Chapter Fifteen
The elevator chimes as the doors slide open.
I take a deep breath and step out, making my way toward her room.
With each step, my heart races as I get closer.
I pause in front of the door, fist clenched and ready to knock, but I hold back and decide to wait instead.
I’ve already sent her a text letting her know I’ve arrived.
Moving away from the door, I lean against the wall beside it.
I pull off my helmet and let my head rest against the wall as I take a moment to collect my thoughts.
A couple of minutes pass before I hear footsteps approaching from the other side of the door.
Moments later, it swings open, revealing Raina.
She barely glances my way before shock floods her expression, quickly followed by a startled shriek.
In a blink, she swings her fist toward me.
Reacting instantly, I drop my helmet, seize her wrist, and pull her around, pushing her back against the wall with my other hand.
I stand directly in front of her, gripping her delicate wrist and pinning it above her head.
I look down, breathing heavily. She leans her head against the wall, her gaze drifting to where my hand holds her wrist captive, and then to the other pressing against her collarbone.
Tilting her head, she meets my eyes, her lashes fluttering softly like fragile butterfly wings.
The shock that once painted her face has faded to…
something else. I focus on the rapid beating of her heart beneath my palm before inhaling deeply. She smells so sweet.
I run my tongue along my top teeth. “Careful, Raina...you could really hurt someone with that,” I murmur, glancing at her clenched fist.
She gasps lightly, irritation creeping into her voice. “What happened to consent before touching?” she retorts.
My eyes wander over her tiny freckles. She’s adorably scrappy, and being this close to her feels dangerous. I quickly shake the thought. “That was before you attempted to punch me,” I reply, releasing her as I step back and retrieve my helmet from the floor.
She brings her arm in front of her, rubbing her wrist where my hand had been. “Well...I didn’t know it was you. Maybe next time, give me a heads-up if you’re waiting by my door,” she says, her cheeks flushed as she meets my gaze again.
I keep my expression neutral. “Noted.”
Once we’re back at my bike, I hop on quickly while Raina stands beside me, gripping her small backpack tightly.
I push my hair back from my face with my free hand.
“Get on,” I demand politely. She glances at the limited space behind me and, without hesitation, climbs aboard.
I turn slightly to look back at her. “Here…put this on.” I hand her my helmet.
“What about you?” she asks.
“I’ll be fine…It’s not far from here.” I glance back, waiting for her to get it on.
She slides it on and clears her throat. “So, how do I look?”
I tilt my head back to see her better. I chuckle. “It’s a bit big for your small frame…but it suits you.” Then I focus ahead, put up the kickstand, and start the bike.
Raina’s hands glide across my leather jacket, gently wrapping around where my stomach meets my sides.
I inhale sharply, relieved that the roar of the bike drowns out any sound I might make that she could hear.
Even though there’s fabric between us, I can’t ignore the sensitivity of my scars, especially on my left side, where the wounds I inflicted on myself are newly healed.
I roll my shoulders, gripping the handles even tighter.
I’ve never let a woman ride with me before, not even Beck.
It’s not that she’s ever asked; it just never happened.
But having Raina so close, holding onto me, awakens emotions I can’t quite put my finger on.
I crack my neck, pushing those feelings aside and adding them to my growing collection of unresolved thoughts.
With a twist of the throttle, I take off.
As we arrive, I park in our usual spot at the dead-end of the street.
I deliberately avoid driving down my old street or the one where Beck and Eric live, unsure if she’s home.
The last thing I need is for her to see me passing by with a girl on the back of my bike, especially if she has an inkling of where we might be headed.
It shouldn’t matter, given our recent conversation and the mutual understanding that we should remain friends, just as we always have, and nothing more.
But it feels like I’m reopening an old wound.
And while I’m accustomed to that, I can’t bring myself to hurt Beck again or put her in a position where she feels betrayed.
I care about her too much. It’s just too soon, even if we both recognize that eventually we have to accept moving on and exploring other connections.
Not me, though. I’ve resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my life.
A truth I’ve come to accept long ago. There are hints at why I haven’t pursued a serious relationship after a few casual encounters.
Still, even if I wanted to, none of my experiences with other women has inspired me to take that leap.
Yet here I am. Since that first night I saw Raina, I haven’t engaged with anyone else.
But whatever this is between us, I refuse to let it go any further.
I can’t drag her down with me. Something tells me that if I were to reach that point with her, I wouldn’t be able to control myself.
She’s already shown she can break through my defenses without even trying.
So this is strictly a I don’t know what the fuck it is situationship.
All I know is it’s one I feel possessively protective of.
As we dismount from the bike, Raina pulls off my helmet and holds it tightly in front of her.
I notice her scanning the woods beside us.
“Is that where we’re headed?” she asks. I nod and start walking toward the trees, with her following closely behind.
“Are you planning to kill me and dump my body somewhere?” I abruptly turn to face her, meeting her eyes.
She’s wearing a playful smile, clearly joking.
I roll my eyes and keep moving, choosing not to respond.
As we walk, I share a bit about how we stumbled upon our secret spot, careful not to divulge too much.
I need to keep this place just as it is, without revealing too much of my past. The more she learns, the greater the chance my secrets and past horrors will resurface, driving her away for good.
The mere thought of losing the chance to even know her at all fucks with my head.
We finally step into the clearing, and I take a moment to soak in this place that has held a special meaning for me since childhood.
It’s not as warm as it was when the twins and I visited on Thursday, but there’s still enough warmth for a potential swim.
My eyes drift to her as she scans the surroundings, and I can see the excitement lighting up her face.
She follows me over to the ledge where we gaze out at the lake, her eyes fixating on the distant mountains.
“I’m not sure what I expected, but this view is absolutely stunning,” she remarks.
I nod in agreement. It truly is a beautiful haven.
I decide to settle down, letting my legs dangle over the edge.
I glance up at Raina, extending my left hand to help her.
With a smile, she kicks off her shoes and sets them aside before slipping her small hand into mine.
I hold it gently as she sits beside me. I hear a soft giggle escape her lips, and I turn to her. “What’s so funny?” I ask.
She scrunches her nose and tilts her head towards me. “As mysterious and grumpy as you try to be…you have a gentleman’s side to you.”
I shrug at her half-hearted compliment. “I suppose my mother raised me right.” She flashes me a quick smile and turns her gaze back to the lake. For a moment, silence envelops us, broken only by the chirping of birds and the gentle rustling of leaves and branches.
“So, do you live in town?” Raina asks brightly.
“Not quite,” I reply, gesturing toward the mountains.
“Oh, that’s nice! Did you buy a house out that way?”
I shake my head. “No. My uncle left me his place.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see her tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. I expect her to dig deeper, but she stays quiet, and I’m relieved. Curious, I decide to turn the tables a bit and ask her something. “Do you have any family nearby?”
I notice her swinging her feet back and forth. “No, I was raised by my aunt…she lives about seven hours away.”
That surprises me. I push a little more. “What happened to your parents?”
She bites her lip, absentmindedly pulling at a bit of grass that has grown through a crack in the rocks.
“My mom passed away giving birth to me, and I don’t know anything about my dad…
nobody does. My mom’s parents were around, but they’ve both been gone for years.
So it’s just me and my aunt,” she admits.