40
Sam and I sit back down at the table. At first tonight, I felt awkward being without Brooks, but now, as the night has progressed, I’m not sure if it’s the drinks or Sam’s mesmerising eyes, but I can’t seem to look away.
“How are classes going?” Sam asks, leaning closer, yelling over the music into my ear.
He supports himself with his arm on the back of my chair, causing his muscles to flex underneath his tight t-shirt.
I catch a glimpse of his tattoo, and I’m reminded of the morning I found him topless in my living room.
I had imagined what it would have felt like to be wrapped up in those strong arms, kissing my way down his toned abs until I reached that smooth V.
“It’s really good, thanks.” I choke on my words, my mouth suddenly dry. I mechanically move my hand to push my hair behind my ear, only to find that it’s tightly secured back by the braid Luna plaited earlier. I must look like a child compared to the other girls here.
“I’m holding my breath until graduation,” Sam says, responding to a question I hadn’t thought to ask as he lifts his hand, running it through his hair.
Normally, when he does that, it falls directly back onto his forehead, but he’s sweaty from the humid club and this time, his hair clings back to his head.
A bead of sweat drips down his temple. I’ve been so removed from everyone lately that I’d forgotten what it felt like to be near him.
Forgotten the way my heart thumped in my chest whenever he touched me.
My thoughts, my time, my life have all been so consumed by Brooks lately that I’d let it all slip away.
But now, with Sam looking deep into my eyes, waiting for me to speak, it all comes flooding back.
The blossoming feelings, the nervous ache in my stomach.
My hand lifts as if I have no control over it, almost touching his cheek, causing him to lean in closer.
“Abi, I,” Sam hesitates, his tongue brushes over his lips, and I wonder what it would be like to kiss them.
Brooks’ face flashes into my mind, and I instinctively pull my body backward as far away from Sam as I can, causing my chair to wobble.
For a moment, I’m scared that I’m going to fall until Sam swiftly places one hand on the back of my seat and the other on my thigh, steadying me and the chair.
My eyes dart to look at Sam’s hand. His touch warms my leg, spreading a burning need between my thighs.
He removes his hand, with an awkward laugh, and rubs it on the back of his neck.
“I think I’m going to take off. Go see if my friends are still around.” He stands somewhat abruptly, looking down at me. “Take care, Abi.”
He walks towards the dance floor, stopping to say goodbye to Gaia and Luna before disappearing into the crowd, and I am left feeling embarrassed, rejected and guilty. I wish I was at home, drifting off to sleep in Brooks’ arms. I never should have gone out without him.