Chapter 17
seventeen
Fraternity meetings take up too much of my time. All I really wanted to do on Friday was check in with Scout, but I told myself she was okay. Omega won, and that was probably important to her. I had to pretend in front of the entirety of Delta that I was sad about losing.
“We’ll get them on Feral Friday,” I assured the downtrodden faces of my brothers.
On my way back to my room, Valen follows behind me. Too close. The toes of his heavy boots scrape the heels of my leather loafers. Fuck. Now I have to polish them again.
I whip around. “What?”
It’s odd that I can understand his expressions behind his full black mask. One arched eyebrow. Eyes wide. Lips parted as if he’s afraid to say something. All he does is nod to his room, and I sigh heavily, turning toward the door.
As I squeeze into the soft club chair, he sets to work on the locks, then rips off his mask. Rubbing a hand through his messy hair, he plops down in front of his desk and stares straight ahead. Fingers perched on the keyboard. Silence clicking between us.
“You’re waiting for me to crack.” I sit back and cross an ankle over my opposite knee. “We lost, and that’s on me—”
“Bullshit. You didn’t care we lost. I want to know why.” He’s looking at his monitors like he can hack the information out of them.
“I care. I’m distraught that I couldn’t lead us to victory. I feel like I’m a failure at this...at everything.”
Valen drops his head and chuckles low. The sound irritates me. Like he’s got my number. And he does. He knows I’m lying.
“Try again. Maybe in years past and earlier you had a vested interest in winning. Way too much, in my opinion. So when did you suddenly turn into me? Scratch that… Why is what I want to know. Why are you, Mr. Rule Follower, not upset about the loss?”
“Was it that obvious?”
His fingers dance over the keys as a wide grin spreads across his lips. Sweat forms along my brow.
“No. I just know you.”
“Yeah, too fucking good, Valen.”
“So are you going to tell me, or do I need to blackmail you or get one of your brothers to hold you down because Vengracurus knows that I’m not strong enough to take you.”
I scratch the tip of my nose with my thumb and lean forward, staring at the worn dorm room carpet. Taupe and depressing. No wonder he’s been spending most of his time at his mansion far from campus.
Who have I become? This flooring is better than anything I grew up with. Am I one of them? Expecting servants to hand me chilled champagne when I wake and turning my nose up at the slightest mildew?
“I got my appointed.”
His eyebrows shoot up, but he doesn’t look at me, which makes it easier to continue.
“And President Damon wants me to become an icon for the school. Make a big spectacle of it. In fact, I’m scheduled to marry her in the cathedral on Wednesday.”
“Holy shit.” His shocked green eyes finally address my face.
“Yeah… So my head’s not in the Games right now. I’m about to be someone’s husband and very soon.”
He laughs. Fucker laughs. Head back, chest shaking. “Gods…your parents are going to love this.”
“I know.”
“Too much.”
“Way too much.”
“Think they’ll ask about babies as soon as they meet the girl?”
“The second she crosses the threshold, I’m sure.”
“I’m shocked that my parents didn’t ask Olivia first thing. But I assumed they assumed I’d already knocked her up.”
“Didn’t you?”
His smile is uncontrollable.
I punch him in the arm. “I knew it. Well, congrats.”
“It’s not done yet. Not that I know of. But it’ll happen soon. Olivia let me take out her birth control… She’s into it.”
“Sounds like you found the right one.” I roll my eyes. He was stalking that woman for years, pretending to be sneaky. All the while, she was the focus of everything he did.
“Who is she? I’ll look her up.” He points to the computer screen.
I stare at it like it could burn my retinas. Do I really want to find out secrets about my future wife?
Maybe for the first time ever, I haven’t wanted Valen to know something. Not this. He’s even heard me mention Karina, but I kept it so low key, I’m not sure he even remembers. This?
I want to tuck her away. Keep her to myself.
It was the same on the night my brother held the tattoo machine on her. I gave him the look. One that said, this one’s mine.
“No…I don’t need the information. I’m good.” With a stretch, I stand. “Let me talk to her first.”
“If you need anything from me, just ask. I’m here.”
I clamp a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. “Thanks, buddy.”
By Saturday, I’ve chickened out. I’m not usually one to shirk responsibilities. Ever. In fact, I’d say I’m brave. Usually.
Getting married in a few days to a stranger is going to take more than guts. I’ve felt ill-equipped in a lot of ways throughout my life, but this is the most unprepared I’ve been.
I spend most of the day working out. Playing intramural soccer. Take an inordinate amount of time in the shower. Ask Lex Lynx to give me a fresh cut and shave because he’s way too good with a blade. Prepare a speech by practicing in front of a mirror.
But I can’t seem to force myself forward.
That evening, I’m determined to march across campus and say my lines. The ones I’ve memorized in my head. Instead? My feet barrel toward my bike and I’m on the way to The Underpass. Ten minutes in, I’ve got two beers down and sling back a shot of whiskey.
“What’s up, bro?” Nico asks, handing me a second shot. “You look like you got something on your mind that only shitty liquor can fix.”
I know he doesn’t actually want to talk about it. So I just shrug.
“My president!” Oz Friedenberg and his older brother, Adal, Valen’s cousins, spot me across the bonfire. Oz dances over and practically jumps into my arms. He’s not small, but I catch him anyway. “I missed you!” He plants a big kiss on my cheek, and I set him down.
“How drunk are you, Ozzie?” I ask, scanning his bloodshot eyes.
Adal shakes his head. “Too fucking much.”
Oz stumbles back. “I’m not schlow drunk! I’m fast. You’re just-just laggin’!” He slurs every word.
“Someone get the kid some water,” I command to one of the guys. It’s gotten to be second nature now, I suppose. Having people do what I say.
Nico and Adal are Delta alums. Oz is still a sophomore in the fraternity. Legacy. With all the money and power that go along with that. Including the fancy mansion in Gnarled Pine Hollow, the city they’re from.
But just like with Valen, none of the Freidenbergs ever made me feel less than.
Nico blows out a puff of his joint and hands it to Oz. “Here. For the hangover you’re bound to have tomorrow.”
“Thanks, bro. I love you, Nico. You know that I do. Like, for real.”
“I know, Oz.”
“Want me to suck you off?”
I don’t even blink.
Nico gives us all a very rare smile and ruffles Oz’s longer black hair. “No, kid. I’m good.”
“You sure? I give great ones.” The eyebrow with the ring in it twitches as he quirks it a few times. Flirting sloppily.
At the same time, Adal yells, “Oz! That’s my best friend. Go somewhere else! Fuck! Stop hitting on my friends!”
“He’s my friend, too.”
“Then stop hitting on your friends. Jesus!” He snaps the joint out of Oz’s grasp and takes a hit. “I need this more than you know.”
“Fine. I’ll just go ask…someone else, prude.” Oz stumbles off to the other Marauders. I doubt any one of them will take him up on his offer.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say your brother has been more friendly than usual, Adal,” Nico says as he lights up a cigarette.
Adal takes another deep inhale and croaks out his words. “I know.” A cloud of white swallows his head as he exhales. “I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with his brain, so don’t ask me.”
He holds it out for me, but I wave it off. “Nah, I’m good.”
“Are you? You look like you’re on the way to a good hangover yourself.” He nods toward the empty cups and plastic shot glasses I’ve collected.
There’s a long moment of silence. These two guys deal with issues that way. Not talking about them. But part of me feels like I could bust with anxiety. Heart pounding too hard against my ribs. And despite the frigid temperature, my skin is moist with sweat.
“If I told you I was getting married, would either of you like to, um, be groomsmen?”
Both lift their eyes toward each other. Slowly. Then, they wander over toward me. Faces blank and mouths waiting.
I shrug. “Would you?”
“Would we what?” Adal finally says.
“You’re getting married? To who?” Nico asks.
“I’m just wondering—”
Oz rushes over like he had one ear on our conversation the entire time.
“I’ll be your best man! Can I pick out the tuxes, please?
Like, classy ones, because I have a feeling you’ll try to Apollo it up, and I just can’t stand to look at paisley, Mr. President, I’m sorry.
And, like, gold accents. I won’t be able to attend if it’s tacky.
But I’ll definitely be your mate if you have a great cake, too.
And some good flowers. Flowers are important—” He waves his hands in the air dramatically as if he’s already planned every detail of my wedding.
“I…think I’ll ask Valen to be best man.”
“Fucker.” Oz’s usual cheery mood quickly vanishes, and he spits on the ground, then strolls away. Wavering in his steps. He pauses. Spins. Then rushes at me and tosses his arms around my waist, pressing his face to my chest. “But thank you for making me a groomsman.”
“Sure thing.”
“Who is she?” Nico asks, jaw still unhinged.
I shake my head. “Got my…appointed. President wants me to get married sooner rather than later.”
Until I tell her, I’m not telling them anything.
He puffs out a cloud of cigarette smoke. “Mom and Dad are going to throw you a parade. Especially if you give them more grandchildren.”
“I know… That’s on the agenda, too.”
Adal’s eyebrows shoot up as he steadies his brother by gripping the back of his neck. “You Griffins and your super sperm.”
“Us? Fucker, your brother and Pippi are twins.”
“You have, like, ten brothers and a sister.”
Nico and I grimace. All we can do is nod.
“There’s only five of us,” I mutter under my breath. But the reputation still stands.