Elwyn
The merriment of the castle is infectious as the preparations begin for the Autumn Moon.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t house a certain excitement in my step as well. The Autumn Moon is the only celebration in Valebridge where outsiders attend, which means tonight, I’ll see him. We’ve kept our encounters brief the last few years. Keeping to our usual hallways and hidden corners of the castle. But this year is different. I feel it in my heart.
In the five years since Elora was born, I’ve questioned my decision to stay in Valebridge almost every day. But never once has a premonition told me it wasn’t safe here, and so here is where we’ve stayed.
And in all honesty, it’s brought me so much joy watching Elora learn and grow alongside others just like her. Albeit, the lessons of which she’s learning have been altered for her safety, she’s learning all the same.
Lining up the tapered candles along the long dining tables, my heart pinches at the thought of Elora never knowing about her Dyrsjel lineage. Never knowing that it’s the wolves outside the Valebridge walls calling to her every night, putting her to sleep. I’ve done my best to keep her magick hidden from King Silas, and I’ll continue to, if that means keeping her alive for whatever the Fates have planned for her.
As I put the last of the candles in place, I glance around the room. Navy and ivory ribbons hang from the grand chandeliers. The flickering light of the candles cast shadows along the marble walls. Smiling, I head toward the exit, and as I do, a handmaid rushes in with a dozen black roses.
You know where to find me.
My skin prickles thinking of him. Maybe I should have left with him all those years ago, but I had just birthed Elora. Had just Seen the vision of my fate. Had learned who our daughter was. I was terrified. Frozen in place. But it’s been five years and nothing unusual has happened. Nothing grim. So tonight, I will tell my love the words he’s wished to hear.
We’re coming with you.
Eagerness and anticipation lead my steps. Tonight, the moon will be full and so will my heart.
“I want to go with you!” Elora shouts, her lip snarling up on one side.
Little wolf, indeed. Chuckling, I finish braiding her hair.
“It isn’t a party for children, Elora. You’ll stay here with Margerie. Come morning, I’ll tell you all about it in so much detail it’ll be as if you were there yourself.”
She frowns again before reluctantly climbing into our shared bed. “Will you tell me my favorite story before you go?” Her golden eyes are wide, her bottom lip stuck out.
Laughing, I pull the covers up to her chin. “Only once this time, susi .” I point my finger at her and she nods with a sleepy grin. I know my daughter though, and it’ll be at least three times before I’m able to slip down to the party.
Once she has settled onto her pillow, her breathing slowing, I begin the story she admires so much. “It always begins the same. A storm, a crown, and a bargain made–”
“But how does it end, mama?” She yawns before rubbing her eyes.
“That susi , is a story yet to be told.” I stroke her hair as she settles deeper into her pillow. “Now, once upon a time, there was an Enchantress who loved a little girl very much…”
With Elora snug in our bed, I slip out of the room and check the hallway mirror once more. I smile at my reflection. My silver eyes match the moon’s full light. My beaded, navy gown swishes as I make my way to the grand hall, and my matching mask sits snugly across my nose and around my eyes.
The music fills the foyer and as the hall doors open, I’m hit with a symphony of sounds. Beautiful strings and high voices fill my ears. Dozens and dozens of people dance and sway under the firelit chandeliers.
My senses are immediately overwhelmed, but nothing could deter me from finding him. There, in the back corner, he stands alone. Donned all in black, including his satin mask. His hair, a familiar shade of gold, matches the hair lining his upper lip and over his chin.
My stomach swirls at the sight of him. I push past the revelers, my heart racing. He chats with someone I don’t recognize, sipping from a heavy glass chalice. As I get closer, my stomach dips again. He finally sees me.
His eyes, the eyes that steal each of my dreams at night, find mine, and I’m lost. Lost in hope. In joy. In love.
We’re coming with you.
I’ve rehearsed the words all year. Have repeated them over and over again until they no longer made sense. Words I should’ve said five years ago, but I was too afraid. Too uncertain of what the future held for Elora and myself.
Tonight an unwavering confidence fuels my every step. I’m ready to leave. To be a family. Ready to no longer fear repercussions should I leave Valebridge. His lips part, as I inch closer. I push my way past the final dancer before I’m directly before him.
“,” he whispers.
I wish to cry. Not of sadness but of happiness, just by hearing his voice. I have missed him every day. Every second. And I know he’s missed me. I know he’s missed Elora. Excitement makes my voice come out much higher than usual, but I don’t care because tonight everything changes.
“We’re—”
“Darling?” a woman’s voice from behind me freezes the words on my tongue.
His eyes widen and replacing the admiration I saw only moments ago is fear. Shame?
“Darling, shall we dance?”
I don’t turn to look at her. I can’t.
He nods, looking past my shoulder and smiles. “Of course, just a moment, dear.”
My skin heats, hands shaking at my sides, and as much as I wish to run away, I am rooted in place. Anger and jealousy and all the things I have no right to feel swarm in my belly. Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. This is what I asked for, isn’t it? I told him to go. I refused to leave with him. Did I expect him to wait forever?
The music speeds and the noises of the dancers behind me gets raucous.
I need to leave.
Quickly.
As he walks by me to join the woman on the dance floor, his hand grazes mine. “I’m sorry.”
Heat blooms with his touch and my body shivers. I don’t let him speak another word. I head for the farthest exit of the grand hall. Avoiding the dance floor at all costs.
He has chosen someone else. Has started a new life. And I am here. Stuck inside these walls with a child I’ll never see fully grow up.
After stopping and having a ridiculously long cry in the handmaid’s restroom, I find the courage to brave the hallway to my chambers. As I round the final corner, what I see before me stops me in my place.
It’s him. He’s at our door.
No. No, no, no.
I sprint down the hall, ready to shove him out of the way when he clicks the door shut himself.
I pull his arm away from the door. “What are you doing?”
“El.” He reaches for my hair, but I release my hold on his arm and slap his hand away.
“You need to leave.” His eyes turn down. I’ve hurt him. Not tonight, but all those years ago. But what choice did I have, then? He doesn’t know what I Saw. Doesn’t know the fate I must live with. I was trying to save him from it while keeping Elora safe at the same time.
“I wanted to see her,” he says, straightening himself. “Wanted to see you.”
My eyes burn, but I force them to look at his hand. I need to know what I fear is true. And there it is. On his left finger, a black ring confirms what I suspected, bringing a weakness to my knees and a brick of lead to my stomach.
“You really should go.” I turn my back, desperate to be out of this gown and done with this night, but a strong hand on my arm stops me.
“I wanted you to leave with me, . I wanted this life only with you, do you not remember my pleas? Five years ago, and every year after, I begged you to come with me. Have dreamt of nothing else.” His whispers tickle the back of my neck. I fight the urge to lean into his body. To encase myself in his warmth and scent. But I don’t. “It’s only ever been you.”
“Except it hasn’t,” I say, swallowing down my own self pity. I continue to face the door. I don’t want to see his face. Don’t want to see every memory of us etched into it. “I have Elora to look after. Go before your wife starts to worry.”
He releases his grip, but his fingers linger on my skin. He says nothing as he backs away, the warmth I was so desperate for immediately gone and out of reach.
I wait several moments before I turn to face where he’d been. Hoping by some sliver of insanity that he’ll still be there. That I’ll still be able to whisper those words to him I’ve dreamt about since the last Autumn Moon.
We’re coming with you.
But he isn’t there. He is long gone, and with him, my last bit of hope.