Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
THORNE
We’re quiet for a few minutes, the only sound in the room is our light breathing.
That is, until Chance’s stomach grumbles like he hasn’t eaten all year.
He groans and holds his belly while Warren laughs behind his hand. “Okay, you’ve fucked the nutrients out of me. I need food.”
“You’re a bottomless pit,” Warren says as he crawls over Chance’s body.
Before his feet hit the ground, Chance grabs his hip and brings Warren down for a kiss. “Yeah, but you like it.”
A beautiful blush spreads across Warren’s cheeks as he lowers his blissed-out eyes. “Yeah, I do.”
Something settles inside me, something that hasn’t been tethered to anyone or anything in a long time. Contentment. Looking at the two of them together…I want them forever.
They crawl out of bed and I follow behind them, the three of us shoving into Warren’s shower. It wasn’t the smartest idea, elbows and knees and asses bumping into each other, but we get clean. I’m sure we’ll all have at least a bruise or two to show for it.
Once out of the shower, we all go to the living room, Chance sitting on the floor with his phone in his hand. “What do you want to eat?”
“Sushi,” Warren says, rubbing his belly.
“Fuck yeah!” Chance says, his fingers moving across his screen. “I haven’t had sushi in forever. Not good sushi anyway. The shit at the restaurants near my house isn’t fit for a dog to eat.”
“Pretentious much?” I quip, bumping him in the back with my foot.
He glances over his shoulder, his ever-present smile on his face. “Nah. They add caviar and gold and shit.” He shudders. “Fucking disgusting. I want the sushi that’s not pretentious. Just normal fucking fish and rice and wasabi.”
I pull Warren into my side, and we stretch out on the couch. “I’ve never had sushi before.”
It’s like a scratched record as both of them look at me like I’m a Martian or something. I squirm under their gazes, feeling out of place.
But I hadn’t had time or money as a kid, and I never felt the desire to try new shit when I got older and had the cash to spend. It wasn’t really important.
Now I feel like I’m behind and it makes me uncomfortable.
“Why?” Warren asks.
I shrug, wanting to push him off me so I can hide, but I can’t bring myself to be separated from his warmth.
“Just never did.” I don’t want to go into my childhood right now. Especially after what we just shared. That’s not something I’ll probably ever tell them. It’ll just scare them away.
“That’s fine,” Warren says, kissing my chest. “We can always order something else for you.”
“No…I’ll try it,” I rasp out in a voice I don’t recognize. Why does his comment mean so much to me?
When I look at Chance, his eyes are dancing with challenge. “Okay, bet. I’ll make sure you try allllllll the sushi. Warren, what’s your favorite?”
Warren gives his order and neither of them notice how much their easy acceptance of something as simple as sushi makes me feel at ease and…safe.
After he’s done ordering, Chance scoots over to us, resting his head against the cushion near my head.
Like it’s something he’s done dozens of times before, Warren reaches out and threads his hand through Chance’s hair.
I unwind one of my hands from Warren’s waist and rest it lightly on Chance’s shoulder, thumbing over his opposite collarbone.
Chance flicks on the television and we watch some medical drama that he seems obsessed with.
It’s all so…normal. So normal and fucking scary. But I don’t want to leave, don’t want to push them away.
I need them. That part of me that’s scared shitless fucking preens as these two men mend me back together.
Over the past few years, I’ve had Knox, Pyro and Orion when I needed companionship, but none of them could give me this. We all had our shit, all had our reason to see Bensotti as a surrogate father.
They’re all broken like me.
Warren and Chance are light. They’re good. They don’t need someone to piece them together with cement and glue. I’ll do nothing but bring trouble down on them. I’ll taint them.
But I can’t leave.
The doorbell rings about twenty minutes later. Chance shoots me a smile before getting up and rubbing his hands together. “We’re gonna have the best time watching you try sushi.”
It is a good time. Some of them are better than others, but overall, it’s not bad. The company is even better.
After Warren pops a piece of California roll into his mouth, he says, “I might have to leave for a few days.”
“When?” Chance asks, spreading wasabi over some sashimi.
“I’m not sure. My sister is having trouble with her ex-husband.”
My ears perk up and I narrow my eyes. “What kind of trouble?”
The corners of Warren’s mouth turn down. “She said he found out where she lives and has been driving by, being a nuisance. Cops won’t do anything until he actually hurts her. I have to go and protect her or at least scare him away.”
Warren is the least threatening person I know, so I’m not sure he’ll do much besides make his ex-brother-in-law mad.
With a soft, devious smile, he says, “I had to punch him the last time I was there. He knows not to mess with me.”
“You punched someone?” Chance asks, looking at Warren with new eyes. “I can’t believe it. Rumble in the jungle with you, huh?”
Warren barks a laugh, his cheeks pink. “I don’t like people messing with those I care about.”
He looks at us pointedly and that warm feeling settles in my chest again. Just like I’ll protect them, I know he and Chance will do the same for me. It’s a novel feeling that someone other than my brothers will go to bat for me.
“You said she lives in Florida?” I ask, remembering one of our past conversations.
“That’s where we’re from,” he says with a nod. “She’s a few hours from our hometown.”
Florida isn’t a small state, but Orion can get to wherever she lives with no issue. I’ll just have to owe him a favor.
I don’t like that Warren’s family might be in danger. It’ll just make him worry and he might get hurt the next time he tries to defend his sister. Then again, most of us fight harder for family.
Warren tosses a napkin on the table, crossing his arms over his chest. “He’s a piece of shit. I tried to tell her before they married, but she loved him. I just…just wish he’d leave her alone for good. She doesn’t deserve to live in fear of what he’ll do.”
Chance slides closer to Warren, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “You’re right. I don’t have siblings, but I’d imagine I’d want to help them too. Let me know if you need anything. We’ll help, right, Thorne?”
I wipe the murderous look off my face and smirk slightly. “Of course. But let me make a phone call. I have a friend in Florida that might be able to help your sister.”
“Help her how?” Warren asks warily. “With, like, self-defense?”
“Something like that,” I say as I pull my phone out.
“She’s newly divorced Thorne. She doesn’t need some guy that tries to hit on her under the guise of protection.”
I want to tell Warren that Orion isn’t interested in women, but I’m not sure that’s exactly the truth.
I don’t think he’s interested in anyone.
In the time we were all together while training with Bensotti, we divulged our sexual orientation.
Pyro and I are gay and Knox is pan. Orion just shrugged and changed the subject.
Going the route I think is safest, I say, “He’s unavailable, so he won’t try to hit on Emma.”
He won’t even talk to Emma if he does what I want him to do.
I take my call outside, pressing Orion’s contact.
“What?” he answers distractedly. “I’m trying to crack this fucking hard drive and you’re interrupting.”
“Good evening to you too, sunshine,” I deadpan.
“What do you need, Thorne?”
“A favor.”
“A body?”
“Yeah.”
“Where?” I tell him the city and I hear him hum. “That’s about an hour away. Who?”
“Ex-husband of the sister of one of my boyfriends.”
“Which one?”
“The professor.”
He hums again. “Text me all the details. You want him dead?”
“Yep. But I need him found, you got me?”
“Understood. Accident?”
“Nope.”
“Perfect.”
The entire time we’re speaking, Orion’s voice doesn’t change at all. He’s so dry. But that’s why I like him. He puts up no pretenses for anyone and doesn’t care if you’re put off by him.
We talk a little more and I tell him I’ll get back to him when I have all the details for him. Soon, Emma won’t have to worry about her ex-husband ever again.
When I step back inside, I’m greeted with the sight of Warren laughing as Chance tells an animated story. They’re so sweet and so oblivious of what I do, of who my brothers are.
I lean against the wall, watching the two of them, wishing I was clean, wishing I was better for them.
Will they ever know the real me? Who I am outside of the time I spend with them?
What will happen when they discover my secret life? Will they leave me when they find out?
No, not when, if. If they find out.
If I have anything to do with it, they never will.
Bensotti just wants me to wipe out this ring, get rid of this group of sick motherfuckers. When I’m done, maybe I can be normal. Maybe I can be clean for them.
Until then, I’ll pretend I’m a normal college student, someone that lives a normal life.
Just so I can enjoy being with them a little while longer.
Chance looks over at me, waving me over. “Why are you staring like a weirdo?”
Smirking, I sit down and stack our trash up.
Chance grabs my hand, looking at my nails. “When did you start painting your nails?”
I swallow roughly, bile swirling in my belly. Memories assail me, but I push them away with force, not wanting to bring up the past while around my guys. “My sister started. I was already leaning more toward the goth style and she suggested it. She painted them the first time.”
“That’s sweet,” Warren says, his hand on his chest.
Would they think it’s sweet if they knew what happened later? Would they think I was sweet if they know what I did?
Chance saves me from my spiral as he looks at my hand, brow dipped in concentration. “I think I can pull off black.”
I give him a look. “You can’t pull off nail polish, period, Golden.”
“Oh yeah?” He pulls his phone out and fiddles with it for a bit. When he puts it away, he’s wearing a triumphant smile. “We’ll see in eighteen minutes.”
Exactly eighteen minutes later, the doorbell rings and Chance rushes to answer. He comes back with a bag from a drug store.
Sitting back down, he dumps the contents and there’s nail polish remover, cotton balls, black nail polish, and blue polish.
I pick up the blue, frowning in disgust. “Why?”
Chance shrugs. “I might like it better than black. Come on, do me.”
My eyes grow heavy lidded as I think about how good it feels to do him. “Pick your words wisely, Golden or I’ll bend you over this table and give you exactly what you want.”
A shudder runs through his body, but he shakes his head. “None of that. I want my nails painted, Thorne.” He pushes the black toward Warren. “Do this hand in black for me.”
Pulling my lip ring between my teeth to fight a smile, I paint his left hand blue while Warren does his right. Chance grins the whole time, doing a little happy dance while we work.
When we finish, he looks down at them, turning his head left and right.
Sighing, he says, “You’re right. I can’t pull it off.
My hands are all long and spindly. I look like a damn witch coming to take someone’s children to boil in a cauldron.
” He hooks his hands like claws and an unexpected laugh bursts from my lips.
Warren grins and takes one of Chance’s hands. “You actually have really nice hands. Big, but gentle.” He places Chance’s palm against his cheek and my fucking heart melts. God, these two.
Chance thumbs over his cheek before kissing him quickly. “Thanks. But I’m gonna remove it. Only Thorne can pull it off without effort.” He looks at me, sizing me up. “Maybe it’s because you look like you’ll stuff someone in a body bag while they’re still alive.”
He doesn’t know how right he is.
While Chance removes his polish, Warren takes the black polish and touches up my nails. I watch as he just does it without even thinking about it, like he wants to make sure I look good.
I hold my breath as I watch him, feeling more cared for than I have in my entire life.
When my left hand is done, he slides the polish over to Chance, who does my right. Tightness fills my chest as Chance bends over my hand, carefully painting the black over the cracks.
They accept me for who I am. They see my style, my aesthetic and roll with it. They don’t try to change me or make me into something I’m not.
It’s more than I thought I’d ever have. After Summer, I thought I was forever broken, meant to be alone because my personality and my need for isolation were too strong.
But these men, these two amazing men didn’t let my shitty attitude or go the fuck away vibe get to them.
Their happiness and their light bulldozed the darkness taking up residence in my heart.
I hope if they find out the truth, they’ll still accept me.
“Next,” Chance says before blowing on my nails, “I’m going to try eyeliner.”
“They’ll bring out the color in your eyes,” Warren jokes and I can’t help a small chuckle.