Chapter Twenty #2
I notice Beck biting her lip, shifting her gaze between my eyes.
“Well, there’s a lucky girl out there waiting for you,” he says with a grin.
I brush it off and force a smile before heading back to the kitchen to toss my plate.
Once there, I pull out my phone to check notifications—still no word from Raina.
My worry is growing with each passing moment I don’t hear from her.
I feel I have no choice but to drop by her place and see what’s going on.
This is completely out of character for her.
I need to make sure she’s alright, and if she’s fine, I have to find out why she’s shutting me out.
I’d rather just face the music now than keep wondering what I’ve done.
Even though deep down, she and I both know I’ve done everything wrong and more.
“Everything alright, Ez?” Beck asks quietly from behind me.
I turn to face her, rubbing the back of my neck. “Yeah…I’ve got to head out, though.”
She glances over her shoulder before looking back up at me.
“Alright, I’ll walk out with you.” I make my way back into the living room, giving Eric a quick hug and thanking him for having me over.
I then fist-bump Blake. Finally, Jenson stands up, shakes my hand once more, and nods his head firmly in acknowledgment.
Beck walks quietly behind me as we make our way to the driveway, heading toward my bike.
My mind races with questions and things I want to express.
I come to a stop in front of my bike, my fists clenched tightly at my sides.
Turning to face her, I try to collect my thoughts so I don’t mess this up any further.
She stands there, arms crossed, rubbing them as if she’s cold.
I offer her my jacket, but she shakes her head.
We share a moment of silence, our eyes locked.
“I’m sorry, Beck,” I finally manage to say.
A soft smile crosses her face as she tucks her hair behind one ear. “I’m sorry too,” she replies softly.
Taking a step closer, I place my hands gently on her arms. “I mean it, B…I’m truly sorry for how I’ve handled things all these years, leaving you in the dark, questioning what you truly deserve.” She lets out a frustrated huff and pulls back out of my reach.
I pull my hands back, giving her the space she clearly needs.
She looks away for a moment, crossing her arms tightly.
“You always say that kind of stuff.” I furrow my brows, unsure how to respond.
When she meets my gaze again, her expression is intense.
“You act like I don’t know what I deserve, while also hinting that you don’t deserve the same happiness.
” I glance down, feeling a knot of anxiety twist in my stomach.
I hear her sniffle, and it draws my eyes back to hers.
She bites her bottom lip, trying to hold back her emotions.
“If anyone deserves more, i-it’s you, Ezra.
When are you going to see that?” A single tear slips down her cheek, and her lip trembles slightly.
Instinctively, I pull her close, wrapping my arms around her tightly.
I don’t have the words right now to explain why I feel unworthy, so I stay quiet, choosing instead to focus on how much I’ve missed her presence.
She wraps her arms around my waist, resting her head against my chest. I let my head drop and bury my face in her hair, inhaling her familiar scent that brings back memories of all these years spent knowing and loving her. We remain quiet, savoring the moment together. “Beck,” I murmur softly.
She snuggles deeper into my embrace. “Yeah?”
I place my hand gently against the back of her head.
“Just be happy, okay? And don’t worry about me…
I’ll be alright.” I close my eyes for a moment, silently hoping she won’t ask for a promise I can’t keep.
Because deep down, I know I may never truly be okay, and that’s a burden I’ll carry alone. One that’s not hers to bear.
She steps back, wiping away any traces of tears from beneath her eyes.
A strand of hair clings to her lashes, and I gently brush it away.
She smiles up at me, then glances back at the house.
“I should head inside. Jenson is probably wondering what’s taking me so long…
and we both know he’s not safe stuck with Blake in there.
” We share a chuckle. She takes hold of my left arm, running her thumb along the leather of my jacket before turning to walk back to the house.
“Hey, Beck,” I call out. She turns to glance back at me. “See you at work in a couple of days?” I ask.
She playfully rolls her eyes. “See you then,” she replies, and a wave of relief washes over me.
Things have felt so off not seeing her in our usual routine.
Now, we can finally move forward. I get on my bike, taking one last look at the house that was once my home, with a family that has always accepted me since the first time we met on the street as kids.
Despite all I’ve been through and continue to face, I am grateful to have the twins and Eric as my family.