Chapter 34
Nevan
Stars twinkled in the dark sky, painting the bog in a silvery shimmering light. I ran out of my mother’s cottage and down the dirt road toward the city. I wasn’t sure what direction Enid had gone, but I knew that I had to find her.
Tonight. Now.
I needed to tell her how I felt, and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t realized it sooner.
It shouldn’t have taken her ending this for me to wake up to the fact that I loved her. That I wasn’t too busy to be in a relationship. I just was too busy to be in the wrong relationship—and Enid wasn’t wrong for me. That much was clear after spending so much time together over the last month.
I got to the cobblestone road of the city and sprinted around the bend and straight to her cottage. It was completely dark inside, none of the usual candles flickering and lighting the windows with warmth.
“Enid!” I shouted. “Are you in there?”
There was no answer.
“Enid! Please, answer me!”
“Hey!” Mr. Porter stuck his head out the second-story window. “Some of us are trying to sleep here.”
I wrinkled my nose. “It’s barely after dinnertime.”
“I have to be up early! And I’m trying to get some shut-eye.”
I sighed. “Okay, okay. Sorry. I’ll stop yelling.”
He harrumphed and slammed his window shut.
I debated barging into her cottage. I didn’t want to force my way into her home if she needed space, but the main problem was that I didn’t want to give her space. I wanted to hug her and kiss her and tell her how much I loved her. I wanted to grab hold of her and never let her go.
I stared at her cottage, frozen by indecision, when Vine poked out of the front window.
“Vine,” I said, relief flooding me. “Is Enid in there?”
It shook its head, and I blew out a breath. Fuck. At this rate, I’d never find her. I had no idea where she might be, and this was a huge bog. I thought about the last time she’d run away after Vine had destroyed that statue.
Maybe she’d gone there again? Knowing Enid, that’s exactly why she wouldn’t go there again. She would go to another place to ensure I didn’t find her.
I jumped when I felt Vine wrapping around my arm and tugging me forward. I’d been so lost in my thoughts I hadn’t even noticed it slithering down the side of the cottage.
It pulled at my arm again, and I let it lead me. “Are you taking me to Enid?”
It just kept moving forward, around her cottage and toward the back.
I groaned. Of course this would involve getting on one of those damn lily pads and navigating the channels.
At night, no less. I swallowed back my fear.
I’d been doing the damn swimming lessons with Enid daily, and I was getting better and better.
I was by no means a strong swimmer, but I could now float unassisted, and I’d practiced a few strokes in the shallow part of the water.
If I fell in, I wasn’t entirely sure I wouldn’t drown, but I had to do this.
I had to find Enid. If this was anything like that statue incident, she was alone and probably spiraling.
I wasn’t sure what had set her off, but I would be there for her.
I stood at the edge of the city and stepped onto a waiting lily pad, quickly moving to the center where it was most stable.
The lily pad lurched into motion, that wobbly feeling taking over my legs like it did every time I rode one of these things. I turned back to look at Vine, its body risen in the air.
“Where am I going? Does this thing know where to find her?”
Vine just stayed motionless. Perfect. So I was riding this lily pad in the middle of the bog in complete darkness, and if I got lost, no one would find me.
That wasn’t alarming at all.
I glanced at the lily pad as it brushed past reeds poking from the water. Crickets chirped; a frog croaked nearby. “Okay,” I said. “I don’t know if you can understand me like Vine does, but if you can, I need you to find Enid. She might be in trouble or something.”
The lily pad moved faster, and I crouched down, almost losing my balance and tumbling into the water.
Enid had never said anything about the other parts of this bog being able to follow commands, but it seemed like the lily pad had understood me. This place was truly a wonder of the world.
We rode for what felt like forever, past the limits of Fairwitch Isle. I glanced behind me as we crossed the barrier, the entire city disappearing, nothing but bog stretching as far as the eye could see.
The lily pad lurched to a stop at the edge of a marsh, and there she was. Moonlight bathed her in silver, and she sat among tall cattails and grass, not moving, just staring out into the distance, her back to me.
I breathed out a sigh of relief as I stepped off the lily pad and onto solid ground.
“Enid,” I said.
She turned, and the moonlight illuminated her tear-streaked face.
“Hey,” I said gently and approached her like I would a scared animal. I was terrified she’d run again, and I’d never have the chance to do this. “Are you okay?”
What a stupid question. Of course she wasn’t okay.
She swallowed thickly, and finally, I was right in front of her. I held out a hand, and she grasped it, letting me pull her up and into me.
“I’m so sorry,” I said into her hair, inhaling her rose scent. “About everything. That dinner, Cillian, my family—”
“It’s okay.” She pushed herself out of my arms and backed away. She was putting up walls again, and that terrified me.
“Thank you,” I burst out. “For standing up for me like that. No one has ever done that before. No one has ever known what I needed and actually wanted it for me.”
Her dark eyes widened.
“Everyone is always demanding more of me, of my time, of my attention. But no one has ever noticed how much I’m drowning in life. Until you.”
“Nevan,” she started.
“No, just let me get this out.” I took a deep, steadying breath. “This last month has been the best of my entire life, and it’s because of you. You’ve seen me in a way no one else has. You made me like just lying in the grass and staring up at the sky.”
She let out a quiet laugh, eyes crinkling at the corners.
“That should be boring. But somehow it isn’t.
Not with you. Best of all, you’ve given me the courage to finally stand up for myself.
I’m going to quit. I’m telling Cillian tomorrow that I’ll help train a new healer, but I am going to open my own apothecary shop.
I’m going to follow my dreams, and the thing is .
. . I want to do it with you by my side. ”
She began to back farther away. “Nevan, whatever you’re about to say, you need to stop.”
“No.” A stubbornness took over. I wouldn’t back down from this. I was sick of backing down from things, of not being honest about how I really felt. I was sick of pretending.
Her breathing grew heavy and her hand flew to her throat as she took gasping breaths.
“Enid?” I reached for her. “Are you okay—”
Before I could finish my sentence, she turned and ran. So I did the only thing I could do. I took off after her.