Chapter 21 - Andie
Chapter Twenty-One - Andie
The cool Chicago air is refreshing after the warmth of the restaurant.
Looking at Spencer, I realize not even a cab ride where it’s just the two of us will be long enough.
I want more time, and Spencer seems to sense it, because instead of immediately hailing a cab we start walking.
Falling into step beside each other, watching the city lights blur past us.
“So, Andie, tell me what brings you to Chicago.” The sensation of his hand finding the small of my back sends tingles down my spine. He slides me to the side of him away from the street in one smooth motion.
“Oh, well I’m actually a nurse. I got a short travel job here in Chicago for a few months. I start in a few days.” I see the disappointment in the way his smile disappears when I mention that I’m not going to be a permanent resident here.
“Travel job? So, you’re here temporarily?”
“Yeah, I live in Kansas. I came here when my . . .” I pause for a split second before I opt to keep that part of my life secret for a bit longer. “I mean, to get away for a little while. So, I’ll work till my contract is up, then I’ll probably go back.”
He looks like he doesn’t want me to go back.
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows down his disappointment.
His lips purse like he is trying to hold back his thoughts, even though they’re written on his face.
I don’t like witnessing his hurt, but at least it’s different from the usual sympathy looks I get.
That could just be because he doesn’t know about my past though. A new worry creeps in when I realize the reason he doesn’t look at me with pity is because he doesn’t know. I know putting this off will only make things worse when the truth comes out.
This man has the potential to save me from a life of loneliness and misery, but I’m choosing to keep him at a distance.
I felt an instant attraction to him from the moment we met.
It was automatic, the sparks caught, and the fireworks went off the moment I felt his touch.
I already know if I lose him, I’ll lose yet another part of myself.
I had that with Cody too, but I used to think this feeling could only happen with one person. Maybe I was wrong. Is it possible that someone could be fortunate enough to find not one soul mate in their lifetime, but two?
As we stand in comfortable silence in the elevator, the tension from our earlier conversation still hangs between us. When we reach my room, we turn to each other to say goodnight. “I had a wonderful time tonight, Spencer, thank you for coming.”
“I hope you weren’t too disappointed when you found out she invited me.” He catches the smile that crosses my face, and I dip my head down just a bit. His hand grips my chin, lifting gently so my eyes meet his.
His thumb brushes my bottom lip as he holds my chin with his index finger.
Shivers run down my spine as I find myself slowly leaning in, stepping closer to him this time with no hesitation.
Without thinking, strictly upon instinct, I grip his suit jacket, carefully pulling him into me.
The knots in my stomach grow as I move closer to him, but my fingers inadvertently relax as they release around his jacket and settle on his chest.
I can feel each of the muscles through the thin layer of fabric his shirt provides.
It takes every ounce in me not to remove that barrier between us.
I should be panicking right now, I should be thinking about Cody, but all I can focus on is Spencer and how right this moment feels.
His lips tease me as they ever so slightly touch against mine, fueling me just enough to urge for more.
With my lips parted, his tongue outlines the bottom lip right before dipping into my mouth.
Deepening the kiss, the intensity increases, forcing us to fall back against the hotel door.
Closer. I need him closer. My body craves more as the doorknob jams hard into my back, but I don’t care about the pain.
Trapped between the door and Spencer, his kiss becomes fiercer by the minute, and I’m determined to keep him locked in my embrace.
I find myself clenching his shirt, hoping to control my need to have him on top of me.
The moment he combs his fingers through my hair, giving a tug, I’m sent over the edge, determined to take this further.
Our door opens, causing me to jolt backwards, breaking the delicious bond between our bodies. He catches me before I can fall completely.
“What are you—Oh my god. I’m so sorry I had no idea you . . .” Maddie’s laughing so hard a snort slips from her. “I heard what sounded like someone falling against the door. I thought you might be hurt.” She’s still giggling. “Clearly, you were just fine.”
Are you serious right now? This couldn’t get any more awkward. It’s like getting caught by your mom making out on the front step after your prom date drops you off at home.
You would think she would be embarrassed for walking in on this, but no, she’s laughing because she caught me in a hot and heavy make-out session. My face is turning a shade of red I’ve never felt before, but my heart is still pounding in my chest.
“It’s okay, I should really get going anyway,” he says, cutting her off. I’m speechless and wanting more. I wanted to take him and pull him right back to me, but I knew the door opening was a sign that things needed to slow down.
“Goodnight, Andie, I hope to see you soon.” His thumb brushes against my lip one last time as he holds my face in his hands.
The doe-eyed look of someone who is ridiculously infatuated—the one I once reserved for my husband is now covering my face.
After planting a gentle kiss on my cheek, he slowly backs away to leave.
“Goodnight, Mr. Spencer!” Maddie yells as he leaves me there to catch my breath.
My heart is a mess with emotions that are tiptoeing on the edge of happiness or self-destruction.
Turning back, Maddie’s face is a combination of surprise and excitement.
“What the hell was that?” Her laughter bubbles up as she breaks into a huge grin.
“It was nothing really.”
“That was not nothing, Andie. I’ve made out with my share of men, and holy shit. You two looked like you were going to pounce on each other. I’m not sure you would have made it in the door before the clothes came off.”
“Maddie, really it was just a kiss goodnight.”
“Damn, I need more goodnight kisses like that.”
“Okay enough, I like him, Maddie. I really do. He’s sweet, charming as hell . . .”
“Don’t forget drop dead gorgeous.”
“That too, yes. I mean I can’t explain it. I feel drawn to him, and I don’t want to leave him when he’s near . . .” She senses there is more to this that I don’t want to say.
“So, what’s the problem?” she asks.
“What if it’s . . . I mean what will people think? Is it too soon to start having these types of feelings?”
Maddie releases a sigh and guides me over to the couch, settling down next to me.
Her voice softens as she tries to put my mind at ease.
“I know you’re worried about this appropriate timeline that you think you should have, but you deserve this.
Spencer’s good for you.” Her hand finds mine, squeezing gently.
The weight of her words settles between us.
“And who gives a fuck what others think. It’s your life to live, you deserve to be happy.”
My mother definitely gives a fuck, but I’ll keep that thought to myself.
“I’m not going to tell you what to do.”
I cock my head to the side, questioning her last comment. Since when? You love telling me what to do.
She continues, leaning forward slightly.
“But don’t stop seeing someone who obviously really likes you.
You deserve your fairytale ending and Spencer might just be your second chance at it.
Fuck what other people think.” She gives me a quick hug to show me she is there regardless of my decision and heads to bed.
Making my way to my bedroom I hear my phone buzzing. I’m relieved to see Spencer’s name on the screen instead of another message from my mother that I’ll have to ignore.
Spencer
I’m sorry our time was cut short. It’s probably for the best. If that door hadn’t opened, I don’t know that I’d have been able to control myself.
Me
I understand. I had a nice evening. Thank you for dinner.
Spencer
I’d love more time with you, Andie. Maybe we can go out again? Next week?
Me
I’d like that. I have orientation coming up, but my evenings are usually pretty free.
Spencer
Of course. I’ll text you soon. Have a goodnight beautiful, sleep well.
Spencer has me wondering if maybe a happily ever after could be in my cards again. He has me acting in ways I never thought I would—craving his presence, wanting his comfort, and questioning everything I thought was right about how one grieves.