Chapter 30 Not Everything is What It Seems
Not Everything is What It Seems
Plums filled the tree in her garden in a beautiful display of purple, red, and green of the leaves.
The last time Desi had seen this tree was when she planted its seed years ago, before ever leaving her home.
She picked the fruits one by one, filling a basket of plums to make pie for her children.
The simple act stirred a painful reminder of how much she had missed while being away.
The tree had grown without her. Flourished, bloomed, and bore fruit.
She hadn’t watered it, hadn’t cared for it, hadn’t been there at all, just like she hadn’t for her family.
And at that moment, standing beneath its laden branches, she couldn’t help but feel the same distance from her loved ones, a painful detachment from the life that had grown and thrived without her.
Being reunited with her family for the first time was bittersweet.
It was everything she had dreamed of and a complete nightmare all at once.
When she arrived home, her children didn’t recognize her.
They didn’t run to her arms, crying out how much they missed her, how much they loved her, as she had expected.
They were indifferent to her instead. She saw them flinch when she tried to hold them, and it stung deep in her soul.
In that moment, she realized that indifference from the people who meant the world to her hurt far more than the years she had spent away from them ever did.
She couldn’t blame her kids. They thought she had abandoned them, and wasn’t that exactly what she had done?
Her children had changed so much since she left.
It wasn’t only their height or the way their faces had grown sharper with time.
Desi missed out on so much of what made them who they were; the essence at their core had become unrecognizable.
Being away for four years, she knew she held no part in shaping their character and moral values.
They had grown up, and the innocence she once loved was replaced by a maturity that only children forced to grow up without their mother could possess.
Their once loud and vibrant personalities had faded into quiet shadows of who they used to be.
Her husband seemed to be the only one untouched by time.
When his eyes first settled on her, he sobbed uncontrollably, the depth of his love laid bare.
The void she left had been a constant torture for him, and though their love still burned strong, something had changed.
It was as if they were dancing to different rhythms now; the harmony they had shared was disrupted by everything that happened during their time apart.
Not even her home felt the same. The walls seemed to have taken on a different shade of gray, the objects were all misplaced, and the familiar scent of lavender was gone—despite her husband’s insistence that nothing had changed since she left.
Her belongings were nowhere to be found, as if every trace of her had been quietly erased.
It was as though life had continued without her, leaving her trapped in a wretched existence, clinging to the dream of one day returning.
Day by day, Desi readjusted to this new routine, to their presence.
Her children gradually showed signs of affection, and being with her husband began to remind her of the beginning of their relationship.
Each day, she fought to smooth her edges, inching closer to fitting back into the piece of the puzzle she once was, hoping that everything could return to normal.
That was, until she would have to go back to Nyfrel, and all the great moments they were sharing, all the improvements she had made, would be lost. Again.
Desi recognized that her family weren’t the only ones who had changed. On the contrary, she was the one who had changed the most. The altruistic side of her personality had nearly vanished, and a more self-centered nature was gradually taking over.
She wasn’t proud of lying with another man for all those years when her husband remained faithful to her in her absence.
Desi wasn’t proud of how the principle of helping others, which had initially brought her to becoming a healer, had come to mean nothing to her anymore, or that the foundation of honor and ethics in which she was raised had been lost along the way.
And most importantly, she was not proud of what she did to Ronin.
The foxglove potion had been prepared only as a precautionary measure.
She didn’t expect she would actually have to use it on anyone, especially not Ronin, but he left her no other choice.
The moment he threatened her reunion with her family, she couldn’t let him leave that place alive, as Eldric had suggested.
She believed if Ronin was given the chance, he would come after her and deliver her to the Crown for abandoning her post in Nyfrel, and if he didn’t, he would keep close watch on her back in the city, and she would never have the chance of setting foot in Golheim again.
She had to do it, and that was why she didn’t regret it. The one thing that proved at least some part of her old values still burned inside her was that the memory of him and his end occasionally brought a knot to her chest.
She headed back inside, her arms and lower back aching from the weight of the plum-filled basket.
With her hands busy, she nudged the kitchen door open with her hips, quickly moving to the counter to set down the basket.
The corner of her vision captured a shadowed figure, and that was when she noticed the man leaning casually against the doorframe.
The stranger was clad in full armor, a crimson cloak draped over his shoulders, a sword sheathed on his back. Desi’s heart raced. Incapable of keeping hold of her heavy basket, she dropped it with a gasp, her hand instinctively reaching for a knife resting by the sink.
“Do you really believe a knife would stop an Iron Claw, Mrs. Linard?” Ranier asked, his arms crossed over his chest, his right foot propped casually against the wall behind him.
She released the knife, her breath coming in rapid breaths. “What do you want?” she asked, her voice steadying as she moved to sit at the kitchen table. She gestured for the bearded man to join her, her eyes never leaving his.
“You should mind your tongue. The last person who spoke to an Iron Claw general that way lost more than one limb. Especially in your situation.”
Desi’s fingers twitched toward the basket of plums, her eyes flickering with a mix of defiance and apprehension. “And what exactly are you implying, sir?” She tried to keep her voice steady despite the tension.
“Well, I half-expected to find you bound to a chair, gagged and battered, and dozens of weapons pointed at you,” Ranier said, idly spinning a dagger in his fingers.
“Instead, here you are collecting plums.” His smile was vicious.
“Apparently, these captors of yours are more merciful than I have assumed.”
Ranier had been prepared to torture the woman for answers, but noting the shift in her expression, the unease her posture revealed before her words could, he saw an opportunity to exploit her vulnerability in a more clever way. The general decided he wouldn’t let that opportunity slip away.
“Unless you’ve voluntarily abandoned your post in Nyfrel, defying the Crown’s orders. If that’s the case, then you’re now both a criminal and a traitor to the Crown, Mrs. Linard.”
The healer’s hands clenched into fists in her lap, her jaw tightening as she wrestled with her anger.
“You know, Desi Linard, I’ve always thought healers were an arrogant, disgraced sort.
So full of yourselves, feeling powerful because you can mend people,” he snarled in disgust. “But let me tell you something—true power isn’t in saving lives.
It’s in taking them.” He stood up, his height becoming more apparent as he slowly moved behind her.
His fingertips traced her jaw and neck, triggering shivers along her spine. A predator playing with its prey.
“Take me, for instance,” Ranier began, his voice dripping with menace.
“Seeing you here, where you shouldn’t be, opens up countless possibilities for me.
I could drive my sword through your bowels, gut you until your intestines spill into this basket of yours, and no one would question my actions.
I could label you a traitor, sentence you to a lifetime of servitude, or hang you for treason. ”
Desi trembled under his threat.
He glanced around the room, his eyes settling on the scattered wooden toys on her living room floor.
“I could condemn your husband and mother to the same fate and exile your children to the deserts, where they would face a slow death from dehydration and sunstroke. I could make you watch as they’re driven to desperation, turning on each other for survival, their humanity wiped away by famine and despair.
” He leaned in closer, his tongue slid up against her throat until his lips brushed her ear.
“This is what true power looks like, healer.”
Desi’s eyes were closed as she replayed his threats in her head. The image of her children alone in the deserts and her husband and mother dead brought her panic as she had never felt before.
“Please, do not hurt my family.” Her words broke as she pleaded, trying to contain her rage.
The thought of her loved ones suffering drove her to the brink.
She wanted to scream, but she was too afraid to react.
Her mind raced through every possible way to escape this man and protect her family.
As her fury boiled over, she prepared to fight him with everything she had, even if it meant her own death.
But as she was about to lunge at him, he stepped back, his grip on her shoulder loosening.
“Lucky for you, I’m feeling unusually merciful today.” Ranier’s eyes were cold and indifferent as he regarded her. “You know, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen my family. It feels good to be back home, doesn’t it?” The sarcasm with which he said it was nauseating.
The general walked to the door; each step away from her was a relief. “I will take a few hours off. You can have some time to yourself. Reflect on your situation.” His blue eyes darted up and down at her, condescending.
Her lips parted. Why would he leave her when he had more than enough evidence to destroy her life? It certainly wasn’t out of kindness; this man had none to spare.
By the door, Ranier glanced back over his shoulder, his hand closed on the doorknob.
“You find yourself in a very unique position, Mrs. Linard. You have information the Crown needs, and we have the financial means to ensure your freedom for life.” His eyes darkened, a warning flickering within them.
“If you’re wise, I can arrange for your treason to be forgotten and your debt paid off. ”
He opened the door, his body already halfway through, when he added, “Whatever happens next will be a result of your own decisions. But remember one thing before you make up your mind—chances are, I will not be this merciful when I come back.”
Ranier had realized that if he played his cards right, he could get what he wanted—his fugitives’ whereabouts—without laying a finger on the woman. His job here was done. He had planted the seed of doubt in the healer’s mind. Now all he had to do was wait.
When he slammed the door behind him, Desi’s shoulders slumped, sweat trickling down her forehead as her entire body trembled. The panic and stress were so overwhelming that she sobbed uncontrollably.
For the next several hours, she was a prisoner of her own mind, consumed by endless scenarios and crazy strategies to escape.
She replayed Ranier’s threats over and over, each word echoing like thunder in her head.
Desi considered the consequences of his threats against her family and the possibilities of what he could do to them.
She thought about freedom and the safety she could secure for herself and her family.
It was everything she had dreamed of. It was her way out.
If only she would commit one more terrible thing…
Desi wished she didn’t have to sacrifice her integrity to reclaim the life she craved, the life she desperately needed. To be safe and free at once, she needed to face a decision she didn’t want to make, but one she had to.
She had broken her vow as a healer, been unfaithful to her husband, and taken Ronin’s life.
The weight of her sins was too great to seek forgiveness in the afterlife.
Her soul was condemned beyond redemption, leaving no room to question what was right and wrong. It was too damn late for that anyway.
There was only one path to go.
There was no other way.