Chapter 28
Twenty-Eight
Elora
The wolf pups bump into a side table, a few yelps drifting over to where Sorin and I lay beside each other in our shared bed. I attempt to count the leaves on the ivy that dance along the walls, hoping the monotony of the task will lull me to sleep, but when it doesn’t, I give up and roll onto my side.
Sorin’s chest rises and falls evenly. His brows furrowed and bottom lip stuck out. I chuckle softly and trace my finger along his lip.
Must be some dream.
For someone who found out their best friend betrayed them, Sorin has taken the news unusually well. We’ve hardly spoken of Galen and what he’s done. Hardly spoken of the fact that Loxley is now destroyed. I don’t want to push him, and I know he doesn’t wish to push me. It feels as though we’re stuck. Our vulnerability hangs on a thread between us and neither one of us has had the courage to take a step forward and test the thread’s strength.
One of the pups yelps, so I sit up.
Go to bed.
Hati glances back at me and tilts her head. I haven’t used my bond with the pups often, but by the confusion on Hati’s face, I’m sure she’s heard me.
All of you , I say to the others. The four pups watch me, their dark eyes gleaming with mischief before one by one they move to the bathing chamber where we’ve arranged beds for them. Ruse and Alaric have been back, mostly so Ruse can feed the puppies. But they insist on keeping watch, sleeping outside the Jade Guild.
“That was impressive,” Sorin says.
I lay back down and curl into his side. “You’re awake?”
“Trying my best not to be, but your puppies were making that rather difficult.”
“They’re not my puppies.”
“Aren’t they?” His lips brush the top of my head.
The fire crackles and soon the yips and grumbles of the pups in the other room fade. I pull myself up so that Sorin and I are facing each other. He stares at me, his eyes dipping to my lips. The slivers of moonlight cast shadows over his face, sharpening his features.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Twenty-six.” He kisses my forehead.
“What?”
He brushes the hair from my shoulders. “You have twenty-six freckles across your nose.”
My stomach flips and mouth drops open. “You counted?” I laugh as I push his chest. “When?”
He shrugs. “Haven’t been sleeping well.” He grabs my hand and draws me closer to him. “Too distracted.” His lips brush against mine, settling that ball of nerves bouncing around inside of me. He guides me back down so I’m resting against his chest again.
“We haven’t talked about Galen,” I say, keeping my voice low. Deciding to test that thread after all.
Sorin’s breathing falters under me for a moment before his hands graze my back. “That’s because, like Sam, I still can’t believe it.” His arms tighten around me. “Maybe I don’t want to believe it.” His heartbeat quickens, pressed against me. “So many times he looked me in the eye over the years, promising the same vengeance I sought from Silas.”
He takes a long breath, his arms loosening. “When Silas died, and I swore off my hope of going to Valebridge, Galen and my friendship only grew stronger. And now maybe I know why.”
I stroke a piece of hair off of his forehead.
“Maybe because it was then he didn’t see me as a threat to his hidden plans. He knew I had no intention of returning to Valebridge.” He kisses my forehead. “Until I met you, and you reminded me…” He sighs. “You reminded me that there’s so much more than what’s right in front of me.”
I prop myself up on an elbow to look at him. “You reminded me of that, too. Made me see past my own selfishness.”
He smiles, but it’s half hearted. Tired.
“I really am sorry, Sorin. About all of it. Galen, Loxley.”
He swallows but says nothing and I know that feeling all too well. When the truth is more painful than the wound.
“I’ve been betrayed before,” he says. “My father didn’t want me the moment I was born, but eventually you learn to live with the fact that your first breaths were filled with the disappointment of others.” He smiles again, but there’s nothing happy about it. Shadows dance across his tan skin from the fireplace. “My mother’s love was more than enough, then Agnes and William took me in without question, and their love was so overwhelming I forgot what it was like for a long time to be the disgraced bastard son of the king.”
“There is nothing disgraceful about you.” I kiss his lips.
“There is,” he says. “And I’m coming to accept those parts of myself. But Galen—” He closes his eyes. “I can’t stop thinking… not about what he did to me, but what he did to you .”
My stomach clenches, phantom aches pinging my sides where the bruising has healed.
“I think I could live with his betrayal,” he continues, “but I’ll never forgive him for hurting you. For hurting Loxley.”
I lean down and kiss him again. “You’re allowed to feel hurt, too. Emotional hurt is just as damning as physical.”
“Maybe that’s true,” he says, tracing my bare shoulders with his finger. “Come here.” He pulls me into his mouth and moans softly as I kiss him. He parts his lips, so I kiss him deeply, cupping his face in either of my hands.
“Wait,” he says as I pull back. I move on top of him, straddling his hips as his hands land on the back of my thighs. “Is there anything you want to tell me?
“What do you mean?” I run my fingers down his bare chest.
He shrugs, but I can see a question hiding in his eyes that he refuses to ask. The ink on the back of my neck burns beneath the mask I’ve placed over it.
Tell him.
“There’s nothing more to say tonight.” I kiss him again as he pushes my nightgown up, his fingers gliding over my bare skin.
“We don’t have to, if you’re not ready.” A bit of color has flushed over his cheeks, and for the first time since he came for me, he looks happy. He looks like him . All of the betrayal and the pain and the impossible work we still have ahead of us can wait one more night.
Our mouths collide. I run my hands through his hair as his teeth snag on my bottom lip, his fingers firmly planted on my hips. Sitting up, I peel my nightgown over my head. Drunk on the taste of him, I flinch as the cold air bites my skin, and before I can think of hiding the remaining bruises, Sorin sits up and slides me off of him so I’m laying on my back.
“Each kiss,” he says as his lips pepper kisses along my skin, “is a promise.” He kisses the bruises on my stomach. Then my shoulder. “A promise to never let you get hurt again.”
He gently rolls me on my side and his lips make their way down my back, then up again. “A promise that so long as I live, I’ll be by your side.” He lays back down and pulls me on top of him. “As your partner and as your friend.”
Sorin closes his eyes for a moment, and my stomach swirls. “As much as I am devastated and hurt, having you here has begun to heal me already. I can live with the betrayal, but I’m not sure I can live without you. At least, I don’t want to.”
He frowns and it looks so unnatural on him that I bend down and kiss the crease between his brows. “There’s something here”—he rubs a circle over his heart, then mine—“between us. I felt it after the Wicked Wood, and I feel it now, even stronger than before.” His hands drag lightly down my back before landing on my hips. “Whatever burdens you carry, just know that you’ll never carry them alone. Not again.”
I don’t give him the chance to speak again before my lips crash into his. I roll my hips forward as Sorin’s hands grip the back of my thighs. My body heats with every breath and touch of his tongue against mine. His hand dips between my legs as I lean forward and scrape his shoulder with my teeth.
“Elora,” he groans as I move away to pull off his breeches. I kiss down his bare chest before I slide my tongue across his length. He moans and clutches the sheets, so I do it again before taking him in my mouth. His hand finds the back of my head, guiding me. His hips begin to move quicker and so I match his pace with my mouth. He groans again, and that’s when I move from between his legs, situating myself back on top of him. His dark eyes are heavy as he watches me slide onto him.
Our moans and breaths come together as I begin to rock my hips forward. He places one hand gently on my hip and the other at the apex of my thighs, his thumb swirling just in the right spot.
My head rolls back as my pleasure begins to build. “I missed you.” The words are short and breathy and not nearly as much as I want to say.
I thought of only you in my darkest moments.
Your touch.
Your heart.
There’s so much I want to say but “I miss you” is all I’m able to manage. But it’s as though Sorin hears those unspoken words because he pulls me closer and kisses me deeper. Our hips continue to move in time with each other, working as one, and as I roll my hips again, he hits something deep inside of me and I gasp aloud.
“There?” Sorin whispers against my mouth, his hands planting firmly at my hips.
“Yes.”
He moves, hitting that same spot again and again until my vision is gone and pleasure shoots through my body. My fingers rake against his chest as I come down from the pleasurable high, and Sorin chases his own release. I continue to roll my hips and kiss his neck and throat until he joins me on the other side, panting and whispering my name.
The fire continues to crackle and burn as Sorin and I drift off to sleep. When I close my eyes, the nightmares that I have become so used to shift.
Instead, I dream of Sorin and wolves and an endless forest.
The Jade Guild is similar to the Onyx Guild in that it’s made up of dozens of small mazes. As we wind through the halls, I run my fingers over the exposed stone walls painted with ivy and bursting with tiny, yellow flowers. Unusual given the time of year. The rainy season is perpetually gray, but the Jade Guild has somehow found a way to bring life into space.
Sam and I round another small hallway that leads to the exterior wall, but attached to that wall, is a tiny greenhouse. The large rectangular windows offer some light to the space. Though it’s gray and muted the plants still shine.
“Tallulah will be in soon,” Sam says. The greenhouse has been overthrown with makeshift cots and beds for those wounded in the Loxley fires but only Sam and I occupy the room at the moment.
“You said Tallulah was a Florecas? An Enchantress who can grow and conjure plants?” I sit down on one of the cots. My fists clench and unclench about a half dozen times before Sam grabs them.
“She is, but she’s so much more than that. Even this”—she gestures to the plants and vegetables growing despite the blight—“she has managed on her own, without magick.”
I gape at the abundance of green, an impossible task given the lack of sun we see this time of year.
Sam squeezes my hand before cupping my cheeks. Her glowing, amber eyes are full of equal parts warmth and worry. “I was worried sick about you.”
She slides her hands from my face, and I ask, “How have you been dealing with everything?”
Sam shrugs with a smile. “Everything will get sorted, it always does.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I say.
She tilts her head, brows stitching together.
Sighing, I brush her tightly coiled curls off of her shoulder. “You and I”—I point to her then back at myself—“we’re way far past casual pleasantries.”
She wipes her eyes with her free hand. “How is it that you’re giving me the pep talk this time?”
“Oh how the times have changed,” I say through a laugh.
Sam grasps me in a hug and my shoulders slump when she pulls away. “Galen hurt you.” Her words come out so quietly, I think for a moment I imagined them.
“He did,” I say. “He hurt all of us?—”
“No.” Sam shakes her head. “Don’t minimize your pain, Elora. He hurt you and the longer you suppress what happened, the worse it will be.”
My lungs burn, tears stinging my eyes but my words fail me. There are so many horrible moments in Valebridge I haven’t faced, mostly because I fear to. Facing them means they truly happened and if they truly happened, I’m not sure I’ll ever recover.
“Heal up,” Sam says. “You can trust Tallulah. I think you’ll like her.”
I nod and when she closes the door, I let out an overdue breath.
“Elora?” A woman stands in the doorway a moment later. I recognize her as an Enchantress immediately. Her dark hair is woven into an intricate braid, her blue eyes sparkling. “Can I come in?”
“Of course.” I wave her forward.
“I’m Tallulah.” The Enchantress holds out her hand and I take it, giving her a quick shake. “Welcome to the Jade Guild. Though I’m sorry for the circumstances of your arrival.”
I smile at her, unsure of what to say. My mind drifts to Loxley and my brief time there.
“I just wanted to check on those.” Tallulah points to my wrists, interrupting me from my thoughts. I rub them absently, my mind still fogged with memories.
Valebridge and Loxley and Galen. I shut my eyes and focus on the noises around me. The slight ping of rain hitting the greenhouse windows. Tallulah’s boots scuffing against the stone ground.
“Lord Calix says a healer saw to you at the Onyx Guild.” I open my eyes and find Tallulah staring at me. “I wanted to see for myself you’ve been taken care of properly.” She smiles and there’s something about it that puts my anxious thoughts at ease. “Not that I’m a Healer or anything.” She shrugs, twisting her fingers through the bottom of her braid. “But I also wanted to make sure there’s nothing else troubling you.”
I hold out my wrists and fight to hide the wince as Tallulah begins inspecting my wounds. “Nothing else is troubling me.”
Nothing she can help me with anyway.
She applies some healing cream before moving to clip a few leaves from various plants. “They’ll scar,” she says over her shoulder. “But otherwise, they seem to be healing nicely. Do you have any other pain?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “No.”
She pauses, glances at me for a moment, the light from the greenhouse ceiling catching on her tanned skin and blue eyes. Tallulah joins me at the cot again and hands me a small satchel of herbs. “I want you to take this, drink it as needed.”
“It’s really not necessary, the pain is minimal.” I hand her the satchel back, but she closes her hand around mine and the herbs.
“It’s not for physical pain,” Tallulah says. “When you feel that tightness, here.” She places her hand delicately on my chest, and I flinch. “Or darkness here.” Her hand moves to my temple in a feather-light touch. “This will only help calm you.” My breathing increases as she hands me back the satchel of herbs. “There isn’t any shame in needing a bit of extra help.” She smiles and my chest tightens.
“How did you know?” My cheeks redden, heat creeping down my chest. “That I…” My words seize on my tongue so I tap my temple.
Tallulah takes my hand again. The light gray tunic she wears hangs loosely from her body and the leather bag on her waist bumps me as she moves closer. “My husband, Evren, has the same trouble sometimes. Worrisome thoughts. Nervousness. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Elora.” She smiles again, gesturing to my tightly clenched fists.
I relax them under her gaze, sweeping a strand of hair from my face, pretending as if I haven’t been on edge since I woke up this morning.
“The tea will only help relax you,” she says. “I encourage you to try it.” Her hands slip from mine as she turns for the door.
“Thank you.” I grip the satchel tighter and bring it to my nose, inhaling the sweet tang of jasmine and soothing chamomile.
“Oh, before I forget.” She turns, facing me again. “Sorin wanted me to tell you that they're conferring in the meeting room, they’re waiting to start discussions until you arrive.”
My heart constricts, and as soon as the door closes, I clutch the satchel in my hands like a lifeline.