Chapter 39
RILEY.
“What do you mean by bad things?” Her eyes narrowed as she stared back at me, and I felt my knees buckle.
I let go of my grip on her wrist and sat down on the stairs. She was still standing, holding onto the handrail, but her eyes followed my movement.
“Sit here.” I patted the space beside me.
“No.”
I let out a deep sigh. I would have wanted to talk in a confined space, like my office or our bedroom, but I didn’t want to push my luck.
“Andrea was the only female that I let around me. We grew up together. And before I knew it, I was already becoming possessive of her, especially when Caspian came into the picture. She was smitten by him.”
“Riley, I really don’t want to hear how much you loved her. You’re just hurting me more. I just want to know why she’s here and why you didn’t tell me?”
I closed my eyes for a while, clasping my hands together while my forearms were resting on my thighs as I looked at the space in front of the stairs. “Andrea never loved me. And she never wanted to be with me. She wanted Caspian from the beginning, even before they found out they were fated mates.”
“I’m not understanding anything. Why was she with you then?”
“I forced her to be with me. There was a blood contract that she could not get away from. It was between our fathers, but I could have easily broken it, but I didn’t. I was forcing her to be my Luna, using the contract as leverage.”
“Riley…”
I palmed my face, not knowing how to explain more. “That was the reason I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t know she was coming today with Caspian. And when I saw her, I was afraid if you saw her, you would find out what I did to her…”
“Did you hurt her?”
“No. At least not physically. But emotionally, yes I did…”
“Did you rape her?”
“No. No. I never even thought about it. You were my first sexual encounter... I thought you knew that by now.”
“I don’t know if anything you showed me or told me was true…”
“Nadia… Everything I showed you and said to you was true. The only thing I withheld was that information. I don’t want my past to remind you…”
“Of Elliot? Of how he was forcing himself on me?” She scoffed with a laugh, and my breathing hitched. Her reaction pained me more. “And here I was, believing you were the one left behind. That Andrea was the bad person here. When, in fact...”
And the thing I was afraid of was happening—her seeing me as the bad man, as a monster.
NADIA.
“And here I was, believing you were the one left behind. That Andrea was the bad person here. When, in fact...”
I couldn’t say it.
Despite everything he told me, I couldn’t find it in my heart to say that he was a ‘monster’ like Elliot. Because he wasn’t. He was never my monster. But he certainly was for Andrea.
I clamped my hand over my mouth as I struggled to stop myself from sobbing. This was all too much for me. I walked away from Riley, but I didn’t even know if I wanted him to follow me or not.
Maybe I was stupid or crazy because, despite everything, my heart was still beating for him. Maybe because of the mate bond. It was the only logical reason, because how could I love someone like him?
I didn’t notice when I entered our room. I just found myself tucked inside the blanket, my body in a coiled position as I sobbed my heart out.
Elliot didn’t touch me either, but he looked at me in a lewd way, and I wondered if Riley was like that to Andrea.
So many things were running through my mind.
I was trying to justify Riley’s ways because the Goddess knew that if those words hadn’t come from his mouth, I would never have believed he was capable of such things.
Goddess, why me? Why Riley?
I woke up with a pounding headache and it took a while before it registered where I was and what happened before I fell asleep.
It was too dark. I clutched the blanket closer to my chest at the same time the bathroom door opened and Riley came out of it, freshly showered and already wearing a shirt and sweatpants.
He saw that I was awake, so there was no use in pretending that I wasn’t.
“You’re awake. I brought you food. You didn’t eat anything the whole day.”
“What time is it?”
“Almost nine in the evening.”
“I just want to sleep.”
“Okay…”
Silence
“Can I sleep here?” He asked, his voice sounding too low and hoarse.
“No.”
“Okay. Goodnight then.”
I didn’t reply. I waited for him to move out of the room, but he didn’t.
“Nadia… About the others. They didn’t do anything wrong.
If anything, they were not in agreement with what I did to Andrea.
They all stayed to make sure I didn’t hurt her.
And they didn’t tell you because I ordered them not to.
I used the Alpha command on them. Everything is my fault.
Don’t blame them or take your anger out on them.
Especially with Jenny. If you need to let it out, I’m just here. I’ll take all the blows.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was glad Jenny didn’t do it intentionally. But then it all pointed to one thing—Riley alone was guilty of everything that was causing me pain.
“Eat something. Or at least drink the chocolate drink I made for you just so you have something in your stomach.”
“Hmmm.”
“Goodnight, Nadia…” I heard him let out a deep sigh before the door opened and closed.
I waited for a few minutes because I got the strength to get up from my bed. My eyes darted to the food trolled by the couch, and my stomach rumbled. I was hungry, but my mouth wasn’t craving anything.
I picked up the cup of hot chocolate instead, it was still warm. I sat on the wide window sill facing the forest. I pressed the cup to my lips, and just as I was about to tip it over for a drink, I saw a figure on the ground.
Hunter.
Arrow whimpered in my head, missing her other half, and I felt the same. But we just couldn’t give in to our emotions.
I opened the window a little, just enough for a breeze of air to come in. I didn’t know why I opened it, but I was hoping if Hunter would let out a growl or a howl, then I wanted to hear it, to pacify my pain and Arrow’s too.
Hunter sprang inside the forest and he was gone from my hindsight but it didn’t take long before a howl erupted into the thin air.
Hunter was howling to the moon, howling in anguish, and my heart clenched at his pain. We were all hurting from this.