Chapter Twelve
Em
EM STOOD IN HER robe at the mirror in the bathroom, applying the last touches to her makeup while Lennon sifted through Em’s clothes.
“Where is that cute sundress with the little pink bows all over it—the one that shows your legs and cleavage?" Lennon turned from the closet door. “I can’t find it here. That’s the one I want you to wear.”
Em blinked, the mascara she was applying leaving a black smudge across her lid. She sighed, grabbing a cotton pad, dampening it before blotting at the spot.
“I think I washed it. It’s over there on the chair,” she answered.
Em was nervous. After everything with Shae and Claire, Em had taken it upon herself to reach out to Luna.
The two caught up about work and ultimately agreed to a sort of date.
She didn’t exactly want to call it that, yet here she was preparing for it.
She was still on call for the next few hours, but Luna said she didn’t mind.
Lennon shuffled over to the chair, throwing everything off to the side until she found the dress she was looking for.
“Yes. Here it is.” She paused in front of Em, her hands on her hips. “What are you doing? Omg, you haven’t even done your hair. You have to leave in like—” She glanced up at the clock on Em’s nightstand. “Thirty minutes. That barely gives me enough time to complete this look for you.”
Lennon grabbed a hanger from the closet and hung the dress on the shower door. Coming to stand behind Em. “Ok, what are we doing with your hair?”
Everyone was out by the pool when Em took off, all but Shae, who was away from the house, rowing.
“Have fun! I mean it!” Lennon stressed, holding the keys to her SUV above her head. “Promise me.”
“I promise,” Em said, and Lennon dropped the keys down into her hand.
Em didn’t know exactly where she was going; she only knew she was meeting Luna outside a place called Swoon. The name itself raised her blood pressure. If it was any indication of Luna’s expectations for the evening, it was a bit presumptuous.
She parked down the street and strolled up.
The sidewalk was dotted with white wrought-iron bistro tables beneath a faded pink-and-white striped awning.
Jibaro music drifted through the open door along with a sweet scent.
A warm feeling settled over her, like early mornings before the world fully woke.
She stepped inside to see people perched on pink-cushioned chrome stools lining a teal-green counter where staff shuffled around, scooping vibrant swirls of ice cream into freshly pressed waffle cones. The air was sugar-laced and buzzing with joy and easy conversation.
“There you are.” She heard from behind her.
Luna strolled toward her with unmistakable confidence.
Her long black hair fell in loose waves down her back and over her shoulder, catching light in soft, inky strands.
Her hazel eyes, kind and shifting somewhere between brown and gold, took Em in, sweeping over her with careful appreciation, causing a flush to creep onto Em’s cheeks.
She leaned in, wrapping her arms around Em in a comfortable embrace. Her full lips pillowed Em’s cheek before pulling away, casual, but it still caught her off guard.
“I thought we’d do things a little differently. I didn’t want to spoil dessert. So, figured we’d skip to the good part.”
Em giggled, “This is good. A great idea, sugar first.”
“Hey, I’m just trying to show you my sweet side.”
“Well, this is a great start.” Em smiled down at her feet.
Luna’s mouth tipped up into a grin, and she gestured toward the counter. “Come with me, you don’t get the full experience if you don’t try all the flavors.”
Luna took her hand, leading them back behind the counter. Em moved unsteadily as they passed staff members stepping forward out of her way. Luna handed Em an apron and washed her hands at the sink.
“Hey, Charlie,” she called to a blonde-haired guy pouring batter into a waffle cone iron. “Cone me?”
Em smiled awkwardly over at the customers on the other side of the counter, not exactly fully aware of what was happening.
“You work here?” she said quietly over Luna’s shoulder.
“Ha.” Luna glanced back at her. “Yeah,” she said lightheartedly, ‘cause it’s mine.” There was something in the way she said this. More like pride than performance. She wasn’t bragging; it wasn’t her style.
“Wait. This is yours?”
Em took the place in. It was so colorful and whimsical.
Kind of like the little Barbie cafe she used to have when she was younger, it was her favorite.
But Luna wasn’t super feminine, tomboy femme, maybe, not that she had to be.
Em just didn’t expect anything this cutesy coming from her. It was a lovely surprise.
“So pick your poison.” Luna’s hand swooped across the ice cream cooler before grabbing a scooper.
Em turned toward the display case, rows of pastel and jewel-toned ice creams swirled into soft peaks behind the glass. She bent slightly, scanning the flavors.
She could feel Luna beside her, close but not crowding her. Not talking, just… watching.
“I feel like there’s pressure here,” Em said. “Like my choice says something about me.”
Luna huffed out a quiet laugh. “It does.”
“Well, that’s not fair.” Em lifted her hands to her hips.
“Do you want something in return?” Luna cocked a brow. “You’re already getting your choice of any flavor of the best Puerto Rican-inspired ice cream in all of Massachusetts."
Em grinned and turned to look at her. “Cocky much?”
Luna lowered her head, hiding a smirk. “Here, I’ll help you out. What do you usually go for?”
“Hmmm…” a thought slipped in uninvited that she ignored, her and Shae’s favorite… moose tracks. “Peanut butter and chocolate,” she answered.
“Yeah, I don’t got that. So we’ll go for a customer favorite, Guava cream.” She tapped Em’s shoulder with her own. “Good choice, by the way, the guava is fresh.”
“But… you chose it.” Em chuckled.
“Say that once you’ve tasted it.” She handed it over to Em and then scooped herself up the same flavor.
They took their cones outside and settled at one of the bistro tables. The sun was starting to sink lower now. A calm settled over the town. She loved the way Chatham looked at this time of day, the way it felt—quiet and carefree.
Em tasted her ice cream, her eyes widening slightly. “Okay, wait, that’s actually phenomenal!"
Luna leaned back in her chair, watching her reaction instead of eating her own. “Told you.”
“No, you didn’t.” Em giggled. “You let me panic.”
Luna shrugged.
“So, how long has this place been open for business? I don’t recall ever seeing it before, and I used to come here a lot.”
“This is our third year, for this one, but one year for El Faro Boricua.” She pointed at a restaurant behind Swoon.
“Wait, you own that too?”
“Yeah. Umm, my mom started that one. “She passed a little over a year ago, and now it’s mine.
“Wow,” Em said. “Sorry to hear about that, that's hard.”
“Yeah, it was, but it was harder watching her sick. Anyhow, enough about me. You hungry?
“Not anymore.”
“Okay. Walk?”
The two drifted toward the water, the sound of the waves pulling at Em. The ocean always made her think of the beach house, which, of course, dragged her mind elsewhere. They both stopped at the edge of the boardwalk, toeing off their shoes before stepping out onto the cool sand.
The tide rolled in slowly, pushing driftwood further up on the shore. The amber horizon stretched out in front of them, what was left of the sun, tucking behind a cloud.
They drifted to a stop near the waterline. Luna lowered herself onto the sand, leaning back on her palms, and Em folded herself down beside her.
“So, now I'm wondering.” Em spoke. “If you have these businesses, why Harbor Light?”
“Yeah, it seems like a lot, huh?” she mused.
“It was difficult for me to come out. My mom was not okay with it,” she said, glancing over at Em.
I reached out to Harbor Light in my youth, and I have wanted to be part of it ever since.
So yeah, I volunteer, and I love it. Most rewarding thing I do. How about you?”
“I went to school for psychology. So, there’s that, but also, I had a… friend who struggled coming out. That was the biggest reason for me.”
“A friend?” Luna teased. “Sounds like more to that story.”
“Yeah, it was pretty complicated, still is, I guess.”
“Ahh, one of those. Wanna talk about it?” Luna looked fixedly over at her, her face soft and inviting. “Feels like something holds you back is all so, just curious if that’s why.”
A slow, uneasy laugh rolled out of Em. She tucked her legs beneath her, scooping up a pile of sand. How did Shae find her way into every conversation?
Luna sensed her unease. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but you can.”
Em held comfortable eye contact with Luna. “Her name is Shae.” She started, “We have a pretty complex history. I kinda came here this summer to figure things out with her, and it’s not going so well.”
“Ahh, makes sense.”
“She didn’t even know I’d be staying here, and turns out she’s interested in someone else who’s staying at the house. So, yeah—”
“So this is your attempt to move on.”
“No, I—it’s not like that. I—”
“Hey, it’s all good. I was just teasing ya.
I know how it is, I’ve dated women before, believe it or not.
” She winked over at Em. “It wasn’t that long ago that I was in a pretty complicated relationship, myself.
She crushed me. Just now getting back into the dating scene.
” Luna cast Em a glance. “You still have feelings for her?”
Em let that question marinate as she drew pictures in the sand, grazing her hand over it, erasing them and starting over. “I probably always will, but at some point I’ve gotta figure out a way to let go.”
“Well, if you ever wanna get outta there. I know a cute little restaurant and ice cream parlor down the way. I hear the owner is a pretty good listener.” Luna shook her head. “Aren’t we a trope, chatting about our exes on our first date?”
“Em let out an easy laugh, “Truly,” she agreed, placing a hand on her arm. “Thanks, Luna.”
“Hey, anytime,” Luna said, covering Em’s hand with her own.
Em sat at the bench at the edge of the beach, lacing up her Sambas, preparing to head back to the house when her phone buzzed.
She blinked down at it, not a text, a call. Em crossed the street and unlocked the car door, sliding behind the wheel. She only had five minutes left of her shift, but she accepted the call.
“Harbor Light, I’m here with you,” she answered.
“Uh, hi.” A small, wavering voice said. “I don’t even know—I just needed to talk to someone,” she stalled. “Someone who doesn’t know me.”
“I’m here,” Em said softly. “I’m here with you. What’s going on?”
“I think I’m sort of in love with someone. It’s—she’s a girl. She’s my best friend. I think she feels the same. We have moments, but I’m afraid to know for sure.”
“You’re okay. It’s okay to feel unsure. That’s valid. It’s normal.”
“It doesn’t feel normal.” The girl went quiet. “Thing is,” she continued. “I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s all the time. I want to just… I don’t know. I think about her in that way, you know?”
She paused, and for a second Em thought she’d hung up, then she continued her tone more unsettled.
“But I can’t do anything about it. And I could. I think she would. I think she loves me the same way. But I can’t. I can’t be gay. I don’t want to be. I just want to be like everyone else I know. And I pray, I pray all the time that it goes away, and it won’t. It just gets stronger, I—”
“Hey, hey, hey. Take a deep breath with me, okay. Let's slow down together,” Em said calmly.
The voice on the other side was quiet.
“Ready?” Em steadied herself, allowing her head to relax back against the headrest.
“Yeah,” the girl said. Em could hear the girl's shaky exhale from the other side of the line.
“Deep breath. Now hold it.” Em began to count. “Five… four… three...”
All the feelings rushed in from her younger years with Shae.
Em knew what it was like to be a friend to someone young and struggling to feel comfortable in her own skin.
She had always been the one leaning in, while Shae pulled away from her.
Thinking about it now made her want to wrap her arms around a younger Shae and let her know it was going to be okay.
That she wasn’t alone. That she saw her, she understood.
Even back then, she never told her that, and maybe it would have made a difference.
“There’s not one single road map to figuring out who you are or who you love. Everyone’s path is different. You’re being honest with yourself about it. That’s a start. That matters. Every step does, no matter how small.”
“What should I do?” What happens if I want to kiss her or do other stuff?”
“Well, that’s a great question,” Em said. “And only one you can decide. I can tell you, though, that the more you communicate these feelings, the easier it gets. Can you start by sharing with her one thing about how you feel? Are you comfortable with that?”
“I want to. I think so. I’m just… scared.”
“It’s okay to be scared. You’re safe here. Talk as long as you want.”
A grateful squeak came through the line. “Thank you.”
Em let her talk and held with her all the way through it. Shae used to do that for her, which made Em wonder now about all the things that must have been going through her young mind.
Once the call ended and the line went quiet, Em’s heart lifted beyond what felt physically possible—like she’d just received a gift she hadn’t known she’d been waiting for.