14
I’ve always hated the library. It’s too quiet.
The only sounds echoing off the high ceilings are tapping keyboards and the occasional sound of pages turning.
Students scatter around the large wooden tables, books sprawled out in front of them.
You can tell the seniors from the freshmen.
They all have an intense look on their face, almost as if every line they read could bring them one step closer to their dreams. The freshmen, on the other hand, are all looking around, worrying if we fit in.
I lock eyes for a brief moment with a blonde boy.
He lifts his eyebrows and nods as if he’s agreeing with every thought that’s surging through my mind.
Someone shushes from the other side of the tables.
As if this place needs to be any quieter.
I look over to Gaia, the only reason why I’m sitting here, on my first day off, in this unnaturally cold room.
I have to marvel at my own genius for choosing subjects based on the days they run.
It’s left me with Thursdays and Fridays off every single week.
Abi, on the other hand, chose purely based on what she wanted to do, with no thought for planning, and ended up with a scattered timetable with Wednesdays and Fridays off. What a rookie.
Gaia has her head down in a thick economics book, busily scribbling notes. I’m debating with myself how long it will take her to realise that she picked the wrong person to be her study partner. I don’t believe I have ever been this bored.
“Are you ok?” Gaia whispers, looking up from her textbook.
“Wanna get out of here?” I ask. A loud shush comes from the next table, followed by a chorus of shushes erupting around us.
“Give me another ten minutes, and we’ll take a break, ok?”
I nod, not wanting to risk getting us kicked out before she’s ready.
Gaia takes her lower lip between her teeth, something I’ve discovered she does when she’s concentrating.
Her dark eyes move from side to side as she reads the text in front of her.
I almost feel bad at the mere thought of distracting her again, but I need those eyes to look at me and feel the undeniable chemistry we have when they peer into mine.
“You have amazing eyes,” I softly whisper under my breath, my chin resting in my hands as I look across the table at her.
She looks up and gives me the connection that I’ve been craving, a sweet smile playing on her lips.
I realise that’s the key to getting her attention.
Compliments. Lightning bolts of attraction strike my skin as her eyes flirtatiously linger on mine, leaving goosebumps all over my body.
“Are you cold?” she asks, looking down at my bare arms.
“No,” I reply, taking a deep breath for confidence before I speak the next words. “I’ve just never met anyone as beautiful as you before.”
Her olive cheeks flush a light shade of pink.
“Would you stop?” she says with a laugh, bringing her hand to her face in an attempt to cool her flushed skin.
“What? No one’s told you how beautiful you are?” I ask, not wanting to know the answer. If they have, then I’m immediately jealous, and if they haven’t, well, then they’re all fucking idiots and don’t deserve to be in the same room as her.
“You’re going to get us kicked out.” She looks around us to see if we’re disturbing anyone, avoiding answering the question.
“Perfect! Then we can take a fucking break.”
The rest of the room begins to loudly shush us as if they’ve all choreographed their song ahead of time. I’m trying not to laugh at the uproar I’m inciting when Ginger and her minions approach.
“Shut up. All your shushing is louder than their whispers,” Ginger scolds, glaring at everyone around us. They give her an eye roll but look directly back down into their books.
“Hey girls,” I greet them, bringing my voice up to a slightly higher pitch to match Ginger’s. “Have you met Gaia?”
“You’re in our business class, right?” Ginger asks, sitting on the edge of the table in front of me.
Gaia gives a shy nod without saying a word.
“Ok, well, I guess we’ll see you later, Luna.
” Ginger blows air kisses in my direction before turning to strut off, closely followed by the two B’s and Lacey. I’ll get their names one day.
I turn my attention back to Gaia, eager to continue shamelessly flirting, but she won’t look at me. “You alright?”
“I’m fine. Ready to take that break?” Gaia replies dismissively, scooping her books into her arms. She stands from her seat and quickly turns in the direction of the exit without waiting for my reply. I jump up, grab my bag and jog out after her.
“Hey, what was that all about?” I ask, finally catching up to her.
“Nothing. I just thought you wanted a break.” She looks ahead, a look of determination on her face as she power-walks ahead of me.
“Hold up a minute.” I grab her arm, forcing her to stop.
“I just feel nervous around girls like that.” She looks around, unwilling to make eye contact.
“Talk to me. What do you mean, girls like that?”
“Back in Greece, when I was in high school. I got picked on a lot. They’d travel in packs.
One girl in particular was their leader, a lot like that one.
Ginger. She’d make fun of my accent and tell me I didn’t fit in.
Then they started in on the way I dressed.
What I ate for lunch. Anything she could find that made me different, she’d pull me up for.
After a while, everyone in the school avoided me.
I guess they didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire.
I spent my days hoping that I would stay invisible, that they’d leave me alone.
I know your friends probably aren’t like that, and I know you’re not, but I just don’t like talking to new people. ”
A sudden need to fly to Greece and hunt down the bitches who made Gaia feel like this takes over my entire body. I know they only picked on her because she’s beautiful and smart, reminding them of their own flaws–but she doesn’t seem to see it that way.
“Is that why you came back?”
“Partly. I always loved it here. It’s home, you know? But all of those girls got accepted to the University of Athens, which is where I was going to apply. I just needed to get some distance. Start fresh where no one knows me.” We begin to walk, and her hand catches mine, interlocking our fingers.
“So, what made you talk to me?”
“I don’t know, there was something about you that made me feel at ease. Until you were with them. I got a weird feeling. Like I didn’t recognise who you were when you were talking to them.”
“I’m sorry. I won’t make you feel that way again,” I promise.
She smiles, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I hope I never let her down. The faith that she has in me, the way she blindly trusts that I’m a good person, is refreshing.
I have no idea what she sees in me, or if what she does see is just a reflection of herself.
God, I hope it’s me. I want her to see who I am, none of the masking bullshit, the real Luna.
We continue to walk aimlessly around the campus, past groups of students studying on the lawn.
“What did you want to do now?” I ask, not wanting our time together to end.
“I’m volunteering at the local animal shelter this afternoon.” Of course, she fucking volunteers. I feel my heart swell a little. “Do you want to come with me?” She looks at me with hopeful eyes.
I want to spend the rest of the day with her, more than I have ever wanted anything, but animal-related activities are not my idea of a good time.
Abi has this cat, Mr Whiskers, my nemesis.
That little asshole would wait until I came down the stairs, he’d perch himself on the edge, hiding in between the posts and swipe at my ankles.
Then, he had the nerve to rub up against my leg and purr like a little narcissistic tyrant whenever he wanted something.
I hated him, and he loathed me in return.
He had everyone else in the house fooled, but I could see him for what he was.
A rude, entitled, grumpy fucking cat that served no real purpose other than to use people and enjoy their pain when he swiped at them with his sharp Wolverine claws.
I’m at a fork in the road. Do I tell this beautiful girl the truth?
I am not an animal person. Or do I lie? Not lie, but sugar-coat the first difference we have in order to spend more time with her?
I’m very aware that only a few minutes ago, I was hoping she would get to know the real me.
But, who knows, maybe I could become an animal person for her.
“I’d love to,” I smile cheerfully. I'd better not have to pick up any of their shit.
Her smile beams as she directs us off campus and towards the animal shelter.
“Do you volunteer often?”
“I did, back in Greece. I didn’t have any friends to hang out with after school.
It was a little lonely, so I started volunteering, and the animals made pretty good company.
The shelter is just up here.” She nods her head in the direction of an alley.
I let out a nervous sigh. Our entire future relies on how this goes.
I step into the shelter, nervously following Gaia. It smells like piss and abandonment. I scrunch my nose and try to hold my breath as Gaia greets an older man behind the counter, and he smiles. How could anyone not smile at her?
“This is Luna. She’s come to help,” Gaia announces proudly. He looks me up and down, with a huff, as if he can sense I’m not an animal person.
“Any help is appreciated,” he says, unconvincingly. “You can start by letting the dogs out one by one for a play, then clean their cage before you put them back in with dinner. And the litter trays in the cat enclosures need cleaning.”
Great, half of those jobs involve cleaning shit.
“Thank you.” Gaia pulls on my hand to get me to follow her out the back.
I look back at the man, and he’s smirking at me, fucking smart ass.
Gaia gets to work straight away, opening up a pen full of puppies.
They run out towards me, and one stops to cock its leg on the side of the enclosure.
I guess puppies aren’t too bad. They’re actually kind of cute.
“I’ll start cleaning out the cage. You can play with them,” Gaia laughs as she watches me uncomfortably bend down to scratch one on the top of the head.
“Thank you!” I exclaim, with a little too much enthusiasm.
I spot a plastic tub of toys over in the corner and walk towards it.
The puppies follow me, nipping at my heels.
As soon as I take a seat on the fake grass, they pounce on my lap, leaping up at my face.
Their little tongues lick my skin as if I’m covered in candy.
“They love you. You’re a natural,” Gaia calls out. Who knows, maybe I am an animal person after all, as long as they’re cute, fluffy, affectionate puppies and not angry little cats plotting for world domination one swipe at a time.
I engage in a rather competitive game of tug of war with a couple of the puppies. They keep winning, but, in my defence, they’re ganging up on me, and I am severely outnumbered.
“Sorry to break up the party, but we have to move on.” Gaia picks up the puppy’s food bowls and bangs them together. They come running, jumping up at her legs as she dishes up their dinner.
She closes the gate behind them and moves on to the next enclosure containing an older dog.
Her sad eyes stare into mine, and all I want to do is hug her.
When Gaia opens the gate, the dog stands slowly, stretching her long legs before coming out to inspect the toy tub.
One after another, Gaia lets out each of the unwanted pooches before putting them back in their little prisons for dinner.
“How do you do this? It breaks my heart not being able to take them home,” I ask, looking over my shoulder as we leave the dogs.
“I just try to give them as much love and attention as I can while I’m here.” Gaia opens a door labelled cattery, and dread fills my limbs. She notices immediately. “Are you ok? You’re not allergic, are you?” I wish I were allergic to those self-centred little demons.
“No, I love cats,” I lie again, immediately regretting it. I step into the room. The whining meows pierce my ears, and all I want is to be back with the dogs. I can do this. I can be a cat person for twenty minutes.
“This little guy is my favourite. My building doesn’t allow pets, but it’s only a matter of time before I bring him home.
” She opens the enclosure to a grey cat with a face that looks like it’s walked into a wall.
He purrs as her hands wrap around him. She brings him closer to her body, and he responds by rubbing the top of his head against her neck.
The joy she’s feeling is written over her face, and all I want is to give her anything that makes her smile like that, even if it is a cat.
“You should get him,” I hear myself say. What am I doing?
“I can’t. If my landlord found out, he’d kick me out.” She looks back down at the cat, sadness starting to creep into her dark eyes.
“He wouldn’t be that hard to hide, and if you get caught, I’ll take him.” I cannot believe the words that are coming out of my mouth. I don’t want a fucking cat. But I do want Gaia to be happy.
“Really?” She flashes me a contagious grin, her eyes sparkling with joy.
Anything for you, I want to say. “Yeah, of course. I love cats.”
“Ok, I’ll do it. I’ll get him.”
“Great.”