44
As Gaia and I sneak into the hall for our final lecture on Wednesday afternoon, the lecturer looks up from his screen, giving us a disapproving look for being late.
Gaia smiles apologetically as we rush up the steps to find two vacant seats together.
We sit in a row in front of Ginger and her friends.
“I love this lecturer,” Gaia whispers, taking a seat. I sit down next to her, placing my bag at my feet.
“Me too. Even when he’s talking about something boring, he has a way of making it interesting,” I reply, pulling my phone from my pocket and switching it to silent. This lecturer is my favourite. The others always sound like they’re reading out of a textbook.
I wish all my classes were like this one.
Every day that I have to sit through another mind-numbingly boring lecture, it gets harder not to drift off and daydream about what my life would be like if I didn’t have to live by my dad’s demands.
I’d spend my days sketching, or maybe even helping people in some way.
I can’t imagine what life will be like once I’ve finished this wretched course and actually have to do this for a living. I’d bet good money that when kids are asked what they want to be when they grow up, not one of them says ‘Wealth Manager’ or ‘Private Banker.’
I’ve always been jealous of Abi, she’s known what she wanted to be since we were kids. I spent my high school years trying different subjects, searching for something that interested me, but it all felt futile when I knew I had no say in my future.
When the lecture is over, I help Gaia pick up her books and put them in her backpack.
She smiles up at me, reaching out to touch my arm in a silent thanks.
She is my favourite part of all of this.
I may be staring down the barrel of an unfilled career, but as long as she’s by my side, it almost seems worth it.
“Hey girl!” Ginger greets us, tapping me on the shoulder to get my attention. She sweeps her hair over her shoulder while her minions smile and wave in unison.
“Hey, G. God, I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. What did you think of the lecture?”
I expect her to tell me she loved it, giving me an open to express how much I enjoyed it too, but instead, she rolls her eyes. “This lecturer is such a yawn. Don’t you think?”
My shoulders instantly tense, and I scramble to adjust my response.
“Totally. Lucky for me, I needed the nap,” I say with a forced laugh.
Gaia pushes past me and out of the room. I excuse myself, telling Ginger I’ll call her later and follow Gaia outside. She takes a seat on the bench under the sycamore tree, and I sit beside her.
“What’s up?” I ask, slightly out of breath.
“I don’t like seeing you change who you are depending on who you’re with.”
“I don’t change who I am,” I reply, my words sounding more defensive than I had hoped.
“You change your opinions based on who you’re talking to.
First, you tell me you love animals, then I find out from your best friend that you can’t stand them.
And at the start of the lecture, you told me that he was your favourite lecturer, then you turn around and say the exact opposite to Ginger.
” I place my hand on top of Gaia’s, and she doesn’t pull away, which is a good sign.
“How am I supposed to know that you’re the real you with me when you change the way you act and talk at the flip of a switch? ”
“You know the real me.”
“I think I do,” she says, putting her other hand on top of mine.
“You do, please believe me. Like the way you make me shiver when you kiss me here.” I lean forward to kiss the spot on her neck that I like. Her face softens into a smile.
“You don’t have to change anything about yourself to make people like you.
You are amazing.” She tilts her head to the side as I kiss her neck.
It’s lovely to hear, but straight away, my mind raises the question.
If I’m so great the way I am, then why did my mother leave me?
Maybe if I had been someone else, she would have stayed or at least taken me with her.
“I’m serious,” she says, moving her hands to cup both sides of my face.
She locks her eyes with mine. “You are worth sticking around for.” I try to look down, unexpectedly feeling shy under her gaze, but she holds my face steady, not allowing me to chicken out of this moment.
“I love you, Luna,” she says, with such certainty that tears begin to prick my eyes.
“I love you,” I say, and let out a deep breath. “And thanks to you, I love animals now. I promise.”
“No more pretending to be anyone else?”
“I’ll only be me from now on.” Gaia brings my face to hers, gently pressing her lips to mine and kissing me softly. She stands from the bench, holding out her hand for me to join her.
“Let’s go home,” she says, and I rise to my feet, taking hold of her hand.
Gaia smiles warmly as she softly brushes the hair from my face.
We’re walking back to the apartment hand in hand, our wide smiles matching, when I hear footsteps coming up behind us.
I turn to see Sam jogging. He pops up next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and placing his hand on Gaia.
“Hello, my favourite couple. What are we doing tonight?”
“We were going home to have sex,” I say abruptly.
“Huh. Well, I’ll pass on the sex, as amazing as that would be, but could I interest you in a board game?”
“You are so lame,” I say. Gaia nudges me with her elbow. “Yes, fine. A board game sounds great.”