Chapter 7 #2
How he wished he could leave the blasted party!
His wife looked too alluring in her new gown with the Darcy jewels sparkling around her neck.
He yearned to hold her and kiss her passionately but circumstances obligated him to control his urges.
Georgiana’s debut Season compelled them to accept invitations to all these ridiculous social events, but he would do all he could to ease his sister’s way into society.
If he had his preference, he would be at home in bed with his lovely Elizabeth in his arms. He found the happiness he had longed for his entire life when he listened to his heart and married her.
Darcy smiled as he rolled over in bed and reached out to the empty space beside him where Elizabeth had been in his dream. Good heavens! He should not be dreaming of Elizabeth Bennet! He owed it to his family to marry well, even though his walking was permanently impaired and his face was scarred.
* * *
Elizabeth was alone in the kitchen when Mrs. Reynolds entered. “Do you have a few minutes to spare, ma’am?”
“Of course. I was just coming in to have a cup of tea.”
When Mrs. Reynolds was seated, Elizabeth told her about the contents of her aunt’s most recent letter and Mr. Darcy’s response.
“You are a perceptive woman and it will not surprize you to hear I have developed a tender regard for Mr. Darcy. When I told him of my aunt’s invitation to return to London, his response was dismissive.
Spending so much time together has only served to encourage my affection for him but evidently not his sentiments towards me.
Our circumstances in life are so different but even so, I cannot stop feeling the way I do.
I have seen Mr. Butler several times and although our encounters have lasted only a few moments, unlike Mr. Darcy, he appears to hold me in esteem. ”
“My dear girl, I have known Mr. Darcy since he was a little boy. I can see by the way he behaves that he cares very deeply for you. He has been isolated here for most of the past five years and is often awkward and unable to express his thoughts to other people. In my opinion, he does not know what to do with his emotions—he is badly scarred and, until recently, depended on a cane to walk. He believes no woman would want him as he is. Life has dealt my dear Master Fitzwilliam a number of very hard blows. Losing his parents made him cautious to care for anyone lest they too be taken from him, and this event multiplied that concern. His parents would be so proud of the way he has cared for his sister and recovered from the fire, but he does not see his situation that way. I have observed his eyes following you wherever you go, and his face lights up when you enter a room. Pray stay here a little longer. I am certain you will soon learn how fond he is of you. As for Mr. Butler, only you can decide if you return his affections.”
“I hardly know the gentleman. Our encounters have been brief and infrequent. My affections for Mr. Darcy are the only emotions I can think about.” Is Mrs. Reynolds correct in her prediction that Mr. Darcy would soon tell me how he feels? Does he believe I would abandon him?
* * *
Not long after Elizabeth received the letter from her aunt, Mr. Darcy asked her to join him in the drawing room. He looked in her eyes and spoke quietly, “I hope you will decide to stay here. I am grateful to you, and you have changed my life for the better. Please say you will not go.”
“I thank you for saying that. I am inclined to remain in Derbyshire but when I told you of my aunt’s invitation to live in London, you seemed not to care whether or not I remained here.” Was gratitude all he could ever feel for me?
“Your question surprized me, that is all. I was unprepared to say anything at that time. I have been trained to make important decisions only after careful deliberation.”
“Very well, I shall stay for now.” After a short pause, she asked, “Why are you staring at my face?”
“I apologise. I remember you saying your sisters said your birthmark looks like a plum, but I was just thinking it does resemble a map of England.” He smiled.
Did he mistakenly believe he had been clever?
“Excuse me, I must return to my duties.” Although she had few responsibilities in the cottage, she could not remain seated beside him.
How terrible! He thinks my face looks like a map!
He asked her to stay here but would not come near her in any way.
What a fool she was to think this man could ever care for her as she did him.
Should she encourage Mr. Butler to see her more often or instead, arrange her transportation to London?
She must decide what will be best for her. . .and soon.
* * *
As Elizabeth quit the room, Darcy was suddenly gripped with anxiety.
Did he make a terrible mistake asking her to remain in Derbyshire?
Had he given her false hope? Would she think asking her to stay was tantamount to a proposal?
He cared for her, but despite her status as a gentleman’s daughter, she was a maid, and nothing could ever change that.
Would his family refuse to meet her? She was a gentleman’s daughter and deserved to be treated with kindness and respect.
Would they all be better off if she married the vicar? Had he done the right thing?
* * *
After asking Elizabeth to stay, Darcy had trouble sleeping.
He could not get the words he spoke to her out of his mind.
Night after night, he debated with himself about what he should do.
He did not wish for her to leave, but was asking her to remain in Derbyshire the same as asking for her hand?
He needed her in his life and did not wish to lose her to another man.
What of his family’s reaction? Yet, all would not be impossible.
If need be, Lady Matlock could sponsor his sister’s debut so Georgiana would not be adversely affected by his choice of wife.
Mr. Martin was right, he was his own man, able to make any decisions he believed would gratify him.
Elizabeth made every day worth living, and he could not envision his future without her.
Were his feelings for her love? Could he tell her his thoughts if he was unsure himself?
She always seemed happy when they were together, but did she hold him in affection?
He must decide what he should do. . .and soon.
Pemberley, 12 April
Dearest Georgiana,
I cannot tell you how much I miss you and hope you are well and happy staying with my aunt and uncle in town.
It may surprize you to learn that I am planning to ask a young woman I met in Lambton for her hand.
Her name is Elizabeth Bennet, and her father’s estate is in Hertfordshire.
When you meet her, I know you will love having her as a sister.
All the Darcy jewels were stolen during the fire, but I am relieved to tell you they have been recovered in London.
Richard will bring them when he next comes north.
Your jewellery box was found in the rubble, and I hope to give Elizabeth one of my mother’s rings.
I shall replace it with one of the family jewels and return my mother’s bequest to you as soon as may be.
I shall write again when my plans are concluded, and I shall tell you more about my future wife.
Please say nothing to anyone until it is all settled.
I remain your loving brother,
Fitzwilliam
Matlock House, London, 13 April
Fitzwilliam,
I am overjoyed for you! Elizabeth must be very special, and I am excited to meet her as soon as you tell me I may.
Of course, you may give your betrothed one of my mother’s rings, and she may keep it as long as she likes.
My dear brother, I believe my parents are smiling down on you and wishing you all the happiness you deserve.
We are leaving London soon, and I look forward to seeing you and your betrothed.
Your loving sister,
Georgiana
* * *
Darcy asked Elizabeth to join him on one of the benches in the garden.
“Thank you for meeting me, Miss Bennet. There is something important I would like to ask you.” She was sitting on his right side, and he observed the perfect left side of her beautiful face, her delicate brows, her sparkling eyes, and her full pink lips.
Will she say yes? Did she care for him or did she pity a damaged, scarred man?
* * *
Her heart raced as she looked straight ahead. Would he ever ask her what she wished him to ask? No, she was but a servant in his house and he could never ask her to be his wife. Perhaps he wished to know when she would like to return to London and planned to offer her a carriage to do so.
“Elizabeth you are a kind, compassionate person. Your exuberance lights up every room you enter. You are more knowledgeable than any woman I have ever met, and you are not afraid to express your own opinions. I hope you will say you will be my wife.”
She turned her head away so her bonnet hid the expression of shock and sadness on her face.
That was his proposal of marriage? He said she was kind yet did not speak of any affection for her, much less love.
As often as she had dreamt of his asking for her hand, she never imagined there would be absolutely no emotion in his abrupt request. If he did not care for her, why did he ask her to be his wife?
“Mr. Darcy, I am grateful for your offer, but I cannot marry you. I am a housemaid with a red mark on my face. You should marry a belle of the ton.”
“My aunt introduced me to so many of those so-called belles that their names and faces were nothing but a blur in my mind. They had no real interest in me, only my wealth and connexions. All they sought was a life of affluence and luxury. I am a gentleman, and you are a gentleman’s daughter; we are equals. ”