Chapter Twenty #2
All I can do is nod silently, still staring at my feet as they shift from one side to the other.
Suddenly, Dad’s hand is clenching my shoulder to regain my focus.
“I know you think I’m being harsh, but I want what’s best for you.
It’s obvious that I didn’t do what I should have when you were younger.
I’m not going to make that same mistake twice.
If you choose to visit her, to talk to her, it’s your right to do so.
But she will not be stepping foot into our place of employment and make demands. Okay?”
“Okay.” It’s a weak sounding answer, but I get it. Clearing my throat, I dip my head again in acknowledgement of the situation. “I’ll ask Bodhi to come with me if he has time.”
It’s the last thing I want to do, mostly to save what little pride I have left when it comes to my mother. But I my father is going to be just as stubborn as I am. Something I clearly get from him.
He does something I don’t expect.
He pulls me in for a hug.
It’s a warm one.
A tight one.
Like he’s been wanting to do it for a while but held himself back. His sigh is heavy as his arms tighten once more around me before releasing me. “I’m sorry, Honor.”
I frown. “For what?”
“For…” His Adam’s apple bobs. “For not being there for you when I should have been.”
Cal excuses himself, leaving us alone.
“I want to be there for you now,” he adds. “If you’ll let me be. I know it won’t change the past, but I’d like to make up for it however I can.”
I’m not good with sappy moments, especially with someone I didn’t know was capable of getting all emotional.
“You don’t…” My mouth is dry. “You don’t need to do that, Dad.”
His eyes meet mine. “That’s the first time you called me dad.”
That can’t be true. Can it? I’m gaping at him as if it’s not possible. But… it could be. Because I was a petty kid with a lot of pent-up frustration. Thanks to Mom. Thanks to my own interpretation of how a father should act.
I’m an asshole. A giant one.
“Hey,” he says quietly. “Don’t.”
I frown. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t put this on yourself,” he says, somehow knowing what I’m thinking. “I’m the adult. I should have stepped up. Tried harder. That’s on me. Got it?”
I don’t agree, so I don’t say I do.
It doesn’t make me feel any better, anyway.
Dad squeezes my arm before backing up. “If you decide you want me to go with you, I can.”
We both know that’s not a good idea, so I shake my head. “That’s okay. Let’s just… Work on the future. Work on a relationship.”
His smile is small. Grateful. “All right.”
*
My father gets to Bodhi before I do, which is how I wind up standing in the lobby of the Plaza Hotel in midtown Manhattan with a professional hockey player by my side.
“Whoever’s card she used to pay for this is the dumbest person on the planet,” I mumble to Bodhi as I pull out the piece of paper that has the address and room number scrawled across it.
This hotel is almost two thousand dollars a night, and God only knows how long she’s been staying here. Why not our condo in Brooklyn? The only logical reason is that whoever she’s with prefers the lavish life. My childhood home certainly wasn’t anything special.
My only reference point of this place is Home Alone 2, and I remember the reaction Kevin’s dad had at the end when he got the credit card bill. I have a feeling whoever Mom’s flavor of month is will have a similar reaction when he sees what she’s racked up.
Hopefully, he isn’t here. I have an aversion to meeting the men in my mother’s life because I know they never last.
“I don’t know what my father said to you,” I begin, hesitant as I peek up at him through my lashes. “But I need to talk to my mother alone. I won’t go up to her room, because I don’t know who’s up there.”
Bodhi’s face darkens. “Should I be concerned about the company she keeps?”
I shrug limply. “Probably,” I admit sheepishly. It’s an honest answer, which makes his eye twitch. “Most of the men she brings in her life are just wealthy narcissists, but there are a few who get off on power trips. I don’t think any of the people would hurt me, but—”
“No,” he says in a voice I’ve never heard from him before. It’s booming and final. “If there’s somebody with her who can hurt you—”
“I said that won’t happen.”
“You can’t be sure,” he counters, shaking his head and standing taller. “If you want some privacy to talk to her, I won’t eavesdrop. But if there’s even the slightest chance that someone can go off on you, I’m going to be around.”
I swallow. “There’s not exactly a lot of privacy in the lobby.” It’s so large that my voice would probably echo. And if Mom gets set off…
Cringing at the thought, I shake my head. “I can see if there’s some sort of conference room or something. I’d rather not go to the bar because I have a feeling she’s already had her fair share of drinks today.”
The more I talk, the more Bodhi’s temperament changes. “Are you sure you want to talk to her? I could tell you were in your head the entire way here.”
Thanks to the Manhattan traffic, the twenty-minute drive turned into forty-minutes. Which left a lot of time to think about what she could want. Why she would show up at my place of employment and insist on speaking to me.
“I haven’t heard from her in a while,” I tell him, feeling a little defeated. “I’m worried that if I don’t see her, she’ll think I’m trying to completely cut ties. She’s still my mom, even if she was never a great one.”
I can tell Bodhi wants to argue, to find any excuse that would lead us anywhere but here, but he doesn’t come up with any. Because he’s a family man. Because he understands what regret feels like and doesn’t want me to feel that way if I turn her away and never hear from her again.
His voice is lighter, even though is stance is still stick-straight with caution. “Can I please be there with you, so I know that you’re okay?”
I don’t have time to answer before I see her.
And, like I thought, Mom is not alone.
But I gape as the two approach Bodhi and I with smiles plastered on their faces that look slimy and disingenuous.
I let out a tiny breath. “Max?”