Chapter Twelve
The dinner with his family went better than Thor expected.
Fenrir didn't try to rip Vidarr apart for the first time.
Neither Hodr nor Baldur brought up the fact that it was Loki's fault that Hodr had shot Baldur.
Frigg and Odin talked like old friends, not exes.
And Hermodr didn't try to reveal any of the family's ancient secret messages. Even his brother Vali didn’t try spouting his peace, yoga, and tea philosophy to everyone. All in all, it was peaceful.
When dessert was served, Thor leaned over to Elle. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
She smiled at him. "I never knew family gatherings could be like this."
"Noisy?"
"Fun. You and your family are... normal. No shouting. No fights. No force watching couples have sex."
"What?" Who would do such a thing?
"Oh, I was never a participant, not that anyone would have wanted me. But I was forced to remain in the room."
Thor gripped the arm of his chair tight enough that he thought it might crack. "I said you didn't need to tell me about your past, but if you do, I can't promise you I won't kill every person who ever hurt you."
She gave him a tight smile.
They finished their dessert, and Elle and Meili began clearing the dishes.
"Let me help." Thor stood, but she took the plate from his hand.
"You sit. I can do this."
"But you're my guest."
"Then, as your guest, I expect you to give me what I want. And what I want is for you to sit while I clear the dishes." She turned on her heels and headed for the kitchen.
Thor watched her go and sipped his ale. He loved the soft way her hips swished as she moved. So graceful. So mesmerizing. And in a red silk dress, it was like watching flames.
Watching her and Meili standing at the kitchen sink, washing dishes and talking, she fit in naturally. As if she'd always been there, not meeting most of them for the first time. Better than he’d ever fit in, and he’d had a lot of time to try.
His family moved about the space. Several of his brothers began a game of cards while a few others went to sit around the fire pit outside.
Thor took a swig of ale, watching Elle across the room and wondering how it had taken him so long to find her. A second mug appeared in front of him, and the chair next to him pulled out, as Hodr sat down.
Hodr stared at Thor with his sightless eyes.
It still surprised Thor how well his brother had adjusted to losing his sight.
He’d worried about Hodr when they’d first moved to Helheim, but he’d become accustomed to it quickly, even taking to opening his own small library of ancient texts from different civilizations, and teaching at a local college in Los Angeles twice a week.
"I'm surprised you came." Hodr swigged his ale.
"It was time." Thor’s gaze travelled back to Elle, who smiled and laughed at something Meili said. Jealousy coursed through him, wanting to be the one who made Elle laugh. The only one.
"You care for this one," Hodr said finally. "You care a lot."
Thor glanced at his brother. It still astounded him how someone who had no physical sight saw so much. They’d never spoken about it, but he often wondered if Frigg had bespelled him because she felt guilty that Vali had been born only to kill him and avenge the death of Baldur.
"I do," Thor admitted.
Hodr nodded and laid his hand on Thor's shoulder. "It's good you've found happiness and made peace with the past. You would have missed out on something amazing with her if you hadn't."
Thor blinked at Hodr. "What do you mean?"
"With Surtr. Forgiving him for Ragnarok, and realizing it had to come about. I mean, if nothing else, it allowed us to come here, and you to find her."
Thor's mind whirled. "What are you talking about? I haven't forgiven Surtr. I will still avenge us for what he did."
Hodr’s eyes narrowed. "Is she aware of that?"
Thor looked at Hodr, then at Elle, and back to Hodr. Dread snaked through his gut.
"Why would Elle care about my plans to avenge us with Surtr?"
Hodr's eyes widened, and an expression of guilt mixed with shame crossed his face.
Thor's throat dried.
Elle’s abnormally warm skin. Her raw, untapped power.
A strange connection between them. Her flaming hair.
The golden flecks in her eyes. The way Frigg had taken her in.
The way Odin had known her. The way Val didn’t seem to like him, and her need to protect Elle from him.
And now Hodr. Hodr, who couldn't see with eyes, but saw beyond what others did.
Frigg’s words floated back to him.
"Be careful."
"I am not going to hurt her."
"I didn't mean her. I meant you.”
No. It wasn't possible. Couldn't be.
"She's a fire giant," Thor said.
Hodr stared at him unblinkingly, pain crossing his face.
“Tell me,” Thor commanded.
Hodr didn’t speak.
Thor grabbed his wrist and squeezed. “Tell me what you saw.” It wasn’t a command, but it came close.
Hodr sighed and removed his wrist from Thor’s grip before running it through his hair. "She's Surtr's daughter. Can't you sense the power flowing through her? The faint smell of smokiness to her skin."
Thor got up from the table so fast his chair tipped backward and crashed to the floor. His heartbeat slammed inside him. His temples throbbed as the lights flickered.
Everyone stopped moving. Lightning crackled outside, and thunder rolled across the top of the building. Time slowed as Elle turned and their eyes connected.
Surtr's daughter. Elle is Surtr's daughter.
The smile she wore fell. Lightning hit the floor next to him, knocking Hodr out of his chair.
"Thor!" Odin yelled. "Enough."
Val jumped in front of Elle. Twin silver and golden blades protruded from her wrist bracelets. Val... Valkyrie. How had he not seen it? How had he been blinded?
Loki stepped next to Val, his eyes darkening, and a faint glow of blue magic appeared in his hand.
"Did all of you know?" Thor yelled. "Am I the only one not in on the joke?"
Elle took a step forward, but Meili pulled her back and whispered something in her ear.
Thunder rolled louder above the building.
"Thor." Frigg moved gracefully toward him. "It's not like that. Elle's mother was a dear friend who Surtr kidnapped at Ragnarok. We thought she had died. When Val sent me word about Elle, I had to help. I loved her mother like a sister. And Val is a Valkyrie. One of our own."
Thor looked to her. "You. You're the one who told me to come to your masquerade. You knew she would be there. You knew we would meet."
"Your fate and the fate of the fire giants have been tied together since the beginning of time. Did I know it would be Surtr's daughter who would heal your heart? No. I only knew someone would. And that someone would be from the house of Surtr."
"And you," he said to Odin. "You knew who she was when you saw us together, didn't you?"
Odin crossed his sinewy arms over his chest. “Yes."
Thor's heart pounded so loud it rivaled the thunder booming overhead. They knew. They all knew. And no one told him.
His gaze met Elle's, and tears welled in her eyes. He wanted to go to her. To tell her it didn't matter. He didn't care who her father was. That he loved her and that was all that mattered. But he couldn't.
Thor grabbed his hammer from inside his jacket and pointed it skyward before anyone spoke. His feet lifted from the floor and disappeared into the sky.
* * *
Elle stood paralyzed. Unable to do anything more than watch Thor disappear.
She wasn't sure how he'd found out the truth; she was only upset that he hadn't found out about it from her.
She should have told him the truth. Should have forced him to listen and let her tell him who she was.
Maybe he would have reacted the same, maybe he wouldn't have.
It didn't matter; all that mattered was that he thought his entire family had lied to him.
That she had lied to him. And now… he was gone.
Elle set down the dish towel she'd been using and walked toward the exit.
Val grasped her arm. Elle stared at her for a moment.
"I should have told him."
Val's mouth opened and closed several times. Her eyes held compassion Elle had never seen before.
Elle peered around the group and offered a weak smile. "Thank you all for a lovely meal. I think I should go." She curtsied low, though every fiber of her body told her she wasn’t worthy of anything more than groveling for their forgiveness.
"Elle, stay," said Frigg. "Thor will move beyond this. Trust me."
Elle nodded. "Thank you, Lady Frigg, but I think I'd like to go back to my apartment."
"I'll take you," said Val.
Elle held up her hand, stopping her friend. "I don't want you to miss out."
"Let me take you," Meili offered.
Elle shook her head. "I'll be fine."
She turned for the door, her limbs heavy and her gut hollow. She’d lost him. She’d been so afraid she’d lose him if she told him, but not telling him had been a thousand times worse. Now she had ruined not only her relationship with Thor but also his family’s relationships as well.
Frigg walked to her side and linked her arm with Elle’s. "I’ll go. I have to go pick up a few things at the Raven Weaver anyway."
Elle wanted to protest, but Frigg was right; she shouldn't go alone, plus she wasn't sure she'd find her way back.
"Thank you, Lady Frigg."
"Frigg. Or Auntie Frigg, if you prefer. I meant what I said. Your mother was like a sister to me."
Elle nodded.
The two walked out the door and back through Valhalla's Throne to Helheim.
Elle didn't notice anyone or anything on her way.
All she saw was the look in Thor's eyes when he realized who she was.
Nothing had ever cut her so deep. Not even a beating from her father had hurt as much as the pain and rage in Thor's eyes.
"Would you like me to take you to Thor's so you can talk?"
"No," Elle said. "Thank you, but I think it's best that I give him some space."
"He'll come around," said Frigg as they walked onto the street. "He's in shock. But he will realize what he feels for you is real, and he'll calm down. If he can forgive Loki for everything he's ever done, Thor can forgive you for not telling him who your father is."
Elle's gut clenched, and tears welled again. She wasn’t so sure.
They walked down the dark street, and with every step, a sense of dread washed over her. She didn't know what to think. What to feel. What to do.
"Thor's always had a lot put on his shoulders, and the destruction of Asgard is something he's never been able to forgive himself for."
"But it was prophesied. Nothing could have changed it."
"True. But you must also realize Thor isn't used to losing. He was the golden son. Odin's favorite. That meant in his eyes to keep favor, he had to be the best, always."
"No one can do that."
Frigg nodded. "That's the pressure Odin placed on him every single day. To be the best. To be the hero of Asgard. The savior of his people. And in Thor's eyes, he failed."
"No wonder he's cut himself off so much."
Frigg sighed. "I've tried for centuries to get him to realize he is more than Thor Odinson.
I had hoped coming here and getting out of Valhalla would help him find his own path.
Be who he wanted to be. And in a small way, it has, though not completely.
But when you arrived... For the first time, I saw the possibility of a future for him.
You are exactly what he needs, Elle. He will see that. "
Elle gave Frigg a stiff smile as they reached the entrance to The Raven Weaver. She hoped more than anything Frigg was right, but she couldn’t bank on it. In the whole of her life, she’d never gotten anything she dreamed of.
Elle walked through the portal to Midgard. She hiked up the stairs, her body heavier than ever. She paused, noticing Heimdall wasn't in his usual spot, but didn't think much of it. Even Heimdall needed a break every once in a while.
She continued heading to her apartment. Halfway up the stairs, she took off her heels, giving her feet a much-needed break from the torture.
She stared at the floor as she headed toward her door and paused, remembering what lay inside. Her unmade bed. Memories of making love to Thor. The scent of him on her pillows. The emptiness where his arms held her close. All things that would pummel her until there was nothing left.
She thought about going to Val's room instead, but decided against it. She didn’t want to be a burden if Val brought Loki home with her.
Elle pushed open her door, and the scent that hit had her backing up in a heartbeat, but she wasn't fast enough. Before she could scream, strong arms covered her mouth and yanked her into the apartment.