Chapter 34 Cillian
Chapter Thirty-Four
CILLIAN
When Liam and I meet up at his office, I expect him to look as bad as me and Dare, but he doesn’t. He’s well put together in an expensive suit, his hair slicked back.
“He found her?" He doesn't speak until we are out on the catwalk, walking toward the parking garage.
“Aye, pinged her using his credit card.”
Liam raises a bold eyebrow, his eyes piercing into me. “Aye? I didn’t imagine she'd be that stupid."
“Me either, but Dare says she’s gotta be out of cash.”
Liam frowns. “I would have called a friend, a family member.”
I shrug. I don’t really care one way or the other. I just want to see her again. But I don’t say that to Liam.
“Maybe she doesn’t have anyone.”
Liam grunts, but something passes across his face, too quick to read.
He loves her too.
My heart aches for him and Dare both, but I want her for myself. The monster wants the beauty.
What does that make me?
“Your car or mine?”
“Mine.”
It’s about a four-hour drive into the next state north, where the capital is, so we have plenty of time to talk. Not that Liam says much.
“What are you going to do with her when we find her?”
Liam doesn’t answer, staring straight ahead as we drive down the freeway.
“Liam.”
He still doesn’t answer, and when I say his name yet again, he slams his fist down on the dashboard.
“I don’t know! I don’t bloody know, Cill, all right?”
I stay quiet for only a moment, allowing him to collect himself.
“I won’t let you.”
“Won’t let me what?” Liam sounds less angry and just exasperated now, tired.
“I won’t let you hurt her.”
He scoffs. “God, you sound like Dare.”
Maybe he’s right, but I don't care.
I love Isla, whoever she is, whatever she’s done. And I don’t love easily, so the matter of her betrayal is inconsequential to me.
We kidnapped her, she escaped. We find her. If she comes back now, it will be because she wants to be with us. With me.
“Don’t pretend you don’t have feelings for her too.”
He barks out a laugh. ”Feelings? What is this, fucking high school?”
“You’re deflecting.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Cill.”
“We’ve got three hours left to drive. We have to talk about something.”
“What happened to you being the strong, silent type?”
I shift in my seat, annoyed. “Well, we have to bloody talk about it, Liam. We can’t just snatch her up and put her in the trunk in broad daylight with no plan.”
“I just... I want to see her, all right?”
“Just see her?” I ask hopefully.
“We can’t exactly let her go. What she knows—”
“She doesn’t know anything other than our names.”
“And the fact that we kidnapped her.”
I huff out a breath. “She’s not going to tell anyone.”
He glances at me, and then back at the road, his jaw set. “You’re like Dare. And just as naive.”
“Everyone’s not against you, Liam.”
“She certainly is. And why wouldn’t she be? We picked her up at the gala, locked her away, used her as a... pet.”
“Remind me again whose idea that was?” I know I’m provoking Liam, but I can’t help it.
Some part of me feels like this is all his fault. If he hadn’t been so fucking mean to her all the time...
“We all needed a release.”
I know even he knows that’s a lie. He wanted her. He wanted her any way he could have her, just like the rest of us.
He’s silent for the rest of the ride, and I look out the window, thinking of Isla, of the last time we made love, how I wanted to tell her so badly.
She stopped me.
Is that because she was already planning to leave? God, my chest hurts.
I take a ragged breath as we pull up at the department store Dare sent us to.
“How the hell are we going to find her here?”
I sigh heavily. “I’ll go inside, scope out the place. You stay here in the car, see if she happens by.”
“There’s no way we’re going to find her here.” Liam’s face is shuttered, but his words are desperate.
“All we can do is try.”
He shifts in the driver’s seat, staring straight ahead, and I get out, heading into the department store.
Liam’s right. There are hundreds of people here, and she’ll be disguised.
I scan the crowd, and there’s a hundred women who look just a little like her, making my heart skip a beat every time my eyes rove over a pair of thick thighs or dark, curly hair.
But none of them are Isla.
Finally, I catch sight of a small woman in a hoodie, rushing toward the exit in a pair of sunglasses. I swallow hard, rushing toward her, and just at the exit, I catch up to her.
I put a hand on her shoulder and turn her around, and the glasses slip to show blue irises instead of hazel, and a left black eye.
The woman yelps and shudders, and I take a step back. “Sorry.”
It’s a low mumble, and if I had more time, I might ask her who did that to her, find the guy, and take out all my complicated emotions on his face.
But we have to search the city.
I spend another half hour searching the store, but to no avail. I’m starting to lose hope. Maybe she did call a friend, a family member, hell, an ex-lover.
The idea makes my stomach churn, but it’s not as if we asked her if she was in a relationship when we took her. It’s not as if we cared.
It was wrong to take her from day one, but I can’t regret it. Otherwise, Isla Quinn would have never come into my life.
Dare told us all about her father, Ryan, about how he had no real loyalties, that he was a paid mercenary of sorts, a loose cannon who could be had for the biggest bid.
I know the type, have worked with them.
Liam says he believes it means she’s just like her father, but I don’t think so, and I know he doesn’t either.
I think she learned how to be hard at a young age. I think she learned how to run. And I don’t know if we'll ever find her.
My shoulders slump as I walk back out to Liam, who’s leaning against the hood of his car, watching me approach.
“Find anything?”
“No.”
“Didn’t think you would. So, what now?”
“Liam, I’m in love with her.”
He nods. “Aye.”
“You aren’t surprised?”
He chuckles. “You’re a lot more obvious than you think you are.”
“And you?"
“What about me?"
“You’re in love with her, too.”
“Love is a strong word.”
“Is it the right word?” I step closer to him.
He doesn’t answer.
I want to yell at him, shake him by the shoulders. I know how he feels about her. I know he wouldn’t bring her books, wouldn’t cuddle with her on the couch if he didn’t feel something for her.
I’ve never seen Liam so twisted up about any woman, not even when we were in high school.
But he won’t admit it. And honestly, I can’t blame him.
It doesn’t matter, does it?
Isla’s gone. And even if we find her, nothing will ever be the same.