9
These past few hours have been like living in a dream. After the pizzeria, we left the busy city streets and lost ourselves in the picturesque scenery around the Carlton Gardens, Brooks’ hand gripping mine tightly the entire time.
The historical building created a romantic backdrop as we strolled around a beautiful fountain towards luscious green grass and perfectly manicured gardens.
The path was lined with enormous elm trees that dropped their leaves like confetti as we walked by.
This is my idea of the perfect date, even though I’m not sure if this is a date.
He continued to ask me questions about Mark and my sexual experience. Each question shocked me less and less.
“Do you drink coffee?” he asks. I see a cart up ahead and nod eagerly.
The truth is, I hate the smell and the taste, even though it was a constant feature in our kitchen growing up; Luna can’t function without her morning hit of caffeine.
She would sit around the kitchen bench with Mum, both of them chatting away over their steaming mugs.
Breathing the stuff in like it was a banned substance.
I would have a hot chocolate instead, but it seems like such a juvenile drink compared to coffee, and I don’t want Brooks to think I’m a baby who can’t handle a little caffeine.
He orders two and passes one to me, and I try not to gag on the scent.
“Did you have any pets growing up?” I ask, trying to distract him as I empty five sugar packets into my cup. I quickly stir in the sugar and place the lid on top. I’m going to drink this coffee, without screwing my face up, and I’m going to like it.
“I had a goldfish once, but it only lasted a day. I didn’t have time to name it. After that, I stayed away from all living things that depended on me.”
“Oh, that’s sad. Every kid should have a pet.
We have a cat. Mr Whiskers,” I say without thinking.
I should have left off the Mr Whiskers part.
He smiles, takes my hand again and drinks his coffee.
He sighs as if it’s the best thing he’s ever had in his mouth.
Here goes nothing. I bring the cup to my lips.
It smells horrible. I hold my breath as I let the hot liquid flow into my mouth.
My body wants to reject it, but I fight the urge to spit it out and force the coffee down my throat while I hold what I hope looks like a content smile on my face.
“It’s good, isn’t it?”
“Mmhmm,” I reply through clenched teeth.
“Are you looking forward to starting classes tomorrow?” We walk towards the exit of the park, and my heart sinks as I realise he’s leading us back in the direction of the apartment.
“I’m nervous. I don’t do well in new places. What about you? I mean. Do you have much planned for the week?” I ask, hoping that it’s not obvious that I’m fishing for an invitation to do something, anything, as long as I’m with him.
“I don’t make plans.”
I don’t know how I’m going to continue pretending that I’m this cool, go-with-the-flow, no-strings chick. Sooner or later, my anal, obsessive-compulsive true self is going to rear her ugly head and scare him off.
“Me neither.”
A sexy smirk spreads across his face. He must know I’m attempting to play it cool, which means I’m failing miserably. All I want is for him to turn around, grab me, and tell me he’s falling for me and that he can’t imagine going a single day without being with me.
But instead, we continue walking, each step bringing the end of our day closer.
It occurs to me that he doesn’t have my number yet.
Panic begins to surge through my body, travelling up each of my limbs towards the aching pit in my stomach.
Maybe this has all been in my head. If he hasn’t asked for my number, that must mean that he doesn’t want to call me.
Which means he doesn’t care if he sees me again.
I know he lives across the courtyard, but how am I supposed to be that close to him without being able to talk to him whenever I want?
My heart begins to race as the streets start to look familiar.
The sun is setting in the distance. We’ve spent the entire day together, but it hasn’t been enough.
I want more. I need more. I don’t want this to be the end.
We turn into the parking lot of the apartment building, walk past his vintage car and into the courtyard.
“I had fun today.” He turns to face me when we get to my door. I look around nervously. What can I say to make him ask for my number?
“Me too. Thank you for showing me around. I’d be lost without you.
” Crap, that sounded too desperate. He leans forward, bringing his mouth towards mine.
This will be the first time we’ve kissed all day.
I open my mouth, ready for his soft tongue to caress mine, ready for the electrifying tingles to course through my veins.
He covers my mouth with his. His tongue enters, and my knees threaten to give way.
I step closer to him, pressing my body flush against his, and he wraps his arms around my waist, providing me with the extra support I need.
My hands fumble at the hem of his top. I slide them underneath the material, anxious to feel his body.
If this is our last kiss, I need to leave an impression and make him want more.
A deep moan rumbles from his throat. He grips my back, pulling me closer.
All I want to do is plunge my hands into his pants and hold him.
Let him know how much I want him. I gasp as his fingertips lightly massage my back, and our kiss deepens.
He ends our kiss, pressing his forehead against mine, and says, “You’re going to bring me nothing but trouble.” He breaths deeply, then presses his lips to the top of my head.
“I’ll see you around?” I ask, hoping that he commits to seeing me tomorrow after class.
“See you around,” he says, turning to leave.
I hold onto his hand as he starts to walk away.
He turns with a smile, lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles before letting go.
The muscles in my chest tense, restricting my pounding heart.
With each step he takes, more and more oxygen is withdrawn from my lungs.
He didn’t ask for my number.