Chapter 48
Chapter Forty-Eight
Stellen
Yes, I want to inspect her body.
I want to explore every curve of her. Every sensitive part of her. I want to discover all the ways I can make her moan and I want to do it for hours…
But I force my blood to cool. “Only when you ask me to.”
Which she didn’t.
She asked me what I wanted to do.
I can’t read any sort of consent into her words just because that’s what I want to hear. Not when her heartbeats tell me she’s hurting. Not physically. Today may have been grueling, but it’s the battles in her mind and heart that have the power to destroy her.
Just as those battles destroyed me.
Turning away from her, I reach the open door. “The sun will set soon. I’ll be outside.”
I close the door firmly behind me and force myself to move.
Outside, Nara is waiting, but she needs food too, so I command her to leave. “Go. Hunt.”
When she races away, I take up position at the side of the door.
For the next hour, that’s where I remain, blocking my ears to every sound Thyra makes, the slosh of water as she soaks in the bath, her groan as she finally forces herself out of the cooling warmth, and the swish of material as she dries herself.
The staff arrive, and I take some bread from the dinner basket and place it inside the door while Thyra’s still in the bathing room.
Nara returns when the sun sinks and then we stand guard as the snowstorm starts, the shrieking wind unable to compete with the power of Thyra’s deep breathing when she finally falls asleep.
I force myself to stay awake for longer than normal, waiting for another assassin, willing Iker to test my resolve.
None arrives.
For the next five days, Thyra trains with Lilis all day while I keep watch outside Lilis’s quarters. After bringing Thyra back to the Rose Room each evening, I stay outside.
For the first two of those days, Thyra drags herself out of training at the end of each day, her muscles clearly cramped and sore, and she soaks in a bath for hours afterward.
For the following two of those days, she emerges much less hunched, her bathing time reducing. At some point during those two days, I realize she has stopped hiding her neck where she was bitten and the bite marks are no longer visible.
By Thyra’s sixth day of training, Lilis has moved on from strengthening exercises and defensive drills to direct attack maneuvers.
It seems too soon, but the only reason I don’t intervene is because Thyra herself doesn’t object. In fact, she welcomes the new training, actively voicing her wishes to Lilis.
As she trains hard all day, I hear every punch and kick against the training poles, along with every puff of air from her chest when she leaps and balances on Lilis’s training beams, only to jump off them and carry out some new attack maneuver, performing every difficult task Lilis sets for her.
Dusk is only an hour away when Lilis finally calls a stop to Thyra’s sixth day of training.
I expect to hear Thyra’s exhausted footfalls approaching down the hallway, given how much harder she worked today even than yesterday.
Instead, Lilis gives a command before Thyra can step from the arena. “Bathing room. Now. When you’re done, stay in the hallway until I summon you. I will speak to the king privately.”
Then, as if Thyra were giving signs of objecting, Lilis repeats, “Stay here in the hallway.” She huffs. “Please.”
“Okay, but are you sure?” Thyra asks, her voice quiet, controlled. Not puffed. “This is your private space.”
The sound of one of the doors opening meets my ears, at which Lilis says, “There. The door is open. Not private anymore.”
“Oh.” Thyra’s voice is brighter. “It’s nice in here.”
“Tell anyone and I’ll kill you.”
“You have my word.” Thyra’s voice fades as her footfalls sound again and then the door clicks closed.
Lilis’s pounding feet bring her to the front door, which opens in a rush before she slows down on the path and stops five paces away from me.
“Lord.” She bows. “May I speak with you? Privately?”
Her question is twofold. Not only does she want my permission, but we aren’t in a secluded location. I take a moment to confirm that nobody stands within the average fae’s earshot. “I will allow it.”
Her next question is more hesitant. “May I speak without fear of retaliation?”
I consider her carefully. Her porcelain cheeks are flushed, a sheen of sweat rests across her brow, and her purple eyes are unusually dull.
“You may.”
She clasps her hands in front of herself. “The Oracle is strong, Lord.”
I treat her statement with the contempt it deserves. “You thought because she looks like a lowborn, she would be easily overpowered?”
“N-No, Lord. I mean she’s stronger than she should be.”
My eyes narrow and Lilis swallows, her throat visibly constricting.
She pushes on. “The Oracle told me her father taught her only basic defensive moves.”
My question is sharp. “What of it?”
“Lord, forgive me, but…maybe there was a reason for that.”
My glare sharpens.
Lilis takes a step back from me, then rallies.
“Lord, the Oracle has learned, within hours, maneuvers that took me days, even weeks, to master. She consumes everything I teach her as if she were inhaling water and turns what should be exhaustion into energy. I teach her a new move, she mimics me, and then she can perform it better than I can. She’s learning at an astounding rate and she has the potential to—”
Lilis’s lips press together and it’s clear she regrets her outburst.
I begin to pace slowly around her. “She has the potential to what, Lilis?”
Exceed you? Exceed me, perhaps.
I wait for Lilis’s self-interest to surface.
“To become extremely efficient at killing…” Lilis whispers. “Anyone.”
Killing anyone.
I miss a step. And then I recalibrate. “You’re concerned for yourself.”
Lilis’s shoulders slump. “I’ve always known my days would be numbered if you found the Oracle,” she says. “I’ve accepted that. But what I can’t accept is that I might be training the next—”
Again, she stops.
“Say it, Lilis.”
“The next False Queen.” Lilis’s voice is so strained, her vocal cords are barely making sound. “Thyra is supposed to have the power to break the False Queen’s curse, but will she? Does she want to?”
Lilis’s face is raised to mine.
I stop pacing.
My reply, for once, is not aloof. “She does.”
She hasn’t made progress because I’ve kept her from the things she needs. I’ve directed her focus to her survival because she very nearly died, and I won’t…can’t…risk that she’ll face death again.
Lilis swallows. “Are you prepared for what I’m training her to become?”
Lilis has never dared to question me like this.
A week ago, I would have quickly reminded her of the consequences. But I’m forced to acknowledge to myself that she’s asking logical questions.
Questions I’ve already considered.
I’ve seen firsthand how careful Thyra is, how deeply she reflects on every choice she makes, and how much she abhors death.
She asked me to spare the Iron King’s life, an inconceivable request, but she made it, anyway.
In the Alak-Teah, she convinced me to put down my blades.
When the shapeshifters attacked, she stopped the bloodshed before it could begin.
She even bore bone-deep exhaustion so that Lilis could make it home safely.
Lilis asked if I was prepared for what she was training Thyra to become and I know the answer because she’s training Thyra to become a warrior who can defend herself. A warrior strong enough to know when to exert force and when to withhold it.
With absolute certainty, I say, “I am.”
Lilis’s eyes widen before she straightens herself. “Well, then, she’s ready to go out on patrol. If you want her to stand at your side, she should understand how our defense systems work, including how the towers operate.”
It’s a far cry from a training room to a Frost Tower. The risks to Thyra will increase a hundredfold, but I remind myself that I’ll be with her. “Very well.”
Lilis backs away, but she suddenly looks flustered, her forehead puckering. “If I may, Lord, can I have two days off from training her, instead of one?”
“Why, Lilis?”
“Because I’m fucking exhausted.” She twitches backward, her heartbeat revealing her sudden fear.
Probably something to do with my narrowed eyes and the ice building across my hands.
Clearly, I’ve allowed her to speak her mind for too long.
Before I can deny her request, she adds, “I have other duties I’ve been neglecting. The report from one of the Frost Towers was incomplete this morning, and I need to personally inspect the troops in the north.”
She isn’t exaggerating. She’s been squeezing in her regular duties around training Thyra.
“We’ll see you the day after tomorrow.”
At my approval, Lilis doesn’t waste another moment. She disappears back into the building, where she snaps at Thyra to leave.
Thyra makes her way quietly outside. She hasn’t yet donned her cloak, giving me the chance to consider her form more carefully than I have on previous days.
The muscles on her arms and legs are more visibly defined beneath her suit and she walks with greater power, her movements more agile, near prowling down the path.
Her heartbeats are strong, and her breathing is even.
She glances back at Lilis. “Is everything okay?”
“Lilis wants my permission to take you out on patrol.”
Thyra’s quick inhalation betrays her willingness. “Did you give it?”
“I did.”
“Good.” With a smile, she ascends easily onto Nara’s back, and, without a hint of exhaustion, extends her hand to me. “The sun will set soon. And for once, I don’t desperately need the bathing room.”
Nara gives me a soft growl and I shake myself into action, slipping neatly behind Thyra.
Within minutes, we’ve returned to the Rose Room, where Thyra steps inside, leaving the door open behind her. For the past five days, Thyra has disappeared down the hallway, nearly immediately drawing herself a bath.
I’m the one who closed the door between us each day.