Chapter 21 A New Fear – Amara
A NEW FEAR
AMARA
THE SIGHT OF Vexar’s horns rising between my thighs is the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen, and I add it to the growing list of things about him that are both new and strangely familiar.
The deep rumble of his voice, the reverence in his gaze, the feeling of his rough hands on my skin; all of it seems to spark some distant familiarity.
Like I’ve already lived this in a dream.
What started as a clumsy exploration is no longer clumsy. My eyes roll back as his hand digs into my hip, holding me tightly. Tension builds and flutters as he moves—finding what makes me moan but never lingering long enough to push me over the edge.
I knit my fingers into his hair and manage to ask, “Are you trying to tease me?”
He responds by slowing his pace further.
“Fuuuck.” He’s not a tease, he’s a jerk. A big, beautiful jerk. And somehow, he’s my perfect match. He’s not intimidated by me, or overly sensitive to my snark, and damn, he’s good with his mouth.
I’m nearing combustion at his gentle exploration, but no matter how much I roll my hips, or how hard I pull on his horns—holy shit, I’m pulling on his horns—he keeps his languid pace.
I think he’s intentionally avoiding my clit, and nothing I do earns me anything more than a gentle flick.
My body is coiled like a spring—muscles tense, sweat glistening, breath heavy and narrow.
“Please,” I beg, “just a little higher.”
He laughs. He fucking laughs!
Ok. So he knows exactly what he’s doing.
“Is this payback for the pain I put you through?” I groan. He flicks his tongue over my clit, and I shout, “Please!” I’ve become nothing more than a needy, pliant beggar, but at this point, I’ll beg shamelessly if it means I get some sort of release from this carnal torture.
He flicks his tongue again, making my vision blur.
“Holyfuckingshit,” I moan.
“I love feeling your pleasure,” he growls. “I could live down here, tasting you and feeling your ecstasy build.”
Fuck. I forgot he can feel my pleasure. Which means he can also feel the edge he’s been holding me on… Why does that make this so much hotter?
The warm pads of his fingers press into my hips, and suddenly he’s dragging me to the edge of the bed. He drops to his knees like he’s about to pray, and the altar’s my cunt. How the hell did I end up here?
His molten gaze heats my skin as he spreads my thighs, exposing me fully and gazing down at my bare sex like he hasn’t just had his mouth all over it.
“What do you call this?” he asks, pressing a finger against my clit and rubbing gentle circles over it.
“My”—gasp—“clit.”
His eyes flick up. “I like this … clit.”
“Yeah, me too,” I manage.
“And just to confirm, if I continue what I am doing,” he says, still rubbing, “you will reach a point of … heightened pleasure?”
Oh. Right. He’s asking if humans can orgasm. Why didn’t I consider that we might be different in that way? “Yeah,” I say. “We call it orgasming, or climaxing, or coming, or … uh, we have a lot of terms for it.”
He nods, brows furrowed, taking this lesson very seriously. “The same is true for me.” His head tilts. “And human males have a”—he glances away, looking for the right word—“penis?”
“They do.”
“And it is expected that this penis penetrates”—he moves his finger down slightly, but doesn’t press into me—“here?”
I’m shaking, but I manage to say, “Yup.”
“I understand,” he says. His long arm pulls a limp pillow off the bed, and he uses it to prop my head up. “I would like to see your face when you … orgasming.”
“Just ‘orgasm’,” I say, trying not to chuckle.
He smiles. “When you orgasm.” The way his black eyes are lit up with excitement, and the soft smile that curls his lips, make him look like a completely different person. There’s no careful facade or calculated expression. He’s completely bare, and my heart swells.
I don’t want to die.
Holding my gaze, he loops his arms around my thighs, locking me in place.
“Do not look away,” he orders in a commanding tone that shatters the moment of vulnerability and sends a pulse of lust and defiance through me.
“This is some king shi—”
He interrupts me with a flick of his tongue, and I howl. I’m throbbing, swollen, and so sensitive I think I might pass out, and he’s fucking smiling. The combination of black eyes and that nearly sadistic smile sends a pleased shiver down my spine. Then he proceeds with focused purpose.
“Mmf … fuck,” I groan as his tempo increases and his arms tighten around my hips.
I feel trapped in the best way possible.
The mixture of danger and pleasure is building a wild tension in my body.
I know he won’t hurt me, but it’s clear he’s the deadliest person I’ve ever met, and he’s eating me out like I’m the only meal he’s ever had.
His mouth wraps over my clit, and he pulses his tongue until I’m seeing stars. Every second stretches into a lifetime as my pleasure builds.
Slowly, I sink deeper into his gaze, like I’m being hypnotized.
Those fathomless black depths speaking to me.
Beckoning me higher until I’m balanced on a tightrope, just a gentle breeze away from falling into the depths of release below.
A shudder rolls through me, and I start to lose myself in the building tension.
Then he stops.
I force my eyes open, confused and angry. “What the—”
“You closed your eyes,” he says with a satisfied smirk.
My mouth drops open. “You’re serious?” He raises a brow, and I shake my head in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?” But even as I say the words, I’m inwardly smiling, loving our weird little dynamic.
“You will keep them open?” he asks, his accent thicker than it has been all day. I give him a reluctant nod, and he says, “Good, human.”
Pressing my lips together, I suck in a deep breath, trying to calm the heat burning my skin. “I’m going to regret telling you that, aren’t I?”
He grins. “Maybe.”
I go to jab him with my toe, but before I can even really move my foot, it’s in his hand.
How in the hell …?
I’m still blinking away my surprise when he tosses my leg back over his shoulder, and with a grunting laugh, dives back between my legs.
A few seconds later, I feel the tip of a finger and gasp.
I’m expecting claws, but I don’t feel any, and when I glance at his other hand on my thigh, the claws are gone, replaced by dark, blunt nails.
He raises a single brow as his finger barely presses into me, and I answer the question he doesn’t have to ask.
“Yes,” I moan.
The darkness in his eyes seems to swirl as he slowly works into me, the decadent fullness racking my body with impossible pleasure.
Oh. My. God.
I didn’t know I had the ability to feel this much.
“Fuck… ” The building pressure of my looming release hits an impossible peak.
“Give me your pleasure, Amara,” he growls.
And I shatter.
Endless, pulsating waves of pure ecstasy consume me. My eyes are still open, but my vision’s gone black. I’m in an uncontrolled free-fall, tumbling and crashing through every peak and valley as Vexar’s strong hands anchor me in place.
I don’t know how long we’re like this—him holding me steady, pushing my body to its limits, and me riding an endless climax—but eventually I come back to reality and my vision returns. I find Vexar, face flushed and forehead glistening as he laps lazily between my legs.
“Gods, that was beautiful,” he moans before climbing onto the bed, pulling me with him as he flops onto his back.
“You are really, really good at that,” I say, burying my face against his chest and inhaling the scent of his sweat-damp skin.
Fuck, this feels good. I haven’t felt this safe or cared for in a long time.
“Your claws disappeared,” I add, still in a haze of endorphins as I run a hand over the ripples of his abs, and towards the top of his pants.
He catches my hand and presses a kiss to my fingers. “They did,” he says.
“How?”
“They are not natural. Nano-material. Good for fighting, not so good for love-making.”
I hum a sound of understanding and turn my face towards his. “I want to give you what you gave me.” Even if he won’t let me ride him, at least let me hear him moan. Let me watch him fall apart in my hands.
“You already did,” he says.
I mouth a silent, ‘oh’, and grin as I press a kiss to his skin. I think the big, bad alien came in his pants. Fuck, that’s hot.
“Do you need to clean up?” I ask.
He shakes his head.
Huh. He didn’t make a mess. Despite my confusion, I decide not to dig into that further. It’s probably a conversation for a different time.
My fingers find another scar, and I trace the line of raised skin from his collarbone to his armpit. “What’s this from?” I ask gently.
He stiffens. “It is a story best saved for another time.”
Duh, because he already said he didn’t want to talk about it.
Feeling like an asshole, I quickly say, “Then tell me something else.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know.” I reposition myself so my head is resting on his upper abdomen and my knee is tucked between his thighs. “Tell me a secret. One you’ve never told anyone.”
Flashes of emotion cross our connection. Anxiety. Then curiosity. Then what I think is hope.
“You changed me,” he says, as one of his hands slides up my neck and tangles in my hair. “The bond changed me.”
“Wait, already? How?”
He lets out a humorless laugh. “I feel … different. Like I could defeat an entire army to keep you safe. I feel stronger, more connected, and much more protective.” He rubs his fingers over my scalp. “I also have a new fear.”
“What’s that?” I ask with caution.
“Losing you…”
My heart stumbles over itself, caught between the shock of his confession and the deep ache it brings.
Neither of us should feel this way. We don’t know each other.
And yet, I believe him, and I can’t deny that I feel the same way.
Somehow, I know he’s going to do everything in his power to keep me safe, but that knowledge sparks a new fear. A fear I knew would come.
“I don’t want to die,” I whisper, and I mean it. Before I walked into this cell, I had one option to regain some control and find a small bit of purpose in this nightmare. But now? Now there’s hope. And that is so much more terrifying than morbid resignation.
His grip around me tightens, and his lips press into the top of my head.
“I will never let any harm come to you. Ever. If you need me, I will be there. If you are sad, I will bring you joy. If you are fearful, I will vanquish the darkness. I am yours, and I will fight for you, or with you, no matter the enemy.”
A dam of emotion breaks in my chest, and I sob. It comes out of nowhere. Ugly, racking sobs that shake my entire body. I haven’t cried in so long that I forgot how much it hurts. My throat aches. Head throbs. But I can’t stop.
Instead of shying away from my tears, Vexar holds me tighter, letting me bury my wet face against his warm skin while tracing soothing circles over my back.
When my crying slows, the deep, rolling waves of his breath and the warm scent of his skin coax me to the edge of sleep.
“Sleep, Amara,” he purrs. “Sleep.”