Before
Em
EM STOOD ON THE front step of the Hemingways’ home, trying to strike up the courage to ring the bell.
The house curtains were closed, which made it feel distant. Like the world inside was more shut off from her now.
June stood there in a loose sweater and leggings, her silvering brown hair still slightly damp, a mug of coffee warming her hands.
“Oh,” she said gently. “Em. Lennon’s not home today. She’s out of town with her dad to tour the dorm at Mt. Holyoke.”
“I know. Umm, is… Is Shae here?” Em stuttered.
June hesitated, taking Em in. Then shook her head, her expression softening.
“She stayed over at a friend’s last night—Madison Queller,” she said carefully. “She isn’t back yet, hun.”
The words landed heavier than Em expected.
Her stomach sank, the image from the night before flashing in her mind—Shae’s hands all over Madison.
Touching her in the way she’d only touched Em.
Her lips danced up Madison’s neck until they were full-on kissing.
She’d seen it all too clearly, even in the dark.
She didn’t want to continue watching, but her eyes refused to look away.
“Oh,” Em shifted her weight, looking back toward her car, but not moving that direction.
June studied her for a moment, then gave her a loving smile.
“Do you want to come in, sweetie?” she asked.
Em hesitated, then stepped inside.
The house was quiet, harboring a calm that often exists in the late morning. June led her into the kitchen, setting her mug aside and pulling out a chair.
“Have a seat,” she said. “Coffee?”
“Umm, sure.” Em wasn’t much of a coffee drinker, but she was starting to get a taste for it.
She perched on the edge of the seat, her fingers twisting together in her lap.
June set a steaming mug in front of her and pulled out a chair, settling down into it.
“Cream and sugar are right here if you want ‘em.” She slid the carafe in Em’s direction.
Em poured some cream into her mug and took a drink, the liquid warming her throat.
“I saw her last night,” Em said, the words barely louder than the hum of the refrigerator. “With Madison. At the movies.” Em tucked her hair behind her ear. “I was with Elliot.”
June’s eyes softened.
Em let out a shaky breath. “I didn't say anything to her. I just… I wanted to come here today to clear things up before she leaves. There’s a lot I want to say that I don’t want to carry with me.”
June leaned back against the chair, one arm thrown loosely across the back of it. “Carry what, exactly?”
Em stared down at her hands, twisting at a ring there.
“I like her,” she said. “Kinda more than that. I think… I love her,” she said.
June didn’t look surprised. “You know,” June placed her coffee mug down on the table, her hand resting idly on the handle.
“Children think parents are stupid and that they don’t know what’s going on— but we do.”
She rose from her chair, crossed to the counter, and opened a pink box with ‘Donut Queen’ written across the top. She reached for a plate and, one by one, transferred the donuts onto it before returning to the table, sliding the plate toward Em.
“We see and know a lot more than you think. For instance,” She nudged at the plate once more, and Em chose a donut, taking a modest bite.
“I know my Shae loves you. I’ve also known how you’ve felt about her long before today. I think—” she said carefully, “That you might be one of the few people who really sees my daughter for who she is.”
Em beamed up at her.
June offered her a gentle, knowing smile. “Shae feels deeply. She just hasn’t quite learned how to understand what she’s feeling yet.”
“She chose Italy. She’s not going to New York, is she?”
“She’s not. She’ll be leaving in a few weeks.”
Em stared out the window, over the garden. “It feels stupid. All of this… and being mad at each other. We still haven’t talked. And now she’s leaving and—”
“And you’re sitting in my kitchen with a broken heart,” June finished softly.
That did it. Em laughed once, breathlessly. Her throat was tight, and a stinging began at the base of her nose as she struggled to fight back the tears. She scrubbed her hand over her face.
“I don’t want to make things messy for her,” she said. “I just wanted to be honest. With her… and myself, I guess.”
June rose and pressed her palm lightly to Em’s back.
“Sometimes,” she said, “loving someone in silence is its own kind of bravery.”
Em closed her eyes.
“She’s lucky,” June continued. “To have someone care about her the way you do.”
“I don’t want a love I can’t feel. The kind my parents have. I want something real.”
Em swiped a tear from her cheek.
“I just— I feel like I’ve messed everything up,” Em whimpered.
June squeezed her hand. “One day, Shae will see all of this more clearly.”
They sat there for a moment, allowing everything to settle.
“I should go,” Em said, concerned Shae might come home and find her there in tears.
She stood, her heart still aching, but steadier.
“Can I ask you a favor?” she said, turning toward June.
“Of course.”
“Don’t tell her I came,” she paused. “Please.”
June studied her for a moment, then nodded. “That’s yours to keep.”
Em managed a faint smile. “Thank you.”
She hesitated at the door, glancing back once.
June lifted her arms, and Em stepped into them, letting her wrap them around her.
She wiped her face once more, then stepped out into the sunlight, the door clicking softly shut behind her.