Chapter 9
A little more than a week later Ronan showed up at the shelter again, but this time it was early morning.
He’d been there a few times since sharing dinner with Giada and the boys, and while always polite, she never failed to try to convince him that the last thing he wanted was to be involved with her.
So he was trying a new approach this time.
He walked in to the reception area, but instead of going straight to the reception window, where Giada sat, he didn’t even look over at the window.
Instead, he went right through, his sights set on the gym near the back of the building.
Giada remained at her desk, but stood a few times to glance around the reception room. Shaking her head, she sat back down. She glanced up again, and let out a frustrated sigh. “He just ignored me,” she mumbled under her breath before getting back to work.
Five minutes later the front door opened again and Havoc walked through. He looked around the reception area, then took only a couple of more steps inside. He looked around again, then approached the window.
Before he could say anything Giada noticed him, recognized him as one of the family members of the people who’d started the shelter, and stood smiling. “Hi, can I help you?”
“Yeah, actually, you can. I’m looking for my brother. He said he’d meet me here, and I don’t see him,” Havoc said.
“Who’s your brother?” she asked.
“Ronan. You know him? You seen him around?”
“Ronan’s your brother?” she asked.
“Yep. I’m Havoc, he’s Ronan, we’re brothers. Can’t you tell from our charming personalities?” he asked, leaning on the ledge right beneath the window and giving her his most disarming smile.
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were Mrs. Valerie’s son, too. I just knew you were connected to one of the founding families somehow.”
“Valerie and Maverik are our parents. We got a sister, too, her name’s Hell. But Ronan’s the baby of the bunch. Come to think of it, we got another sister and brother, too, but they’re older and live out of state. That’s beside the point, though. Did Ronan come in here?”
“He did. But I’m not sure where he went.”
“He didn’t tell you?” Havoc asked.
“No, he just walked right by. Almost like he didn’t see me, but I know he knew I was here,” she said, unable to hide the irritation in her voice.
Havoc nodded thoughtfully. “That’s some shit, ain't it? You think you got somebody all figured out and then they up and do something completely unexpected.”
“Uh… yes?” she answered, as more of a question than a real answer.
“Anyway, I’m going to find him. We’re supposed to be meeting here, but he’s supposed to head off to school, too, so I gotta find him before he heads out and I lose my chance to say goodbye.”
“He’s leaving for school?!” she exclaimed.
“Oh, yeah. He’s got to get back to working on them degrees.
They’re not gonna earn themselves. I’ll see you later, sugar,” Havoc said with a wink.
He walked away from the reception window and toward the double doors that opened up on the rest of the building.
“Hey, if he comes through here again, ask him if he’s seen me, and if he says no, make his ass stay here until I come back. ”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Thanks.” Havoc flashed her a blinding smile and disappeared through the double doors Ronan had gone through just a short while before.
Giada sat down heavily in her chair, her brain running through the information she’d learned from Havoc.
Apparently, Ronan was returning to school, which meant he’d be leaving.
She was definitely aggravated when she picked up a folder and slammed it down on her desk.
She flipped it open and started flipping the pages a little forcefully before she got to the one she was looking for.
Huffing out a deep breath, she started typing in the information in the folder.
“I bet he wasn’t even going to tell me,” she grumbled as she typed.
She lost herself typing, quickly working through the data she needed to enter until more than an hour had passed.
The double doors opened and the sound of hurried footsteps could be heard rushing through the reception area.
Giada looked up to find Ronan jogging through the room. “Ronan!” she called out, quickly stepping out from behind her desk and approaching the window.
Ronan glanced over his shoulder toward her and waved, but didn’t stop.
“Wait! You can’t leave yet,” she called out.
“I gotta go. I should have been gone.”
“Your brother is Havoc, right?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said, finally pausing long enough to turn back to look at her.
“He said if you came back through here, I should ask you if you’ve seen him. So, have you seen him?”
“No. What does he want?”
“He said you should stay here until he can find you.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I got the impression he wanted to say goodbye before you leave for school.”
Ronan looked down at his watch, and grimaced. “I guess I can wait for a second or two.” He kind of meandered in place, looking out of the front windows, then back at the double doors he’d just come through.
“You’re really leaving to go back to school?” Giada asked.
“Yes. I can’t afford to sit out a semester. I’ve got to get back to it.”
“Were you even going to tell me goodbye?” she asked.
“I hadn’t really thought about it,” Ronan said.
“Why not? Are we not friends?” she asked. “I’d like to know that you went back to school rather than just not seeing you around anymore and not knowing why.”
“I honestly didn’t think you’d care one way or the other. And it’s just school.”
Giada nodded, then stepped back behind the window opening and out of sight.
Ronan could hear her footsteps and knew she was leaving her office and coming out to where he was.
It only took a moment and she was walking toward him across the reception room.
She came to a stop right in front of him.
“I’m sorry. I know I gave you the impression that I didn’t care, and in fact just wanted you to go away.
But it wasn’t that I didn’t care. I was just trying to keep things simple, and not make any close friendships that would hurt if I had to suddenly slip away, and I was trying to keep you safe, too.
But I should have made sure that you understand that I do care.
I hope that you have a very successful school year and I wish you all the best.”
“Okay,” he said, clearly a little confused.
“You don’t believe me,” she said.
“Giada, you made your wants perfectly clear. I respect that. It’s not how I wanted things, but I have to respect what you want.
And now you’re out here trying to apologize for what?
For making your boundaries known? That doesn’t call for an apology.
I wanted more, you didn’t. We’re good. But now you feel bad about it? Is that because now you want more?”
“I don’t know what I want. But I know that when I heard you were going off to school I felt sick at my stomach that you were planning on leaving without even saying goodbye.”
“I honestly didn’t think it was a big deal.”
“I do.”
He looked at her, really looked at her, and reminded himself of what he was doing.
“It can’t be both ways. Either you’re interested in me, or you’re not.
I’m not going to be any good at bouncing back and forth at your convenience.
That’s not who I am. Either we work on this thing we both obviously feel is just out of reach at the moment, or we don’t. ”
“You don’t understand what I’m coming from,” she said quietly.
“I think I do, to a degree. Your husband controlled you. He beat you when you didn’t walk the line he drew.
And he most likely threatened the kids to try to keep you in line.
You ran, and now you’re here trying to give them some sort of normalcy, but when it comes to any other man, you’re afraid to let them control you, so you keep yourself shut off. ”
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, but quickly blinked them away. “Maybe you do get it, some of it anyway.”
“I’m not him.”
“I know that.”
They stood there for a few seconds looking at each other.
“I have to go,” he finally said. His words were gentle, not rushed, almost apologetic even.
She nodded and backed up a couple of steps. “I’ll think of you. Take care of you.”
He tilted his head slightly and gave her a confused look.
“Hey! There you are! You’re gonna be late. Here’s my keys!” Havoc said, tossing the keys to his truck to him across the room.
“Here’s mine,” Ronan said, tossing Havoc the keys to his old truck.
“I’ll get that tire fixed today. And you owe me!”
“Thanks. I”ll bring yours back this afternoon.”
“Wait, aren’t you going back to school?” Giada asked.
“Yep. And speaking of, I gotta go!” he started for the door.
“Then how are you going to be back this afternoon? Don’t you go to M.I.T.?”
“I did. I transferred to Tulane.”
“What?! When did you do that?” she asked.
“Last week. I thought there was a reason to stay close to home. I was mistaken, but I’d already transferred, so Tulane it is.”
“So, you’re staying home now.”
Ronan smiled at her. “I gotta go, Giada.”
“But, I don’t understand! And there’s still so much I need to explain.”
“Tell you what, have dinner with me tonight, and you can explain whatever it is you want me to know.”
“The boys…” she said.
“They can come with us,” Ronan said.
“Or they can come with me and my wife and kids. They’d probably love to have some other kids to play with,” Havoc said.
“I… They…” Giada was stumbling over her own words.
“You got to go, brother,” Havoc said, shooing him. “Go!”
“I’m out. I’ll pick you up about six,” Ronan said to Giada.
Giada watched him speechlessly.
“Yes, or no, Giada?” Ronan said, as he walked halfway through the door and held it open as he waited for her answer.
She let go of the breath she was holding and nodded. “Yes. I’ll be ready.”
“I’ll see you then,” Ronan said, and hurried out.
Giada walked over to the door and watched through the glass as Ronan got in a very large white pickup truck that looked more luxurious than her house, and drove away. When she could no longer see him, she turned back toward her work area and found Havoc standing there watching her.
“You going to be here all day today?” Havoc asked.
“Yes.”
“I’m gonna call my wife and get her to come over and bring the kids.
You can meet her and the kids and see if your kids like playing with them.
That way you’ll be comfortable leaving them when you go out with Ronan tonight.
If you’re not, that’s fine, too, and you can take them with you.
But I really think it should be just the two of you. You have a lot to talk about.”
“I don’t want to be a burden to anybody,” she said, smiling at him.
“You sound just like Ronan,” Havoc said as he pressed his phone to his ear.
“Hey, baby! What cha doing?”
“Is it too much to come by the shelter before you head home? Ronan and his girl got a date tonight and I offered for us to watch the kids for her, but she don’t know us.”
Havoc looked up at Giada. “You know Maverik and Valerie, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“And you know Bam and Everly?” he asked.
“I do. They’re so nice,” Giada answered.
“They’re my wife’s parents. Maverik and Valerie are mine, like I already said.”
His attention went back to the phone he held against his ear. “Yeah, she knows them. But not us.”
He nodded a couple of times. “Unhuh. Yeah. Alright. Sounds good. We’ll see you then. Tell Harley I said to knock them dead. I love you, baby. See you shortly.”
Havoc ended the call and slipped it into his back pocket. “She’s dropping off our oldest daughter at school right now. They’ll swing by after they drop her off.”
“Thank you for trying to arrange everything for tonight,” Giada said.
“No problem. And listen, if you’re still not comfortable leaving your boys with us for a few hours, don’t be shy about telling us no thank you. It’s alright with us either way.
“Thanks for understanding.”
“You’re welcome. And thank you for giving my brother a chance.”
She smiled and gave a little laugh. “He’s… something special.”
“He is. And he’s the kindest, the most logical, and the most loyal of us all.
You pass him up, you’ll never meet anybody else like him.
And I mean that, not because he’s my brother, but because of the caliber of male he is.
He stands head and shoulders above me. But don’t tell him I said that, he’ll never let me live it down. ”