CHAPTER 10
Tessa wakes the next morning by the sun shining through her window, and the house cat, affectionately named Fatty by Abigail, curling up against her neck.
She opens her eyes slowly and takes in her surroundings, allowing the events of the previous night to creep into her mind.
She instantly remembers Tristan, and quickly sits up in bed, looking around in confusion.
She swears she fell asleep in his arms. Did he leave her here?
Why wouldn’t he stay with her? And where is he now?
She quickly checks her phone and doesn’t see anything from him.
She calls him three times in a row, each time his voicemail greeting comes only increasing her anxiety.
She immediately walks out into the living space and sees Amber making coffee with Abigail sitting at their small wooden dining table going through some flashcards.
“Hey Tess,” Amber says, pouring herself a cup and bringing it up to her lips, “Trist still here?”
Tessa shakes her head and clears her groggy throat before speaking.
“I was hoping you guys knew where he went. He’s not here.”
“Oh,” Abigail said in surprise, putting her flashcards down, “That’s weird. He was here with you pretty late last night. I wonder when he left.”
“And why he left,” Tessa says with a sigh, “And now he’s not answering his phone.”
“Practice maybe?” Amber asks with a hopeful voice.
“No practice today,” Tessa replies flatly. Dialing his number again only to get voicemail. She grunts and pads over to their couch, flopping down as she begins to nervously chew her nails.
“You better not be chewing,” Abigail says dryly, and Tessa instantly takes her shaking hand away from her mouth.
“I’m sure he’s fine,” Amber says gently as she comes to sit next to Tessa on the couch.
Tessa loves each of her best friends for different reasons.
Abigail is good at keeping it real, helping Tessa see the facts instead of emotions, and always keeping her thinking rational.
Amber is the opposite, and is great at being gentle, encouraging, and perhaps a little bit delusionally optimistic.
Tessa isn’t sure which one she needs right now.
“Have you tried calling one of his friends?” Amber asks.
“No, I should probably call Jordan, right? I’m mean I’m sure he’s fine, but it is kind of weird and out of character.”
“For sure call Jordan,” Amber agrees, nodding her head slowly.
“Let me pee first and get some coffee,” Tessa says with a sigh.
She returns a few minutes later, and after taking a few sips of the coffee she feels a bit more awake and ready for this phone call with Jordan.
She is unsure why, but something tells her whatever she will be met with on the other side of the phone won’t be great.
“Put it on speaker,” Amber says, and surprisingly Abigail comes over to sit on the couch with them as well.
“Okay,” Tessa says nervously, biting her bottom lip so hard she’s surprised she doesn’t draw blood. She dials Jordan’s number and then places the phone on the coffee table in front of them. It rings twice before Jordan picks up.
“Tessa.” His voice comes through stern and deep; it makes Tessa’s pulse immediately speed up.
“Jordan? Have you heard from Trist?” She asks, trying to keep her voice from shaking.
“Have I heard from Trist?” His voice comes out rough and dripping with sarcasm. Tessa is taken aback and doesn’t quite know how to react.
“Um…yeah? He was here with me last night, but when I woke up this morning, he was gone and I haven’t been able to--”
“Trist is in fucking jail, Tessa.”
All three of the girls gasp in surprise and Tessa’s blue eyes go wide with shock, and she immediately looks at her two lifelines sitting next to her, but they look just as shocked and confused as she is.
“What the fuck?” Tessa blurts out, her heart pounding in her ears, her eyes starting to sting and water. “What do you mean he’s in jail?”
“What do you mean, what do I mean?” Jordan’s very annoyed voice slices through the phone speaker, “He got arrested last night and is jail for the weekend. He won’t see the judge until Monday.”
Tessa is speechless, her mouth hanging open but no words come out, her mind racing a million miles per hour. What could have possibly happened overnight?
Abigail notices quickly that her friend is unable to speak, so she decides to take over.
“What did he get arrested for, Jordan?” She asks, her voice just as curt and cold as his.
“He beat the absolute shit out of Gardner,” he replies, and Tessa immediately feels her heart drop to her stomach and a wave of nausea come over her.
“Oh my God,” she whispered, holding her head in her hands and letting a few tears slip down her face. Amber is next to her, holding her tight, and Abigail continues to take charge of the conversation for Tessa.
“And why the fuck did he decide to do that?” Abigail asks. “He was here last night with Tessa, and everything was fine and normal. Why did he leave without letting anyone know and go beat up Jake?”
“Fuck if I know!” Jordan yells, “Ask Tessa!”
His voice is harsh and accusatory, and Tessa is not used to Jordan speaking to her like this.
“I begged him not to retaliate against Jake, okay?!” Tessa’s shaky voice suddenly breaks through their conversation, “I told him to promise me, but he wouldn’t!”
“This is not your fault, Tessa,” Amber says into her friend’s blonde curls.
“Okay well whatever happened between you and Trist and Jake or whoever the fuck, Trist can kiss his football dreams goodbye. Coach Adams already knows. His scholarship is revoked and he’s off the team. Fighting is a hard no. And this isn’t even fighting, Trist fucked him up bad.”
Tessa’s eyes close tightly, her chest feeling heavy and her heart beating so hard against her ribcage she feels they might break.
“Oh my God,” she says again, tears pouring, her breathing getting faster, “Abigail why did you have to tell him!”
“Are you kidding?” Abigail asks Tessa calmly, “As if I had a choice? He straight up told me he would bulldoze me to get to you. He knew something was wrong Tessa. It was either me giving him the information or him forcing it out of you.”
“I understand that he was upset,” Amber said, “But he should have thought about the long-term consequences of his actions. This is like, really bad.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Jordan’s voice comes through, reminding them he is still on the phone, and still pissed.
“I’ve watched my little brother work harder than anyone I know to excel at football.
And now here he is, the best player on the team, getting scouted by multiple NFL teams, and he threw it all down the drain for a fucking chick! ”
His words are harsh, and Tessa lets out a sob, but she understands where Jordan is coming from.
She doesn’t feel an ounce of pride that Tristan did what he did last night, even if it was for her honor.
A heavy blanket of guilt envelopes every inch of her soul and her body suddenly feels heavy and achy.
“Jordan watch your mouth!” Abigail says.
“Can we focus on what we can do to help?” Amber says into the phone with an exasperated sigh.
“To help what? Even if you all paid for his tuition, he’s still off the team and no one else will take him. He almost didn’t make this team because of ‘personality concerns’, and he just fucking proved them all right!”
Tessa is still quietly crying into her hands, countless thoughts of what she could have done differently racing through her mind, going over and over the last conversation they had.
They had said I love you. It had been such a special moment.
She thought she could trust him with what happened to her and her confession of being in love with him.
How did it turn into something so horrible?
“Alright this conversation is no longer productive,” Abigail says dryly. “Call if you need anything from us, Jordan.” She hangs up before he’s able to reply.
“Listen Tess,” Abigail says, wrapping her arm around Tessa’s shaking body, “He made his own decisions last night. He’s a grown ass man. A big ass grown ass man. What he did last night is 100% on him, and he and he alone is to blame for the consequences of those actions.”
Her words are delivered gently and with nothing but love, but Tessa only feels anger, guilt, shame, and frustration, and she has absolutely no idea how to move forward with any of this.
It’s almost 11pm before Tessa finally finds her way into bed.
She spent the majority of the day with Abigail and Amber in the living area, speaking with them and letting them console her.
They tried to take her out to lunch and on a run, neither of which helped ease her mind.
She even made her way onto campus later that evening and was able to find Coach Adams who confirmed that Tristan was indeed off the team for good.
She sat in his chair with tears streaming down her face, begging him to reconsider.
And he really was so nice and patient with her, but he also very firmly had to tell her that no, there was nothing that could be done.
“Tristan knew the rules and he chose to break them.”
Tessa cried for an hour straight after her conversation with Coach Adams. She refused to eat dinner, refused to shower away the horrible day she had, refused to call Tristan through the county line that his teammate Aric had sent to her.
She didn’t think she’d be able to talk to him.
The guilt swimming around in her gut was poison and seeping into every cell in her body straight to her rapidly beating heart.
Did he know yet that he was off the team and lost his scholarship?
Would he hate her for the rest of his life?
Would he even want to speak to her ever again?
Every possible worst-case scenario was plaguing Tessa’s mind, and she was so restless she felt like her legs would fall off from how aggressively she was shaking them.