7. Abby
ABBY
This may be the smartest or the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.
I’m not sure yet which it is.
But as Magda waves cheerfully en route to the elevator, looking like she won the lottery, which she kind of did, I let these three overwhelming men usher me out to the SUV.
It feels like I won the lottery as well, if I’m being honest.
If Kane, Dash, and Benjamin hadn’t shown up with my water bottle, I’d still be sitting in the hallway with Magda and debating if I should contact my parents or Sadie for a place to crash.
My parents live an hour away, which would be awful commuting to work since I don’t have a car.
Sadie lives around the corner from me, but her apartment is even smaller than mine and she sleeps in a twin bed.
She also has a cat who likes to sleep directly on my face and chew on my hair when I’ve crash on her couch after a late night hanging out together.
I love animals but I also enjoy breathing.
At moments like this my mind always drifts to Emily and invariably it makes me sad that I don’t have a sister I can call on when times are tough.
But then, somehow, out of nowhere, two hockey players and a lawyer walked in, and what should be the start of a bad joke feels like the crazy beginning of…something.
I’m attracted to all three of them, and wildly enough, I think all of them are attracted to me. I don’t know what to make of my feelings, so I focus on the obvious—they’re giving me a warm, safe place to stay tonight.
That’s good enough for right now.
The rest can be sorted out later.
And while I hesitated, worried this might be a Too Stupid To Live girl-in-a-horror-movie moment, I just know that’s not true. They’re sincere and I can trust them.
Besides, both Magda and Sadie are fully in the loop on what is going on. The other neighbors in my building saw the guys. The desk clerk talked to all of us.
Nothing nefarious is going on.
I one hundred percent believe that.
The only danger might be that I get used to what I assume is luxury living.
Or I get addicted to their attention.
Sadie has texted me again. I glance at my phone.
OMG HAVE SO MUCH FUN.
She’s totally on board with me leaving with the guys. It makes me feel less crazy if both she and Magda think it’s fine.
“Should we order take-out or cook at home?” Benjamin asks. “Let’s take a vote.”
I remember that ages ago, when Dash first appeared in the hallway at the arena, he was hungry. He must be ready to pass out by now. “Take-out,” I say, glancing at Dash and smiling. “It’s faster.”
His expression softens. “Only if that’s what you want.”
“It is,” I say firmly.
He’s an enormous guy. He must need a zillion calories a day to even feel human.
“What kind of take-out?” Kane asks as he opens the door to the backseat for me. “Lady’s choice.”
“I don’t care,” I say, which is true. I’ve never been a picky eater.
After chemo and months of being nauseous all the time as a kid, I appreciate pretty much all cuisine.
“How about fajitas from that great Mexican place down the street?” Kane asks.
My stomach audibly growls.
I blush.
Kane laughs softly. “Fajitas it is then. Dash, can you order for us? You know what I like.”
“On it. Your usual, Benjamin?” he asks.
“Yeah, thanks,” Benjamin says as he pulls out of the parking lot. “We don’t have a long drive, Abby,” he assures me. “My house is just north on the lake.”
I nod, not really caring where the house is. I’m still in awe of how well they all seem to know each other. That closeness is enviable to me.
“When did you buy your house? Have you been there long?” It’s meant to be polite small talk but I’m also trying to get to the heart of some things I'm very curious about—like Benjamin’s age and how the dynamic between the three of them seems to work.
“Two years,” he says, glancing at me in the rearview mirror.
“Since the boys here came to the Mutts. I’ve been with the organization for seven years, since I graduated law school.
But I had an apartment the first five years.
It wasn’t until I knew they were going to be around all the time that I wanted a bigger space so we can all spend time together. ”
“Benjamin always has a well-stocked fridge,” Dash says. “We stay there a lot, especially in the summer. Kane and I do have an apartment but it’s more like a crash pad. It’s right by the arena.”
“And you’ve been friends for a long time? That’s very cool that you both wound up playing here.”
“Known them both almost all of my life. I can’t imagine not playing on a team with Kane.”
“Benjamin and I are actually stepbrothers,” Kane tells me, his knee brushing mine as he adjusts himself on the seat next to me. “That’s why he’s so damn old and I’m in my prime.”
Benjamin snorts. “Prime idiocy.”
Kane grins. Then he says, “But we’re family. Brothers. Plain and simple, even if we don’t share the same blood. Same with Dash.”
“That’s really wonderful,” I say softly.
I mean that.
I also realize that it means that whatever I’m feeling toward these three men needs to be kept under wraps. In no way do I want to be responsible for causing any kind of rift between them.
Their relationship is special. A true brotherhood.
So whatever this is in regard to me, or could be, it can’t last.
It’s temporary.
I just need to enjoy it tonight.
Just a crazy roller coaster ride of a day that I can tuck away as an amazing memory.
Especially when I’m back in my apartment and alone in my lumpy bed at night with my vibrator.
My cheeks warm at the thought of getting myself off to fantasies of Kane, Dash, and Benjamin.
“Whatcha thinking about, Lollipop?” Kane drawls, nudging my knee lightly.
The smirk on his face indicates he thinks he knows exactly what I’m thinking about.
I’m a terrible liar.
Not only does it go against my nature, but I’m really bad at it.
So I just give a noncommittal, “Hm.”
“What do you want to eat, Abby? Steak, chicken, veggie fajitas?” Dash asks.
Considering my mouth feels too dry to swallow I say, “Veggie. Please.”
A minute later the SUV pulls into the driveway of a midcentury inspired house on a partially wooded lot. It’s glass and wood and seems to hover inside of the landscape surrounding it.
“Your house is beautiful,” I breathe. “Wow.”
“Thanks,” Benjamin says, and he sounds genuinely proud. “I love this house.”
Before I can say anything further Dash is out of the car and has my door open. Kane is grabbing my suitcase out of the back and Benjamin is asking if I want a glass of wine.
They’re all so solicitous.
I’m not used to being taken care of and while my instinct is to protest, I decide against it. It feels…cozy.
Dash’s hand is on the small of my back, just like Kane’s was earlier.
Both of their touches feel so natural. It’s hard to wrap my head around but I don’t want to question it either. I just want to enjoy it.
Temporarily, I remind myself.
“No, thanks,” I tell Benjamin. “If I had a glass of wine right now I’d probably just fall asleep.”
“Then let’s get you fed and tucked in for the night,” Kane says, jogging up the front steps and entering a code on the touchpad by the front door.
While I would never say that I’m any sort of badass woman, I do consider myself to be independent, even if sometimes my actions are laced with anxiety.
Like earlier at the arena.
I get nervous. I doubt myself. I struggle to feel fully confident sometimes.
But at the same time I always strive to be independent, to take care of myself, to appreciate this life I’ve been given in the very literal sense.
I also carry guilt from knowing how much my parents had to take care of me and how that damaged their relationship with my sister.
Being cosseted and cared for is something that normally makes me uncomfortable.
Not tonight.
Being fussed over by these three men feels like a warm hug.
Like I can just take a deep breath and release all the tension I’ve been feeling.
When we step into the house, I’ve overwhelmed by how beautiful and homey it is. It’s filled with natural wood and comfy furnishings and…a dog.
I blink as what is obviously a senior dog comes ambling over to us. She greets Dash and then sniffs my hand, her tail wagging.
“Oh, my gosh, hi,” I say, burying my hands in her warm fur. As if what the guys are offering me wasn’t perfect already, now I have a dog to cuddle? I can’t believe my luck.
“This is Linda,” Benjamin says, rubbing her head and clipping a leash onto her. “She’s Dash’s dog, but we all love her.” He points toward the door. “Linda, walk.” She obediently heads toward the front door. “We’ll be right back.”
Kane heads to the kitchen. “I’ll get you something to drink, Abby.”
“Thanks, Kane.”
Dash shows me to a guest bedroom. “Will this work for you?” he asks, hovering in the doorway, clutching my suitcase in his hand.
I laugh softly. “Will this work? Are you kidding? This is a dream come true.” The bedroom is warm and inviting, with rich wood tones on an accent wall and a queen size bed. The nightstands have a live edge and there are layers of lighting to create a soft and welcoming ambience.
The star is the floor-to-ceiling windows. When I approach them I see they look out over the lake. In moonlight, it’s magical.
“Good,” Dash says gruffly. “We want you to feel right at home.”
His expression is unreadable, but there is something almost vulnerable in his eyes. I reach my hand out for my suitcase. “I can take that.”
Dash immediately bristles, his shoulders going up, back straightening. “Just tell me where you want it.”
“By the chest of drawers is fine.”
I don’t know if I’m here for one night or two, and I’m afraid to ask. The whole house, the guys…it feels like I can finally exhale.
“It’s been hard, hasn’t it?” Dash asks me as he bends down and unzips my suitcase for me. “Trying to live off of a salary from a nonprofit?”
He doesn’t look at me when he asks and I’m grateful for that. There is a lump in my throat.
My answer is a simple, “Yes.”
He stands back up and reaches for my hand. I slip mine into his calloused and firm grip. He squeezes lightly and it feels like an unspoken “we’ve got you” before he releases my hand again.
When we return back downstairs, Kane has poured everyone drinks and Benjamin has turned on the gas fireplace and produced more blankets than a Target aisle.
Linda is on the floor next to the fireplace sleeping in what looks like her favorite spot.
Kane holds up both hands. In one is a bottle of sparkling water. In the other is a glass of red wine. “Just in case you changed your mind. Whatever you don’t want I’ll drink.”
Without hesitation I accept the wine. A few sips will release the last of the knots that seem to have taken up permanent residence in my neck the last few weeks.
The food arrives and we eat around the kitchen island, making casual conversation. Not even really getting-to-know-you questions.
Unless you count a fiery debate over what makes one guacamole superior to another.
“Goat cheese,” Benjamin declares. “It elevates the avocado.”
Kane snorts. “It elevates the avocado? Thanks, Food Network. I’ll remember that when I’m eating my guacamole infused with a fuck ton of hot sauce.”
As if to prove his point he dunks a tortilla chip in guacamole then unloads an entire condiment container of hot sauce onto it. He pops it into his mouth.
“That’s not going to impress, Abby. It’s just going to burn a hole in your esophagus."
I’m fearfully watching Kane for some kind of reaction or hell, maybe a spontaneous combustion. “I don’t know. I’m kind of impressed, I have to say.”
“Ha!” Kane tells Benjamin.
Benjamin rolls his eyes.
Dash is silently watching them. He’s destroyed six tortillas stuffed with fajita meat and vegetables plus a side of black beans.
“Do you have a game tomorrow?” I ask, realizing I have zero knowledge of the Mutts schedule. “I don’t want to distract you.”
“Too late for that,” Dash says, leaning over from his stool next to me to flick the ends of my hair upward with his fingertips.
“You are very distracting in the best way, Lollipop,” Kane adds. “But no game tomorrow. Just practice. We can give you a ride to the arena since you’re meeting your work team.”
I’ve eaten more than I normally do, and I finished my glass of wine.
It’s hard to remember how this day started versus how it’s ending.
I’m spending the night here, in this beautiful house, being waited on like a princess.
Then tomorrow they will drive me to the arena and back to reality.
That’s more than enough, I tell myself as Benjamin suggests we watch a movie. Three best friends—and brothers—are not going to decide to date you.
And even if they did, there is no way I could possibly choose between them.
No way at all.