emotionally vulnerable with them.
And to be frank, neither did Jordan, but he always seemed to have a much more level head and stable view of the world.
“Well, I would just keep showing up. Keep being committed to your study sessions. Don’t go to any crazy parties.
Definitely don’t hook up with anyone. Keep telling her how you feel.
Just try to be a stable and steady force for her.
She’s afraid you’re too unpredictable, too chaotic.
You need to show how her that you’re honest and a man of your word. Show her with your actions, Trist.”
Tristan stayed quiet but nodded his understanding. He felt the intense need to tell her again – to tell her the extent of his feelings for her and then show her exactly how he feels about her. All he could hope at this point was that she would be open to receiving what he has to say.
Tessa sat with Abigail in their living room as they ate some of their favorite finger foods and sipped on charDianey.
It was now a Wednesday night, the only night of the week that they both were able to sit together and catch up from their busy weeks.
It had been a very special tradition that they started last year.
Tessa sat on their vintage couch wrapped in her favorite crotchet blanket that her grandmother made for her a year before she passed.
It was chilly outside. The October air had a bite to it and it had been gloomy all day, and it was starting to sprinkle.
This was Tessa’s favorite kind of weather, and usually she would be deliriously happy sipping wine on a rainy night with her best friend, but she couldn’t ignore the steady feeling of longing, confusion, and sadness that was occupying her heart.
“I don’t know what to do, Abigail,” she said in a whisper, looking into her wine glass.
“What’s holding you back, girl? Because he seems great, and he clearly really likes you. What’s telling you that you don’t deserve to be with this guy?”
Tessa sighed and took a few moments to contemplate the question.
“I don’t know. I guess I’ve just had such disappointing experiences with relationships.
I always have such high expectations and then the guy turns out to be a liar or boring or full of himself or only wants to hook up.
Why would he be any different? And he’s so much more than any of my exes.
I’ve seen with my own eyes the girls that he’s been with still obsessed with him even though they broke up.
If I started...dating him or whatever the hell he wants to do with me, he will probably just end up going back to one of them. Who knows how many there are.”
Abigail’s hazel eyes watched Tessa carefully. She knew how amazing her best friend was and knew how beautiful she was and everything that she had to offer. For some reason, Tessa was always selling herself short.
“Tessa I’ve only been around you guys once and it’s so clear that he’s enamored with you.
He looks at you like you’re a precious diamond or something.
He begged you to go to that game and then begged you to come to the party after.
Which, by the way, he followed you around like a lovesick puppy the entire time.
He was equal parts trying to keep you safe from drunken losers and also trying to make sure no one would hit on you.
And the smile on his face when you were singing like an idiot in the back of his truck?
You need to stop overthinking and let this guy love you.
Something tells me it could be the greatest surprise of your life. ”
Tessa felt her eyes well up at her friend’s words. Abigail was always so kind and uplifting. Their friendship was pure and genuine, and she thanked God every day that they were assigned as roommates their freshman year in those god awful dorms, because now she had her best friend.
“I have to see him tomorrow for our study session and I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Tessa said with a sigh.
“Watch him not even show up. He looked so pissed that I was with Jake on campus on Monday. Like he wanted to punch him in the face. I was so stunned by it that I just stood there like an idiot.”
“Dude, you’re so blind its insane,” Abigail said with a laugh, “He was jealous that you were with another guy. Tessa, this guy has feelings for you. Like deep rooted feelings that he’s trying to fight but can’t. You’re making me feel bad for him, and I never feel bad for a man.”
Tessa laughed out loud and then took a deep breath, letting their conversation process and all of her thoughts settle in.
Her phone began vibrating, pulling her out of her thoughts, and she looked down to see Tristan’s name on the screen. Her heart stopped.
“He’s calling me,” she said, looking up at Abigail with fearful eyes. “What do I do?”
“What do you do? Answer it you idiot! Did you not just hear anything I said?!”
“Alright, Jesus.”
Tessa took a moment to gather herself before she decided to answer.
“Hey,” she said, her voice cracking slightly.
“Hey...” His voice came through on the other end. It was deep, slow, and strained.
A few moments of silence hung between them before Tessa decided to be the one to speak up. “So...what’s up?” She couldn’t help but laugh nervously, giving Abigail an awkward look.
“Can you come outside, please?”
“Outside where?” She asked, confused.
“Outside of your house,” Tristan answered flatly.
“You’re outside of my house?” She shot Abigail a ‘help me’ look to which Abigail threw up her hands in an attempt to say ‘you’re on your own’.
“Just give me five minutes Tessa, please.” He sounded desperate and emotional. Her heart thudded against her ribs hearing him like this.
“Okay, I’ll come out in a sec.”
“Put on a jacket, its freezing outside.”
He hung up without giving her a chance to answer, and she sat there dumbfounded, her mouth hanging open.
“Well...?” Abigail asked anxiously, literally sitting on the edge of her seat.
“He wants me to come out and talk to him.”
“So go!”
“I’m in my fucking PJs with no make up on!”
“Oh please, spare me the bullshit Tessa. That’s when you’re the prettiest even though you don’t believe me. It’s actually very annoying. Here,” Abigail got up and tossed her one of her oversized sweaters that was hanging up on their coat hooks. “Put this on and get your ass out there.”
Tristan waited anxiously in his truck, watching his windshield as light sprinkles landed.
He cracked his knuckles nervously and tried to regulate his breathing.
He didn’t even get this nervous before games, but games didn’t require him to be emotionally vulnerable.
All he had to do during games was lock in mentally, turn up his levels of aggression, and show the other team absolutely no mercy.
It was the opposite of emotional vulnerability, actually.
And right now, he was about to try to lay his heart out for Tessa, again, but much more than he did after the party.
It was ironic that she was worried about him breaking her heart, when he felt like she had the potential to completely crush his.
His breath caught in his chest when he saw her emerge from the house.
Her tiny figure was completely engulfed in an oversized sweatshirt and her long legs were covered in grey pajamas bottoms that looked like a silk material.
Her hair was straight but pulled back behind her shoulders and her face was bare, making her look easily 5 years younger.
He stifled a groan at how adorably beautiful she was, although he wasn’t pleased to see that she was barefoot.
She opened the door and hopped into the truck just as the drizzle was starting to pick up. She looked at him tentatively, attempting to give him a shy smile.
“Tess why aren’t you wearing shoes?”
“Huh?” She asked, looking down at her pink toes peeking out of her long silk pants.
“It’s cold and raining outside.”