Chapter Twenty-Two
DAZE
A ragged breath tore from me as Arina pressed her ass back against my pelvis. My body heated at her touch. I wasn’t sure if it was the margaritas talking, or the way she moved just right to the thrum of the music, but my head was spinning.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
When I decided to dance with her, I expected clarity. I expected confirmation that I was gay, and my crush on her was something fleeting. That I was only intrigued because of her newness, and that once I got comfortable with her, the feelings would disappear.
However, my semi-hard cock and the urge to let my hands wander begged to differ.
I was enjoying myself way more than I should have been.
Fuck .
I wanted to run my fingers over the soft flesh of her stomach and let my lips dance up the column of her neck. I wanted to press my body against hers until no space remained. To let myself feel the connection and affection I’d been so desperate for. Things that Night couldn’t— wouldn’t —give.
Arina had officially awakened something in me, and the longer she was pressed up against me, the clearer it became.
I was attracted to her.
More than that, I liked her.
The way she listened when I spoke and initiated conversations. The way she wanted to spend time with me. The way she looked at me instead of through me…
All of it hit me like a freight train, opening my eyes to things I didn’t realize I’d been missing. But it also presented more questions, more problems.
How could I possibly admit how I felt? From the little I knew, she’d been through hell before she found the sideshow.
She wasn’t in a place to foster feelings for someone, and there was no telling if she even liked me.
She was tipsy and enjoying herself, and I was a safe male for her to be vulnerable with.
All of this, her dancing against me and grabbing my hands to keep her balance, was probably just fun.
Besides, I was technically already sleeping with someone. Night and I weren’t actually dating, but things were complicated. I was hardly in a place to pursue anyone.
Unless she’s into sharing…
I nearly laughed at the thought and shoved it down. I was getting ahead of myself.
For now, all I wanted to focus on was losing myself to the music and admiring how she responded to my touch. We could figure out everything else later. She might not even speak of tonight again, and that would be alright too.
The song switched to something slower and more sensual, and Arina’s movements changed in turn. She rolled her hips to the beat, pressing her ass back against me more firmly, and my cock throbbed. Typically, I did the teasing, performing for Night at every one of his whims, not the other way around.
He was never tender and rarely took his time.
He demanded and took what he wanted.
I could tell that Arina was different. She enjoyed the dance, the tease, the chase. She’d take her time, work me up, and I’d do the same for her.
Did I know what that entailed? Not in the slightest.
But for her, I’d learn.
For her….
A groan rolled up my throat, and I couldn’t hold myself back anymore.
The delicious thoughts of her taking over my mind had my hands dipping beneath the material of her shirt.
My fingers trailed over her impossibly soft skin, teasing the top of her pants, and my cock throbbed again.
I could feel the warmth of precum soaking into my boxers, but I didn’t care.
She could rub against me until I came all over myself, and I still wouldn’t be bothered.
As long as this moment didn’t end.
I dipped my head lower, brushing the tip of my nose against her neck, and felt her shudder against me. She was so responsive to my touch. I could only imagine what she would do if I took one of her nipples between my teeth, if I sank between her thighs.
“Fuck,” I groaned, grabbing her hips a little harder and guiding her movements.
My cock was fully hard now, straining against the front of my pants, desperate for more friction. I’d no doubt be jerking it later, imagining Arina’s body all over mine. Imagining what her hands would feel like on my cock. What her mouth would feel like…
I brushed my lips along the pale skin of her neck, knowing I was playing with fire. I was toeing the line, seconds away from risking everything, but the way she consumed my mind was too intense to ignore. I wanted her, more of her, regardless of us being surrounded by dozens of people in the club.
“Arina,” I managed, not sure what to say next.
What was there to say?
She’d been grinding on my cock for countless songs, and she hadn’t turned down any of my advances so far.
Maybe she wants me too…
The air caught in my lungs, nerves wiggling through me. I didn’t drink nearly enough to be tipsy, and my anxiety was out in full force. If I wanted to make a move, there wouldn’t be a better time.
This was my chance.
I cupped her cheek with my hand and guided her face upward at just the right angle to press my mouth against hers.
For a second, her lips were hard and unyielding, and I worried I’d ruined everything with the single impulsive move.
But after a beat, her lips parted against mine, giving my tongue access.
She tasted like strawberry margaritas with something sweet underneath, like candy. Cotton candy? I wasn’t sure, but she was delicious.
Heat pooled low in my stomach as she spun in my arms without breaking the kiss and pressed against me, her hands dipping beneath my shirt and brushing over my abs. My brain stalled out, trying to reboot.
My tongue slid over hers, swirling inside her mouth, and I forgot what to do with my hands. I forgot what to do at all, completely lost in the moment and the emotions sparking through me, until she gasped and pushed me away.
Nerves gripped my insides, threatening to rip me apart. My eyes flew open to see her staring up at me, confusion evident in her gaze.
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly.
Maybe I had completely misread the signs. Maybe I pushed too much, went too far.
“I should have asked. I…” Panic fried my thoughts, and the words spilled out before I could stop them. I’d ruined everything. I knew it. “We can leave if you want… I won’t do it again.”
“Daze, stop.” She held up her hands. “It’s okay. I promise.”
I froze, thankful that the rest of the dancers were completely oblivious to what was happening between us. I was embarrassed enough without an audience.
“I guess I’m just a little confused,” she said, chewing the corner of her mouth. The pounding music nearly swallowed her words. “What about Night? I don’t want to step on any toes. If you two are together, I don’t want to come between you.”
I gently shook my head. “I told you it was complicated. Night and I aren’t together. Fuck buddies at best, if you want to give it a label, but he’s had years to make things official, and he won’t. Besides, I’m just a beta, Arina. What could an alpha like Night want with me in the long run?”
She stared up at me for a long moment without responding, and I could see the gears turning in her mind.
“Exactly. Nothing.” Disappointment punched me in the gut, but it wasn’t anything I didn’t already know. I’d always known that Night and I couldn’t be together forever. He was an alpha, and he’d eventually find another mate.
I was just a placeholder.
“I’m sorry?—”
“Don’t be.” I reached for her hand, and she allowed me to pull her against me. As soon as she was in my arms, the throb of pain in my chest ebbed. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed. So this is me asking, can I kiss you… again?”
Every second that the question hung in the air between us, my insides tightened and twisted until it became unbearable. She was thinking, calculating, and I couldn’t blame her. I’d thrown a lot at her, but I didn’t want to pressure her. I wanted her to make the choice.
Even if it was just this once, I wanted to taste her again. To savor her sweetness, commit it to memory. I wanted to milk this moment for everything it was worth.
“Yes,” she said finally, and a sigh of relief rushed out of me. “But hurry up before I change my mind.”
I laughed. I didn’t need to be told twice.
My lips crashed against hers, and I breathed her in, determined to brand this moment on my soul in case it was the last chance I ever had to be this close to her.