Chapter 49
Cole
“That’s great Saul, really,” I smile into the phone, happy that at least one thing is going right. “Yes, I’ll draw up the contracts for you this afternoon.”
“No, no,” Saul’s baritone laugh fills my ears. “It can wait until tomorrow. Josie would have my head if she knew I even called you on a Sunday. I’m on a golf trip with our son and she told me no work this weekend, but when I got Josh’s text this morning, I was too excited to wait.”
I laugh too, though in truth his words make me feel a bit hollow. I’ve known Saul for almost two years now, and I’ve always seen him as a levelheaded, stern businessman. One who puts his work first and expects others to do the same. Just like my dad. Sure, I’d seen Saul dote on Josie at various events, but I always thought he did that for show. Now, thanks to Lydia, I’m getting to know Saul on a more personal level, and it’s challenging me to examine my own way of thinking.
“Cole?” Lydia’s voice carries down the hall to where I’m working in my office, and I push back from my chair to greet her. “There you are.” She smiles at me as we meet in the doorway. Her smile takes my breath away, and I lose my focus for a second staring at her. I’ve missed her this week.
“You okay?” Her smile dips. “Did you eat this morning?”
Annoyance flares up inside me. “Yes, I ate.” The words come out like a snap, and hurt flashes across her features. “Sorry.” I sigh, frustrated with myself. My eyes land on the Bible encircled in her arms, and I remember waking this morning to find her gone, a granola bar and a glass of juice perched on the bedside table next to a note from her saying she hadn’t wanted to wake me. “How was church?” I latch onto the subject, trying to brush over the fact that I can’t handle that I’m an invalid she feels obligated to take care of.
Her posture relaxes slightly, and her smile reappears. “It was…” she searches for a word, “life-changing.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Wow.”
“Sorry I didn’t wake you,” she rushes on, “I just thought, well, you’ve been working so much…” she trails off, avoiding my gaze. “I’d love for you to come next week.”
This is all wrong. Our conversation feels stilted and unnatural. I want to go back to the day I fainted, when I kissed her in the hallway without abandon, when I was ready to tell her I love her. Now saying those words to her would feel like extending my burden to her. I have to get myself together so I can be worthy of her. If part of that means going to church because she wants me to, then I’ll go.
“Uh, yeah,” I nod, forcing myself to sound enthusiastic. “I’ll go next week.”
“Great.” Her smile is all sunshine again. “Oh, guess what? I ran into Saul’s wife there. I had no idea they attended my church.”
“Really?” This takes me by surprise. First it turns out Saul isn’t as much of a workaholic as I thought; now I find out he goes to church? Do I know the man at all?
“Yeah.” She nods, then stands on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek, before turning to go. “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to work.”
“Lydia,” I call her name before she rounds the corner. She turns, her eyes hopeful. I wish I knew what she was hoping for; if I did, I’d do whatever it took to give it to her. “Speaking of Saul, Josh and Delia decided to take Saul up on his offer to invest in the Robin’s Nest.”
“Cole, that’s great!” Lydia grins. “That’s going to be such a great partnership. What will it mean for his merger with Benton Hotels though? Is that still having problems?”
I frown. “I don’t have a great feeling about that deal. Pat Benton, the owner, can’t seem to get over his cold feet. Saul wants us to take a trip over to their main headquarters in Traverse City later this week. He thinks doing some face-to-face business might be good. ”
“Oh.” Lydia nods. “Right. A trip to Traverse City.”
I can hear the anxiety in her voice, and I want to take my diabetes diagnosis and flush it down the toilet. I’m a grown man. I can handle traveling a few hours north.
“I’ll be fine, Lydia.”
“I know,” she blushes. “I just, well…Saul is Ashley’s client too, right? Will she, uh, be going on the trip?” She’s trying hard to sound nonchalant.
Relief floods through me. That’s what she’s worried about? “She won’t be coming,” I assure Lydia. “I’ve actually decided to avoid working with her when I can. I don’t think she’s the sort of partner I want to have anymore.” A spurt of guilt tweaks my insides. I haven’t told Lydia about what happened with Ashley in the elevator or about my proposal to her so many months ago. I push the guilt away, though. Now isn’t the time. Not when I feel like a disappointment to Lydia in so many other ways.
“Wow, that’s a big change.” What looks like pleasure flashes across Lydia’s face, but it’s there and gone in an instant. She leans her head against the door jamb. “Well, I’m going to eat some lunch. Do you want to join me?”
I open my mouth to say yes, but I’m interrupted by the ringing of my phone. This time it’s Harrison. I look at Lydia apologetically. “I should take this,” I tell her.
“Oh, sure. Of course.” She nods. “How about I just bring you something then?”
“Yeah, sounds good,” I agree. There’s a stilted pause, then my phone rings again, somehow even louder this time. “I’d better, you know…” I gesture to the phone.
“Of course,” she says again, then swivels on her heels and out of the room. As I answer the call, worry churns in my gut. When did my life get so out of control?