Chapter One
I woke with a start, glancing around my bedroom, feeling the pang of regret I always felt when I realized I was no longer in the past. Giovanni hadn’t kept me safe. Osiris had still gotten his hands on me, and my life had turned into a living nightmare.
Five years and I still hadn’t found it in me to forgive Giovanni for allowing it to happen.
Five years of the same dream.
Five years of isolation and loneliness.
My stomach twisted as I sat up, hugging myself as I stared at the carpet, at the spot where I’d nearly died not even a full month ago when Osiris had possessed me.
Giovanni had been there, along with Malachi and Dane. It was Dane who’d kept telling me to fight back, but it wasn’t until I’d heard Giovanni’s voice that I had broken free.
I’d collapsed, but when I’d come to, Giovanni had been gone, leaving me to deal with the aftermath on my own.
A bitter laugh escaped. “Do you blame him? You’ve been pushing him away for years.”
Fuck, I needed a shower. That dream had felt so real, like I was actually back in my apartment, clinging to Giovanni like a lost goddamn puppy. Truthfully, it hadn’t been his fault Osiris had kidnapped and tortured me for weeks on end. Nobody could stop the demon once he decided on a victim.
The night he’d approached me in the club, my fate had already been sealed.
But my anger and pain needed someone to blame, someone to take the fall for what I’d gone through, and my emotions had chosen the man who’d rescued me the night before.
I pressed my hands over my eyes, rocking slightly, willing the memories to fade back into the darkness. I didn’t want to think about my past, about the horrors and even less about the strong arms that had held me like I’d mattered.
“Kyson?”
Dane called through the door as he knocked. “Is it okay if I come in?”
Company was the last thing I wanted, but what I desperately needed.
“Come in,”
I called out, my voice shaky. The dream still clung to me, causing a hollow ache in my chest. It refused to let go, leaving me stuck in the past even as I sat here in the present. It was a strange disconnect my mind was struggling to make sense of.
I would’ve given anything to go back to that night, to feel Giovanni’s strong arms around me once more, holding me close and making me feel the safest I’d ever felt. I longed to inhale his scent, rest my head on his shoulder, and hear his warm chuckle in my ear.
To return to a time before I’d known the cruel touch of a demon.
The door opened, and Dane walked in, carrying two plates. Behind him was Malachi, the vampire who’d rescued me from Osiris then proceeded to act like I didn’t exist.
I stood, moved around Dane, and slammed the door in the prince’s face. Fuck him. I wasn’t in the mood to joke with him like everything was okay.
Things couldn’t have been further from okay.
“That wasn’t very polite.”
Dane set the plates on the table across the room, the dishes scraping as they touched the wooden surface.
The one good thing about living in a medieval castle was that my room was huge, larger than any apartment I’d ever lived in. I’d spent the past five years making it my own, ordering things online—on Malachi’s dime—to bring as much normalcy to my life as humanly possible.
While the interior of the castle was ruby-red-and-black marbling, polished to a shine, my bedroom was the complete opposite.
Posters of rock bands and cats hanging from tree limbs were taped to my beige walls. I had a ton of expensive sneakers tucked in their own cubby holes next to my walk-in closet, fake plants—because I was an expert at killing live ones—a stereo with surround sound, and discarded clothes were strewn around the floor.
My bedroom looked exactly how I wanted it to. Like a messy human lived in it.
“Richard made fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, steamed vegetables, and some killer dinner rolls.”
Dane pulled out one of the chairs and sat.
His demeanor was a far cry from the night I’d kidnapped him and forced him to Winterhaven. Instead of complaining and demanding to leave like he’d done at first, he now seemed right at home.
“Who said I was hungry?”
Damn it. I hadn’t meant to snarl at him, but I still wasn’t okay. Twice in a single week Osiris had possessed me, forcing my mind to relive all the horrible things he’d done to me when I’d been on his table. Things that had left me scarred inside and out.
Food wasn’t what I needed. I was desperate for a change of scenery, to feel the sun on my face and the breeze in my hair.
“Do you miss the sun yet?”
I got up and joined him, the scrape of my chair loud on the marble floor. The food smelled delicious, causing my stomach to rumble. Okay, so maybe I would eat before I took off. There was no use letting Dick’s amazing food go to waste.
“Of course I do.”
Dane dug into his food, his eyes rolling back as he chewed. “Swear to god.”
He slapped his palm on the table. “I would rather miss the sun than one of his meals. I don’t know what spices he uses, but my mouth is having a full-blown orgasm right now.”
I knew how he felt. Dick had already been at Winterhaven when I’d arrived. For years I’d been enjoying his culinary skills. It was a miracle I hadn’t gained a hundred pounds by now.
“So, now that I’m staying, what do you do around here for fun?”
He dug into the mashed potatoes, his eyes rolling back once more.
Like he’d had a choice whether to stay or leave. Once he’d piqued Malachi’s interest, it was game over.
That was one thing I despised about vampires. They were high-handed, their word law. Even though I’d been a “resident”
of this place for an eternity and had the illusion of freedom, free will was a joke.
“Kyson, fetch my documents”
or “Kyson, clean my room”
or “Kyson, come save my rotten ass from the demon who just tried to gut me.”
Technically, it had been Dane who’d called me, but only after Malachi had asked him to.
Living here wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t treated like a burden. The night Malachi had rescued me, he’d wrapped his cloak around me, lifting me from the table with gentle care. But once I’d physically recovered, I might as well have been a mangy stray.
“How far up Malachi’s ass are you planted?”
I took a bite of the chicken and nearly drooled. I would have kissed Dick for the way he cooked, but in all the time I’d been here, I still hadn’t figured out what he was. He was really good-looking, but wasn’t human because of the whole “eyes glowing”
thing. He could tolerate the sun, so that canceled out vampire. Dick was a nice, laidback guy, so he wasn’t a demon.
One day I would crack his code.
Hopefully I wouldn’t regret finding out.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Dane argued. “Are you implying I’m stuck up his ass?”
“How am I implying it if I outright asked you?”
I glanced at the table. “Where’s our drinks?”
Dane glared at me. “Up Malachi’s ass.”
I frowned at the image now stuck in my head. “That’s… disturbing.”
I grabbed two sodas from my minifridge.
“You have a refrigerator in your bedroom ?”
He stared wide-eyed at me. “Why don’t I have one, and why am I just now noticing yours?”
Because you’re sleeping in Malachi’s room. He would rather have his dick cut off than ruin his vampiric motif.”
I shrugged. “Don’t know and don’t know.”
My mind drifted to Giovanni, and I could almost feel the warmth of his body against mine. I closed my eyes, telling myself to shake off the sensation, but instead, I sank into it. My breaths grew shallow as I imagined him kissing me, like I’d wanted him to do the night we’d met.
But my thoughts latched onto another memory, one that reminded me of the shocked expression on his face after Malachi had brought me here, my body carved up and deeply burned. My mind had been even worse. Although I’d been just as surprised to see him, I’d screamed for him to stay the hell away from me.
At the time, I’d hated, and feared, everyone. Anytime someone knocked on my door, I melted into a full-blown panic, hiding under my bed for hours.
“Are you okay?”
Dane’s soft voice broke through my thoughts, pulling me back to the present. “Do you need…”
The question would remain unfinished. He never wanted to talk about his trauma, and neither did I.
“Yep.”
I opened my soda and swallowed some. “I need to get out. You wanna come along?”
A spark of excitement flared in his eyes before it quickly died out.
“He’s dead,”
I stated, forcing back the rising bile that always rose when I spoke about the demon. “He’s no longer out there searching for you, Dane.”
“I know.”
He pushed his vegetables around his plate. “But just because he’s dead doesn’t mean—”
He curled his lips in as he glanced away.
“That your brain doesn’t still scramble when you think about him?”
My voice was somber while I stared at a small pile of clothes I needed to wash. “Mine, too.”
I cursed, not meaning to say the last part out loud, praying it hadn’t sounded like an invitation to talk about anything demon related.
“I need to get out of this room, this castle. Need to feel normal for a little while.”
I just wouldn’t tell Dane that the thought of the outside world made my insides cold. I used to love getting out, but that was before I’d been possessed. Before Osiris had given me another nightmare to live with. Even so, I desperately wanted to feel the warmth of the sun.
To not feel like a freak for one afternoon.
His gaze darted toward the door. “Malachi is out there, waiting to escort me back to the kitchen. You just want me to leave him standing there?”
In truth, I didn’t fully hate the prince. He had his moments of kindness, though they were few and far between. But I wasn’t a brooding vampire who welcomed solitude. I’d just wanted someone to talk to over the years, to maybe not feel so alone.
Giovanni would’ve talked with you.
Not after Malachi had changed how I smelled, making me repulsive to vampires. None of them could stand to be around me for more than five seconds before they bolted.
Besides, that boat had sailed as far as Giovanni. I would never again feel safe in his arms.
When I noticed Dane studying me, I cleared my throat. “Your choice. I’m dipping out. You can stay in the marbled mausoleum, or we could kick it around town for a while.”
As good as the food tasted, I pushed away my plate and folded my arms on the table.
Dane chewed on his lower lip, indecision clear in his eyes. “You are a bad influence,”
he huffed. “How long are we going to be gone?”
“An hour at most.”
I snorted. “I don’t have any money, so we’ll just bum around.”
“Same.”
He glanced past me. “An hour should be fine.”
He got up and headed toward the door, then opened it. He and Malachi whispered, too low for me to hear. A pinch of jealousy struck me, wishing I had someone special in my life. The scars on my body ached, reminding me I was too hideous to love.
Dane closed the door and returned to the table. “I just bought myself some time.”
My brow arched. “What did you tell the big guy?”
A blush crept over his cheeks. “That you were finally opening up, so it was going to be a while. I told him you would find him when we were done.”
Because walking the halls wasn’t a risk for me like it was for Dane. His scent didn’t send vampires scrambling to get away. But just once, I wished one would hang around so I would have someone to talk to.
“Then let’s not waste time.”
I slowly waved my hand up and down, forming a shimmer that would get us out of there. It was one of the “gifts”
I’d been given when Malachi had shared a negligible part of his powers with me when he’d brought me here. He’d also given me immortality—because who wouldn’t want to live forever in this fucked-up body—and had made me pretty damn strong. Probably so I could fight off any vampires who tried to attack me, but my vampire-funk repellent had taken care of that in spades.
“You never told me how you do that,”
Dane said, his gaze fixed on the rippling air in awe.
“Fairy dust.”
I walked through first, my heart hammering as I emerged into the bright sun. From the alley I could hear cars passing on the street and birds chirping. The sun immediately warmed my skin with its glowing rays. I closed my eyes, soaking it in like a flower that had been deprived for far too long.
Dane ran into my back, disturbing the moment. “What the hell?”
“Why did you stop instead of clearing the way?”
His gaze darted around, apprehension in his eyes. “You knew I was coming out behind you.”
The shadows in the alley felt like they were watching me. I kept staring at them, as if waiting for something to emerge. Now I wasn’t so sure leaving had been a bright idea, but I refused to give in to my fears.
“Are we in Ashwood?”
He snapped his fingers in my face when I continued to stare at the shadows.
“Uh, yeah.”
I tore my gaze away and focused on Dane instead. “I meant to move out of the way. The sun’s warmth highjacked me. My bad.”
“It does feel good.”
He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. “I can already feel my mood growing lighter.”
I wished I could. Between the shadows and my dream, my mood was pretty low. Which was why I needed to get out and walk among people who didn’t hiss and run away from me.
We headed to the street then started down the sidewalk, no destination in mind.
“This place is pretty dead,”
he commented.
“It wasn’t always like this.”
I shoved my hands into my pockets. “Steel mill closed about fifteen years ago, putting a lot of people out of work.”
Dane stopped to look through the window of the closest store. When he turned, he glanced past me with a groan. “Please don’t let that be Deputy Douchebag.”
With a frown, I glanced over my shoulder and saw a police car driving slowly down the street. The number thirty-four was on the front panel. “If you mean Harrington, that’s his cruiser.”
“Shit,”
he grumbled.
“You’ve met him?”
I turned my attention to him, giving the car my back. I’d had a few run-ins with Harrington over the years. He was all brawn with half a brain, acting as if he owned Ashwood.
“Unfortunately,”
he replied. “I was pulled over by Sheriff Whitmore the night I met you.”
He glanced past me again, then looked away. “Deputy Douchebag showed up, making me want to smack him.”
“That sounds about right.”
I turned just a fraction, watching as the car rolled past us. “You’re not the only one he evokes that feeling in. I think half the residents, all twelve of them, feel the same way.”
He chuckled. “There’s more than twelve residents.”
His smile faded. “Isn’t there?”
A horn blasted, causing me to grit my teeth.
Deputy Harrington pulled to the curb beside us. “Just act cool,”
I whispered to Dane.
“How? The day Whitmore and Harrington showed up at the farmhouse, Richard claimed to be my uncle and told them I had delusional tendencies.”
My jaw dropped. “ No . Tell me he didn’t.”
Laughter bubbled up, real and raw, catching me by surprise. I hadn’t laughed in over a month, and it felt good, like I was finally able to breathe again.
Harrington slid out, nodding at a few ladies strolling by, seeming unaffected at the nauseated look they’d given him before hurrying away.
Then he pinned us with a glare like we’d ruined his day by merely existing. “You can’t give me the same creepy smile you gave those women?”
I asked as Harrington approached us. “Seems unfair.”
Dane tucked a few strands of windblown hair behind his ear, looking both irritated and like he’d rather be anywhere else.
Harrington’s eyes sparkled for some reason when he looked at Dane, causing me to inch closer to my friend.
“Well, if it isn’t Mr. Bloody Car. Stopped by your uncle’s place twice, but no one answered.”
The farmhouse was real. It was once you walked inside that it felt like you were hallucinating as you stepped into another dimension. I wasn’t sure how that worked, and when I’d asked a year after arriving, I’d been ignored.
Still, it was pretty cool. When I first discovered the door, I’d run myself into exhaustion. Whenever bored, I walked onto the porch, raced back inside, turned around, and repeated the action until it no longer entertained me.
“Our uncle tends to sleep during the day,”
I interjected. “Since he stays up all night sucking blood from his victims.”
I heard Dane stifle a disbelieving laugh.
Harrington, on the other hand, turned his sharp gaze on me. “Since when do you have an uncle, Kyman?”
He’d never gotten my name right in all the times we’d interacted. Or he was purposely mispronouncing it.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,”
I argued while telling myself to shut the hell up before he found a reason to arrest me.
“Was there something you needed, Deputy?”
Dane asked in a tone that said I needed to press my lips together and let him do all the talking. God, I hated Harrington. A loser who thought he was a big shot. Over the years I’d heard people talk about him.
Harrington was the mayor’s son. Nepotism at its finest.
From what I’d heard around town, being related to the mayor was how he’d gotten the job as deputy. Though, according to some folks, Harrington hadn’t even graduated high school, and Daddy Mayor had gotten him the job mainly to keep his son out of his hair.
I was inclined to believe the rumors. The deputy just had a way of getting under your skin like an itch impossible to scratch.
“We processed your car.”
Harrington’s gaze slid back to Dane. Although I shouldn’t have been worried, a part of me froze. If anyone processed Malachi’s blood, they would discover the truth. Or, at the very least, they’d know something was definitely wrong.
As much as I’d complained about them, the vampires were the only family I had, and I didn’t want anything to happen to them.
Malachi was the worst kind of friend, but I honestly cared about him. It was the same with the others, even if they would probably rejoice if I ever moved out.
Or suck me dry, if I hadn’t stunk so badly to them.
“And?”
Dane asked, clearly irritated. He had his hands on his hips and a hard glare in his eyes.
“I don’t know.”
Harrington shrugged, his gaze sweeping over the streets. “The lab samples mysteriously disappeared.”
“And you think I had something to do with that?”
Dane’s brows shot up, his hands dropping, his arms going limp at his sides.
“Your uncle did say you had…”
Harrington cleared his throat, rolled his shoulders slightly, then frowned. “ Issues .”
I was shocked the guy had used restraint instead of just blurting out something insensitive. How many reprimands had it taken for him to finally realize what an abrasive jerk he was to a lot of people?
The deputy glanced at me.
“Don’t even think about accusing me.”
I held up my hands, palms out. “I wouldn’t know a lab sample if one jumped into my pocket.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
Harrington studied me so hard I felt guilty for a crime I hadn’t even committed. Already I could feel the cuffs clicking into place.
I should’ve stayed home.
Now that I thought about it, Malachi was going to murder me for dragging Dane out of the castle. I’d never seen him so… happy. Well, less crabby, at least.
My arms circled my stomach as Giovanni crossed my mind. Anytime I was nervous or upset, I thought of him, of the night he’d held me close, of the attempts he’d made over the years to get closer, only for me to push him away.
I glanced at Dane and wondered if he carried as many scars on his body as mine held. The only places Osiris hadn’t carved his insanity into were my face and neck, stating he liked his toys to be pretty as he broke them.
A shiver raced through me, despite the warm evening, and now all I wanted was to go home. To lock myself in my room and bury myself under my covers, forgetting a world existed outside my bedroom door.
“I’m inclined to haul the two of you in for questioning.”
Harrington rested his hands on his utility belt, but one of them settled on the butt of his gun.
“You’re questioning us right now,”
Dane squeaked. “What else could you possibly want to know?”
Harrington eyed us, his gaze flicking between me and Dane. “Tell me again how blood got in the backseat of your car.”
There wasn’t anything I could say. Neither Dane nor Richard had told me their cover story, and I didn’t want to open my mouth and screw up whatever they’d told the cops. I slid my gaze to Dane, who stood there, eyes wide, visibly trembling.
Shit. My heart sank. It was clear he couldn’t remember the lie he, or Richard, had told. Dane was drawing a blank as Harrington took a step toward us.