Chapter 40
Forty
Elora
“Hang on, Elora,” Jarek says. “Whatever’s happening, someone must be able to help. You just have to hold on a little longer.” His voice is muffled, and pain slices through my temples when I attempt to shake my head. Jarek must read my expression because he sets me back down, settling me in his lap.
My heart races and I try to sit up, but when I do, blood erupts from my nose and mouth.
“Sorin—” My words are cut short by a gurgled cough. Blood spews from either side of my mouth, staining my tunic.
“I’m sure he’s okay,” Jarek says.
I attempt to shake my head again, but the pain only increases.
Go help, Sorin! I want to scream but the words don’t come.
Jarek and Alaric watch me with widened eyes. They don’t understand what I’m trying to tell them. That whatever is happening to me, is because it’s also happening to Sorin. Because when I took his debt from Grawgeth, I didn’t wager the same terms. I did not give her the last ten years of my life, as Sorin had.
Instead, I traded my life for his.
Reckless , Sorin called me and now I’m beginning to believe him.
A soul for a soul.
One death for the other.
I clutch at the imaginary wound on my chest, pressing into it as if it will do anything to stop his fate.
Or mine.
Alaric lays at my side, his cold nose brushing against the back of my hand. His whimpers are broken and soft. I try to comfort him through our bond, but the sharpness in my chest is too distracting. All consuming.
Where are you, my love?
I focus on my surroundings. Clinging to the image of Jarek at my side. To the feel of Alaric licking my cheeks where my tears have fallen. Any and every tangible thing I can grasp onto but then, they start to slip away.
Jarek’s face becomes blurry. Alaric’s warmth begins to fade. My chest tightens, and as it does, more blood rushes out from a wound that isn’t there, leaving me in a deeper panic.
Thunder slams around us, thick clouds polluting the sky. The rain begins, sending relentless sheets of freezing water from the sky. Jarek hovers over me, trying his best to keep me dry but it’s no use.
The storm is vicious. Galls of wind whip around us, rattling the branches on the trees and whipping the fallen leaves into the air, but through all of the gray and muted tones of the forest, a tiny fleck of yellow whizzes past me.
“Sorin!” I cry out, but Jarek just runs a hand down my cheek. His face, just as bewildered as mine.
He doesn’t understand.
Somewhere, something has happened to Sorin and now my bargain with Grawgeth will be repaid.
But he will live, a voice chimes in my mind.
Yes, he will live, susi.
He’ll rectify all the hurt that’s been done to the Enchantresses.
He’ll prove our loyalty to Mother Gaia.
He’ll end the blight.
He’ll live .
Jarek’s hands roam over my body with tenderness. Searching for a wound he won’t find. The blood continues out of my mouth. My head spins as the treetops turn in on themselves.
Is this what he felt? The panic and the fear and the agonizing pain. My heart lurches thinking of Sorin lying somewhere. Of his life slipping away. Tears spill out of the corner of my eyes, pooling in my ears and stinging my cheeks. I should have been smarter with my terms. I should have found a different way to break the bargain.
I should have…
I should have…
That’s what the end is filled with. All the should haves. All the things you wanted to say but didn’t. All the things you wanted to do, but never made time for. The mind floods you with the faces of all the people you love and the moments with them that have been too short.
Too late.
“Tell him—” Another cough cuts off my words, more tears slide down my cheeks.
“I’ll tell him,” Jarek says. His voice waivers, but his hands are steady as he pushes my hair from my face. The rain has soaked his hair as well and tiny droplets fall from his chin and nose. “I’ll tell him how you love him, even if he is a stubborn arse,” he says through a laugh, but I can tell he’s crying by the choke that comes after.
I wish I could laugh too, because that’s exactly what I would tell Sorin if I had the chance. That I love him, undoubtedly. That he is stubborn and loud and absolute perfection in human form. My eyes find Jarek’s, the pinch between his brows settles.
“I’ll tell him how much you love him and how you can’t wait to love him again in the next life.” He continues to stroke my hair, reminding me so much of when my mother would do the same.
Lost in his words, I don’t realize the pain from my body slipping away. The overworking of my heart and lungs now replaced with a light tingling, starting in my legs and traveling up my torso and arms.
“This isn’t the end, susi,” Jarek whispers. “Not for you and Sorin, not for any of it.” A tear slips from his eye as mine slowly roll closed.
I curse at myself. Shout inwardly to keep them open. Keep them on Jarek. Focus on Alaric but they don’t listen. They won’t open.
Why doesn’t it hurt?
Jarek’s hand finds mine, gripping it firmly. But through all the haze, I realize he has something cradled between our palms. Gently, he folds my hand open and with the last bit of strength I have, I manage to crack my eyes. The card is crumpled and stained but the image is clear.
The Queen of Spades.
“To take with you, wherever it is you’re going,” Jarek whispers against my ear.
I try to squeeze tighter to his hand, but I’m so weak that the card lays limply in my palm. Just as my eyes begin to close, there it is again. That small spot of yellow in a dark forest and I realize just before my eyes close, it’s a bird.
A goldfinch.
The one from my dreams.
Darkness overcomes me as my eyes close again. But I’ve never been afraid of the dark, so my body settles into the familiarity of it. Then, music, faint and light accompanied by a howl I know so well.
Ruse.
She isn’t far.
Alaric sends a howl back, telling her to hurry. She may be here any moment.
But it will be a moment too late.
Nothing will stop the bargain I made.
Nothing but Grawgeth.
Alaric’s fear wraps around my own, constricting me like a snake. Paralyzing. His head lands upon my stomach, his warmth a temporary comfort.
My heart wants to race but it’s already worked so hard, so it slows instead. Jarek’s other hand slides around the back of my head to cradle me.
All I see is darkness.
Until it shifts and there he is. His voice, like a soft melody in my ears. I forget where I am. Forget what has happened. Forget what comes next.
“Sorin,” I whisper, my body twitching. The inky, dark mist lifts as he strides forward, extending his hand to me. My momentary reprieve lapses as I glance beyond him. To the leafless birch trees and carved trunks that bleed black.
“It’s okay, love. Come with me.”
Fear forces itself up my throat, closing off my airways, but I focus on my Sorin and not the fate of my bargain. My body relaxes in Jarek’s arms. Alaric howls, long and slow.
Then, my demons go silent and it’s quiet. So, so quiet.
The line between my brows smooths. I’m no longer afraid. No longer in pain. I’m simply gone.