24. Blake
Blake
Luke: Hey, can I get a raincheck on dinner? My mom invited me over, and if I don’t go after being away for so long, it might break her heart.
Me: That would absolutely break her heart. She left me a message inviting me too. I’ll call her back and let her know I’m free.
Luke: I’m glad you’ll be there. Oh, I think I found the perfect book for us to read next if you want to.
Butterflies erupt in my stomach as I read the text from Luke.
There was a palpable shift between us the other day at the hospital, and then we had so much fun when we ran into each other at the thrift store, that I don’t really know how to move forward from here.
The butterflies are fleeting, quickly replaced as my stomach turns into knots, guilt completely consuming me. I have to talk to April.
Luke and I are flirting with the line drawn between us every time we’re together, getting dangerously close to crossing said line, and she needs to know what’s going on before something happens we can’t take back and it blows up in our faces.
Me: I would love to! But we have to tell April.
Luke: Tell her what, exactly?
Shit, he thinks I’m crazy.
Me: That we’re spending time together… without her. You know if she finds out before one of us tells her, she will lose her shit. She has very little cool, Luke.
Luke: ??You’re right, she’s a brat. I’ll mention it to her tonight.
Me: I did not say she was a brat! What’s the occasion? It’s been a while since your mom has invited me to dinner.
Luke: No occasion. I already told mom I ran into you, and she probably just misses you. Stop making this a thing.
The flutter in my chest from reading his text is now replaced by a heavy feeling. I’m so fucking stupid. To him, I’m just his little sister’s friend. I have to stop making it seem like it’s more than it really is when he keeps telling me it’s not.
Me: See you tonight.
I pick up the phone and dial Maggie’s number. It rings a few times before she answers.
“B, I’m so glad you called. Please tell me you are coming over tonight.” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Oh, good. It’s been too long since I’ve had all three of you home.” You can hear the pure joy in her response.
Home. The Jennings’ house was the closest thing I have to a childhood home, at least through my high school years. But, I’ve convinced myself those are all the memories of my “childhood” I need, happy ones, who cares if they only date back to 14.
I imagine the warmth coming over me is a natural reaction people have to going back home after a while away.
“I can’t wait, Maggie. See you tonight,” I confirm before hanging up.
I spent the rest of the day doing anything and everything to distract myself from the feelings I have swirling around inside me for Luke.
I’ve spent almost 6 hours working on ideas for my bar. My last shift was a fucking nightmare; nothing like a toxic work environment to light a fire under my ass to get started on this.
After I put my laptop on the charger, I move to my closet to get ready.
I decide it’s best to go with a more “natural” appearance tonight.
There is no need to look like I’m going out when I’m just hanging with family.
I opt for leggings and an oversized t-shirt big enough to hang off the shoulder, long socks and my fur lined clogs.
After I throw my hair up in a high ponytail, I pull a few pieces out around my face, and top it off with a shiny lip gloss instead of my usual red lip.
Aiming for comfort, I even take out my contacts and put my glasses on instead.
It’s spring in Vermont, and the air has a cool bite to it at night, so I grab a cardigan to throw on if it gets too cold.
The drive to the Jenning’s house is longer than I prefer to travel, but the scenery makes it all worth it.
There are maple trees in full bloom lining the road leading into their neighborhood, and every house seems to be adorned with tulips and irises.
Their house is about 45 minutes from Cedar Creek where I live, and it looks like a different world with rolling hills, natural plush flowerbeds, and maple trees as far as you can see.
I pull into the driveway just behind April, and my shoulders tense almost immediately, knowing this might not go well.
Ignoring the tightening sensation in my chest, I hop out of my car and make my way towards her and her little teal bug that adorably fits her bubbly personality.
April and I could not be more opposite. While we are both flirtatious, she has a much louder demeanor than I do.
She has a stereotypical highschool experience.
She was a cheerleader who brought high energy everywhere she went, was homecoming and prom queen, and made friends easily, while I spent my nights studying at the library. We were a picture perfect cliche.
Lately, our schedules are so busy and I miss her so much when weeks go by without seeing her. We grew apart during college, but we reconnected when she moved not too far from me, and love being able to meet up more often.
My favorite is when Ana comes too, and I can spend time with both of my best friends together in the same place, even though I can tell Ana can only take April in small doses, she still makes it work for me, just one of the many reasons I love her.
“Oh, my gosh! I am so happy to see you, B! Mom said you were coming.” She embraces me in the biggest hug. “Oh, Luke just moved back, so he’ll be here too. Actually, he works at the hospital right by the bar now.”
“I know. We actually ran into each other at the bookstore and went to dinner,” I confess, thinking it’s best to loop her in now since she brought it up.
“Like a date?” She scrunches her face.
“Not a date. We were just catching up.”
“That’s good. You know he’s coming off a messy divorce, and he needs stability and predictability right now,” she doesn’t elaborate as she turns towards the door.
“What the hell does that mean?” I ask with frustration lacing my voice.
“Nothing.” She continues to walk, and I reach out and grab her arm.
“April, you don’t just say things like that without mea-”
I’m interrupted by the sound of Luke closing his car door behind me.
“Look, my two favorite girls in one place,” he admires as he approaches. April rolls her eyes at me and walks inside, closing the door behind her.
Does she think I’m just trying to hook up with her brother?
“What’s wrong with her?” Luke asks.
“She mentioned you were coming over tonight because you moved back. I told her I ran into you at the bookstore and we went to dinner. She asked if it was a date, and when I told her no, she seemed relieved because you’re ‘coming off a messy divorce and need stability.’”
“What does that mean?” he asks, his brows furrowed
“I asked the same thing, and then you pulled up, so I don’t know, but it felt like she thinks I’m not good enough for you. Good thing we’re not dating.” I roll my eyes.
“Blake, trust me, you are more than good enough for me.” He leans in and whispers in my ear, “You have been my saving grace since I moved back. And if I was lucky enough to make you mine, shit. I’d-” He clears his throat, pulls away, and moves towards the door, shaking his head. “Forget it.”
Without another word, he pulls me by the hand inside like he didn’t just make my head spin with what he said to me.
We immediately sit down to eat, and it’s a good thing April can talk and fill the silence so effortlessly. She is getting ready to open a bakery in town, so she has a lot to say tonight, and I could not be more proud of her.
“Mom, I found the best recipe for scones. They come out so buttery and flaky. Perfection.” April punctuates her description with a chef’s kiss.
“Maybe you can bring some by. Dad and I would be more than happy to be your food critiques.” Maggie smiles.
“I could never turn down a pastry,” Matt, April and Luke’s dad, cuts in. “Especially if it’s made by my little ray of sunshine,” he continues.
My chest tightens. I wonder what it feels like to have a father who loves you more than life itself.
Needing to shake off the emotion erupting inside me, I take a long sip of wine.
“Red,” Matt chimes in with his long-standing nickname for me, “Maggie told me you and Luke ran into each other a few weeks ago.”
“Yeah,” I offer a halfhearted smile, not wanting to go into too much detail in front of April as she’s clearly annoyed by the whole ordeal.
Luke senses my apprehension and takes over the conversation.
“It was funny, actually. I was looking through a book at the bookstore and she sat on me.”
“I didn’t sit on you,” I argue, and he gives me a raise of his brow. “Ok. I sat on you, but not on purpose. I was distracted while skimming a book, and didn’t see you sitting there.”
Matt and Maggie chuckle, and April sips her water unamused.
“Anyway,” Luke continues, “We got to chatting and we decided to ‘buddy read’ a book,” he says with air quotes.
“What in the hell is a buddy read?” his dad questions.
“It’s when two people read the same book at the same time and meet up to talk about it,” April interjects with annoyance in her voice. “So, that means you’ve met up a few times, right?”
Her gaze shifts from annoyance to anger as she looks between us, but neither of us say anything.
“Well, I think it’s nice,” Maggie speaks up, giving April a pointed look.
“Yeah, I guess,” April responds, and then excuses herself and walks to the restroom.
Despite the uncomfortable tension between April and I, we all continue chatting for a while after she returns. After all, a few hours with the Jennings is the family time I have been needing.
The charge between Luke and I is another story. It’s been hard not to gawk, so I decide to call it an early night.
“Hey, I’m going to head home,” I tell April. “Can we get coffee this week and chat? I feel like we are fighting, and I hate it.”
“We are not fighting, B. I’m just upset you’ve been lying to me.”
“I’m not lying to you, I just haven’t had the chance to mention it.”
“Well, we’re going to lunch with Ana tomorrow, so I’ll see you then,” she exhales sharply and I can tell she’s also not being honest.
“Ok, but that’s with Ana. I guess I thought we could talk, just the two of us, but I guess not.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she responds but fails to look in my direction.
“Can’t wait,” I respond sarcastically. “I should go.” I lean down and give her a hug, a little too frayed to engage right now.
Just as I walk into the kitchen to offer my goodbyes to Matt and Maggie, my phone dings with a text.
Luke: Meet me at the bar.
Me: It’s a 45 minute drive, and it’s late.
Luke: Please
Debating on what the right move is, I reluctantly agree. I know he needs someone to talk to.
Me: See you there.
The entire drive back to Cedar Creek is silent. I can’t bring myself to play music, or listen to a podcast, I just need the silence. To be utterly alone with my thoughts, undistracted, except they’re whirling so fast I can’t focus on them either.
Luke sent me a text about 15 minutes after I left, saying he was on his way. Knowing he won’t be here for a few minutes, I walk inside the bar, get a table all the way in the back of the rooftop seating area away from the crowd and noise, and nervously wait.