Chapter Twenty
Shae
SHAE WOKE TO A tap on her door. “Shae, psst.” Lennon cracked it open a sliver, peering in.
Shae blinked up at her, jerking the blanket up to cover herself, still undressed from last night. Lennon smirked, looking at the clothes strewn across the floor.
“What, Len?” Shae whispered.
Em stirred next to her, lifting her head slightly, squinting over to the door at Lennon. Lennon winked at her. Em turned, smiling into her pillow.
“Mom said if you don’t show up downstairs in ten, she’s coming up here herself.
She made breakfast, and I’m pretty sure you don’t want her just walking in here because,” Lennon swept her hand out in a grand arc, gesturing toward the clothes scattered across the floor like evidence.
“Judgment and pancakes with June is never a great combination.”
Lennon swung the door shut, and her voice rang out from the hallway as she headed down the stairs. “They're getting ready, Mom. They’ll be down in a bit."
Shae smiled over at Em, who was squinting at her with one eye. Shae rolled over on top of her, wrapping her arms around her and tucking her legs up under Em’s, fully embracing her. Em raked her fingers up and down Shae’s back, planting kisses against her hair.
“You ready for some of June’s pancakes?” Shae asked, propping herself up on one elbow.
Shae leaned over, kissing Em’s cheek right at the spot where her dimple kept peeking out, tracing her fingers down the side of Em’s face until they reached her chin, tipping it up into a gentle kiss.
Em chased it, but Shae was already pulling herself up.
Shae tisked, “June is waiting. If I get in trouble, I’ll blame you.”
Em laughed, “I wouldn’t put it past you.”
“No, don’t put it past me. I’m telling you now, I’ll blame you.
” Shae bounced off the side of the bed, retrieving her pants from her bag and tugging them up over her waist. She collected her t-shirt from last night off the floor and flung it on before offering Em a hand to help her up.
Em took it, pulling Shae back on top of her, trapping her in a prison of limbs.
“I’m getting my kiss,” she said, grinning.
By the time they made their way downstairs, everyone had already dished up.
The sweet smell of maple syrup and coffee filled the room.
The island was buried in breakfast platters of bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes, and fruit.
Champagne glasses were lined up next to an array of juices.
Golden morning light spilled through the windows, creating a soft glow that warmed the space.
“Well, well, well… Look who decided to grace us,” June said, heading toward them.
“Emmaline, come give me a hug, doll. Did our Shae deflower you last night?”
“Mom,” Shae interjected, throwing her hands out before resting them anxiously atop her head.
“Look, she’s a bad influence,” She threw a wink in Shae’s direction. Just letting you know now,” she said, embracing Em with quick taps to her back.
Em’s blue eyes widened at Shae over June's shoulder as she bit back a laugh. June squeezed her once more before releasing her. Then tapped Shae on the arm as she passed by, headed for the coffee machine. Shae shrugged over at Em.
Em’s face flushed fluorescent pink, which Shae found incredibly endearing. She grinned at her, nudging her with her elbow, then wrapped her arm around her shoulders, pulling her in.
“You’re giving yourself away, you know. Don’t let June see,” she said into her ear. “You’ll add more fuel to her fire.”
June came back over carrying two mugs, “Ok, girls—no secrets! Here.” She handed them both cups of coffee, steam drifting off the tops like miniature ghosts. “You look like you need it. Em, you don’t need to be embarrassed,” she said, walking away. “It’s a normal part of life!”
Em tucked her face into the crook of Shae’s neck, shoulders shaking in laughter. “Careful now,” Shae said, “You’ll spill your coffee.”
They both dished up, joining everyone at the table. Em sat between Shae and Lennon.
“Seth here was telling me everything you all have been getting up to so far this summer. Sounds like you guys are having a good time out there. I’m happy for ya.” June paused, taking the final bite of her pancake. “You guys heading back today?”
“Yes,” Lennon said. “Claire and Seth are leaving in less than a week. After the Fourth of July. So… we want to get as much time in as we can.”
“Okay. What do you guys have planned for the Fourth?" June was sitting back in her seat, legs crossed. Her coffee hung in anticipation in front of her face as she picked crumbs off the table, sprinkling them back onto her plate with her other hand.
“Probably go to a beach party, watch the fireworks. The normal stuff,” Lennon answered.
Shae tucked her hand beneath the table, resting it on Em’s knee.
Em covered it with her own, threading their fingers together, glancing briefly at Shae—a knowing smile flashing across her face, saying more than any words could.
A warmth wrapped around Shae. In this moment, everything was perfect, as though a missing piece of her had found its way home.
Em immersed herself in conversation at the table. She was so attentive to everyone, so kind. Something Shae had always loved about her. Em had always fit in well with her family. It was as though she were meant to be a part of their lives.
After breakfast and some much-needed time together, everyone agreed it was time to head out.
Shae threw her backpack into the backseat and headed back over to her parents, giving them goodbye hugs.
Lennon was already pulling away, Seth and Brodie in tow, on their way to pick up Claire from Natalie’s apartment.
Em had chosen to drive back to the beach house with Shae. She tucked herself into the front seat and rolled her window down as Shae plopped into the driver's seat.
“You girls be good to each other now,” June said, leaning through the driver's side window. “Em, don’t take any shit from this one,” she said, winking.
“What? Why’s it always me?” Shae protested.
June tapped her shoulder, giving it a quick rub. “I love you. Drive safe.” She stepped aside, and Greg leaned in, planting a kiss on her cheek.
“We love you too, Em,” Greg called over to her.
“Ahh, love you guys.” Em placed her hand to her chest, brows furrowed as Shae pulled out from the curb, waving and blowing kisses to her parents.
As they headed off down the road, Em leaned her seat back, preparing for the long drive. She kicked off her shoes and let them fall to the floorboard with a soft thump as she propped her feet up on the dash.
“If June saw you doing that right now, you’d totally get the speech.”
“Yeah? What’s the speech?” Em asked, tucking her tongue against the side of her teeth.
“If we got into a car accident right now, you’d be squished like an accordion against the dash,” Shae said, in her best June impression.
Em giggled. “Wow, impressive!”
“Was it?” Shae quivered her eyebrows.
“Yeah, full-on mom vibes. I almost took my feet down.”
Shae picked up her phone, fiddling with it.
“Hmm, what would June say about you texting and driving?” Em quirked a brow, a smirk playing across her face.
“I’m not texting!” Shae dropped her phone back onto the console. “I’m trying to find a good music playlist for us.”
“Yeah? What’d you choose?” Em asked, reaching for Shae’s phone. Shae swatted her away. “Hey, stay on your side.”
“Oh, so we have sides now? Okay, I see how it is.” Em shifted her body toward Shae in her seat. “Remember when we used to drive like this? Windows down, music up, pretending we weren’t completely obsessed with each other?”
“I remember pretending a lot of things,” Shae said.
“I used to watch you from the back seat with Lennon. You and Kira acting so cool. Did you know I used to make up fake reasons to ride home with you?”
“Hmm, you mean you didn’t actually forget your charger four separate times?”
“Guilty.” Em gazed out Shae’s window as they passed by a stretch of water. “You always focused straight ahead. Even when I was staring at you,” she recalled.
“Maybe I was afraid if I looked at you, I’d give everything away.”
“Were you?” Em fixed her eyes on Shae. “What about now?” Em was staring, as if waiting for an answer, but she didn’t respond.
“Oh my goodness! What’s this song?” Em said, raising the volume. “Okay, this sounds like a song you would have used to seduce all those girls who came after me.”
“Ha,” Shae flashed a look in her direction. “Pretty sure I didn’t need to worry about seducing anyone with music.”
Em scoffed. “Ahh ha, cocky much?” Em picked up Shae’s phone. “Electric by Alina Baraz,” she read. “It screams candlelit, hands wandering, heavy-petting vibes. Don’t lie.”
“Heavy-petting, Em? Please never say those words in my presence again. Anyways, it's on a vibe playlist.” Shae chewed on her bottom lip. “Are you telling me it’s effective?”
“Mmhmm. You’re basically whispering, ‘come hither’ in Spotify language.”
There was a pause in their conversation; it was the first time since being back that Shae was at peace with their silence.
She fixed her eyes on Em, who sat gazing out the window.
Shae let her eyes drift over her features, her sharp jawline, pouty lips, and hair still tousled from sleep.
Shae’s hand flexed on the wheel. The heat from last night still buzzing under her skin, alive and aching.
“This could be a movie, you know?” Em broke the silence.
“You and I casting down the highway. First… whatever we are,” she glanced at Shae and away before she could catch her expression.
“Chaotic, yet irresistible. I’m just saying, if this were a movie, this would be the part where we awkwardly pretend nothing happened between us last night… or we’d make out at a red light.”
“Please. That’d ruin my indie film aesthetic. I’m going for slow burn, subtle tension, tragic yearning.”
“Well, congrats. You nailed the tragic part. Do I look properly yearn-worthy in this lighting?”
“You look like someone who stole my boxers and hasn’t given them back.”
“They’re mine now. That’s how imprinting works,” Em said, shrugging one shoulder.
Shae reached over, twining their fingers together.
“So, are you going to answer my question?” Em tilted her head toward Shae, wetting her lips.
“What’s the question? Did I miss something?”
“Are you still afraid to look at me?” Em was serious now, her voice coming out softer, like she was nervous to have to ask again.
“Now? …Hmm,” Shae tapped her thumb against the steering wheel. “Now, I can’t stop looking at you.” Shae’s eyes met Ems, and she raised their clasped hands to nudge Em’s chin.
A flush crept up Em’s chest, reaching her cheeks. “You trying to crash this car, Hemingway?”
“Depends. Are you going to climb over the console or wait until we’re parked to kiss me?”
“God, I hate you.”
Shae smirked, flashing her eyes at Em. “You’re literally glowing. Try again.”
Em’s energy pulled at Shae, wild and alive as the car cruised along the coastal road. The wind whispered through the cracked windows, and the fresh coastal air crept in.
Shae’s chest burned, like she was splitting open from the inside out.
She had so much she wanted to say that she'd held in. She didn’t even know where to begin; she only knew that she had no desire to be careful with her feelings around Em anymore.
She wanted to strip it all back, to lay down her facade and surrender everything for this woman sitting next to her.
Em was quiet now, her hand fidgeting with her earring. Her head rolled lazily across the headrest, her eyes finding Shae and staying there.
“Pull over.” Em’s voice was barely above a whisper.
“What?”
“Just… pull over. Please?” Fear set into Shae’s chest, wondering if she’d said something to upset her?
Shae swerved gently off onto a scenic overlook, tires crunching over the gravel. The car idled steadily for a few seconds before Shae threw it into park. Em reached over the console, unbuckling Shae’s seatbelt with focused intent.
“I can’t sit in this car pretending my body’s not still burning from last night.
I can’t look at you and not want to… do something about it.
” Em’s eyes had a look of desperation in them, a yearning that Shae couldn’t help but want to cure.
She reached over, pulling Em in, fast and hungry.
Their mouths collided, all lips and teeth and breathless noise.
Em clutched at Shae’s shirt, urging her closer over the console.
“You really just said ‘fuck it,’ huh?” Shae said against her lips.
“Took me four years, but yeah.”
Em smiled through their kiss, and Shae hooked her hand around Em’s hip—dragging her across the console, deepening it. Em straddled her, burying her hands in Shae’s hair.
“We’re in a car, Em,” Shae said, as Em slid a hand up Shae’s shirt, kneading her breast.
“Then drive faster next time,” Em panted against her ear, nipping at it.
“We should stop.”
“We should. Absolutely.” Em breathed into her mouth, but she didn’t stop. She went back in, lips pressing against Shae’s, rocking her hips against Shae’s lap.
Shae drew back, breaking the kiss, locking into Em’s stare. Em’s back was pressed against the steering wheel, her breath coming out hot and fast. Her lips, swollen and pink. God, if she wasn’t the most captivating woman Shae had ever seen. She could lose track of time staring into her eyes.
“Fuck it!” Shae said, clutching the back of Em’s head and smashing their mouths together.
Their tongues danced together, their mouths open in want.
The steering wheel pressed awkwardly into Em’s back as Shae slid her hand under the boxers Em had only just commandeered, already claiming them as her own, and sank inside her.
Em let out a low, guttural moan. She leaned over Shae, bracing herself against the driver's seat, and slipped her hand under the waistband of Shae’s sweatpants, sliding her fingers over her wet heat.
“Fuck!” Shae breathed, speeding up her movement between Em’s legs.
Em let out a high-pitched moan, her sex tightening around Shae’s fingers. Her body tensed and jerked as she exhaled shakily.
Shae’s release came behind hers, and Em’s mouth met Shae’s, kissing her through it.
She rested her forehead against Shae’s as their mouths pressed together, kissing with slow reverence.
The two of them stared into each other like they’d never looked away and kissed each other like they’d forgotten how not to.