Chapter 5
Mikayla and I were on the floor playing with some building blocks I purchased for her when the doorbell rang.
“I got it, Grandma!” I shouted to my grandmother, who was in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure if she was expecting company, but I knew she was in the middle of fixing food.
I looked down at Mikayla when the bell rang again. I picked her up because I didn’t want to leave her unattended.
“I wonder who it could be.” I tickled her belly as we walked to the front door.
My stomach fluttered when I opened the door, and Arsel was on the other side. I licked my dry lips when he smiled at me. He wore a skullcap, a black coat, boots, and sweatpants. Most of the time, his attire consisted of sweats unless we were going on a date or scrubs when he worked.
“Are you going to let me in?” He smirked like he knew I was admiring him.
I rolled my eyes and stood back. I heard him chuckle as I put Mikayla down.
“What brings you by?” I asked when he entered the living room.
For a few seconds, he stared at Mikayla, then focused his attention on me.
“Janiyah, who was at the do—” My grandmother’s words halted when she spotted Arsel. “Arsel, hey.” She walked over toward him as he stood and opened his arms.
“Hey, Grandma. How are you?” He hugged her, and they held each other for a few long seconds.
I knew my strained marriage affected their relationship as well, and I hated it.
“I’m good, baby. What brings you by?”
Arsel looked at me, then sat back down. “I came by to talk to my wife.”
The way those women be on social media screaming, “my man, my man,” Arsel was the my wife type of guy. I loved that for me when things were better between us.
“Well, alright. I’ll take the little one with me to give you guys some privacy.” Grandma bent down to pick up Mikayla. “Let’s see if we can find a little snack.” She lightly pinched Mikayla’s cheek, and she squealed.
She was such a happy baby, and I couldn’t be more thankful. I would take on the responsibility either way, but Mikayla made it easy.
I tucked my legs under my butt and got comfortable.
I was nervous about what Arsel had to say.
Maybe he was ready to end our marriage since I signed the papers and didn’t talk to him about it.
Or maybe he found someone else since we were apart for months.
He still wore his ring, though, but I knew that didn’t matter to some women.
I bit my bottom lip and stared at the floor while my thoughts spiraled.
I wasn’t trying to get a divorce; I just wanted him to compromise.
“Baby, you good?” Arsel put his hand on my leg.
I cleared my throat and looked up at him. My pulse quickened as he stared at me. “I’m okay.”
Him calling me baby was a good sign, and my pulse raced every time he said it.
“I came by to tell you that I went to the lawyer’s office and signed the papers last night.”
My posture stiffened because I wasn’t expecting him to say that.
“What made you change your mind?”
“I never actually made up my mind either way. I admit I got nervous. This is a big step for us. It’s also the reason why we aren’t in the best place right now.
I also know that it is the right thing to do, not just for her, but for us.
” He placed his hand on my knee and gazed into my eyes.
“I want you and Mikayla to come and stay at the house. I need you to come home, baby.”
The look in his eyes made my stomach tighten. All this time, I wanted him to ask me to come back home, and now that he had, I wasn’t sure of what to do. Would he have asked if we didn’t have Mikayla?
“Are you sure about this?”
He glanced away for a second, then turned back toward me. His hand rested comfortably on my leg.
“I am. I can’t let you do this alone, and definitely not in a different household.
We agreed together to be her godparents, so we have to do this together.
” He moved a little closer to me. “And I want to work things out with us. I know it may not happen overnight, but I missed the fuck out of you, baby.”
I could see the sincerity in his eyes, and it made me feel like going home was the right thing to do. It wasn’t fair to my grandmother for Mikayla and me to be in her house, even though she didn’t mind. She raised me, and she should be enjoying her life, not spending her days with a toddler.
“I miss you too, Arsel. I think we could come back to the house, but I think I’ll sleep in the guest room.”
His shoulders slumped, but I wasn’t quite ready to just jump back into things like we hadn’t been apart.
“I don’t like the idea, but I’ll play by your rules. For now. I know everything will be an adjustment for us, but we will work this out. We will get through this together. He kissed my cheek, then stood. “Let’s get you two packed up so we can go home.”
Home. The word made my temperature rise. I missed my home just as much as I missed my husband. We purchased the house we had because of me, so the fact that I hadn’t been there made me sad. I was also happy to go back there, even though I was uncertain about everything.
My grandmother’s house was comfortable, but it wasn’t home for me.
“Okay.” I stood from the couch and took his outstretched hand.
We told my grandmother what was going on, and she was excited.
She kept Mikayla with her while Arsel and I packed our things.
I didn’t have a lot for Mikayla since it had only been a few days, but she had enough.
I kept some of her stuff there because I knew we would still spend time at my grandmother’s house, even if we didn’t live there.
There were so many things Arsel and I needed to discuss, but it would have to wait until we got to the house. I wanted to get there and get Mikayla acclimated to it before her bedtime. I would probably have to let her sleep in bed with me until we could get a room set up for her.
It only took about an hour to get everything packed and loaded into Arsel’s car. He left a little before us, so Mikayla and I could say goodbye to my grandma.
“The Lord and her parents gave you two that baby for a reason. I think this is the first step to getting your marriage back on track,” my grandmother said as we sat on the couch.
“Maybe you are right. I just want to do the right thing for this little one.” I kissed the top of Mikayla’s head as she rested on my chest. She’d fallen asleep after she had lunch and played a little while Arsel and I packed.
“You will. Go on and get home. Walter should be coming over any minute.”
I groaned when she shimmied her shoulders.
“Don’t be out being grown,” I teased as I stood.
“You need to be grown with your husband once that baby goes to bed.” She placed a kiss on Mikayla’s cheek. “Go on now. Call me later or at least text me.” She winked and opened the front door.
I shook my head and laughed as I walked down the steps to my car.
My grandmother stood on the porch and watched me until I was inside.
I had remote start, so the car was already warm.
I waved at Grandma so she could close the door.
It was too cold for her to have the door wide open.
Once she waved back and closed the door, I pulled out of the driveway.
“Let’s go home, baby girl.”
Hours later, Arsel sat in the living room. I was surprised when we got to the house, and he had already converted one of the rooms for Mikayla. He even baby-proofed the whole house. I was grateful for the effort he put in, and it made me look at him in a different light.
We had dinner together and played with Mikayla before I bathed her. Arsel even read her a bedtime story while I showered.
“How is this going to work?” I asked after I took a sip of the wine Arsel poured for us.
“I don’t know for a fact, if I’m being honest. I do know that I will do the best I can to help you in any way that I can.
My schedule is still kind of hectic, but I’m here, baby.
I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not letting you leave again.
I know you said you want to sleep in the other room, and I’ll respect that.
But make no mistakes about it. I’m not giving you too much time, Janiyah.
It has been months since I got to touch you, hug you, kiss you.
Shit, feel you. I’m going to show you how much I want this and want you.
Be prepared, baby. I’m going to show you why you fell in love with me in the first place. ”
The confidence in his words made me want to jump his bones, but I had to calm myself down. I believed him, but I needed him to prove it.
“You don’t think we are in over our heads, do you?” Signing those papers was the right thing to do, but at the same time, I felt like I hastily made my decision. I couldn’t imagine us being the reason why Mikayla went into foster care.
“A little.” Arsel chuckled. “I know we can do it, though. Monica and Trevor knew it too.”
Tears pricked my eyes as I thought about the loss of our friends.
“Come here.” Arsel lifted his arm, and I scooted closer to him. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. “We got this, and I got y’all.”
Our life was about to make a huge adjustment, but I would do everything in my power to make sure that little girl had the best life she could have. I also looked forward to seeing what Arsel had up his sleeve.