Chapter Seven #2
The room spread before her, a cavernous expanse that stretched endlessly, cloaked in an oppressive monotony of dull gray.
The walls bore no adornments, no hint of life or personality, just the cold, industrial chill of utilitarian design.
Their smooth, unyielding surface reflected the faint sheen of the overhead lights, though the glow itself felt muted, swallowed by the space's lifelessness.
Beneath his boots, the floor mirrored this same stark grayness, its hard texture echoing with each step he took.
In the corner of this desolate scene stood the only break in uniformity- the dark wooden enclosure.
Its rich mahogany tones stood out defiantly against the drab surroundings.
The sturdy planks formed a pen, their edges worn smooth by time and use.
Inside, Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr shuffled, their hooves clicking against the wood.
The scents of metal mingled with the smell of fresh hay and the pellets the goats ate.
She wasn't sure what to say about him wanting to teach her self-defense.
If she told him Val was a Valkyrie and had taught her to fight for years, he would become suspicious and wonder why she hadn't defended herself earlier.
But how did she tell him she knew how to fight without telling him why she didn't fight back?
About how the beatings and abuse at her father's hands caused her freeze response to take over every inch of her body, almost any time someone touched her.
But… maybe self-defense was different from fighting. Maybe she might actually learn how to stick up for herself.
Thor walked to a corner, pulled several large red items out, and dropped them onto the floor before unfolding them and laying them out.
"Come over to the mats." He motioned her over.
"Should I remove my shoes?"
He shook his head. "You need to be wearing whatever you might be wearing if someone tries to touch you without your permission again. That way, you will feel most familiar when it happens."
She stepped on the springy mats. She bounced on the balls of her feet and crossed to Thor and stopped.
Thor thought for a moment. "To do this, I'm gonna have to touch you, all right?"
Her throat dried, but she nodded.
"First, I want to do what happened to you earlier. I'm gonna grab you around the waist." He waited.
He what? He was going to wrap his body around her body. Touch her?
Her heartbeat kicked up, and a trickle of fear dripped down her back.
Her core warmed as her magic pulsed inside her, ready to defend like always.
She took in a deep, slow, calming breath.
She could do this. She could do this. No magic explosions.
No, letting him see her true nature. She had to learn control.
If she couldn’t control it in front of the one person she needed to most, then what chance did she have of learning to use it at all?
She turned away from him, and he approached. Her heartbeat galloped as his warm breath tickled her skin and made it pebble. He brushed the hair from her neck, and she swallowed hard as her limbs shook. Her magic flared, but she pulled it back, shoving it down.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and applied gentle pressure. "Where were your arms when he grabbed you?"
Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr bleated and jumped at the fencing of their pen.
"Knock it off. I'm not going to hurt her," Thor called.
Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr continued to bleat, unconvinced.
“You know I won’t hurt you, right?”
She wanted to say yes, but she couldn’t. It was a lie. If he found out the truth about who she was, she had no idea what he would do.
His arms loosened. “I won’t hurt you, Elle. We don’t have to do this if-”
She shook her head. “No… I want to. I… need to.”
Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr kicked at the gate to their enclosure.
Thor snorted. “Maybe you should tell them you’re fine. They don’t believe me.”
Elle looked at the goats as they began trying to climb out. “I’m okay, guys. I’m okay.”
They both stood on their hind legs, looking over the edge of their pen like protective older brothers.
Thor snorted. “I’ve had them for centuries, and yet they worry more for your safety than mine. I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
“Maybe it’s because they’ve read the stories about you.”
Thor didn’t move for a moment, and then he burst into a deep booming laugh that made her smile.
“That was a good one. You’re witty. I like that.”
The tension between them eased, and she relaxed.
“All right, you ready?”
She had no idea, but she nodded anyway.
Thor's powerful arms enveloped her waist once more, and a wave of warmth surged through her that had nothing to do with her magic. Her thoughts muddied with sensations she'd never encountered. An intense heat suffused her skin, while her stomach danced. Not anxiety. Something altogether different.
The low rumble of his breath resonated in the silence, rhythmic like distant thunder. The press of him against her back solid and reassuring.
A scent lingered around them. The fresh aroma reminiscent of rain-soaked earth mingled with a hint of ozone.
Thor said something, and she cleared her thoughts and focused on what they were doing.
“What?”
“Where were your arms when he grabbed you?”
"Uh..." Concentrate girl. He'll think you're an idiot if you can't keep your head while he is trying to teach you. "In front of me."
"And what were you holding?"
"The tray."
"Right. You have options, but I'm gonna teach you a few of the easiest."
Her heart pounded so hard she was sure he felt it through her back. He tightened his hold like hardbound ropes. His warm chest hit her back as her body relaxed into him.
For a moment, wave after wave of warmth crashed over her like the heated waves of the ocean back home.
"Ready?" Thor asked close to her ear.
She nodded, trying to gain control of her mind and body.
"First, throw your head back and smash me in the face," said Thor. "A broken nose is a great way to make someone let go of you. Try it."
She shook her head. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Trust me. I'll dodge. But the guy grabbing you won't because he won't expect it. Go on. Throw your head back hard and quick."
Elle closed her eyes and leaned her head back until it rested on his shoulder.
"Uh... no," he said. "You aren't using me as a pillow. Faster and harder. If you do it like that, they are more likely to think you are enjoying it."
Elle took a deep breath and tried again. This time, she whipped her head back and caught Thor on the right cheek.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry."
"No," said Thor. "No, that was perfect. You're faster than I thought you'd be."
She peeked over her shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Though if I'd been a fraction slower, I'd have a broken nose right now. Well done."
He smiled, and her heart squeezed. It was a genuine, broad, toothy smile that made her smile in return. She liked the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. And she noticed a dimple she’d not seen before. Every moment she looked at him, he grew more and more handsome. How was that possible?
"All right. So, if someone grabs you, the first thing you can do is throw your head back.
The second option is to use your elbow or the tray in your hand.
Like with your head, you can throw your elbow back and catch the guy in the nose, eye, throat, ribs, it doesn't matter.
Any of those hits will make him let go."
"But... won't it make him angry? Won't he strike me?"
"Not if he knows what's good for him." Thor's eyes flashed with deadly lightning.
"You need to stop being scared of what they might do to you if you fight back and worry more about what they might do to you if you don't."
Elle knew all too well what happened when she didn't fight back. She'd had the bruises, cuts, and welts to prove it at one time or another.
Val had brought her to Midgard to become a new person. The person she wanted to be. And the person she wanted to be was strong. So fighting back was something she needed to learn.
"Here." Thor turned her to face him and put his hand on her shoulder. "Push my hands off and tell me no."
She brushed his hand away. "No, thank you."
Thor shook his head. "Say it forcefully. And don't say thank you. Tell me no."
She took a deep breath and pushed his hand a bit harder. "No."
"I didn't believe you for a minute." He put both hands on her shoulders. "Push my hand off and say, 'Don't touch me'."
She pushed his hand. "Please, don't touch me."
"No!" His voice rose, making her jump. "There. That right there, that's the problem. You're scared of everything."
Elle dropped her gaze. She didn't want to look weak in front of him. But she wasn't sure what he would do if she showed him what she was fully capable of.
A moment passed, and then Thor tilted her chin up.
"Someone hurt you.”
She swallowed hard as her eyes filled with tears. Memories flooded her.
The time her father found her sneaking food from the kitchen, and had forced it all into her mouth at once, causing her to choke until she threw up.
Then he'd thrown her to the ground and made her clean it up with her bare hands. The time he’d told her to dance for his men and when she hadn’t, he’d kicked her to the floor.
The time one of his men had grabbed her, and her father had laughed at her, letting him grope her instead of helping her.
"Elle?"
Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr kicked and bleated again, pulling her from her thoughts.
Her gaze whipped up as the memories faded. Thor's eyes flashed silver again, and he pulled her into his arms. His soft T-shirt pressed against her cheek, and she couldn't help but wrap her arms around his back and cling to him.
She'd never talked about the abuse. Not even with Val. Everyone in the kingdom knew what she'd suffered, but no one said anything. No one did anything. Only Val had taken to teaching her to fight. Aside from that, no one in her father's kingdom had cared.
A moment passed, and she relaxed into him, the sensation strange. For the first time in her life, she felt safe. Like no matter what happened, she would be protected… but there was something more… something deeper…
"All right," said Thor. "Let's start differently. What is the worst thing that could happen if you fight back?"
"They could hurt me," she said.
"But you've been hurt before. Being hurt is horrible, but you’ve lived through it, and so you know what that feels like, and now you don’t want to feel it again, correct?"
"True." She never admitted it to anyone before.
"Now it's time to make sure you have the tools you need to keep it from happening again. What if by fighting back, you can keep it from happening again? Wouldn’t that be worth it, knowing if you do nothing, you will definitely be hurt?”
“You’re right.”
“Okay, so, the first thing is to make sure you know you deserve better and are able to tell someone no, and mean it, and have them listen. Now, tell me no, and push away from me and mean it."
Elle chewed her lip. "No." She tried to push from his grip, but he held her fast. "It didn't work."
Thor glowered at her. "Did you mean it?"
"N... no," she stammered. "I like it when you hug me." The words tumbled from her mouth before she stopped them. Her cheeks heated.
Thor's eyebrows rose, and something changed between them. Suddenly, heat sparked her skin once more. Thor's hand splayed on her back, sending warmth down her thighs.
He leaned in, and Elle's heart beat so fast she thought she might pass out. His lips moved closer to hers, and she sucked in a breath and held it.
Kiss her. Was he going to-
Before she finished the thought, his lips pressed to hers lightly. He pulled her closer, and she gripped the back of his shirt.
Kissed. She was being kissed. For the first time in her life. And by Thor, God of Thunder.
His lips pressed harder against hers and parted them. The tip of his tongue licked her bottom lip, making her gasp.
He pulled away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have."
"Why?"
"Because I am trying to teach you to stand up for yourself and be assertive, and I go and kiss you. I apologize."
"No," she said.
His brow creased. "No?"
"I don't want you to apologize. I don’t want you to be sorry."
A smile curved his lips. "Now if only you'd be that forceful when you're telling a different man not to touch you."
She smiled.
Thor picked up the locket she hadn't realized had slipped out of her shirt.
"What's this?"
Elle plucked it from his fingers. "A locket I made. It has my mother's portrait in it."
Thor touched the locket again. "You made this?"
She nodded. "With my own two hands."
He stared at it for a moment. "It's beautifully crafted. How did you learn to make it?"
"I... uh... I taught myself. I picked up metal scraps and... just made it."
He stared at it for a moment. "Have you made anything else?"
She shrugged. "A few things, but nothing with this complexity. The hinge was especially difficult to get right."
He inspected the locket. "You could sell things like this."
"Really?" She loved creating jewelry and working with gems. Would people want to buy her work?
"If you taught yourself to make something like this and it's one of your first tries, you have quite a gift."
Elle smiled and put the locket back into her shirt. A talent. She had a talent. It was the first time anyone had said that.