Chapter 28 #2
The way he touched her, not only with desire but with devotion, stirred something deep within her.
Her entire body responded to him like the tide to the moon, an irresistible pull that she couldn’t deny.
Their lips fit together so perfectly that she could only believe he was right all along; they were always meant to find each other.
As they explored each other’s mouths in a way she had only ever dreamed of and hands moved freely, she felt loved, desired, fulfilled.
She never wanted to leave this moment, because in his arms, everything was possible, and nothing else mattered.
And then, like being struck by lightning, came the guilt.
The guilt of feeling anything other than grief when her daughter was fighting death.
The guilt that came with the thought that she was a terrible mother for allowing herself to feel good again, even if just for a moment.
The guilt of motherhood, always creeping in, relentless, terrifying.
Alissa broke their kiss, their eyes locking once more as their breaths came rapid and unsteady. Her heart still thundered under her ribcage. He smiled shyly at her, and she felt as though she could crumble under the weight of it.
“I don’t think I’m ready for that.” Alissa sighed. “Not yet. I’m sorry,” she murmured apologetically, caressing his dark hair.
“You don’t need to apologize. I will never demand anything beyond what you’re willing to give me, Alissa.
” He kissed her forehead and pulled back slightly to gauge her reaction, to see if she needed space, but she was smiling.
“And if someday you decide you don’t want me near you, I will respect that too, even though it would kill me not to see your smile every single day. ”
“I never said I didn’t want you near.”
She pulled him closer by the collar, her head lying once again on his chest, her legs entangled with his in a way that made some of her anguish dissolve. She stayed there until sleep came to take her to a dreamless night.
Alissa slept peacefully for the first time in a long while.
95 DAYS UNTIL DHALIA’S DEATH DATE.
“Wake up.” A gentle whisper caressed her ear, followed by a soft kiss on her left cheek.
She recognized the voice, and flashes of the previous night rushed back to her, the realization that Eldric was in her bed only then sinking in. One of her eyes fluttered open, just a sliver, and when her gaze landed on the bedroom window, seeing nothing but darkness outside, she groaned.
“Is this revenge?” Her sleepy tone triggered a smirk from the man.
“Revenge?”
“Yes, for the time I woke you up in the middle of the night.”
His laughter sent chills through her. “No. But I do need you to get up, no questions asked.”
“It’s still night, Eldric. Go back to sleep,” she murmured, curling further into her blanket.
“I want to show you something.”
Alissa opened her eyes then, narrowing in suspicion. “What could you possibly want to show me before sunrise?”
He slid his fingers through her tousled hair, noticing the light-brown roots of her natural color beginning to show. “Just trust me. Please.”
It was the sincerity in his plea that won him this battle.
“You’ll regret waking me up this early. I tend to get pretty grumpy when a rare good night’s sleep is interrupted.” She rubbed her eyes with the sides of her hands, slowly wiping away the remnants of sleep before standing.
“You would be surprised to find out I enjoy your company even when you turn into a growling, moody beast.”
Alissa grinned, and he wrapped his arms around her, unable to resist, fearing he could never keep his hands off her again.
“Get changed. Put on the library overalls for disguise, but wear something else underneath. I’m getting Freyah. I’ll meet you downstairs in ten minutes.” And then he left, as if being away from her after the night before, even for a minute, was easy.
Eldric had deluded himself into thinking that, due to the early hour, with the sky still dark and the streets empty, the walk to their destination would be quiet and peaceful.
He should have anticipated that with these women by his side, no journey would ever be calm.
Since leaving Breno’s, they had been devising the most absurd theories about why Eldric had forced them out of the house so early.
“Maybe he is taking us to the woods to finally kill us,” Freyah muttered, her tone serious, but her lips were pressed tight to stifle a smile.
“Or maybe he is taking us to the palace to announce he is a long-lost prince!” Their giggles earned them a bored, sidelong glance from him.
“Perhaps he is an evil mage ready to turn us both into frogs.”
“Or maybe he will remove a mask and reveal himself to be Mr. Hamit,” Alissa said, earning a fit of hysterical laughter from Freyah so intense she had to cover her mouth.
“How long are you two planning on continuing with this?” he asked. “Just so, you know… I can better plan how I’m getting rid of you.”
They looked at him skeptically.
“Hey! You had plenty of chances to get rid of us before, and you didn’t. Now you’re stuck with us, mister.” Freyah shot him with a determined look.
They continued walking through the streets of Golheim, none of which Alissa recognized from her time in the capital.
As they ventured, the buildings and paved streets gave way to large trees and dense bushes.
A pebble-strewn path led them toward a trail so dark it was difficult to discern anything.
In this secluded part of the city, the only sounds were their own footsteps mingled with a strange noise Alissa had never heard before, growing louder as they approached the looming darkness ahead.
She first felt the ground beneath her feet shift, as her once-firm footing gave way to sand that extended farther than her eyes could see.
She removed her boots, savoring the sensation of the sand grains tickling the soles of her feet.
The chilly temperature was a refreshing contrast to the warmth of her body.
Her gaze then wandered to the source of the intriguing sound, and she found a vast expanse of water stretching out before her.
She wondered if it was as immense as it appeared or if the reflection of the moon and stars on the water was creating an illusion, making it seem as big as the sky above them.
“What is that?” she gasped in awe.
Eldric had thought Alissa was beautiful before, but at that moment, as she encountered a new world for the first time, the light in her eyes and the shift in her posture marveling at the wonders that had been hidden from her, made her look almost divine.
It was as if she belonged to this land as much as the sand and the sea.
“It’s the ocean,” he said softly.
Growing up within the walls of Bryniard, Eldric suspected that Alissa and Freyah had been deprived of many of the world’s beauties, with the ocean being the greatest of them all.
Fascinated by the ocean since childhood, captivated by the thought of an entirely different universe lying beyond reach, Eldric could hardly imagine growing up without ever learning about the sea.
After seeing Alissa’s suffering again last night, he felt a strong urge to bring her the same peace he found at the beach. He knew that before daylight came, this was their only chance to experience it without compromising their safety.
Without another word, Alissa and Freyah ran to the water, their feet sinking into the sand, muffled by their giggles. They collected seashells and enjoyed the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, flinching at the chilly touch of the water.
Eldric stayed behind, keeping a watchful eye on them. He wanted this moment to belong solely to them, and so he observed from a distance, finding his joy in their happiness.
Alissa understood why he had suggested she wear something underneath her overalls; he had known she wouldn’t be able to resist getting into the water.
When both Alissa and Freyah removed their uniforms, their chemises covering them as they waded knee-deep into the water, they dipped their hands in to wash their faces, only to discover the water was salty.
“How is there salt in this water?” Alissa shouted the question at Eldric, her arms raised in astonishment.
He laughed, watching with bright eyes as his friends discovered the ocean with the innocence and purity of children.
They ran, leaped, rolling on the waves, leaving no part of their bodies untouched by sea as the sand stuck to their skin like a part of them.
When the sun began to rise, they sat back to watch the spectacle on the horizon, a private show meant only for them.
Alissa had thought the place was beautiful in the darkness, but as the light illuminated it, it evolved into something that could only be described as sacred.
It made sense to her why the Lizien belief was all about nature ruling existence.
How could they not when nature alone was capable of creating such a masterpiece?
They put their uniforms back on, though their hair still dripped and the colder breeze made them shiver slightly. The sky turned into a shade of yellowish orange while the water mirrored the same tone in its reflection.
Alissa and Freyah’s eyes gleamed with emotion at the view. The beauty of the place swept their feet and overflowed them with emotion, which spilled out in tears.
“Now I understand why you always wanted to cross the walls when we were little.” Freyah chuckled. “It’s like an entirely different world out here.”
“I only did it for the thrill. Not even in my wildest dreams did I think it would be this wonderful.”
Freyah glanced down and realized her toes were completely hidden under the sand. “Do you remember that time my mother caught us trying to build a huge ladder to cross the walls?”
Alissa broke into laughter. “Of course I do. Your parents were almost out of firewood to last the winter because of us!”
“They were so mad they made us clean the basement for a month.” Freyah smiled fondly at the thought, nostalgia bringing an ache to her heart.
The memories of Alissa’s childhood came rushing back all at once.
Not long after, her parents had died, and the Wellers welcomed her into their family.
Mrs. Weller had been her role model ever since—the woman she loved as a mother.
Mr. Weller had provided for her when Alissa was still too young to make a living as a huntress.
She sighed, incapable of keeping her throat from bobbing. “I wish they could see this. Your parents, Dhalia.”
Freyah reached for her friend’s hand. “We’ll bring them here, Lissa. When this is all over.”
She nodded, and a moment of silence fell between them. “Why can’t every moment be like this? Easy… peaceful.”
“It will be. Someday.”
“Do you miss our life in Bryniard?” Alissa asked, reminiscing on how everything used to be.
“Honestly? I don’t,” Freyah said, shaking her head.
Her admission surprised even herself. “I see now how we were made into our own prisoners. Living a limited life, we made ourselves believe that was the only one there was to live.” Their gazes met, the weight of reality settling between them.
“I do miss the people we left behind. But that is temporary.”
“Life on this side of the wall doesn’t seem so fair either, Frey.”
“It doesn’t. But they have something we never did. Not truly.”
Alissa frowned. “And what is that?”
“Freedom,” Freyah spoke in a breath.
“How do you think it will be when we are back? We can’t let people keep believing there is nothing out here.”
“I don’t know, Lissa. I haven’t stopped to think about that. Perhaps we should face our challenges one at a time.”
Alissa watched her friend in all her wisdom. The dark hair now grazing her brows, the eyepatch she wore whenever no one was around, and the dimples that perfectly fit her vibrant personality. “I never thanked you for coming with me.”
A crease formed between Freyah’s brows. “You don’t need to thank me. You’re my sister, I would do anything for you.”
“I know. Although you shouldn’t have risked your life like that…” She took a deep breath. “I’m so glad you did. I couldn’t have done this without you,” Alissa said, squeezing Freyah’s hand more tightly.
“I would have never let you leave without me.” Freyah smiled. “When we were little, you used to say I was the other part of you, remember?” she whispered as they embraced each other like they used to when life was carefree. “I still am.”
Alissa’s voice wobbled. “You know that I love you, right?” The love for her friend had always been obvious to her, but she realized then that this might have been the first time she said it out loud.
Surprised by the rare display of affection, Freyah felt tears slide down her cheeks. “I love you too, Lissa.”
They watched the sun rise in silence, Freyah’s head resting on Alissa’s shoulders until darkness had been fully replaced by the light of day.
A few minutes later, Eldric was jolted back from his wandering thoughts when the woman he loved threw herself into him with such force that he had to step back to keep his balance.
His eyes widened, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Alissa’s body was cold and wet, and she smelled of sand and sea, but he didn’t mind.
If anything, he found himself loving her more with sand sticking to her hair.
She looked up at him, her chin resting on his chest, a radiant smile on her face.
Eldric had never seen her so happy, her expression lit up in a way he hadn’t thought possible after she spent months mourning a death that hadn’t even occurred.
His chest tightened, and his heart skipped a beat, grateful that he could bring her happiness, even as she was consumed by the darkness within her.
“Thank you for bringing us here. It meant the world to me. To us,” Alissa said, her voice filled with gratitude.
Eldric looked over her head to see Freyah, her emotions visible on her face, and he smiled. Freyah had been a friend to him, perhaps even a better friend than any he had made in decades of living in Golheim.
His gaze drifted back to the woman in his arms, his bright smile stubborn to leave whenever she was close. “Any regrets about waking up early?”
“No. Actually, I might even like you a little now,” she teased him, saying things that did not nearly reflect the way she felt about him.
All Eldric could think about as he looked at her was that he could never be mad at this woman again, not when his feelings for her were so deeply beyond repair.
“Well, not that it’s a competition, but I like you a lot now,” he whispered in her ear, sending shivers through her.
She pushed him back, blushing. “We should get going. There’s still a life we need to save.”