CHAPTER 12
“Hi Trist,” Tessa’s voice comes out unsteady as she shifts uncomfortably on her feet.
“As soon as I heard the name Tessa, I was going crazy wondering if it was you,” he says with a soft laugh, “How have you been? What the hell are you doing here?”
“Yeah, crazy right?” She says with a laugh and tucking a few strands of her hair behind her ear. “I’ve been working for the New York Times, and they assigned me to you guys for a few months. Apparently, you guys are a pretty big deal.”
She gives a small laugh and his face breaks out into a smile. She’s timid and uncomfortable, but at least she’s talking to him. He could work with that.
“We are,” He answers with a cocky grin, earning him a playful eye roll that makes his heart flutter.
“But this is amazing, it sounds like your career is going well. You knew what you wanted to do back then and it looks like you went for it and gave it your all. Not a lot of people can say they’ve achieved that, Tess. You should be proud of yourself.”
She takes a deep breath and clears her throat, clearly uncomfortable with his compliment, which makes Tristan feel like he just took a step back from the little laugh she had given him just a moment ago.
“Thanks, I uh, it’s been a lot of hard work.”
“So do you live in New York?”
“Yeah, in the city.”
“Wow,” he says and shoves his hands in his pockets, “What’s it like being in Kansas City after living there?”
“I’ve only been here for a few days, but the people are nicer, that’s for sure.”
“And the food is better,” he answers quickly.
“I don’t know about that.”
Her smile is back, making him feel warm and more at ease. The Tessa he fell in love with 10 years ago started off like this – hesitant to open up to him with clearly defined walls up around her heart. He wonders if he could break them down again, just like he did when they were at Vanderbilt.
The sound of footsteps coming down the hallway breaks them from their conversation, and Tessa watches as what looks like another teammate is walking towards them. Her eyes dart over to Tristan who suddenly looks like he’s annoyed.
“Hi, I wanted to properly introduce myself,” the very large and handsome football player says. He gives Tessa a kind smile and holds out his hand for her to take, which she does, and returns his smile.
“I’m Alex Watkins, D Line, Safety.”
“English please,” Tessa says with a giggle, and Alex laughs along with her. Tristan crosses his arms and turns his body towards Alex as if putting on a defensive posture.
“I play defense,” he answers. “I wasn’t at the meeting today, but Andy filled me in that you’ll be hanging with us for a while. I gotta say, usually the media that follows us around are men, you’re a very pleasant surprise.”
“Alex,” Tristan says with a stern voice, “She just got here, give her a minute before you pounce.”
Tessa looks over at Tristan and notices his rigid posture and tight jaw line. She saw this Tristan a few times at parties and thankfully didn’t see him go full cave man the night that he was arrested, and she suddenly feels uncomfortable as the two men size each other up.
“I don’t mean any harm,” Alex says, flashing Tessa another smile. “Do you want a tour of the grounds? I can show you where we practice and our locker room and all of that.”
“I got it,” Tristan says, cutting off Alex before he can say more.
Alex squints at Tristan and cocks his head to the side, and the two of them look like they’re having some kind of secret conversation with their eyes. Tessa rolls her eyes and huffs, annoyed with their weird macho behavior.
“You got it?” Alex repeats.
“Yes,” Tristan responds tightly. “Tessa and I went to school together at Vanderbilt. I haven’t seen her in a while, and I’d like to catch up with her. So, I’ve got it.”
Tessa wonders why Tristan feels like he has to over explain himself to his teammate, and watches as Alex nods with a look on his face that she can’t quite place.
“If you say so,” he says, backing away, “Nice to meet you, Tessa. I’ll see you around.”
“Bye,” she says, giving him a small wave before turning back to Tristan.
“What was that all about?” She asks.
“What?” He says with a shoulder shrug, as if there was nothing weird about that interaction. “You don’t want me to be the one to show you around?”
There’s that smug but irresistible charm that just radiates from him. Tessa remembers it so well, and she feels both annoyed yet oddly comforted by it at the same time. Something about it makes her feel happy, to know he’s got some of the same traits that he did all those years ago.
“You can show me around,” she answers with a shrug, trying to seem unaffected.
“Follow me, Miss Smith.”
She shakes her head and laughs but does exactly as he says and follows him as he guides her around the grounds of the stadium.
He takes his time walking and talking with her, lingering on certain spots a bit longer than necessary so that he can stop and get a good look at her.
Her eyes are curious and introspective as they walk along, and he can tell by the intense way she stares at him when he talks that she’s listening to every word.
He shows her the practice field, the locker rooms, the building with the personal trainers and admin offices, and then he ends with bringing her to the main field.
It’s not lost on her how similar this is from the night 10 years ago when he brought her onto the field at Vanderbilt. She had been in awe even then at how big the field was and the stands, but there was no comparing to the size of this stadium.
“This is huge!” She says with a gasp as she walks onto the field, swiveling her head around to try to understand the sheer size of this place.
“Yeah it is, and this place gets packed, completely filled up with people. I can’t even explain to you how loud it gets in here.”
“Wow,” she says breathlessly, noticing how small they both seem in the middle of such a huge stadium. “You must love every second.”
He watches her as she says this, her smile small but the look in her eyes tells him that she’s remembering the time they spent together when they were young, and that she’s remembering how much he loved it then, and how much he must love it now.
“It’s the best thing in the world. I don’t know how I got this lucky.”
There’s a heavy silence that happens between them now, a silence that is filled with unspoken words, unanswered questions, and the heartbreaking reality that this was all almost taken away from Tristan.
Tessa’s eyes are glued to the turf and Tristan scratches the back of his neck nervously, unsure how to proceed with the conversation now that it turned awkward and tense.
“Tessa, there’s so much I want to say-” he breaks the silence between them, but she quickly shakes her head and takes a step back from him, and a defeated sigh breaks from his lips as he watches her back away; running, again.
“I don’t think I want to do that right now, Tristan,” she says, rushing the words out so she doesn’t second guess herself and holds them back.
“I just got here and it’s very overwhelming.
Having our paths cross like this is a lot to process, and the bottom line is that I came here because I have a job to do. Let’s just leave it at that.”
She starts to back away, but he follows her movement.
“Okay, I understand,” he says with a nod. “Do you think we could talk though? At some point?”
She sighs and shakes her head, still backing away, and his movement stills when she shakes her head no.
“I don’t know, Trist. Let’s just worry about our jobs. You focus on football, I’ll focus on my assignment, and hopefully it all goes by quickly.”
She turns and walks out of the stadium, her heart feeling like it’s being twisted – an agonizing feeling she hasn’t experienced since the day she decided to leave him; to leave him for his own sake.
And before she walks out of the stadium, she turns to take one more look at him, standing in the middle of the field, one of his jerseys hanging from a rafter in the nosebleeds, and her heart hurts a little bit less.
He wouldn’t have had this if she stayed; if she let him continue to focus on her and make bad decisions because of her.
And although she still feels the deep cracks of the heart break, she feels a small part of herself heal.
She felt it that day she watched him get drafted on the small TV in her college apartment at Texas Tech, and she’s feeling it again now, seeing him in all his glory in the stadium that practically worships him.
Later that evening, Tessa was busy setting up two plate settings at her small dining room table in her condo, waiting for her guest to arrive. She set up the plates, glasses of wine, and put the takeout Chinese food and chopsticks in the center of the table.
She felt tired deep in her bones; an exhaustion that wasn’t from any kind of physical exertion, but emotional.
Seeing Tristan again was both easier and harder than she thought it would be.
She had thought their conversation would be awkward, but of course, their chemistry was palpable from the first moment they said hello, the way in which he said her name and spoke to her as if she held the moon made her stomach twist with butterflies.
But things had also turned heavy, and fast, which is also on brand for them.
That’s what happened 10 years ago. It was such an intense flash of chemistry, emotion, love, obsession, lust…
anything and everything they could possibly feel they felt in the short time they knew each other.
And just as quickly as it ignited like white lightning, it was snuffed out with drama, bad decisions, emotional immaturity, and irreversible consequences.
Tessa took a deep breath as she finished setting up the dinner scene and moved her neck from side to side, trying to release some of the tension from the day.