Chapter Thirty-Six
“Wha’ will ye do now?” Annista asked. She could see the shock standing clear in her husband’s eyes but did not know how she might best help him.
That she wanted to do just that—alleviate his suffering in any way she might—surprised her.
Perhaps it should not. After all they had shared, could she fail to feel a measure of what he felt?
“I scarce know.” He slid his fingers through his hair in distress. They stood in the great hall, and for the moment alone.
“’Tis fruitless to go on searching—we ha’ done that and failed to find Evan. If I had—”
Annista raised her hand to his shoulder. “Ye canna blame yoursel’. By God, Alan, ye ha’ tried.”
“I am always in the wrong place at the wrong time, or so it seems. A step behind.”
“Nay.” She denied it. Could she convey what she thought of him? He was strong and steady and kind, a thinking man who wanted the best for everyone around him. A fine man indeed, and near the direct opposite of his brother.
As she was the direct opposite of the woman Robena had been? A wave of sadness swept over her. She could not help her sister. But this man? Aye, mayhap so.
“List to me,” she said decisively, seizing his hands. “Ye maun no’ doubt yoursel’. And there is nay sense left in going out searching again. Better to do as your father says and stand firm here, prepare should Evan return.”
Alan’s smoky gray eyes met hers. “And should he mak’ an attack elsewhere, as he did at Duncan’s?”
“Ye canna be everywhere. ’Tis your duty to stand firm here.”
And if she gave him bad advice? Evan was a violent man—mad, even. He knew a score of ways to get back into the manor, avoiding any guard they might set.
But Alan nodded, still holding her gaze. “Aye, so. ’Tis up to me to protect my parents and the others here.” Including ye, his gaze said though he did not speak the words.
Annista felt a spear of warmth flash through her. When all this was over—if—what would they mean to one another? Was there a life here for her with this man?
Only if they survived.
Far more decisively he said, “I will go and speak wi’ the men, set a guard. Mak’ sure everyone is prepared. Hope that the physician arrives in time.”
“I want to check on Bonnie. And wi’ yer mother occupied, I will check wi’ the women in the kitchen also.” The kitchen afforded an untold number of weapons. As she knew, a knife could make for a fine defense.
She would have stepped away from Alan then, but he held her there, still gripping her hands. He bent his head and bestowed a kiss.
No demand was this kiss. It came gently, tasting more of devotion than passion. The soft, questing, yearning of it melted Annista’s heart and closed her eyes.
Och, aye, she could well be in love with this man. “Take care,” she bade him when it ended, and left him while still she could.
Upstairs, she headed directly for her own chamber, anxious to connect with her maid, only to be startled when a shadow at the end of the gallery sprang apart into two. For an instant she thought the worst, that Evan was there after all, having got into the house ahead of them.
But her eyes, adjusting to the gloom, told her the truth. Two figures, aye, and the smaller was Bonnie. The other?
She did not recognize him till he spoke in his deep voice. “Mistress.”
Seumas.
Before she could blink, he stepped away past her to the stairs.
“Master Alan has need o’ ye,” she called after him, and he quickened his steps.
“Mistress!” Bonnie gasped.
Annista towed the girl into her chamber where the windows provided some light. There she saw that her little maid—usually as neat and tidy as could be—looked disheveled, her hair half tumbled from beneath her cap, her cheeks flushed.
“Wha’ was that?” Annista demanded before thinking. “Wha’ were ye doin’ there wi’ Seumas?”
If possible, the color in Bonnie’s cheeks deepened. And she did not need to say after all.
“Oh.”
Bonnie’s deep blue eyes met hers. “Miss, it started out wi’ him reassuring me. I was right frightened, see, and he was left to guard the chamber. ’Twas only natural that he should provide comfort…”
Natural, aye. A woman and a man coming together was, surely, that. But—
Bonnie was her responsibility. Granted, she had failed, earlier, to protect her from Evan. Had even abandoned her after, in favor of Alan’s chamber and her own desires.
If this went badly, it would be Annista’s own fault.
She sighed. “I suppose I canna blame ye. He is a fine-looking man, is Seumas.”
“He is decent and kind. I never dreamed o’ meeting anyone like to him.”
“Ha’ ye lain wi’ him?” They’d had the opportunity, as God knew.
“Och, nay, mistress! ’Twas but kisses and—and a bit o’ a cuddle. We talked together long and—”
“Ye were kissing in the corridor just now?”
“Aye, Miss.”
“Do no’ look so downcast. I will no’ fault ye for it. Ye be yer own woman, and a woman maun mak’ her choices, for good or ill.” When she could.
Bonnie brightened. “I would choose him if I might. He has no’ offered, ye understand—”
Not yet. But if Bonnie were to remain here when all was said and done—did she, Annista, want to remain here? With Alan? Then Bonnie would likely stay with her. And in such case, it would be right and proper for the maid to find a measure of happiness.
Following impulse, Annista hugged her maid. “I am that glad for ye.”
“Och, miss!” Bonnie drew away and trouble filled her eyes. “Wha’ o’ Master Evan? Seumas did tell me the master had been attacked and is now sore hurt.”
“Sore hurt, aye.”
“Has Master Evan been found?”
Annista shook her head with regret. Fear flooded Bonnie’s eyes and Annista saw at once why Seumas longed to protect her.
“Wha’ if he returns to—to finish wha’ he tried to do to me?”
“He will no’. We shall be on watch, all o’ us.”
“Aye.” Bonnie stared into Annista’s eyes. “For, Mistress, much as I hate to say it, Master Evan is an evil, evil man.”
****
Annista thought about Bonnie’s words as she changed her clothing. Was anyone truly evil? The teachings of the Church would argue so. There were clear-cut lines drawn between good and evil, light and darkness. But was any child born evil?
Annista had her doubts. Could a child, once grown, be turned toward darkness by those who raised him? And were Earl MacKallan and his lady the people to do any such thing?
She could not quite believe it. After all, they had raised Alan also. And she would swear he was a good man to his heart.
There must, thus, be some fatal flaw inside Evan that rendered him capable of the terrible things he did. Beating his horse. Setting the fire at the Duncans’. Knocking down his father and attacking Bonnie.
Killing Robena?
Annista knew better than anyone how gentle Robena was. To a man like Evan, might that prove an irresistible invitation to abuse?
She did not—could not—know if Evan bore responsibility for Robena’s death. She knew that she herself feared him. That she would protect those she loved. And keep her promise to her mother if she could.
With Bonnie’s help, she changed into dry clothing, making sure the knife was secure in her pocket, and went in search of a hot drink. Not wishing to cause more work than necessary for the troubled staff, she entered the kitchen.
Not much seemed to be underway there, the fires near-guttered and Cook standing about talking to the staff, all of them clearly distressed.
When Cook turned to Annista, she saw the woman had been crying.
“Och, Mistress Annista! Is there any word? O’ the Master, I mean—or o’ Master Evan.” Fear invaded the woman’s eyes when she spoke the name.
Evan, it seemed, excelled at prompting that emotion.
Sympathy for these workers filled her voice when she said, “Naught o’ change, so far as I know. We are awaiting the physician.”
“Is the master’s condition unco’ grave?” Cook asked piteously. “He is a good master. Clear wi’ his likes and dislikes, and no’ unkind. Gives us liberty on holy days and a feast at Christmas—” She began to weep anew.
One of the kitchen maids spoke up timidly. “Should he d-die, and Master Evan tak’ over—God help us all! I do no’ ken whether I could stay. Yet—where would I go?”
“Let us try not to worry for wha’ has no’ yet happened.” Annista attempted to soothe them. “I understand ye—we—are all frightened. Ye ha’ barred the back door?”
They all nodded.
And the yard beyond was well-guarded. Yet, as Alan believed, Evan knew each and every way into the manor, even those that might remain unguarded, and had got into the house before, unnoticed.
“Keep together,” she advised, “and stay indoors. Now, if I might ha’ a hot drink?”
They sprang into action, hurrying to comply, and offered to bring it to the hall or the solar. Annista preferred to sit right there at the big wooden table while the kitchen came to life around her.