Chapter 2
two
“I look utterly preposterous.”
The woman in the mirror appears nothing like me.
“You’re such a bitch.” Ellis Williams, my roommate, swats my perfectly teased hair. I’ve never had teased hair. But she insisted on dressing us up for the party.
And I agreed.
Only because I have a sneaking suspicion that Ayan is up to something…
I slowly turn from side to side, inspecting the sparkles of my dress. “Sort of like one of those mid-century tinfoil Christmas trees.”
Ayan’s attention used to be completely focused on Beta and his studies. But unlike previous years, he’s now into partying. Not just partying. Now he’s showing off how much he can do.
That’s not the pre-med major I know.
Granted, he’s a senior. And he has his medical school admission already lined up. I don’t like men who aren’t focused.
No.
I don’t like people who aren’t focused.
“We need to stuff your bra or get you a push-up.” Ellis scans my thin frame, tapping her chin. “Stop running so much so you can grow some tits.”
“Seriously, fuck you. If I wanted to? I could pay for a pair. But I don’t want to.” Before we head out of the room, I consider wearing the padded bra I own…
No. That’s ludicrous. Utterly patriarchal.
“Don’t cover that dress up with a coat, either.” She warns me with a sharp nail pointed in my face.
“It’s January, Ellison. And freezing outside. I’m wearing a coat.”
“You brought out the full name, huh? Fine, fine. But as soon as we get in the door, you’re taking it off. That dress looks amazing on you and needs to be seen.”
My hands run along the sequins, and I have to admit, it’s pretty. Chintzy. And completely not my style, which is why it came from her closet. On her, it would be body-hugging. On me, it hangs a little. Still…if I were into sparkly dresses, it would be lovely.
“Let’s get this over with.”
We head out of Omega House, aiming for Fraternity Row.
“What’s our plan?” I ask as a test, making sure she’s got it down.
She lifts her chin, dark hair waving in the crisp winter air behind her.
“We march straight toward Ayan and force him to tell us what he’s been up to all week.
You demand to know why he hasn’t been texting you back.
You know, his girlfriend for the last six months.
The one he’s probably getting as his appointed. ”
“Yes, exactly.” I swallow hard. “And if there’s someone else?
” The question slips through my gritted teeth.
But maybe I already know the answer. Lakshmi Patel, Iota president, has been circling too close.
With her big tits and thick hips…and acceptance to Johns Hopkins Carey Business School.
Conveniently located near where Ayan was accepted to medical school.
“You kick him in the balls, then we beat the shit out of her.” Ellis nods like this is something we could actually do.
On our high school soccer team, she once kicked a girl hard in the shin. That’s about the extent of violence I’ve seen from her. I slapped a boy in sixth-grade band for humping his saxophone and saying he’d wished it was me. Otherwise, I don’t want to get my hands dirty.
It would look bad on med school applications.
“Metaphorically,” she finishes. Like she realizes at the same time I do that we aren’t those kinds of girls.
Every step toward Beta House, my pulse pounds in my carotid.
It’s adrenaline. That’s all. My frontal lobe is interpreting it as anxiety. I breathe slowly, hoping my parasympathetics kick in.
“I need a shot. Hit me.” I hold out my palm to Ellis, who produces a small flask from her fuzzy coat pocket. With a deep pull, I shudder as the harsh vodka hits the back of my throat like a virus. Warmth surges through my belly, then down my limbs. “Okay, I can do this.”
Why does it feel like we’re attending a funeral and not a party?
“Ready?” she asks, hand on the doorknob.
“Yeah.” Muttering to myself, I add, “Demand to know where he is… Punt the testicles…”
Heat blasts against my skin as we enter. I hardly notice as Ellis tugs my coat off my arms, hanging it on the overfilled rack behind us.
Logan Dawson stands in the hallway like a gate he doesn’t realize he’s become. Easy enough to push past but still planted there. Blocking me. My childhood friend. My high school confidant. Pre-med, just like me. You’d think that would outweigh a set of Greek letters. It doesn’t. He’s Beta now.
I can’t hear myself think from how loud the blood rushes through my ears. But in true amazing friend fashion, Ellis storms forward toward Logan and…
Holy fucking shit! The guy behind him is gigantic. The shadow of his figure absorbs the hallway like a black hole. I think it’s the Delta president. Dark hair, longer in the back, perfectly gelled. Deep-set eyes. Yep.
Griffin… Apollo Griffin.
A Greek mythic beast.
His damn arms have the wingspan of one. The peacoat he wears adds more weight, but the man is terrifyingly huge. And that’s saying something, because my father and brothers are as large as Viking gods.
Ellis crosses her arms. “Can you handle going to tell Mr. Almighty that his girlfriend is here? Come on.” With a huff, she tugs me toward the living room, but not before we toss them a couple of looks.
“I can’t believe Logan’s being such a loyal dog and not letting you back there…”
“Of course he won’t. Despite his loyalty to me. He’s a Beta.”
But the more I think about it, the more I’m relieved. And scared.
Maybe I don’t want to confront Ayan tonight. I could keep pretending I don’t know what he’s been up to. I could keep things the same. Life has been simple. I don’t really need a boyfriend anyway. It was a checkbox to fill on my life’s list:
Become student council president.
Attend prom.
Get a boyfriend.
Have sex.
Go to college. Join Omega Nu Epsilon.
Become ONE’s president in my senior year.
Attend my top pick medical school.
Get married.
Eventually, have children.
Become the dean of my medical school alma mater.
Win the Nobel Prize for medicine.
Discover disease cures.
Die.
Very simple things.
But I’ve gotten the boyfriend. And had sex. And went to college and joined ONE. I’m only a sophomore, so I have to wait until my senior year to be elected president of my sorority.
So if he leaves me for her? I can deal. Right?
“I need a drink,” I say, grabbing a Solo cup, then filling it with the liquored juice mix from the table behind us.
Ellis grips my shoulders in a tight squeeze as I down the entire thing, then gag. “Don’t freak out. You’re fine.”
“Am I?” I nod. “I am. I’m fine.”
And for good measure, I down a second cup of juice.
The Greek Titan lumbers around the corner toward us, bringing with him a cloud of cologne and a whiff of vulnerability. He seems terrified to approach me.
“I think Ayan wanted to talk to you in his office.” His voice is rugged. Deep. As I expected.
I open my mouth to respond, but…
There she is.
From down the hall, a half-dressed and flushed Lakshmi stumbles through the doorway. Cheeks pink from whatever she was doing with my boyfriend. Ayan trips in behind her, looking as guilty as I suspected he would. As soon as his gaze flicks to mine, he quickly changes his expression to one…of pride.
All the terror I was feeling before quickly morphs into fury.
Before I can think or speak, heat surrounds me. Apollo leans down and crushes his lips to mine with searing strength. Goosebumps rise along my skin. I feel everything. Including the thickness inside Apollo’s trousers pressing into me.
He tastes like rich plums with a hint of brandy. Lips soft and soothing, in contrast to the danger behind every powerful movement of his jaw. Firm, but not forceful. As if I could stop this if I wanted to, and he’d nod apologetically.
I step into him as he gathers me up. Closer. Our bodies are tight, and I relax into him as if that’s where I’m meant to be. For a long moment, I forget everything else exists. Finally, my brain shuts off.
Oh…yeah.
Ayan.
Apollo pulls back, and we study one another. Both of us shocked and breathless. Trying to figure out what happened. I can’t even ask the question. Words won’t form.
Fortunately, he announces loudly, “You ready to go, tulip?”
“Yes…” I hear myself sigh. My head feels dizzy. Vision unclear.
Is this what it feels like to swoon?
“Are you two together?” Ayan snaps, his jaw dropping, making his skinny neck look even smaller.
But those cavernous obsidian eyes won’t leave my face. Apollo simply nods. “Yeah.” When he straightens, he tosses his arm over my shoulders and pulls me into his side. “Since last year, why?”
My cheeks flush even hotter. The lie passes so smoothly, I almost believe it.
Ayan’s still staring at me, eyes blazing, like I owe him an explanation. Like he’s waiting for me to crumble and beg for him. If he wants a scene, I’ll give him one his ego won’t recover from.
Ellis grins like a proud mother, bouncing on her toes in her purple strappy heels. Snickering behind her cup of liquored juice. She points toward the door, then nods at it encouragingly.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Ayan yells as he waves his hand frantically between me and the giant at my side. “You cheated on me?”
A crowd of Betas starts congregating behind him.
I crawl my fingers up Apollo’s huge chest and smile like I’ve done it a thousand times. Slow and deliberate. Just to watch Ayan’s face turn dark. “I’m ready to go. I need my coat.”
“I’ll grab it for you,” he says, ignoring Ayan.
“Ellis?” I ask, but she’s already meandering toward the other girls.
“Have a great time!” she calls out.
It’s the alcohol mixed with the tinge of emotional shock. Walking over here, I should have known. I’ve needed an out from Ayan—and the man leading me toward the exit, hand hovering at my lower back, is the first door that opened for me. A broad escape route. Timely. Convenient.
Enough that I can stab Ayan straight through the gut with it.
I let Apollo slide my downy parka over my shoulders and gather my hand in his. We can’t lace our fingers together because his are too thick. Or mine are too small. So he wraps his hand around my fist, his palm damp against my skin.
“Have a great night, Ellis.” Apollo says it like he knows her intimately.
“The fuck are you going?” Ayan’s still yelling, but Apollo pulls me in front of him and steps out into the cold. He slams the door behind us.
“Where are we going?” I ask, the exhilaration of what happened now turning toward rage.
I cannot believe I chose so poorly for my first boyfriend. That’s quite unlike me.
I refuse to be the girl who gets walked on. Not by him. Not by anyone.
“Wherever you want.” The warming bass of Apollo’s voice makes me feel safe. Or it could be the vodka.
We’ve already made it to Delta grounds, and I glance around their garage. It’s filled with dangerous-looking cars and even wilder motorcycles. Not like my brother’s speed bikes. These are the kinds you ride across the country with and end up doing lines of meth in dirty bar bathrooms.
“I want a ride. Wherever. Just…get me out of here.”
His face seems to be set in a serious expression all the time. But at that moment, I spy a hint of a grin.
“Sure. I only have my motorcycle, and you’ll get cold—”
“I don’t care.”
He shrugs. “Okay. Let’s go.”