31
My eyes slowly open, and I attempt to focus on the blurry shape sitting on the edge of the bed. I eagerly rub at them, desperate to see a clearer image of Brooks’ beautiful face.
“Have a good day, babe,” he whispers.
“You too, babe.” I laugh to myself, mocking his pet name.
“Shut up,” he teases, bringing his lips to mine again, only for a second, before leaving the room.
The apartment door creaks shut, followed by the sound of Luna walking across the apartment from her room to mine.
She taps on the door but doesn’t wait for an answer before letting herself in.
She scoots into the bed, filling the space Brooks left behind and pulls the blanket up around her before rolling over to face me.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers into the blanket.
“Can you do something for me? Can you try not to embarrass him like that again?”
She nods, and a wave of relief rolls over me as we break free from the awkward glances and sourness of last night.
“Thank you. We’d better get going, or we’re going to be late for class,” I say, edging my way to get out of bed.
Luna dramatically throws her body around but doesn’t get up.
“Do you have classes with Gaia today?” I add, hoping this would motivate her.
My gentle reminder is all Luna needs to jump out of bed and start moving around the apartment.
We are walking to campus when we notice Amir jogging towards us, holding a tray with three cups in it.
“Ladies,” he greets, seamlessly matching our stride as he holds out the tray for us to take one.
“Oh my God, where have you been all my life?” Luna asks, reaching for the cup with her name on it.
“Are you talking to me or the coffee? Abi, I got you a hot chocolate.”
“You and your coffee. You’re glorious, my friend,” Luna gushes, taking the lid off her cup to smell the contents.
“How was your weekend?” Amir gently nudges me with his elbow.
“Perfect.” I smile bashfully, remembering every kiss Brooks placed on my body. “I felt like Daisy Buchanan when she reunites with her Gatsby.” I can’t help but let a smile spread across my face.
“Be careful, Abi. Brooks is not Gatsby, and you are not in an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel,” Luna warns sternly. I turn my back to her and roll my eyes.
“I’ve been meaning to call you, Amir. Tell me all about that guy at the club,” I say, changing the subject.
Amir brags about his hook-up, his first since his break-up with Cameron. His happiness is displayed in his eyes, finally free from the heartbreak of his past relationship.
I watch Luna excitedly fill Amir in on all things Gaia, and I’m reminded that I have never seen her this way about anyone. She’s usually so blasé about her romantic interests, with a whatever-happens-happens mentality.
I check my phone throughout the day, hoping for a message from Brooks. I finally cave around lunchtime and message him.
As soon as I press send, I become nervous, hoping that he understands my joking reference to the way he called me babe this morning and that I’m in no way expecting to be able to call him a pet name. My phone pings almost straight away.
I laugh to myself, and the person sitting beside me turns with a disapproving scowl on their face.
Normally, I would be embarrassed to have upset someone, but I don’t know how else to describe it other than to say that my heart is happy today, and nothing is going to make me feel bad.
My phone begins to ring, and I am startled, thinking it might be Brooks.
I check the screen and see that it’s Mum, so I reject the call.
After class, I find a seat beneath a large sycamore tree, checking the seat for bird poo before sitting down.
“Who’s this? It can’t be my daughter because she never returns my calls.
” Mum’s playful but almost harsh tone answers after the second ring.
“You move away, and suddenly you’re too busy to call your mother back?
Honestly, Abigail. You know, Luna finds the time to call us?
What is so important that you don’t have time to answer a phone call? ”
“Sorry. I’ve been so busy. I started my new job.
” I choose to provide a half-truth. It’s too soon to tell her the extent of my relationship with Brooks.
She wouldn’t understand. Both of my parents are loyal to the idea that I’m destined to end up with Mark.
They would struggle to comprehend how close I’ve become to someone else.
“Well, that’s good. Listen, Bug, I called to discuss bringing Paige up to see you. I wanted to make sure you’re not too busy. I know it won’t be for a little while, but she’s been pestering me to mark it on the family calendar.”
I hear her flip through the pages on the large calendar that hangs on our kitchen wall and imagine her standing by the sink, the cordless phone tucked between her shoulder and her ear.
She’s probably wearing her charcoal leggings and one of Dad’s old t-shirts, her usual cleaning attire for her day off from work.
“I’m looking forward to seeing you guys.” As I say the words, I realise just how true they are.
“We miss you too, Abigail.”
After hashing out some more details, we hang up, and I rush off to my next class.
I sit on the couch sideways, with my back leaning against the armrest and my legs stretched out in front of me, facing the front door.
Reruns of Friends play in the background while I catch up on assessments.
The front door creaks open, and I look up expecting to see Luna and Sam, who are out picking up dinner–but instead, I spot Brooks strolling into the apartment, his stride boasting with confidence.
He’s wearing his black dress pants and white shirt.
I startle slightly, sitting up and snapping my laptop closed.
I look down at my outfit: pyjama pants and an old grey t-shirt with holes littering the neckline.
It’s hardly what I’d call enticingly sexual.
He always looks so much better than I do.
“Hey.” I move my laptop off my knee and slide it onto the floor.
“Hey,” he says, with a mischievous grin.
He climbs over to the opposite end of the couch, placing one knee between my legs and the other against the outside of my thigh.
He crawls closer, lowering his body onto mine and plants a kiss on my lips.
My legs part slightly as my hands untuck his shirt and slide up underneath to feel his skin, playing with the hair that teases its way into his pants.
I lift my hips towards him, feeling an overwhelming need take over my body as the front door swings open, revealing Sam and Luna carrying pizza boxes.
“Hey, whoa, hey,” Sam says, placing the boxes on the bench. He raises his hand in front of Luna’s eyes to shield her from the scene they’ve just walked into.
“She has a room,” Luna teases, pulling Sam’s hand away from her face and screwing up her nose. Brooks laughs and kisses me on the forehead, jumping off me, leaving me instantly colder, and stands beside the couch, adjusting his pants.
Halfway through the movie, as I sit between Brooks’ legs, wrapped up in his arms, and my back resting against his chest, he becomes distracted.
Repeatedly kissing my neck and rubbing his hands over my stomach.
I arch my back silently, wishing that we were alone and he could slip those hands down into the waistline of my pants.
Luckily, Luna and Sam are so interested in the movie that they don’t notice that I’m wriggling in his lap.
Luna has now placed one leg off the chair and wrapped it around Sam to rest it over his shoulder.
Their connection is so effortless, but I can’t help but think how inappropriate their relationship is.
They have both said that they only feel friendship toward one another, but I wonder if Luna would still be acting this way with him if Gaia were here.
Sam takes Luna’s foot in her hand, her head dips back in pleasure as he rubs the arch of her foot, and my body stiffens against Brooks’ touch.
“You ok?” he whispers into my ear. I’m far from ok.
I can’t help these pangs of jealousy. They unexpectedly invade my thoughts, and I can’t fight them off.
I can’t stand to watch them anymore. What makes me even angrier is that I can’t work out who I’m jealous of.
Luna for being all over Sam, or Sam for stealing my best friend?
“I’m getting tired. Did you want to sleep over?” I ask, looking back at Brooks.
“Let me shoot home and grab a quick shower. Unless you wanted to come with me and sleep there?”
“I’ll come with you,” I reply, not wanting to be away from him for that long and thankful for the excuse to get away from Luna and Sam. I stand from the couch, collecting my keys and phone from the kitchen bench. Brooks gets up and stands by me at the door.
“We’re going,” I announce, trying not to let my annoyance peek through my tone. Luna looks at me with a confused expression. “I’ll be back in the morning. Don’t use all the hot water,” I joke, in an attempt to mask the sudden awkwardness in the air.
“I can’t promise that,” she teases, finally smiling at me before looking back towards the TV.
“I’ll be quick.” Brooks kisses the top of my head as we enter his apartment.
I place my keys and phone on the bedside table and take a seat on the kitchen stool.
He walks into the bathroom, and the water turns on.
I look towards the living area. His black couch faces a large flat-screen TV with a black coffee table in between, littered with empty beer bottles and unopened mail.
His apartment is a typical bachelor pad.
I try to picture myself living here, throwing my fluffy pink blanket over the end of the couch while I lazily read a book, and Brooks sitting beside me watching football.
My mind pulls me away from my daydream, and visions of Harper and Brooks sitting there replace them, his hand on her thigh just like Luna said.
I miss the days when I knew that my boyfriend was my boyfriend and that I could trust that he’d never look at another person, let alone have someone else fall all over him, and worse than that, that he would encourage it.
I glance toward the bathroom door, still hearing the water, and without thinking, I stand from the stool and walk over, resting my hand on the closed door.
I need to see him. I need him to hold me, to feel his touch and be reassured that he’s still mine.
I grip the handle, hesitating for a moment before I push the door open.
Brooks is facing the wall away from me, his naked back exposed, glistening under the falling water.
I clear my throat, feeling uncomfortable about the fact that he doesn’t know I’m standing here watching him.
He turns around but doesn’t look surprised.
“Join me?” he asks, stepping back and gesturing that there’s plenty of room.
I undress and open the shower door. He holds out a hand for me.
I take it and step under the warm water.
He wraps his wet arms around my body, pulling me closer to him.
I let out a sigh. This is exactly what I needed to push those negative thoughts away.
He gently places a soft kiss on the tip of my nose.
I could never understand how couples in movies make this look so sexual.
Yes, we’re naked, yes, it’s wet, and that’s all well and good, but as I look up at him, I only get water spraying down into my eyes.
I move in an attempt to step out of the water’s spray, but then I’m too cold.
I end up stepping back towards him with arms in front of my chest for warmth and snuggling my head into his chest, with the water coming down on the top of my head.
I hope he hasn’t realised how graceless I am.
I close my eyes as I softly move my hands out from between us, pushing my breasts up against his chest and glide my hands down to his perfectly sculpted butt.
He has his arms wrapped around my body, holding me close.
It’s like a dream, being held by him, even if I’m quietly drowning under the running water.
Deciding that if I am going to be in such a cramped position, I might as well make the most of it.
I slowly move my hand from his butt to his front and take him in my hand.
He lets out a seductive sigh under his breath as he brings his hand to my chin, lifting my face to kiss him.
Now the water is pouring down on both of our faces.
I can’t see. I can’t even breathe, but I don’t care.