Chapter 19
nineteen
If I were capable of blushing, I think I would.
Scout stops short in front of the old Lexus I wrangled up from one of the Griffin Motors shops. A loaner from one of my brothers.
“This is your car?”
I clear my throat, thinking she might refuse to get in. Or make fun of it. Something. With a shrug, I open her door. “For today.”
She nods and slips inside without a word.
I’d been expecting a bigger fight to get her away from her parents. An argument about not wanting to go through with these things. But I have a feeling she understands the consequences of not following the POT’s rules, just the same as all of us.
Neither of us wants to die.
Deep inside, the part I’m desperately trying to ignore, has a tiny hope. A whisper. Maybe she’s doing this because she sees something in me and wants this to happen because of who I am. And that it has nothing to do with orders and rules and rituals.
If I let that feeling blossom, then I would have to face the fact that maybe I’m doing this for her.
But I hardly know the girl.
I reach for the dash and flip through some radio stations. “What kind of music do you like?”
Her brow furrows. “Not country.”
I shrug and flip to the next station. “Rock?”
“Sure.”
“But you have some favorite music or bands, right?”
“I guess.”
I leave it on the classic rock station and pull out of her driveway as the axel grinds loudly. She grips the door handle.
“What’s that?”
“The axle torque nuts are probably too tight. It’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure? Because that sounds like we’ll die.”
I snort a laugh. “We’re not dying because of torque nuts.”
“Really? Because if you do that to a human, you could get adhesions and they could explode.”
My eyes grow wide as I stare straight ahead. I really have no idea what she’s talking about. “Well, a car’s not a human body.”
Beneath a breath, she mutters, “Pretty close.”
It’s silent for a long while. I have a million questions rolling through my head I want to ask her, but every time I start to, I worry she’ll shut me down.
“My dad loves this song,” she finally says, breaking the quiet air. It’s almost as if she says it to herself.
I nod to the beat of “When the Levee Breaks” by Led Zeppelin.
“It’s one of my favorites, too.” Because I’ve felt like that my entire life. One more raindrop, and the flood is coming.
I feel it in this car. Like, if one small thing happens? We’re fucked.
“You like Zeppelin?” I ask.
“I like pop music, I suppose. Tyla Silk and all that.”
Yikes. “Okay.”
She snaps her gaze to mine. “You don’t? She’s incredible. Her lyrics are so deep.”
“All right.” That annoying shit they play everywhere? Yeah. Maybe she needs someone to show her what a good taste in music is.
Scout crosses her arms and gazes out the window.
After another minute or two of silence, I urge the red light to change to green so we can get to my parents’ faster. It’ll be a disaster; I already know. Especially because it’s Sunday afternoon. Which means everyone will be hanging out there for football.
Everyone.
The tension in the car raises the temperature by ten degrees, and I want to shut off the heat, but little Scout shivers in her coat, then flips the vents toward her. So I turn it up higher, sweat dripping down my back. It’s stifling.
“I don’t know if you saw, but I texted you a few questions about the wedding plans—”
“You can make all the decisions.” She looks out her window, then digs into her pocket and grabs a tin of lemon drops, slipping one between her lips. As if not even thinking, she starts to put it back, then freezes. Slowly, her eyes find mine. “Do you want one?”
It melts my heart. Or maybe it’s the insane inferno inside this car. “Yeah. Sure.” I open my palm and she places it there carefully. Like a treasure.
I pop the sour sweet in my mouth and try not to bite it too soon.
“But what flowers do you like?”
She shifts in her seat. “Whatever. Flowers are nice.”
“What’s your favorite?”
“Why do you want to know?”
I blink a few times. “Because that’s something a husband should know about his wife.”
Her eyes widen as if this is a shocking revelation. It seems strange to me, too. This woman is about to be my partner in life.
“Um, I don’t have one.”
Somehow, we reach my parents’ place before I die of heatstroke.
Scout busts open her door just as I reach the side and attempt to open it for her. She stares up at our modest house. The one that somehow fit my big family. It looks normal from the outside, hiding the chaos lying inside.
She seems to hesitate about what to do, and that makes me concerned because Scout isn’t indecisive. So I take her hand before she can change her mind.
“Come on,” I say with a little tug.
She glances at where we’re joined and follows me.
Even before I throw open the door, the screams of my nieces and nephews, shouts from my brothers, my father, and uncles are all pulsing through to the porch.
“Um, it’s… It gets…” I rub a hand through my hair. “It’s loud. Sorry.”
We step into the entryway, and a few kids rush past us. My nephew, Andrew, clings to my knees. “Uncle Apollo!”
I scoop him into my arms and kiss his forehead. “Hey, buddy!”
“Who’s that?” he asks, pointing at Scout, whose blue eyes grow big and wide with what looks like fear.
The question makes everyone gathered in the living room pause, look toward me, then the woman standing at my chest height next to me.
I’m not even sure how to explain. So I just blurt it out.
“Everyone, this is my… fiancée, Scout.”
Like it’s a score for our team, a riot of cheers resounds. I think my mother screams. One of the kids shoots off a Nerf gun. Another spills some drinks and glass crashes to the floor.
But they all surround us, hugging me, then her, and taking Andrew before another kid is placed in my arms, then in hers.
The only ones of similar height are my mother and my sister, Athena, and they scurry over to rescue Scout and escort her to the kitchen with my brothers’ wives and girlfriends.
After several slaps on the back and getting a few beers shoved at me, I finally go into the kitchen, where Mom is hugging Scout, looking at her like she’s a new present. Athena sits next to her at the table, and the two start talking about Omega in between my mother’s rapid-fire questions.
“Medicine, huh? That’s amazing! I love that. And surgery, too. That will be a long road, but I’m sure you can do it. You seem to have a great head on your shoulders.”
“She’s really smart, Mom,” Athena’s saying.
“How do you take your coffee, Scout?”
“Oh, I don’t… Well, okay. Do you have vanilla cream or just cream?”
“I sure do. Athena likes flavored creamer. Any sugar?” Mom strides toward the pantry, but I interrupt.
I grab a mug and pour some coffee in with vanilla cream before my mom can get it.
“No sugar.”
“I’m so excited,” Mom says, giving me a squeeze. “I always knew you’d pick a smart one. And beautiful, too.”
I want to tell her I didn’t pick her. But that would be an asshole-ish thing to say. Because when I look at Scout as she eyes me over the rim of her cup, something weird happens inside me.
I didn’t choose her.
…But standing here, watching her?
I think I just did.
And that realization settles heavier than any order ever has.
The nerves she had before we walked in ease through the afternoon. Mom and Athena and Dad and my brothers keep Scout busy, incorporating her into our stupid rituals.
Like every time our team scores, we have to do a double elbow tap, then take three sips. And shout what color socks we wear. I don’t know who started it. Maybe Dad. But we have to. Or else they won’t score again.
By the second time, Scout jumps off the couch, beer in hand, and yells, “Purple!”
And my brothers cheer her on.
She glances at me, a line of tears from her laughter coating her eyes. And she’s that girl again. The one who begged for a tattoo that first night. Who rode screaming on the back of my bike in the freezing winter wind.
The one I want.
One who I want to share things about myself that I haven’t ever before. Not even with Valen.
“Yeah, it’s a comfortable seat. If you want to try it out,” Nico’s telling her about his new tweaks to his bike.
And something makes me home in on their conversation. I toss my arm over her shoulders. “Nah, we need to return to campus.” My eyes narrow over Scout’s head at my brother. Back the fuck off, I tell him silently.
He just smirks and settles deeper into the cushion, finishing off his beer. “Okay, then. See y’all.”
“So soon?” Mom whines.
“Ma, they been here all fucking day. Let the kids go play,” my brother, Leo, says, giving me a wink.
“Scout? It was great to meet you, and welcome to the family,” Dad says while giving her a side hug.
I gather her fist in mine and shove her in front of me and out the door. Otherwise, we’ll never get out.
“See you at the wedding!” Mom calls out, tears filling her eyes.
“Okay, I didn’t think we’d escape. She’ll keep you there and make you go over every detail, and we’d never get away,” I tell Scout, who goes quiet.
When we get in the car, she’s shivering again. So I blast the heat, grip her hands, and blow on them. Her blue eyes watch me as I do, and she trembles, thighs quivering beneath her coat.
“Your family, uh, is big.”
“It is.”
“And very welcoming.”
I nod. “They are.”
“And I’m a little bit intoxicated.”
I chuckle. “That will happen.”
With the sudden realization that I’m clutching her hands so close to my mouth, my lips tingle with the urge to kiss her fingers. And maybe it’s because her face is dancing with something that looks like desire that makes me do it. Slowly and carefully. Relishing the sensation of her skin on mine.
Her lips part as she gasps. But she doesn’t pull away.
“Can I show you something?” My whisper tingles the air, filling the space between us until there’s almost none left.
Her long neck tenses with her swallow. Just as delicately, she responds, “Yes.”
I place our hands on my thigh, pretending I’m just trying to warm hers up by rubbing the back of it.