Chapter Thirty-One
“Good! That’s it! Keep pushing!” the doctor encourages from the bottom of the hospital bed. I grip her hand tightly, nerves running high. I glance down at her; she looks so uncomfortable and in pain.
“Is she okay? Can someone check on her again?” I ask, my voice tinged with urgency.
“She’s fine. She’s doing great,” the nurse assures me, trying to calm my anxiety. I tug at my hair with my other hand, feeling helpless as she endures so much.
“Raina, is there anything I can do for you? Please, just tell me—”
She suddenly yells, clenching her teeth. “Just shut up and squeeze my damn hand, Ezra!” she commands. I shoot a quick look at the nurse, who struggles to suppress a grin. For once, I obey her. My little feisty rainstorm.
“Alright, here we go, just one big push—” A small cry interrupts the doctor mid-sentence.
I quickly turn my gaze to him, and a wide smile spreads across his face as he lifts his arms. My eyes widen as I take in the sight of the tiny human cradled in his hands.
He looks at us both and announces, “Congratulations, it’s a girl!
” Raina gasps in joy, her eyes sparkling with fresh tears as she meets my gaze.
I squeeze her hand, gently rubbing my thumb along her palm.
We had agreed to keep the gender a surprise, and I would have been over the moon either way.
I just wanted Raina and our baby to be healthy.
I watch intently as the doctor carefully places our baby on Raina’s stomach.
A rush of pride floods over me when I catch a glimpse of her tiny face.
“Oh, she has your dark hair, Ezra!” Raina cries, tears of happiness streaming down her cheeks as she gazes at our daughter.
I can’t believe it—I’m a father. A warmth spreads through me, an emotion I’ve never experienced before.
The nurse holds out a tool toward me with a reassuring smile.
“Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?” I swallow hard, my nerves kicking in as I worry about messing it up, but I reach for the tool with my trembling hand.
“Don’t worry, I’ll guide you,” the nurse says, sensing my apprehension.
I take a deep breath and nod at her. She points out the spot where I need to cut, and for a moment, I hesitate, glancing at Raina.
She offers a reassuring smile, encouraging me to continue.
Holding my breath, I press down on the tool, my heart racing as I watch it slice through the umbilical cord.
“There! All finished,” the nurse says with a cheerful tone as she picks up the baby and starts to walk away.
“Wait! Where are you taking her?” I call out, feeling a wave of anxiety wash over me.
Raina gently grips my arm. “Ezra, they’re just going to weigh her and check her out.
It’s okay, just breathe,” she reassures me, offering a tired smile and giving my arm a soothing rub.
I glance back at the nurse, unable to shake my worries.
When another nurse enters, my nerves spike even higher.
I never anticipated this situation would be so intense, and I’ve only been standing here supporting Raina.
“She’s six pounds and one ounce, and nineteen inches long,” one of the nurses announces.
“Is that good? Is she healthy?” I shoot back nervously.
The nurse nods quickly, her attention focused on the task at hand. “Yes, for being a bit early, that’s a great weight and length.” A sigh of relief escapes me. Despite the overwhelming stress of the moment, it’s comforting to know that everything has gone smoothly and the baby is healthy.
Finally, the nurse who assisted during the delivery returns, cradling our little girl in a soft, light pink blanket.
She gently hands the baby to Raina, placing her against her chest. “Alright, here’s the big question…
have we chosen a name yet?” the nurse asks.
I glance at Raina, who is completely entranced by the baby. She smiles.
“We have. It’s Esther Adele.” My heart skips a beat, sending a rush of excitement through me, along with something else I can’t quite grasp.
“Really?” I murmur, barely able to contain my surprise. Raina looks up at me, tears welling in her eyes. She presses her lips together and nods.
“That’s a beautiful name!” the nurse utters as she walks back to the other side of the room. I turn my attention back to Raina, feeling a whirlwind of emotions I’ve never felt before.
“Did you just decide that?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “No, I’ve known for a long time that if we had a girl, I wanted her to have that name,” she confides.
I lean down and kiss her gently on the head, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
Words seem inadequate to express the depth of this moment and what it means to me.
And for a moment, I can’t help but wish mom were here to see it all.
My heart swells with love as I admire my two girls forming their bond.
Mine. They are mine. My eyes glaze over, witnessing the way Raina gazes at Esther.
She was always meant to be a mom. She’s a natural, just as I knew she would be.
I can’t believe we are here in this moment now together.
My thoughts drift back to the day Raina broke the news to me.
Raina’s confession lingers in my mind as I try to wrap my head around it all.
We had sex twice, once with a condom and the other time I pulled out.
I keep replaying the details from that night and the morning after, searching for anything I might have overlooked.
Yet, every moment we shared is etched in my memory as if it happened just yesterday.
I glance back at her while she paces nervously. “Are you sure?” I ask softly.
She pauses, running her fingers through her hair. “Yes. They had to check me when I got to the hospital. I found out shortly after waking up. My aunt and Cassie knew before I did.” A wave of anxiety washes over me.
“How did they take it?”
Raina bites her bottom lip, flinching slightly from her injury. “Well, they were surprisingly okay with it. They handled the news better than I anticipated. I think they were mostly just shocked given my condition.” She lets out a forced laugh.
I flex my fingers at my sides, still struggling to grasp the reality of the situation. “I’m just trying to understand how this could happen. I really thought we were safe, given everything.”
She shakes her head, her expression heavy.
“I thought so, too. I told the doctor that. But…he explained that there are several ways this could have happened. First off, it was during my most fertile time after my period. Then there’s the chance the condom could have broken or had a defect.
And even with the pull-out method, it only takes the tiniest amount.
” She pauses, taking a moment to collect herself.
“The doctor seemed stunned by my condition when he looked over my medical history. He mentioned that there could be various complications.” She stops, trying to hold back tears.
“What complications, Raina?” I ask, feeling the tension in the room. She furrows her brows, biting her lip.
“Just different complications during the pregnancy. I’m at a higher risk of miscarrying because of my condition—” Her lips shake as she fights to finish the thought.
“Come here,” I demand. She brings her watery gaze to me, slowly walking over and sitting on the edge of the mattress. I pull her into my arms, trying to ignore how sore I am. I rest her head under my chin, rubbing her back. “Whatever you go through, we’ll go through it together, okay?”
I hear her sniffling as she lifts her head. “Do you mean that? I-I thought you never wanted kids? I don’t want to be a burden for—”
I grab her face, careful not to hit her stitches.
I kiss her tenderly. God, I needed this for so long.
Her mouth on mine. I release her, gently kissing where her lip wound is.
I then hold her face, staring into her green eyes.
“I’ve said many foolish things, Raina. And honestly, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.
But I’ll learn for you. I’ll do better for you, f-for our baby. ” She gasps at my words.
I rub my thumbs along her jaw. “I fucking love you, which means I will love this baby growing inside you.”
She smiles at me. “I love you, too,” she whispers.
Something flips in me. Hearing those words come from her mouth for the first time.
She fucking loves me? How did I become so lucky to be loved by someone like her?
I pull her in again, sliding my tongue past her lips.
I moan into her mouth, remembering the way she tastes and how crazy she makes me in all the best ways.
I need her now, in this moment, more than I need air.
I pull away, but our lips remain touching, as we breathe each other in.
“Lock the door,” I groan.
“What?” she breathes out.
“Hurry and lock the door.” I release her, and she does as I say, looking back at me multiple times.
She turns around, pressing her body against the locked door. “Now come here and take your pants off.” I say stern-like.
“Ezra, what? No…you are hurt badly.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, slightly grinning.
“Raina, I’ll be okay. My dick isn’t broken.
” She sucks her lips in, holding in a smile.
With no hesitation, she walks back over to me, unbuttoning her jeans.
I watch as she pulls them down along with her panties.
I lick my lips, remembering how deliciously intoxicating she is.
I lean over, wincing as I rip the monitor plug from the wall, then quickly pull the IV out of my hand.
Raina gasps, opening her mouth to say something, but she stays silent.
I lay back, propping up on the pillows. “Get on top of me.” She looks back at the door, as if thinking someone will come in.
When she looks back at me. She looks feral.