Chapter 15
Ronan got up and pulled his shirt back on, but instead of shorts, he just slipped into a pair of jeans.
“You forgot underwear,” Giada said, as she walked past him to the bathroom to take a quick shower.
“I figured I’d go commando from now on, so I’ll always be at the ready for any chance we get,” he said, pulling her in for a quick kiss just before she got out of reach. “You know this is more than sex to me, right?”
“I know the things you said to me. I know that it feels like more than just sex.”
“It is. I find it hard to express just exactly how important you are to me without repeating myself.”
“You’ve become important to me, too.”
He nodded and rested his forehead against hers. They stood there like that for a few moments until he let her go. “You going to take a shower?”
“Yes. I’ll be quick.”
“Take your time. I’ll go pick them up.”
“You sure?” she asked.
“I’m sure. I’ll be right back.”
And he was.
As they pulled into the driveway, both boys jumped up and down on the bench seat of the truck. “Is this your house?”
He parked the truck and turned off the ignition. “Alright, guys. I’m going to come around and get you out, okay?”
“Okay! Is Momma inside?”
“She is.” He walked around the truck, opened the door, and caught both boys as they barreled toward him. He carried both boys into the house, and closed the door behind them, before setting them down.
“Momma?!” Leo called out.
“I’m coming. I’m getting dressed,” she answered.
“You really live here?” Matteo asked.
“I do.”
“I want a house just like this one,” Matteo said.
“Me, too. It’s nice. And it doesn’t have a lot of steps you have to go up and down,” Leo said.
“You guys can go check it out if you want to,” Ronan said.
“Come on!” Matteo exclaimed.
Leo fell into step behind him and they ran out of the kitchen to explore.
Moments later Leo was back. “I like your house,” Leo said.
“Thanks. It’s not really mine. I’m just kind of staying here until mine gets built. It won’t be long.”
“Is it like this one?”
“Kind of. It’s more like an Acadian style house.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s got a big porch all the way around it with rocking chairs and places to sit, and it’s all on one level like this one, but it’s not directly on the ground. It’s raised up a little bit. Just four or five steps, not anything as raised as Havoc’s house. And there are no steps inside.”
“Why don’t you want to live in this one?” Leo asked.
“It belongs to my family, and we use it when other family members come from out of town to visit. I could buy it, but I’d rather build one of my own.”
‘Where you going to build it?”
“Across the street from Havoc. Just a little bit further down the street.”
“By the pool?” Leo asked excitedly, showing more excitement than was usual for him.
“You saw that, huh? We’d almost be beside the pool. We’d be the next house, but not right beside it. There’ll be some land between our house and the pool.”
“That would be so much fun. If I had a house by there I could swim any time I wanted to.”
“Do you know how to swim?” Ronan asked.
Leo got quiet and just shook his head. “I don’t have a pool anymore.”
“It’s okay. We have one here and I’ll teach you.”
“Do they let kids swim in the pool?” Leo asked, his voice quiet.
“Of course they do. They put it in so their kids would have a place to swim and play.”
“So, I could make noise and splash?”
“Absolutely. You just have to be careful if there is a baby younger than you. Just make sure you don’t splash toward them on purpose, but other than that, you can make all the noise you want.”
Leo smiled. “That’d be fun.”
“When it warms up a little, I’ll teach you how to swim. Okay?”
“Okay,” Leo said, with a wide smile as his excitement grew.
“They got a swing set next door!” Matteo shouted from a back bedroom.
“A real swing set?” Leo asked.
“Come see! I can see it from here!” Matteo yelled. “And there’s kids playing on it!”
Giada walked into the kitchen just as her child rushed past her. “They got a swing set, Momma! And more kids to play with!”
“Well, you have to go check it out. But you’ll have to eat breakfast first!”
“I know!” Leo exclaimed as he ran toward the back bedroom to see the swing set and the kids his brother was yelling about.
Ronan watched Giada as she watched her child go off in search of his brother. When she finally turned to him, he could see the sadness there.
“What’s that sadness for?” he asked, as he walked over and took her in his arms.
“We used to have a pool. A lavish pool, but the kids weren’t allowed to use it because my husband’s friends were always there and the boys laughing and squealing and splashing was irritating to him. It wasn’t in line with the composure his family should display at all times.”
Ronan shook his head slowly and closed his eyes, praying for the control to keep his comments to a minimum.
“How you managed to survive with him as long as you did, I’ll never know.”
“I had no choice in the matter at all. The day I finally ran, I had no idea where we were going or what would happen, but I knew at least the kids would be able to laugh and play and make noise and…”
“Not get screamed at or beaten for spilling things. Not forced to watch the adults swim while not being allowed to participate because they behave like children, because they are children.”
She nodded. “And not see their mother get beaten into unconsciousness when she tries to stand up for them. Not to see her dragged into a bedroom by her hair because their father’s been drinking and has decided it’s time she pays attention to him and not the quote unquote, ‘fucking kids’.
” Giada was shaking at this point and completely unaware of it.
There were silent tears streaming down her face without her notice, her gaze pinned on the wall behind him.
Ronan stroked her hair for a moment or two, then held her face in his hands as he made a soft shushing sound, bringing her words to a halt.
She snapped out of it and realized she’d lost herself in the horrible memories she could never quite break free from.
Her lips started trembling as she looked up at him.
Ronan quickly pressed his lips to hers, then to her forehead before he leaned back and looked down into her eyes. “It’s okay. You’re safe. You are safe. You’re never going to be near him again, and if he comes looking for you, I’ll kill him.”
She looked up at him, now clinging to his arms, where he still held her face gently in his hands. “He’s got so many men carrying out his orders…”
“Then they’ll die, too. I don’t care. Nobody will ever, ever threaten you, hurt you, frighten you, make you feel or do anything you don’t want to do again.
And those boys? They’re mine as far as I’m concerned.
They don’t belong to him, never did. They were meant to be mine.
You were meant to be mine and I will not allow another thing to darken their memories or yours. Alright?”
“You don’t understand what he’s like,” she whispered.
“You don’t understand what I am,” he countered. “Trust me. I’m begging you.”
She huffed out a quick laugh through her tears. “A Wolf shifter.”
He nodded. “You’ll see soon. I trust you. I just need you to trust me, too.”
“I want to, but how do I know you won’t turn out like he did, even just a little? You’re surrounded and supported by family in all things, it seems. You’re all close, and your wives and families all live on family land — it’s a compound. Can you see what I do?”
“The similarities? Some of them, yes. But we don’t abuse our women.
We don’t abuse our children. They are the entire reason we exist. We have regular jobs we go to every day.
We get paid a little better than most but that’s because our families own the businesses.
And yes, I heard what I just said. But every single thing we do is completely legal and above board. ”
“He’s so dangerous,” she whispered.
“He’s not as dangerous as we are. He’s nothing to us.”
“How? You keep saying that. What are you not telling me?”
He took a deep breath, but decided against telling her about them yet.
He couldn’t show her now anyway — the kids were here.
And he needed her to trust him first so she didn’t freak out.
“I plan on marrying you — with your permission, of course. I plan on raising your boys like my own. You’ll be safe for the rest of your lives.
No one will ever harm you. That wasn’t just words I spoke to Leo the first night we had dinner at the shelter.
I meant every word of it. But I know you don’t trust me.
I need you to believe in me before I can show you everything. Alright?”
“You holding back is what is holding me back,” she admitted.
“It’s kind of a case of my truth biting me in the ass, because I can only show you my truth when you trust me.”
“I’m trying,” she said.
“I know. And I’m patient. You’ll see in time.”
“Ronan?!” Leo asked, as he walked into the room.
“Yeah, buddy?” Ronan said.
“Do you have cereal? Like the really sugary kind that’s all different colors?”
“I might. Let me see. Everybody that stays here just leaves whatever food they didn’t finish in the pantry.”
“Okay,” Leo said, standing his ground as he watched Ronan and his mother have a serious conversation. He glanced toward the back of the house again, looked over at his mother still being held by Ronan, then leaned on one of the chairs at the kitchen table and simply watched them.
“You alright?” Ronan asked her quietly, stroking her face with his thumbs.
Giada nodded as she let go of his arms and pushed through his hold on her to press herself against him, her head against his chest as she closed her eyes, and hugged him tightly.
Ronan wrapped his arms around her and held her close, dropping kisses on the top of her head. “You’ll never have to be afraid again. Never.”
“Ewww, do you have to do that? It’s ewww,” Matteo said as he entered the room.
Ronan and Giada both laughed, and Giada eased away from Ronan to brush her hand at her tear stained cheeks. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to run to the bathroom real quick,” Giada said, still chuckling as she hurried past her kids.
Ronan went to the pantry and started digging around. “Jackpot!” he shouted. “Look what I found.” He took five different boxes of highly processed, brightly colored cereals out of the pantry and carried them over to the table. “I’ll get the milk and some bowls, and y’all can dig in.”
“I want the loop ones!” Matteo said, as he climbed up in one of the dining chairs.
“We’re going to have sausage and eggs and toast, too.”
“Yeah, I want the loops,” Matteo insisted.
“Fine with me, if it’s okay with your mom,” Ronan said. “What about you, Leo? You want just cereal or you want some sausages, too?”
“Why was my momma crying?” Leo asked.
Matteo looked up from the box of cereal he’d opened and started eating by the handful. “Momma was crying?” he asked, his voice hushed and whispery.
“Because she’s remembering how it used to be before you came here. And she was telling me about it. It still makes her sad, and that’s okay. It’s alright to feel sad about things even if they’ve changed. It helps you remember to appreciate when things are better.”
“Did you make her cry?”
“Not on purpose. I think her remembering is making her cry, because she wants only good things now, and sometimes it’s hard to believe good things when they are right in front of you because there was so much bad before.”
“That made her cry?”
“It did. And I think she’s afraid to believe everything is going to be good now. But it will be. I just promised her that she’d never have to be afraid again. That none of you would.”
“You said that before when we met you,” Leo said.
“I did.”
“Why’s she crying about it now?”
“Because I think maybe she’s finally starting to realize I’m telling her the truth.”
Leo watched Ronan for a few moments before he nodded, then walked over to the kitchen counter and chose the box with the bear on it. “I want this one.”
“Those are pretty good,” Ronan said.
Leo took his box of cereal over to the table and pulled out a chair before climbing up into it .
He watched as Ronan went to the refrigerator and took out a gallon of milk, then took two bowls out of a cabinet and a couple of spoons out of a drawer.
He walked over to the table and put a bowl and a spoon in front of each boy.
He filled the bowls with the cereal they wanted, then poured milk over it. “There y’all go. Dig in.”
He turned his back on the boys to put the milk back in the refrigerator and take the makings of breakfast out, too. “Let me know if you need anything else, okay?” he asked, without looking up.
“Are you going to marry our momma?” Leo asked.
Ronan froze, not quite sure how to answer.
Finally, he turned around and looked at both kids.
“I’m not going to lie to you. I hope that she’ll marry me one day.
I want that more than anything in the world.
And I want to be your dad, too. I want to protect all of you make sure you’re all happy.
But that all depends on your mother, because it’s her decision, not mine.
All I can do is tell her what I want. And all she can do is tell me what she wants, and hopefully we’ll want the same things and be able to be a family. ”
“What if she says no?” Leo asked.
“Then I’ll have to be okay with that. But I will also make sure that no matter where you guys are or what you’re doing, you’ll always be safe.”
Leo only looked at him for a few more seconds before he looked down at his cereal and shoveled another spoonful into his mouth.
Ronan went back to cooking breakfast, wondering what they’d think of all he’d tried to explain.
“I hope you’ll be our dad one day,” Leo said.
Ronan turned quickly, but instead of Leo looking at him, he was concentrating on his cereal.
But Matteo was watching Ronan and was chewing while he nodded his agreement.
“I hope so, too, buddy. But even if that doesn’t work out, I will always, always make sure you’re safe.”
Leo simply watched him for a few moments before he nodded. “Okay. I just want cereal. Then I want to play outside. We want to go see if we can play.”
“You can play. They’re nice kids. Their names are KJ, and Nora. Their parents are friends of ours and just like family.”
“Did I hear you saying you guys were going outside to play?” Giada asked, coming back into the kitchen more upbeat than she’d been before.
“Yes! Is that okay?” Leo asked.
“It certainly is,” Giada said.
“We’ll spend the whole day here just playing and being outside, and watching movies when you get tired. We might even order pizza or make burgers or something.”
“That’ll be fun!” Leo said.
“Hurry up and eat so we can go outside!” Matteo encouraged as he shoveled in another spoonful of cereal.