Chapter 44 - Andie
Chapter Forty-Four - Andie
It’s been amazing to simply allow myself to love. Letting Spencer in completely has been the miracle that I’d been waiting for. I thought I would never love after Cody. I figured I would have to settle for lust and be content with a loveless relationship.
Spencer, however, showed me something I thought I would never find again. A person who will be there for the good and the bad. One who will challenge you to overcome fears and stand by you as you fight your demons. A person who will show you your worth and treat you with the respect you deserve.
He’s been phenomenal during this whole ordeal. I simply hope that it remains when we face our next challenge: telling my family and friends.
Nothing says fun family gathering like announcing you’re moving away to raise your dead husband’s love child with your new boyfriend. We should sell tickets, this will be an Oscar worthy show.
I let the warmth of Spencer’s embrace encompass my entire body while he sleeps. Unable to sleep myself, I’m too busy dreaming up how to tell people that I will be uprooting my life to move to Chicago and raise the little boy my late husband and his mistress entrusted me with.
Various ways to explain the situation play through my mind. It’s like watching a movie, but you never figure out the ending. I must face everyone, and there will be no turning back.
As darkness becomes light, the sun begins to rise through the large window in my bedroom, I finally cave to pure exhaustion. Hopefully, a couple of hours of sleep will suffice.
A dream I’ve never experienced before dances in front of my eyes, so vivid, as if it wasn’t a dream at all.
Visions of myself as a happy mother, reading with Henry until he got so excited he ran to the front door.
In my mind, he has Cody’s dark hair and bright smile as he’s quickly scooped up into the arms of my husband with tickles and kisses causing Henry to laugh uncontrollably.
My husband walks toward me with Henry, and he wraps his arm around me, bringing me into this family embrace.
The love I felt in the dream fills my heart with joy. Who was the man that filled this role, my husband and Henry’s dad? It was Spencer. He is the one who fills my heart with happiness and who has inserted himself permanently into my life.
“Sweetheart, it’s time to wake up.” Spencer is brushing the hair away from my cheek. As he continues this motion, I get lost in his touch.
“Do I have to? I could just stay like this with you all day.” I burrow deeper into the warmth of the sheets, seeking a few more minutes of peace before the storm.
“I know, Sweetheart. I would love to stay like this, but everyone will be here soon.”
“You’re such a mood killer.” The enjoyment leaves my face as I fling back the covers, getting ready to brave the day.
It isn’t long before my house feels crowded.
We have the usual suspects who have been staying with us—Abby, Maddie, and Evan, but to top it off, I invited my parents and Charlie to be part of the news.
The most important people in one place. While people know pieces of what’s happening—some know about Henry, others about Spencer, but no one knows my final decision on any of it.
I’m hoping this will be a good idea, though I know some of them won’t be thrilled about us moving to Chicago or Spencer becoming Henry’s father figure. I can only go through the pain of disappointment from my family and friends once.
“So far so good, right? Everyone is getting along, everyone is laughing and enjoying themselves. Maybe it won’t be so bad,” Spencer says, watching the group interact with cautious optimism. But when I look around, I see how many relationships are hanging on by a thread.
Bless his heart, he really thinks this is going to go smoothly.
Charlie has barely looked at me since he arrived, making me think he only came out of obligation or guilt for not telling me about Henry to begin with.
We haven’t really spoken since that day at the lawyer’s office.
Honestly, I don’t know what to say. I’m hoping to pull him aside after I talk to everyone and have a chance to discuss what happened.
“What are you thinking, Sweetheart?” he asks, snapping me out of my trance. Instead of offering him an answer, I decide to show him what optimism does in our family.
Watch his positivity get squashed real fast when my mother gets involved.
“You don’t know my mother well enough. I’ll tell you what . . . I bet you that at some point, she will tell me I’m ruining my life or some version of that.”
“I’ll take that bet,” he says confidently.
“I mean, you’re right, I don’t know your mom that well.
She seemed a bit rough during our first interaction, but I don’t think any mother would tell their kid they are ruining their life by taking in a child.
” Spencer’s curious, but it’s cute that he thinks my mother is like a normal individual and that she’ll be happy for me. “What do I get if I win?”
“What do you want?”
“Hmm, if I win, you move in with me.”
Well, shit, that escalated quickly. I’m a bit stunned, but I agree. Deep down I’m hoping he wins.
“If I win, you have to be my date to my sister’s wedding.”
“That’s insane, that’s all you want?” he asks through a laugh.
“Yep, that’s all I want. Trust me—attending a family function is punishment enough. Besides, I already have everything else.”
The smile that spreads across his face when he realizes what I mean makes me feel like a high school girl who just got asked to prom by her crush.
“Can we have everyone gather in the living room? I want to explain why we asked you guys here.”
As they settle around, my nerves begin to pick up. The room looks split—my parents, Charlie, and Abby all sit on one side while Maddie and Evan sit on the other side. I look down to find that I’m picking at my nails out of habit.
This is exactly how I imagine a dinner seating chart for two rival mob families would look.
It isn’t until Spencer’s hand takes mine, giving it a small, reassuring squeeze, that I feel grounded again.
“Andie, sweetie, can we move this along?” my mother says, impatience evident in her tone.
Taking a deep calming breath, I decide that just getting it out will be what’s best.
“I know Dad has filled some of you in already, but I want to tell everyone officially. I’ve been named the guardian of Cody’s son. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, but after a lot of processing, I have decided to take in and raise this little boy.”
I hear the congratulations, I hear the I’m so happy for you, but they are all drowned out by one comment.
“Are you kidding me, Andie? You’re going to ruin your life. You are in no position to raise a child.” My mother’s voice cuts through the room.
And there it is. Spencer owes me a trip to the world’s most uncomfortable wedding.
I look over at Spencer, shock evident on his face. A small smile across mine. “Do I get a prize if she begins to mention how it affects her?” I whisper to him while she continues her rant. He looks at me like I have two heads. “Just wait, you’ll see.”
“Mom, it’s not an ideal situation, but I can do this. I can care for this boy and love him like my own. He deserves that, and I want to give him the love he deserves.”
“You may be able to accept this Andie, but I can’t.
I am not going to help you with raising this child.
He needs a stable home, not a mother who works long hours and obviously has her own issues she is working through.
Besides, I already raised my kids, this is not what I signed up for.
Did you even stop to think how this would affect me?
I never signed up to babysit anyone’s kid. ”
And we have a winner. It’s the inevitable moment where my mother makes everything about her yet again. I really should give Spencer his request just for dealing with this.
I will not let my mother’s words tear me down even though it still hurts to hear I will never be good enough.
“Margaret, you need to stop.” My father’s voice surprises everyone in the room.
“Andie is one of the strongest people I know. She has overcome many obstacles in her life and is still striving to create the life she wants.” Go dad.
“She works hard, and she loves hard, if this is what she wants, then just embrace it.”
My jaw nearly hits the floor. Dad has never stood up to Mom like this before.
The shock of seeing my conflict-avoiding father finally standing up to Mom is overwhelming.
I understand why it took so long—we’re cut from the same cloth, both preferring peace over confrontation.
But today she pushed past his limit, and honestly?
It feels amazing to know he chose me over keeping quiet.
“I’m done listening to this," he continues. “You either need to support your daughter and love the amazing girl that you helped raise, or step aside. Either way, I no longer want to hear you treat her like she is any less than the phenomenal girl she is.”
Dad came in with the save. This is definitely going in my memory highlight reel.
I mouth a silent thank you Daddy to him, and his head nod is all the recognition I need to realize that I have his full support. Abby rushes to my side to give me a hug, excited that I’m taking on the new role of being a mother.
“I’m just saying she doesn’t even have a stable home right now,” my mother continues, unwilling to back down.
“Your home is here, and your job is in Chicago, then what? Are you coming back here? Who’s watching him while you are working in Chicago?
Are you quitting that assignment and going back to your old work?
There is just more to this than saying you’re going to be his mom wrapped up into this decision. ”
“Stop it, Mom. Andie’s got this. She’s one of the most capable people I know.
I’m sure she’s thought about everything.
Can’t you just be excited for her?” Abby’s words stun me to the point I find myself unable to move, my hands stagnate, not able to wrap around her for the second hug she’s trying to give.
“Plus, I’m gonna make an awesome uncle, that kid will learn all the charm and swagger he needs in life from me,” Evan jokes.
Maddie rolls her eyes but can’t hide her smile. “God help that poor child.”
“Hey, my charm is an art form!” Despite the brief moment of levity, my mother isn’t deterred.
She isn’t wrong, there is a lot wrapped up in this, but that’s exactly why I sat down with Spencer. Exactly why we talked about everything we could think of when it comes to adding Henry to our lives.
“I get that, Mom, I do. I’m not thinking this will be easy, but I will have plenty of support—"
"Who, Andie? Who is going to help you with this?" she interrupts. “You didn’t ask me or your father. So, who is helping you with raising this little boy?”
“Mrs. Rose . . .” Spencer tries to step in, but my mother isn’t having it.
“No, Spencer, I’m sorry, but this is a family matter, and you are not family. I don’t understand what you’re even doing here. So, if you don’t mind, I want to hear from my daughter.”
The tensions are high, and my nerves are no longer the problem. My frustration with my mother and her disrespect is about to make me explode. In fact, I have no fucks left to give, and my mother is about to realize that.
“Mom! Stop! Spencer has every reason to be here. Especially since he’ll be helping me raise Henry in Chicago, where we will live.” My hand waves frantically between Spencer and me, showing her who we encompasses.
The silence in the room is eerie. I’ve been in graveyards that make more noise.
Charlie hasn’t said a single word. His jaw is clenched, and his hands are in fists.
My mother opens her mouth to argue back, and he stands up and storms out, leaving everyone speechless.
Telling me just how out of hand everything is.
I start to get up to follow him, to confront the anger that radiates off him, but Spencer’s hand gently stops me.
“I’ve got this.” His eyes meet mine with quiet determination. “Let me handle it.” I want to protest, but something tells me to just let Spencer take the lead.
Standing on the porch I watch Spencer catch up with Charlie before he can get in his car. They’re too far away for me to hear what’s being said, but I can see the tension in both their postures. My heart thumps in my chest as I impatiently wait to see how this plays out.
It isn’t until Spencer looks up briefly to meet my gaze, the love in his eyes is so clear, so certain, and I know that no matter what transpires everything will be okay as long as I have him by my side.