Chapter Twenty-Eight
landon
My eyes were closed. My breathing was slow and rhythmic.
My mind… My mind was another matter. I’d disappointed Janae, and I didn’t know quite how I had. It had appeared she was having the time of her life. I thought everything with Janae was good. She’d had a moment, and it passed. She’d even seemed cool with the photo in the car last night. I’d thought she would’ve loved either photo as a cover because she’d taken them. I didn’t think to defend her because I’d never had to consider someone else’s feelings outside of mine and the band’s. I also didn’t want to approach the band on her behalf again. I needed to keep the two separate.
Her stillness as time passed concerned me. Janae moved almost constantly, even when we were in bed together. We both needed to rest. I got up, walked to my closet, and chose two of my hoodies. I pulled leggings from the suitcase she had yet to unpack, though I’d told her she could consider my closet as hers, and pulled on basketball shorts.
I walked back out and kneeled beside her. Tears streaked her beautiful cheeks, and my heart clenched. She opened her eyes, and I said, “Come be quiet with me.”
She nodded. I stood and passed her the clothes. When she’d dressed, I held my arm out for her to hold, and we left my home. She leaned on me, and we walked in the early morning darkness. The sun had yet to rise. Harlem was strangely silent, and we were like the only inhabitants of the city. We walked down the concrete steps and hopped on a train. I wrapped my arm around her, and she rested her head on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head, and soon, she drifted to sleep.
I’d made her cry, and that pained me. I didn’t think I was capable of handling such an emotion from a woman. I understood anger, irritation, indifference, and annoyance. Sadness was different. She’d been smiling this entire time, even when she wasn’t happy. She’d never expressed sadness until last night. We both should’ve been ecstatic, because our song had done something songs just didn’t do . Instead, we were on the train, exhausted and sad.
The sun warmed my skin, and other people got on the train on their morning commutes before I gently shook her shoulders. She squinted in the sun, looked up at me, and gave me the most glorious smile. “Landon, you’re not wearing your hat.”
Self-consciously, I rubbed the neat cornrows she’d made of my hair. “I forgot.”
“You never forget.”
“Lately, I have. Guess my concern for you outweighed my need to wear it.” I focused on her beautiful face. The freckles across her nose and cheeks were more prominent in the sun.
She giggled. “I bet you’re fighting hard not to pull your hoodie over your head now.”
I admired her. “Naw… looking at you is enough.”
Her eyes watered. “Did you sleep?”
I shook my head. “Someone had to make sure Candyman didn’t come get us.”
She laughed. “Candyman is in Chicago.”
I pulled out my phone, pressed my head to hers, and took a selfie. “This is us after the biggest day of our careers. Exhausted, happy, and in love.”
Janae glanced at me and then at the photo. “We are in love, aren’t we?”
“I hope so, because I don’t want to be out here alone anymore.”
She blinked back tears. “How do you know to say exactly what I need you to say?”
“No idea.” I slunk down in my seat. “I just know I don’t want to be the one who makes you cry. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t know why you’re sorry.”
“That may be, but I apologize for not getting how I hurt you.”
She shifted and leaned against the window as she looked at me. “That part.”
“What?”
“I can’t explain everything to you.”
“Why not? We’re still getting to know each other. From what I can tell about people, especially women, we will always be learning each other. Remember the day at the airport in New Orleans? I said I didn’t know how I could do this. I meant to keep the lines drawn between you and Hollow Bones. I want to be with you, and I want to support your career, but I can’t take sides against my band. Not even for you.”
She nodded. “I get that. It’s hard sometimes to be with a man who gets so into his music that nothing and no one else matters. Your phone is off or on silent for hours.”
“And once you really start grinding on your next album, you’ll be the same way.”
“Umm… not quite. I’m more like the guys. In breaks, they’re on the phone, talking and texting, taking a moment for themselves. I see how you’re singularly focused.”
“Kind of hard not to be when I had nothing but music for years. I’m not like the others. I don’t have family or women checking for me. The guys are my friends and my family.”
“I’m both now, too.”
I tapped her nose. “Yep. And now you. I’ll do better about communicating when I’m in the studio.”
“And I’ll do better about explaining myself and not expecting you just to get it.”
“Thank you.” I raised my brows. “Are we done talking now?”
She shook her head ruefully before pulling her phone from her hoodie’s front pocket. “I need to talk to Del and ask him why he didn’t consult with me about the cover.”
I whistled softly. “I’m staying out of it, okay? That’s between you and him.”
“Understood.” Janae smiled before focusing on her cell.
“Excuse me?” We looked up to a group of teens dressed in uniforms crowding the space around us. “Aren’t you Janae and Landon?
Janae chuckled. “Landon Hayes of The Hollow Bones and Janae Warner.”
“Yes… I thought that was Landon without his hat,” said the girl who spoke for the group. “Can we take a picture?”
I inhaled and exhaled. Before I could do it, Janae pulled my hood on top of my head and said, “Yes.”
By the time we made it back to my stop, we’d attracted a crowd of fans taking pics with us. I smiled and waved and allowed Janae to do most of the talking. She pulled on her hoodie, and we hurried out of the train station and back to my house, laughing all the way.
Once we slammed the door to my home, all that energy turned into sexual hunger. Our clothes were discarded within seconds, and I had her pressed up against the wall. My mouth and hands were everywhere, rough and tugging at her hair and her breasts while I tongued her down. Although she wanted to throw caution to the wind, I grabbed a condom from a kitchen drawer while she toyed with herself.
As soon as I protected us, I thrust deep inside of her with a fierceness and power she relished, if her loud moans were any indication. Janae held on tight as I pounded and pounded. Her ass knocked violently against the wall.
When I began to twist from the inside out, overcome with sexual tension in desperate need of release, without breaking contact or my rhythm, I lowered us to the floor, and we made love as if our lives depended on it in the foyer of my brownstone. Only the carpeted runner shielded us from the rigid and cold marble floors as we celebrated our success with our undeniable passion.
After we showered, I collapsed in bed for a couple of hours before returning to the studio. I chuckled as I fell asleep to Janae cursing out Del on the phone.
When I woke up, the room was dim except for the soft glow of a lamp she had moved closer to the floor. Janae sat on the carpet, a torn-open box in front of her, carefully pulling out plastic bags filled with small pieces.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up. “What are you doing?”
She glanced up with a smirk. “Setting up a project.”
As I swung my legs over the side of the bed, I got a better look at the LEGO Millennium Falcon box. Several instruction booklets lay beside her, and unopened bags of bricks were scattered around her.
“That’s not just a project. That’s an undertaking.”
She shrugged. “I saw it while I was out and figured, why not? I used to do puzzles to clear my head, but this seemed more fun. I know you like Star Wars , so I thought we could work on it together.”
I moved off the bed and onto the floor beside her, rubbing my face as I blinked away the last traces of sleep. “You realize this thing can take days to build?”
Janae grinned and ripped open the first bag. “Good thing we don’t have to rush.”
I picked up a few pieces, rolling them between my fingers. “You ever build one of these before?”
She shook her head. “Nope. But I figure it’s like anything else. One piece at a time.”
I nodded and grabbed an instruction booklet. “You want to start with the frame?”
She exhaled, rubbing her hands together. “Let’s do this.”
We sorted through the pieces, scanning for the ones we needed first. She reached for a gray one at the same time I did, our fingers brushing for a second before she let me take it.
“We decided on two versions of the cover. One with you, and one with the pic you took of me looking at myself in the mirror. I take pictures of myself all the time, but that one of me… it hit different. Something about the way you captured me… I don’t know why, but when I saw it, I didn’t want to look away.”
I clicked a piece onto the base of the Falcon and looked at her. “Maybe because, for once, you saw yourself the way I do.”
Janae met my gaze for a moment before nudging the instruction booklet toward me. “Think you can keep up, or is this too advanced for a musician?”
I chuckled, scanning the next step. “We’ll see.”
We worked in companionable silence, sorting pieces, clicking them into place, and occasionally double-checking the instructions. The room felt warm, the soft rustle of shifting bricks and the quiet sound of our movements filling the space.
Janae stretched her legs out and sighed. “I like this. It’s nice to build something that doesn’t fight back.”
I glanced at her, recognizing the weight behind her words. “Yeah. It is.”