19. Blake
Blake
As I walk down the long white hallways winding through the hospital, they feel like a comforting embrace, a cleanse of the inner turmoil I have been experiencing since reconnecting with Luke.
I found a much needed reprieve in the silence with him.
I know he needed comfort, but really, he was comforting me.
He’s my friend, a connection that has meant more to me, on a more meaningful level than I ever realized.
A friendship I want to pursue, even though we will never materialize into something more.
Even if he is more than a friend to me, more than just April’s big brother who I have a crush on. So much more.
I know the only way forward with our friendship is to loop in April.
I have to be honest with her, because Luke and I cannot build a friendship based on lies.
Plus, I can’t lie to her. She’s my oldest friend.
I’ll see if he wants to get dinner and talk about how to go about it, decide how to bring this up to her. I grab my phone and send a text to him.
Me: Do you work Saturday night?
Luke: Miss me already?
Me: Want to get dinner?
Luke: Burgers at 7?
Me: Perfect!
A smile spreads across my face and just as quickly as it appears, my blood runs cold, and the smile is gone as I recognize the body walking towards me.
“What? What do you want?” I bark out in a bitter tone as Cash approaches.
“I saw you with Luke in the Cafeteria.” His reply is equally chilling.
I just stare at him, deciding acknowledging the obvious is not worth my time. I turn and walk away when he steps in my path.
“Does he know we hooked up?”
“Fuck off, Cash,” I mutter in distaste, continuing to move past him.
“You’re wasting your time with him. You know that right? Luke is not a guy who does no-strings arrangements. He’s the type of guy who’s looking for a wife, Blake. He wants someone he can take home to mom, and spend holidays with.”
His words sting, but I don’t let him see the way they penetrate the armor I’ve built around myself.
“Good thing I’ve already been all those things to him.
I know his mama well,” I point out, pushing into him.
“And we’ve spent many holidays together.
Don’t you dare try to tell me a goddamn thing about Lucas Jennings!
” I seethe, “I know my fucking worth, Cash. I’m very comfortable in my skin, and confidence is not something I’m lacking.
So, adjust your bruised ego and move the fuck on.
” This time I push past him and don’t stop until I get to my car.
The cool air invades my senses as I make my way through the parking lot, each breath a welcome reset.
When I close the door to my car and find myself alone in the comfort of my space, I laugh.
What the fuck did I ever see in him? A pretty face and the desire to have a love that can withstand any obstacle clearly clouded me.
There is no way in hell I will ever let someone like Cash diminish my self worth.
I pull out of the lot, leaving behind the weight of it all, setting my sights on the road ahead-one leading to the people who truly matter and my first day off work in longer than I can remember.