Chapter Twenty-Seven
Loud voices swirl around me, cutting through the fog in my mind.
I recognize the heated exchange of a man and a woman.
They sound familiar, voices I’ve encountered countless times before.
I force my eyelids open, blinking hard to clear the haze.
As my vision sharpens, I see two figures looming above me.
With a few more blinks, their faces come into focus.
Beck and Blake are there, their expressions a mix of horror and concern.
Beck has her hand over her mouth, eyes glistening with unshed tears, while Blake wears an expression tinged with both anger and hurt.
I attempt to shift, but a sharp pain slices through my body, causing me to grunt in response.
Looking down, memories flood back in an overwhelming rush of what I’d done to myself.
I roll onto my back and let my head drop against the floor, rubbing my temples in an effort to ease the throbbing sensation.
“What the hell did you do, Ezra?” Blake’s voice trembles, but it carries an edge of authority.
I let out a heavy sigh. “I had a moment.”
Beck scoffs at my words. “A moment? Seriously?” I can’t bring myself to meet her gaze.
I can only imagine what’s running through her mind, seeing me like this.
I’ve done well over the years to keep her at a distance from my struggles.
But now, I’ve hit my breaking point. I cough, fighting through the pain.
“How did you guys find me?” I ask flatly.
“Do you forget I can access the camera footage? I would have been here sooner if I hadn’t been away from my phone when it went off,” Blake hisses, clearly seething. I attempt a laugh, but a sharp pain shoots through my side, forcing me to double over and expose my left side.
I hear a sharp intake of breath from Beck. “Ezra, what did you do?” Finally, my eyes lock with hers. She’s terrified and concerned, her expression says it all. I quickly break our gaze. Blake crouches down, examining my injuries. His hand covers his mouth in disbelief.
“Damn it, Ezra, you’ve taken this way too far,” he mutters.
Beck steps forward, her expression a mix of confusion and concern.
“Wait, what do you mean by that, Blake?” She turns her gaze back to me, her eyes scanning my side and leg.
Suddenly, they widen, as if a lightbulb has gone off in her head.
It’s as if she’s finally pieced together the secret I’ve been hiding from her all this time.
“You knew about this? Is this why you always keep your shirt on? You’ve been hurting yourself, and I had no idea?
” A sob escapes her lips, filled with disbelief.
Blake looks at me, shaking his head, his brows furrowing as he struggles to contain his emotions.
It’s clear he’s not doing this for me, but for Beck.
He quickly stands up and pulls her in for a tight hug.
She starts hitting his chest in frustration.
“How could you keep this from me? What if I could have helped him?”
I shout, “Stop fucking talking like I’m not right here!
” My teeth clench as I prop myself up, but my head spins, a result of sitting up too fast and surely the large alcohol intake.
“There was nothing you could have done to stop me, B. It was better that you didn’t know.
This was never your problem to fix.” My words come out harsh, but it’s too late to take them back.
Beck shakes her head at me, and my gaze drifts past her, catching sight of someone standing behind her.
My eyes widen as Raina steps up beside the twins, her arms crossed tight, and I can see she’s on the brink of breaking down. She’s barely holding it together.
“What is she doing here?” I demand.
Blake rakes his hand through his hair. “When I saw you on the camera, lying on the floor with broken glass all around, I knew something was off and that she might be the only one who could break through your thick fucking skull.”
I scoff at his words. “How did you even get in touch with her?”
Blake shoots me a glare. “How do you think? Callie. I had Beck swing by and pick Raina up.”
I struggle, but I manage to plant both hands on the floor and pull myself up.
Standing in front of the three of them, my gaze fixes on Raina.
Her eyes speak to me, conveying disappointment, worry, and that familiar sense of pity—all the things I truly loathe.
I run a hand through my hair, swaying unsteadily.
“Well, I guess it’s nice for you all to finally see me like this…
it’s been a long time coming.” I stumble over to the alcohol, grab the nearest bottle, pop it open, and take a long chug.
“Ezra, stop!” Raina’s voice halts me in my tracks. I’ve longed to hear it again. Turning around, I see her standing there, looking up at me. She slowly reaches for the bottle, gently placing it back on the counter. I look down at her, pressing my lips together, caught in the moment.
“Ezra, what’s going on? Is this about your mom?” Raina asks, concern etched on her face. I tilt my head in confusion as she glances back at the twins. “Beck told me what today is. I’m really sorry, I didn’t know, or I would’ve—”
I interrupt her, stepping closer. “You would have what, Raina?”
She furrows her brows at me before replying, “I would have reached out to you.”
I let out a laugh, running my fingers through my hair before moving past her toward the bar counter where my things are thrown around.
“Since you all need to know,” I say, grabbing the crumpled piece of paper and tossing it at the twins.
Blake barely manages to catch it. I lean on the counter as he unfolds it.
Beck stands nearby, watching as they read.
I can see their expressions shift in shock. In unison, they both look up at me.
“What’s going on?” Raina asks from behind.
“Dude, what the hell…I don’t even know what to say,” Blake says, grabbing his head and pacing anxiously. Beck remains silent, her gaze fixed on me.
Raina emerges from behind the bar, grabbing the paternity results from Blake.
As she scans the paper, I can see the confusion flicker across her face.
She looks up at me and asks, “Wait, is this your uncle…from the fire?” I stay silent, letting the stillness speak for itself.
She sets the paper down on the counter with urgency and walks back toward me, attempting to give me a hug.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” I shout.
She halts, taking a step back. “Ezra, why are you acting like this? We’re just trying to help.”
I snarl loudly, “I don’t want anyone’s help!
Haven’t I made that crystal fucking clear?
” I start laughing maniacally, my fists clenched at my sides.
As I move closer to her, she recoils. “Please, tell me, what kind of help could you possibly offer? Are you going to bring my parents back from the dead? Are you going to erase the fire that happened? Go on, enlighten me.” She keeps quiet, letting me vent my frustrations.
I continue towering over her, stepping forward, eventually pushing her into the wall.
Her eyes glaze over, but she stands strong, never breaking eye contact with me.
“This is what you wanted, Raina…y-you wanted to see the real me, the broken me? Well, here I fucking am!” I pound my fist against my chest repeatedly.
“Now hate me…fucking hate me...like I hate me!” I slam my fist into the wall inches away from her face, sheet rock crumbles, falling to the floor beside us.
Her hands fly over her mouth as tears fall from her green eyes.
I try to catch my breath, searching her face.
For the first time since knowing her, I see fear in her eyes.
She’s scared of me. What have I done? I’m the monster I’ve tried to protect her from.
I stumble back to give us space before reaching out to touch her, but pull my hand back quickly when she flinches.
What the fuck am I doing? I grab my hair, ripping strands from my scalp.
I glance at Blake as Beck is in his arms, crying.
All three of them are staring at me like they don’t know me.
I’ve been a monster all along, and I couldn’t contain it anymore.
I bring my blurry gaze back to her. “Raina…I-I didn’t mean to.
Fuck…I-I’m sorry….I…” Exhaustion envelopes me, like heavy weights pulling me down.
I collapse onto the hard floor, defeated.
My head droops between my shoulders. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to find any control left in my worn body.
I feel soft hands gently resting along my jaw.
When I lift my eyes to her, I realize she’s kneeling in front of me, her gaze shimmering with tears.
“Ezra,” she says, her voice breaking painfully.
She grips the back of my head and pulls me against her chest, cradling me like I’m fragile.
A deep ache wells up in my throat, and I can’t help but wrap my arms tightly around hers.
Suddenly, a long, anguished cry escapes me, and my entire body starts to shake uncontrollably.
She doesn’t say a word. She just holds me like the broken man I am.
In that moment, it feels like my mom is holding me again, comforting me as she always did.
I can’t hold back any longer, all the pain I’ve kept buried, the guilt, and the constant mental torment rush out of me.
My body can’t bear it alone anymore, and I finally let it all spill out.